Carry On - 02 - Carry On Nurse Subtitles
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00:02:08,120 --> 00:02:11,Silver Maid keeping ahead in
front of Dasher and Boy Blue.
00:02:11,160 --> 00:02:12,But the favourite,
Red Dice, is now
00:02:12,655 --> 00:02:14,lengths behind. He's
right out of it.
00:02:14,240 --> 00:02:16,Inside the last furlong,
and Dasher's taken
00:02:16,392 --> 00:02:18,it up. Moving through
very smoothly.
00:02:18,240 --> 00:02:20,Silver Maid hanging on
to second place. And
00:02:20,688 --> 00:02:23,at the post, it's Dasher
from Silver Maid...
00:02:35,120 --> 00:02:36,Well, did it win?
00:02:36,240 --> 00:02:39,That nag should be going
into hospital, not you.
00:02:39,080 --> 00:02:41,Bad luck. I wonder who
won the baby stakes.
00:02:43,040 --> 00:02:44,Oh.
00:02:44,080 --> 00:02:46,Supposing I'd been on it.
00:02:53,240 --> 00:02:55,Ah. Where do I go?
00:02:55,080 --> 00:02:58,- Hey. I can walk, you know.
- Nobody walks in here.
00:02:58,200 --> 00:03:01,- Any chance of walking out?
- We've g***t to do the job proper.
00:03:27,000 --> 00:03:29,- Over here, Mr York.
- Right, nurse.
00:03:29,120 --> 00:03:30,Thanks for the ride, boys.
00:03:30,464 --> 00:03:32,Give us a write-up in the papers.
00:03:34,200 --> 00:03:35,Will you get into bed, please?
00:03:35,834 --> 00:03:38,I... didn't have time
to get my pyjamas.
00:03:38,120 --> 00:03:40,Oh, that's all right. You
won't need any just now.
00:03:45,040 --> 00:03:46,Thanks.
00:03:46,240 --> 00:03:50,- What's he g***t, then, Mick?
- Appendicitis.
00:03:50,120 --> 00:03:51,Ten days' job.
00:03:52,040 --> 00:03:54,Cor blimey. Only ten days.
00:03:55,120 --> 00:03:57,When I think how easily
that could have been
00:03:57,210 --> 00:03:59,avoided, I could kick
myself, I tell you.
00:03:59,200 --> 00:04:01,Did you hear what I said then?
00:04:01,200 --> 00:04:03,I said I could kick myself.
00:04:03,200 --> 00:04:05,Kick myself, with that on, I said.
00:04:05,200 --> 00:04:09,I think that's very funny,
Mick. Don't you, Mick?
00:04:11,120 --> 00:04:13,- Hello, Mick.
- Hello, Mr Able.
00:04:21,160 --> 00:04:24,- There you are.
- What's that? A shroud?
00:04:24,120 --> 00:04:26,No, an operating gown.
00:04:39,160 --> 00:04:40,Your turn.
00:04:43,120 --> 00:04:44,Yes, Colonel?
00:04:44,240 --> 00:04:48,I want to see that ward
orderly chap - Mick.
00:04:48,080 --> 00:04:51,You can't. It's our job to
answer the buzzer, not his.
00:04:51,160 --> 00:04:53,You've only been here
half a day and you've
00:04:53,198 --> 00:04:55,called us a dozen times
for no good reason.
00:04:55,240 --> 00:04:59,Now, do try and remember the
buzzer's only for emergencies.
00:04:59,080 --> 00:05:01,- This is an emergency.
- What kind of an emergency?
00:05:01,240 --> 00:05:03,Every time Mick comes
in here, he stays too
00:05:03,515 --> 00:05:05,long. I don't know what
you find to talk about.
00:05:06,040 --> 00:05:08,I dare say you don't.
There's some things we men
00:05:08,124 --> 00:05:10,talk about it's better
for women not to know.
00:05:10,120 --> 00:05:11,I can imagine that.
00:05:11,196 --> 00:05:13,I doubt it, young
lady. I doubt it.
00:05:13,240 --> 00:05:15,Well, what do you want him for?
00:05:15,120 --> 00:05:17,What can he do for you that
I can't? Tell me that.
00:05:17,200 --> 00:05:19,Ho-ho-ho. Don't tempt
me, girl. Just
00:05:19,057 --> 00:05:21,tell Mick I want him,
would you, please?
00:05:21,160 --> 00:05:23,All right. Just this once.
00:05:30,000 --> 00:05:32,Ah, Mick, my boy. That's
right, shut the door.
00:05:32,240 --> 00:05:34,Now then, dictation.
G***t your notebook?
00:05:34,982 --> 00:05:35,Yes, sir.
00:05:36,080 --> 00:05:38,Good. Here we are, then.
00:05:38,080 --> 00:05:40,Bob each way, the Black Prince.
00:05:40,200 --> 00:05:42,That's the 3:30 at Chepstow.
00:05:42,200 --> 00:05:45,Black Prince, 3:30 at Chepstow.
00:05:45,200 --> 00:05:48,Half a dollar to win, Rambler.
00:05:48,120 --> 00:05:50,R-A-M-B-L-E-R.
00:05:50,120 --> 00:05:53,Now that's the 4:15 at Redcar.
00:05:53,040 --> 00:05:55,4:15, Redcar.
00:05:55,080 --> 00:05:57,- That's all, I think.
- Right, Colonel.
00:05:57,160 --> 00:05:58,Well, you just settle down,
00:05:58,797 --> 00:06:01,Colonel. I'll wait
for the results.
00:06:01,040 --> 00:06:03,Oh, get me 20 Player's,
would you, please?
00:06:03,285 --> 00:06:04,Yes, sir.
00:06:04,333 --> 00:06:06,Don't bother about that.
00:06:09,000 --> 00:06:10,Good afternoon. Name?
00:06:10,116 --> 00:06:12,Oh. Good afternoon.
York. Edward York.
00:06:12,200 --> 00:06:15,- Address?
- 24 Passiondale Avenue.
00:06:17,040 --> 00:06:19,- Age?
- 35.
00:06:19,040 --> 00:06:21,- Occupation?
- News... paper reporter.
00:06:21,240 --> 00:06:24,- Relax.
- I was covering the baby show.
00:06:24,240 --> 00:06:26,- Next of kin?
- No.
00:06:26,160 --> 00:06:27,Religion?
00:06:28,000 --> 00:06:30,Which lot has the best
record of recovery?
00:06:31,080 --> 00:06:33,I'm very busy. Come
along, now. C of E?
00:06:33,120 --> 00:06:35,- False teeth?
- No.
00:06:35,120 --> 00:06:36,- Glass eye?
- No.
00:06:36,240 --> 00:06:39,And before you go any further,
the rest of me is my own.
00:06:39,160 --> 00:06:42,Sign, please. Consent for
general anaesthetic.
00:06:42,080 --> 00:06:44,- Ooh.
- Relax.
00:06:51,200 --> 00:06:54,- Hello. I'm Mick.
- Hi, Mick.
00:06:55,120 --> 00:06:58,- What's her trouble?
- Oh, night starvation.
00:07:00,040 --> 00:07:02,- Going to shave you.
- Shave?
00:07:02,080 --> 00:07:04,My appendix isn't on my face.
00:07:05,080 --> 00:07:07,I'm not going to shave your face.
00:07:34,160 --> 00:07:37,- Yes, Colonel?
- I'm all crumby.
00:07:37,240 --> 00:07:41,If you will stuff yourself
with those crumbly biscuits...
00:07:41,080 --> 00:07:43,Well, I have to have
some pleasure, d***n it.
00:07:43,120 --> 00:07:45,Hop out and I'll take
the crumbs away.
00:07:45,080 --> 00:07:48,- Where's that fella Mick g***t to?
- He's doing something for Sister.
00:07:49,040 --> 00:07:50,Can I help?
00:07:50,120 --> 00:07:53,Not unless you know what won
the 4:15 at Redcar, you can't.
00:07:53,080 --> 00:07:55,Oh, you and your racing.
All right, get in.
00:07:55,359 --> 00:07:56,Thank you.
00:08:00,120 --> 00:08:02,Oh, I wish you wouldn't
eat those biscuits.
00:08:02,120 --> 00:08:05,I eat biscuits, my girl,
to calm my nerves.
00:08:06,120 --> 00:08:08,Rambler won it. 3-1.
00:08:08,120 --> 00:08:10,- Comfy now?
- Yes.
00:08:10,120 --> 00:08:12,Rambler, do you say?
00:08:12,120 --> 00:08:15,Hoo-hoo. Ha-ha-ha.
Good old Rambler.
00:08:15,080 --> 00:08:17,Oh, we'll have a new one now.
00:08:23,080 --> 00:08:25,- Ooph.
- I warned you.
00:08:25,080 --> 00:08:27,Thank you.
00:08:27,120 --> 00:08:28,Sister...
00:08:28,169 --> 00:08:30,I'm not a sister,
I'm a staff nurse.
00:08:30,120 --> 00:08:32,Oh? How do I tell the difference?
00:08:32,160 --> 00:08:35,Student nurses wear big hats.
We call them butterflies.
00:08:35,120 --> 00:08:37,- You call them what?
- Butterflies.
00:08:37,040 --> 00:08:38,- Ah, I like that.
- They don't.
00:08:38,240 --> 00:08:41,And staff nurses
wear these. G***t it?
00:08:41,040 --> 00:08:43,Yes. I think you're wonderful.
00:08:43,120 --> 00:08:45,Relax, Mr York.
00:08:49,120 --> 00:08:51,Oh.
00:08:51,160 --> 00:08:55,Nurse Dawson. Is it your
intention to wreck my ward?
00:09:01,240 --> 00:09:04,- Who are you?
- I'm a nurse.
00:09:04,040 --> 00:09:06,You're in hospital,
but you're all right.
00:09:08,080 --> 00:09:11,- Let's have a beer.
- You can't have a beer, Mr York.
00:09:12,200 --> 00:09:15,She'll give me a beer. I'll go...
00:09:15,200 --> 00:09:16,Cor.
00:09:17,160 --> 00:09:18,Somebody stabbed me.
00:09:18,222 --> 00:09:20,Lie still, you've
g***t a drain in you.
00:09:22,120 --> 00:09:26,Now that you've made my
bed... you can lie on it.
00:09:27,120 --> 00:09:29,Why, Mr York.
00:09:34,240 --> 00:09:36,Mr York.
00:09:37,000 --> 00:09:38,Oh, I'm sorry, Staff. I was just
00:09:38,370 --> 00:09:40,trying to get Mr
York to settle down.
00:09:40,120 --> 00:09:42,- For life?
- Lovely.
00:09:46,200 --> 00:09:48,When you're on night
duty, nurse, always
00:09:48,539 --> 00:09:50,carry a couple of
sleeping pills with you.
00:09:51,040 --> 00:09:53,There isn't always time
to go and fetch them.
00:09:53,240 --> 00:09:55,Yes, Staff. Thank you.
00:09:55,240 --> 00:09:58,Buck up, there's another
patient coming in....
front of Dasher and Boy Blue.
00:02:11,160 --> 00:02:12,But the favourite,
Red Dice, is now
00:02:12,655 --> 00:02:14,lengths behind. He's
right out of it.
00:02:14,240 --> 00:02:16,Inside the last furlong,
and Dasher's taken
00:02:16,392 --> 00:02:18,it up. Moving through
very smoothly.
00:02:18,240 --> 00:02:20,Silver Maid hanging on
to second place. And
00:02:20,688 --> 00:02:23,at the post, it's Dasher
from Silver Maid...
00:02:35,120 --> 00:02:36,Well, did it win?
00:02:36,240 --> 00:02:39,That nag should be going
into hospital, not you.
00:02:39,080 --> 00:02:41,Bad luck. I wonder who
won the baby stakes.
00:02:43,040 --> 00:02:44,Oh.
00:02:44,080 --> 00:02:46,Supposing I'd been on it.
00:02:53,240 --> 00:02:55,Ah. Where do I go?
00:02:55,080 --> 00:02:58,- Hey. I can walk, you know.
- Nobody walks in here.
00:02:58,200 --> 00:03:01,- Any chance of walking out?
- We've g***t to do the job proper.
00:03:27,000 --> 00:03:29,- Over here, Mr York.
- Right, nurse.
00:03:29,120 --> 00:03:30,Thanks for the ride, boys.
00:03:30,464 --> 00:03:32,Give us a write-up in the papers.
00:03:34,200 --> 00:03:35,Will you get into bed, please?
00:03:35,834 --> 00:03:38,I... didn't have time
to get my pyjamas.
00:03:38,120 --> 00:03:40,Oh, that's all right. You
won't need any just now.
00:03:45,040 --> 00:03:46,Thanks.
00:03:46,240 --> 00:03:50,- What's he g***t, then, Mick?
- Appendicitis.
00:03:50,120 --> 00:03:51,Ten days' job.
00:03:52,040 --> 00:03:54,Cor blimey. Only ten days.
00:03:55,120 --> 00:03:57,When I think how easily
that could have been
00:03:57,210 --> 00:03:59,avoided, I could kick
myself, I tell you.
00:03:59,200 --> 00:04:01,Did you hear what I said then?
00:04:01,200 --> 00:04:03,I said I could kick myself.
00:04:03,200 --> 00:04:05,Kick myself, with that on, I said.
00:04:05,200 --> 00:04:09,I think that's very funny,
Mick. Don't you, Mick?
00:04:11,120 --> 00:04:13,- Hello, Mick.
- Hello, Mr Able.
00:04:21,160 --> 00:04:24,- There you are.
- What's that? A shroud?
00:04:24,120 --> 00:04:26,No, an operating gown.
00:04:39,160 --> 00:04:40,Your turn.
00:04:43,120 --> 00:04:44,Yes, Colonel?
00:04:44,240 --> 00:04:48,I want to see that ward
orderly chap - Mick.
00:04:48,080 --> 00:04:51,You can't. It's our job to
answer the buzzer, not his.
00:04:51,160 --> 00:04:53,You've only been here
half a day and you've
00:04:53,198 --> 00:04:55,called us a dozen times
for no good reason.
00:04:55,240 --> 00:04:59,Now, do try and remember the
buzzer's only for emergencies.
00:04:59,080 --> 00:05:01,- This is an emergency.
- What kind of an emergency?
00:05:01,240 --> 00:05:03,Every time Mick comes
in here, he stays too
00:05:03,515 --> 00:05:05,long. I don't know what
you find to talk about.
00:05:06,040 --> 00:05:08,I dare say you don't.
There's some things we men
00:05:08,124 --> 00:05:10,talk about it's better
for women not to know.
00:05:10,120 --> 00:05:11,I can imagine that.
00:05:11,196 --> 00:05:13,I doubt it, young
lady. I doubt it.
00:05:13,240 --> 00:05:15,Well, what do you want him for?
00:05:15,120 --> 00:05:17,What can he do for you that
I can't? Tell me that.
00:05:17,200 --> 00:05:19,Ho-ho-ho. Don't tempt
me, girl. Just
00:05:19,057 --> 00:05:21,tell Mick I want him,
would you, please?
00:05:21,160 --> 00:05:23,All right. Just this once.
00:05:30,000 --> 00:05:32,Ah, Mick, my boy. That's
right, shut the door.
00:05:32,240 --> 00:05:34,Now then, dictation.
G***t your notebook?
00:05:34,982 --> 00:05:35,Yes, sir.
00:05:36,080 --> 00:05:38,Good. Here we are, then.
00:05:38,080 --> 00:05:40,Bob each way, the Black Prince.
00:05:40,200 --> 00:05:42,That's the 3:30 at Chepstow.
00:05:42,200 --> 00:05:45,Black Prince, 3:30 at Chepstow.
00:05:45,200 --> 00:05:48,Half a dollar to win, Rambler.
00:05:48,120 --> 00:05:50,R-A-M-B-L-E-R.
00:05:50,120 --> 00:05:53,Now that's the 4:15 at Redcar.
00:05:53,040 --> 00:05:55,4:15, Redcar.
00:05:55,080 --> 00:05:57,- That's all, I think.
- Right, Colonel.
00:05:57,160 --> 00:05:58,Well, you just settle down,
00:05:58,797 --> 00:06:01,Colonel. I'll wait
for the results.
00:06:01,040 --> 00:06:03,Oh, get me 20 Player's,
would you, please?
00:06:03,285 --> 00:06:04,Yes, sir.
00:06:04,333 --> 00:06:06,Don't bother about that.
00:06:09,000 --> 00:06:10,Good afternoon. Name?
00:06:10,116 --> 00:06:12,Oh. Good afternoon.
York. Edward York.
00:06:12,200 --> 00:06:15,- Address?
- 24 Passiondale Avenue.
00:06:17,040 --> 00:06:19,- Age?
- 35.
00:06:19,040 --> 00:06:21,- Occupation?
- News... paper reporter.
00:06:21,240 --> 00:06:24,- Relax.
- I was covering the baby show.
00:06:24,240 --> 00:06:26,- Next of kin?
- No.
00:06:26,160 --> 00:06:27,Religion?
00:06:28,000 --> 00:06:30,Which lot has the best
record of recovery?
00:06:31,080 --> 00:06:33,I'm very busy. Come
along, now. C of E?
00:06:33,120 --> 00:06:35,- False teeth?
- No.
00:06:35,120 --> 00:06:36,- Glass eye?
- No.
00:06:36,240 --> 00:06:39,And before you go any further,
the rest of me is my own.
00:06:39,160 --> 00:06:42,Sign, please. Consent for
general anaesthetic.
00:06:42,080 --> 00:06:44,- Ooh.
- Relax.
00:06:51,200 --> 00:06:54,- Hello. I'm Mick.
- Hi, Mick.
00:06:55,120 --> 00:06:58,- What's her trouble?
- Oh, night starvation.
00:07:00,040 --> 00:07:02,- Going to shave you.
- Shave?
00:07:02,080 --> 00:07:04,My appendix isn't on my face.
00:07:05,080 --> 00:07:07,I'm not going to shave your face.
00:07:34,160 --> 00:07:37,- Yes, Colonel?
- I'm all crumby.
00:07:37,240 --> 00:07:41,If you will stuff yourself
with those crumbly biscuits...
00:07:41,080 --> 00:07:43,Well, I have to have
some pleasure, d***n it.
00:07:43,120 --> 00:07:45,Hop out and I'll take
the crumbs away.
00:07:45,080 --> 00:07:48,- Where's that fella Mick g***t to?
- He's doing something for Sister.
00:07:49,040 --> 00:07:50,Can I help?
00:07:50,120 --> 00:07:53,Not unless you know what won
the 4:15 at Redcar, you can't.
00:07:53,080 --> 00:07:55,Oh, you and your racing.
All right, get in.
00:07:55,359 --> 00:07:56,Thank you.
00:08:00,120 --> 00:08:02,Oh, I wish you wouldn't
eat those biscuits.
00:08:02,120 --> 00:08:05,I eat biscuits, my girl,
to calm my nerves.
00:08:06,120 --> 00:08:08,Rambler won it. 3-1.
00:08:08,120 --> 00:08:10,- Comfy now?
- Yes.
00:08:10,120 --> 00:08:12,Rambler, do you say?
00:08:12,120 --> 00:08:15,Hoo-hoo. Ha-ha-ha.
Good old Rambler.
00:08:15,080 --> 00:08:17,Oh, we'll have a new one now.
00:08:23,080 --> 00:08:25,- Ooph.
- I warned you.
00:08:25,080 --> 00:08:27,Thank you.
00:08:27,120 --> 00:08:28,Sister...
00:08:28,169 --> 00:08:30,I'm not a sister,
I'm a staff nurse.
00:08:30,120 --> 00:08:32,Oh? How do I tell the difference?
00:08:32,160 --> 00:08:35,Student nurses wear big hats.
We call them butterflies.
00:08:35,120 --> 00:08:37,- You call them what?
- Butterflies.
00:08:37,040 --> 00:08:38,- Ah, I like that.
- They don't.
00:08:38,240 --> 00:08:41,And staff nurses
wear these. G***t it?
00:08:41,040 --> 00:08:43,Yes. I think you're wonderful.
00:08:43,120 --> 00:08:45,Relax, Mr York.
00:08:49,120 --> 00:08:51,Oh.
00:08:51,160 --> 00:08:55,Nurse Dawson. Is it your
intention to wreck my ward?
00:09:01,240 --> 00:09:04,- Who are you?
- I'm a nurse.
00:09:04,040 --> 00:09:06,You're in hospital,
but you're all right.
00:09:08,080 --> 00:09:11,- Let's have a beer.
- You can't have a beer, Mr York.
00:09:12,200 --> 00:09:15,She'll give me a beer. I'll go...
00:09:15,200 --> 00:09:16,Cor.
00:09:17,160 --> 00:09:18,Somebody stabbed me.
00:09:18,222 --> 00:09:20,Lie still, you've
g***t a drain in you.
00:09:22,120 --> 00:09:26,Now that you've made my
bed... you can lie on it.
00:09:27,120 --> 00:09:29,Why, Mr York.
00:09:34,240 --> 00:09:36,Mr York.
00:09:37,000 --> 00:09:38,Oh, I'm sorry, Staff. I was just
00:09:38,370 --> 00:09:40,trying to get Mr
York to settle down.
00:09:40,120 --> 00:09:42,- For life?
- Lovely.
00:09:46,200 --> 00:09:48,When you're on night
duty, nurse, always
00:09:48,539 --> 00:09:50,carry a couple of
sleeping pills with you.
00:09:51,040 --> 00:09:53,There isn't always time
to go and fetch them.
00:09:53,240 --> 00:09:55,Yes, Staff. Thank you.
00:09:55,240 --> 00:09:58,Buck up, there's another
patient coming in....
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