Birds of a Feather s04e03 Commitments Subtitles

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00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:06,What do I do when I'm alone

00:00:06,660 --> 00:00:10,with only dreams?

00:00:54,640 --> 00:00:57,Too rag, I bought these off. I might
need one when I rearrange the contents

00:00:57,960 --> 00:00:58,his face.

00:00:58,860 --> 00:01:01,I tell you, if these are a size 14, I **
Jerry Hall.

00:01:03,700 --> 00:01:06,If you're a size 14, then I'm Jerry
Hall.

00:01:06,960 --> 00:01:08,What are you doing on the floor?

00:01:08,920 --> 00:01:11,Haven't you ever had to lie down on the
floor to do up your flies?

00:01:12,280 --> 00:01:14,I never had any difficulty getting into
a pair of jeans.

00:01:16,040 --> 00:01:17,Not even your own?

00:01:23,410 --> 00:01:24,Actually, I've come about tonight.

00:01:25,290 --> 00:01:28,What are you going to wear, Dore? Do you
want to go to JJ's straight away or

00:01:28,790 --> 00:01:30,open a wine box back here first?

00:01:30,590 --> 00:01:34,I'll tell you something, Dore. I have
every intention of getting seriously rat

00:01:34,590 --> 00:01:35,-arsed tonight.

00:01:35,470 --> 00:01:36,I can't come.

00:01:37,610 --> 00:01:38,Eh?

00:01:39,030 --> 00:01:41,We've been planning to check out this
wine bar for weeks.

00:01:42,310 --> 00:01:44,Ever since Sue said it was wall -to
-wall Chippendales.

00:01:46,490 --> 00:01:47,Was it Chipmunks?

00:01:49,230 --> 00:01:51,Mind you, the state of my s***x life,
anything would do.

00:01:51,810 --> 00:01:53,Yes, well, something's come up.

00:01:54,250 --> 00:01:56,Well, some of it will come up tonight if
we play our cards right.

00:01:59,190 --> 00:02:00,Oh, go on, tell me then.

00:02:02,890 --> 00:02:03,Luke's back.

00:02:04,690 --> 00:02:07,Oh, Sharon, I ** so happy.

00:02:07,670 --> 00:02:11,Luke's chucked that brainless bimbette
Kelly and he wants us to try again and

00:02:11,650 --> 00:02:12,I've said yes.

00:02:12,870 --> 00:02:13,Who wouldn't?

00:02:14,130 --> 00:02:16,Your Luke's g***t a better packed lunch
than any of them Chippendales.

00:02:19,550 --> 00:02:20,body I want back.

00:02:21,730 --> 00:02:22,Well, all right, then.

00:02:22,830 --> 00:02:24,You have his stamp collection, I'll have
his body.

00:02:25,790 --> 00:02:30,It's his honesty, his sense of humour,
his simple, caring love.

00:02:32,530 --> 00:02:35,Oh, all right, and the way he looks in a
pair of ripped 501s.

00:02:36,030 --> 00:02:39,Well, you can tell him I'm just about to
burst out of these if he wants them.

00:02:45,270 --> 00:02:46,She's been to visit Daryl.

00:02:47,400 --> 00:02:50,We've g***t this special code when he
wants to talk intimate, you know, and

00:02:50,640 --> 00:02:51,screws are listening.

00:02:51,940 --> 00:02:55,This afternoon he said his vegetable
patch was coming along nicely.

00:03:01,400 --> 00:03:02,That's disgusting.

00:03:04,820 --> 00:03:06,So, what are you two been up for?

00:03:07,020 --> 00:03:08,I picked up your dry cleaning.

00:03:08,820 --> 00:03:11,I've done beef burgers for tea. And
Dorian's back with Luke.

00:03:12,360 --> 00:03:13,You're kidding.

00:03:13,640 --> 00:03:15,I like beef burgers.

00:03:17,020 --> 00:03:18,He phoned yesterday afternoon.

00:03:18,620 --> 00:03:20,We met yesterday evening.

00:03:20,460 --> 00:03:23,And we finally g***t round to talking at .30 this morning.

00:03:23,640 --> 00:03:24,What about Marcus?

00:03:25,220 --> 00:03:27,Sorry? You know, the bloke that pays
your mortgage.

00:03:28,820 --> 00:03:31,Must have seen him. Good suit. Drives a
Jag.

00:03:33,060 --> 00:03:37,Marcus is in Turin on business. So I'm
moving in with Luke on a sort of trial

00:03:37,200 --> 00:03:38,basis.

00:03:38,660 --> 00:03:40,Oh, God, I feel marvellous.

00:03:41,100 --> 00:03:43,This is the first day of the rest of my
life.

00:03:44,330 --> 00:03:48,Well, I can't hang around here gripping
though your sad and empty lives are.

00:03:48,810 --> 00:03:51,I've g***t a 24 -year -old hunk to
worship.

00:03:52,030 --> 00:03:53,Here's where you can reach me.

00:03:53,650 --> 00:03:54,Emergencies only.

00:03:54,710 --> 00:03:55,Enjoy your beef burger.

00:04:15,260 --> 00:04:17,Oh, can you walk then, shall?

00:04:17,860 --> 00:04:19,Yes, Trace. Yeah, you look nice.

00:04:19,779 --> 00:04:21,I've g***t a blue silk shirt, just like
that one.

00:04:21,839 --> 00:04:22,Small world, isn't it?

00:04:23,140 --> 00:04:26,Yeah. How come she's getting all dressed
up to go and visit Chris? He normally

00:04:26,280 --> 00:04:27,pulls something out of the bottom of the
laundry basket.

00:04:28,140 --> 00:04:29,That was when he was just my husband.

00:04:29,680 --> 00:04:30,He's my business partner now.

00:04:31,240 --> 00:04:35,You're going soft, girl. Remember how he
treated you? The lies, the other women,

00:04:35,380 --> 00:04:37,the way he used to pick his toenails
with a bread knife?

00:04:39,360 --> 00:04:41,Oh, Walter under the bridge, Trace.

00:04:42,050 --> 00:04:43,I'm in Chigwell. He's inside.

00:04:43,890 --> 00:04:46,Well, what about that dream you're
always having, where he's g***t his bum

00:04:46,270 --> 00:04:47,on a carsey full of piranha fish?

00:04:49,230 --> 00:04:51,You weren't due the last time I had it.
Those only guppies.

00:04:51,970 --> 00:04:55,Once a scumbag, always a scumbag. But
it's your life, Shell.

00:04:55,570 --> 00:04:57,And it's my scumbag, Trace.

00:04:57,890 --> 00:04:58,So what are you doing this afternoon?

00:04:59,990 --> 00:05:02,Well, I was going to visit Doreen, so I
remember she'd moved.

00:05:03,050 --> 00:05:04,It's funny, isn't it?

00:05:04,190 --> 00:05:07,Three years of her bursting in uninvited
and taking the mickey out of us because

00:05:07,690 --> 00:05:08,we're common.

00:05:09,060 --> 00:05:11,Telling her that she passed the time
when she was stuck in a lift with lute

00:05:11,940 --> 00:05:12,tan, second eleven.

00:05:13,980 --> 00:05:15,I miss her now she's at Luke's.

00:05:16,260 --> 00:05:17,And you reckon I'm going soft?

00:05:18,180 --> 00:05:18,Well, don't you?

00:05:18,960 --> 00:05:19,Miss her, I mean.

00:05:20,620 --> 00:05:21,Of course not, you lemon.

00:05:24,060 --> 00:05:27,I want some love, that's true.

00:05:28,000 --> 00:05:31,And the council were digging up the I
Street last week. Oh, yeah? Again.

00:05:32,060 --> 00:05:34,So we had all the nabbies in, stoking up
on greaseburgers.

00:05:35,320 --> 00:05:39,I reckon we cleared at least an extra quid. You really g***t this careful

00:05:39,600 --> 00:05:40,exercise, don't you, Cheryl?

00:05:40,920 --> 00:05:43,The Anita Roddick of the fried slice,
me.

00:05:44,920 --> 00:05:46,And you're looking smashing today.

00:05:47,660 --> 00:05:50,Usually, you look like you've pulled
something from the bottom of the laundry

00:05:50,080 --> 00:05:51,basket.

00:05:52,340 --> 00:05:53,Yeah, well, I've mellowed.

00:05:54,260 --> 00:05:55,Mellowed? That's the word.

00:05:56,540 --> 00:05:58,Plus, you know what I realised on the
way down here, Chris?

00:05:59,360 --> 00:06:00,I don't fancy you no more.

00:06:01,180 --> 00:06:02,Oh, what?

00:06:02,460 --> 00:06:03,Is it the gear?

00:06:03,790 --> 00:06:07,I'm afraid Giorgio Armani didn't have
much creative input on this little lot.

00:06:08,170 --> 00:06:09,No, it ain't the gear.

00:06:09,510 --> 00:06:12,Hey, I bet you don't remember what I was
wearing the night we met.

00:06:14,750 --> 00:06:18,White trousers, black shirt and under
appendix scarf. Yeah, all right, keep

00:06:18,730 --> 00:06:22,voice down. And a dirty great medallion
that you probably found inside a box of

00:06:22,650 --> 00:06:24,cornflakes. Yeah, did the trick though,
didn't it, eh?

00:06:25,730 --> 00:06:30,Yeah, because by the end of the night,
you was down to a pair of underpants

00:06:30,110 --> 00:06:31,they could have featured on Wildlife
Online.

00:06:33,990 --> 00:06:34,Happy days.

00:06:36,010 --> 00:06:37,It's true, though, Chris.

00:06:37,590 --> 00:06:40,Before you g***t banged up, you led me a
dog's life because of all the dogs you

00:06:40,890 --> 00:06:41,were seeing.

00:06:41,910 --> 00:06:45,There was that Letha, Maureen, the bird
down the spud you like. Oh, Tricia.

00:06:46,630 --> 00:06:48,She always used to smell of sour cream
and chives.

00:06:50,130 --> 00:06:53,You gave me a terrible tongue -lashing
about it. Didn't half turn me on.

00:06:54,350 --> 00:06:56,I gave you Elle because I fancied you.

00:06:57,110 --> 00:06:58,But I don't fancy you no more.

00:06:59,090 --> 00:07:00,Fair enough.

00:07:01,410 --> 00:07:03,I must say, you take this terribly well,
Chris.

00:07:05,120 --> 00:07:08,A couple of years ago, you would have
seen it as a slur on your macho Greek

00:07:08,600 --> 00:07:11,manhood. Yeah, well, perhaps we've both
changed.

00:07:11,880 --> 00:07:13,I used to be a faultless git.

00:07:14,320 --> 00:07:15,Yeah, all right, all right.

00:07:16,760 --> 00:07:17,Maybe I still **.

00:07:18,080 --> 00:07:21,You used to be a slob and a tracksuit
with more rabbit than water s***t down.

00:07:21,700 -->...

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