The Family Law s02e04 The Family Kerr.eng Subtitles

00:00:01,520 --> 00:00:03,Chinese weddings are insane.

00:00:03,920 --> 00:00:06,You're obliged to invite
heaps of people you barely know,

00:00:06,880 --> 00:00:08,and if you forget someone,

00:00:08,520 --> 00:00:11,it's a massive scandal
and they totally hold a grudge.

00:00:11,280 --> 00:00:12,And if you don't serve enough food

00:00:13,160 --> 00:00:15,or skimp on the budget
or wear something controversial,

00:00:16,040 --> 00:00:18,everyone complains,
your family's disgraced

00:00:18,240 --> 00:00:20,and you never live it down.

00:00:21,680 --> 00:00:23,Chinese weddings are the best!

00:00:28,280 --> 00:00:29,Knock-knock.

00:00:30,320 --> 00:00:33,What's all this?
Haven't we finalised decorations?

00:00:33,840 --> 00:00:35,Yeah, but... look!

00:00:37,320 --> 00:00:40,Do you like it? I g***t the idea
from 'Raise the Red Lantern'.

00:00:40,440 --> 00:00:43,That film where all the concubines
go crazy and kill themselves?

00:00:43,440 --> 00:00:45,Yeah, but the styling!

00:00:46,280 --> 00:00:48,You know they'll look amazing.
Trust me.

00:00:49,440 --> 00:00:50,We do.

00:00:50,738 --> 00:00:52,Which is kind of why we're here.

00:00:53,560 --> 00:00:55,As you know, Wayne and I

00:00:55,370 --> 00:00:57,decided not to do
the whole bridal party thing.

00:00:58,200 --> 00:01:00,It just buys into the stupid
paradigms of gender binary.

00:01:01,040 --> 00:01:02,Totally.

00:01:02,200 --> 00:01:04,But then,
I couldn't sleep last night.

00:01:04,720 --> 00:01:07,- I was tossing and turning...
- Mainly tossing.

00:01:07,440 --> 00:01:11,..and realised you can't
throw all tradition out the door.

00:01:11,840 --> 00:01:15,So, this is
totally last minute but...

00:01:15,640 --> 00:01:19,Ben...
would you be our man of honour?

00:01:19,440 --> 00:01:21,[heavenly choir]

00:01:21,600 --> 00:01:22,I do.

00:01:26,013 --> 00:01:28,Synced by louvette
www.addicted.com

00:01:30,680 --> 00:01:31,Speed it up, people!

00:01:31,880 --> 00:01:33,Wayne's parents
will be here any second.

00:01:33,394 --> 00:01:35,First impressions
have to be perfect.

00:01:38,280 --> 00:01:39,You okay?

00:01:39,680 --> 00:01:42,Oh, sure. One Nation heartland
about to walk through my front door.

00:01:42,865 --> 00:01:44,What could go wrong?

00:01:44,880 --> 00:01:47,- What is this?
- It looks like dog food.

00:01:47,880 --> 00:01:50,It's white people food.
It's supposed to look like this.

00:01:54,680 --> 00:01:56,I'll get it!

00:02:01,440 --> 00:02:04,It's so good to finally meet you.

00:02:04,520 --> 00:02:08,And look at your eyebrows!
They're so thick and powerful.

00:02:08,640 --> 00:02:10,Just like your dad's.

00:02:11,680 --> 00:02:12,Mum!

00:02:15,800 --> 00:02:18,G'day, g'day! Welcome to
the beautiful Sunshine Co...

00:02:18,944 --> 00:02:20,_

00:02:21,280 --> 00:02:22,Hello, hello.

00:02:24,309 --> 00:02:26,'Ni hao, ni hao.'

00:02:26,998 --> 00:02:28,_

00:02:29,022 --> 00:02:31,_

00:02:32,200 --> 00:02:34,Welcome to our home.

00:02:34,400 --> 00:02:37,Danny warn me today,
"Ming-Zhu, don't come."

00:02:38,040 --> 00:02:41,But I say,
the sooner your family meet me,

00:02:42,160 --> 00:02:44,the sooner they will like me.

00:02:44,600 --> 00:02:46,She's very persuasive.

00:02:47,575 --> 00:02:49,_

00:02:49,600 --> 00:02:50,We're here!

00:02:53,360 --> 00:02:55,Come on!
Get involved.

00:02:59,200 --> 00:03:00,Mum, Dad...

00:03:01,040 --> 00:03:03,Meet your in-laws.
Your Law-in-Laws.

00:03:03,720 --> 00:03:05,Which one's Gary?

00:03:05,403 --> 00:03:07,Oh, pleased to meet you!

00:03:07,433 --> 00:03:09,Wayne says many nice things about you.

00:03:09,680 --> 00:03:11,[gravelly voice] G'day. Lorraine.

00:03:11,480 --> 00:03:13,And I'm Ming-Zhu.

00:03:13,400 --> 00:03:16,I'm Danny's new girlfriend.
He trade up.

00:03:18,400 --> 00:03:21,And I ** fair dinkum Aussie Jenny-mum!

00:03:22,436 --> 00:03:24,Where Candy g***t
her good looks and skin.

00:03:25,280 --> 00:03:28,My secret? Three layers of
moisturiser every night.

00:03:28,760 --> 00:03:30,Also, be Asian!

00:03:33,040 --> 00:03:36,You know, some of my best friends
are white people.

00:03:37,520 --> 00:03:40,Oh, and I love white people music.

00:03:40,480 --> 00:03:42,Delta Goodrem, Kylie Minogue...

00:03:43,160 --> 00:03:45,- Oh, I love Kyles!
- ...Little River Band.

00:03:50,680 --> 00:03:53,I just love the decor.

00:03:53,400 --> 00:03:55,Don't we, Lorraine?
I mean, look at this.

00:03:56,000 --> 00:03:58,We've g***t a whole collection
of these at home.

00:03:58,560 --> 00:04:00,He loves
to collect stuff.

00:04:00,920 --> 00:04:04,Oh, well, we love our country,
just like you do.

00:04:04,600 --> 00:04:06,- Aussie-Aussie-Aussie!
- Oi-oi-oi!

00:04:13,200 --> 00:04:16,So, Wayne tells us
that you own your own business.

00:04:16,320 --> 00:04:18,The longest-running florist in Mt Isa.

00:04:18,343 --> 00:04:22,And not just bouquets, but ikebana
and twig arrangements too.

00:04:22,520 --> 00:04:25,People think it's easy,
but you really need a strong grip

00:04:25,785 --> 00:04:27,to get your hands
around those faggots.

00:04:29,480 --> 00:04:33,Well... everyone loves flowers.
Did you work there too, Lorraine?

00:04:33,440 --> 00:04:37,No. Pest control.
You mean cockroaches and spiders?

00:04:37,320 --> 00:04:40,More like possums,
cats, feral pigs.

00:04:41,240 --> 00:04:42,How do you
get rid of pigs?

00:04:43,240 --> 00:04:45,Twelve-gauge shotgun.
Right between the eyes.

00:04:52,680 --> 00:04:54,I also have
my own business.

00:04:55,040 --> 00:04:58,Asian groceries. Very high-class.

00:05:00,720 --> 00:05:01,Tam?

00:05:04,600 --> 00:05:07,- Dress...
- Who wants to hear about the dress?

00:05:07,320 --> 00:05:10,I've never understood
the big deal about wedding dresses.

00:05:10,440 --> 00:05:14,You only get to dress up once.
Tell us all about it.

00:05:14,440 --> 00:05:16,You're going to love it, Gary.

00:05:16,104 --> 00:05:18,We're giving a traditional style
a modern twist.

00:05:18,320 --> 00:05:20,We've based it off
old-school Chinese dresses

00:05:20,400 --> 00:05:21,and sent them to Guangdong,
where Dad was born,

00:05:21,997 --> 00:05:23,so it's super traditional.

00:05:23,480 --> 00:05:27,Plus the labour is super cheap.
And we're getting it made in red!

00:05:28,520 --> 00:05:31,Red? Is that a bit... risque?

00:05:31,560 --> 00:05:33,It's the Chinese traditional colour
for good luck.

00:05:34,240 --> 00:05:36,It's also the colour
when you slit a pig's throat.

00:05:39,347 --> 00:05:42,_

00:05:43,120 --> 00:05:44,Excuse me, everyone!

00:05:51,795 --> 00:05:53,No wonder Wayne moved away.

00:05:53,980 --> 00:05:56,That woman has one sour p***y.

00:05:57,040 --> 00:06:00,His dad is... interesting.

00:06:00,640 --> 00:06:03,"White dress, white dress!"
Why is white always best?

00:06:03,760 --> 00:06:07,I think for 'gweilo', it represents,
you know... virginity.

00:06:08,200 --> 00:06:11,Jenny... It's so
good to see you laughing.

00:06:12,000 --> 00:06:15,And you say
she only nag, nag, nag.

00:06:24,880 --> 00:06:27,Lorraine, you should come to
our pre-wedding mani-pedi tomorrow.

00:06:27,895 --> 00:06:29,You'd love it.

00:06:29,440 --> 00:06:33,No. A good soak and some Eulactol
is all these puppies need.

00:06:36,440 --> 00:06:37,Everyone...

00:06:39,600 --> 00:06:41,We've g***t an announcement to make.

00:06:43,080 --> 00:06:45,Your mum and I
have g***t you something.

00:06:45,200 --> 00:06:47,We were originally going
to save it for your big day,

00:06:47,345 --> 00:06:50,but then I thought it'd be better
to surprise you with it now.

00:06:51,608 --> 00:06:56,Your mum and I have been putting
aside money, and after months...

00:06:56,025 --> 00:06:58,We've bought you a property.

00:07:02,611 --> 00:07:04,It's just down the road
from our place!

00:07:07,000 --> 00:07:08,You guys...

00:07:13,133 --> 00:07:15,Mt Isa?
They may as well move to North Korea.

00:07:16,360 --> 00:07:18,Ai-ya, Gar-jer's not going anywhere.

00:07:18,600 --> 00:07:20,But Gary and Lorraine
spent all that money.

00:07:20,680 --> 00:07:22,Hello? Get a refund!

00:07:22,640 --> 00:07:26,Everything's here. Your Gar-Jer's
university, Wayne's business...

00:07:26,640 --> 00:07:29,And us. It does sound
like a bit of a hole.

00:07:29,440 --> 00:07:31,Yes... hell-hole.

00:07:31,480 --> 00:07:32,I'm back!

00:07:33,200 --> 00:07:35,It took me ages to check
Gary and...