Captain Butler s01e03 Desert Island D***k.eng Subtitles

00:00:02,119 --> 00:00:03,Avast, Miyagi!

00:00:07,100 --> 00:00:10,Calm down, now, lads. Calm down, fellas.
Porus coming up. Here we go.

00:00:10,841 --> 00:00:12,Rigging in the rigging

00:00:12,040 --> 00:00:19,carton.

00:00:19,520 --> 00:00:20,Sir, I thought it was the boat.

00:00:21,280 --> 00:00:22,Not now, Master Rotter.

00:00:23,320 --> 00:00:25,Is our captain, Porus, coming up again?

00:00:31,380 --> 00:00:32,Wallets.

00:00:34,020 --> 00:00:35,There, that's it.

00:00:36,320 --> 00:00:38,It's just empty sea, lads.

00:00:38,380 --> 00:00:43,A huge match of lifeless water that
rises and falls and takes us nowhere.

00:00:44,140 --> 00:00:49,All we do is bob about aimlessly like
lost souls going down the plughole of

00:00:49,600 --> 00:00:51,and ever decreasing circles.

00:00:51,260 --> 00:00:55,Are you feeling all right, Captain?
Yeah, yeah, I'm fine, Bolton. Just a

00:00:55,760 --> 00:00:57,forlorn, a bit lost.

00:00:57,001 --> 00:01:00,Somewhat broken. Oh, Captain, don't be
depressed.

00:01:00,040 --> 00:01:01,Why do you have so much going for you?

00:01:01,380 --> 00:01:02,That's right, sir, you have.

00:01:02,740 --> 00:01:04,You've g***t an awful lot going for you.

00:01:04,599 --> 00:01:09,Aye, Captain, he's right. You've g***t
plenty of good things going for you. Do

00:01:09,200 --> 00:01:10,want to come in here a deal?

00:01:11,480 --> 00:01:13,You've g***t the bags of stuff going for
you.

00:01:14,080 --> 00:01:16,Yeah, yeah. Don't worry about me, lads.
I'll snap out of it.

00:01:17,400 --> 00:01:21,Sometimes a man gets to thinking, why **
I here? Where ** I going?

00:01:21,360 --> 00:01:22,What's it all about?

00:01:22,920 --> 00:01:24,Life, Captain, is about loving.

00:01:25,840 --> 00:01:26,Being loved.

00:01:27,180 --> 00:01:28,I mean, someone to love.

00:01:28,641 --> 00:01:32,Yeah, yeah, Bosun, I suppose you're
right. Take a look at this, Captain.

00:01:32,440 --> 00:01:37,That's me and the wife on holiday in
Cockermouth, back in the 60s.

00:01:37,460 --> 00:01:43,Very nice, Bosun. Now, this here, this
is us on our wedding day.

00:01:43,420 --> 00:01:44,Oh, how delightful.

00:01:45,340 --> 00:01:46,Hey, pretty little church.

00:01:46,940 --> 00:01:48,Aye, 15th century.

00:01:49,340 --> 00:01:54,And over here is Jill and Bob, our next
-door neighbours.

00:01:54,740 --> 00:01:56,Oh, my God.

00:01:57,480 --> 00:02:01,Bob nipped round while the tattooist was
still there.

00:02:02,440 --> 00:02:05,What's this big one stretching across
your back, Bosun?

00:02:05,620 --> 00:02:08,Oh, that, Captain, that's me old -school
picture.

00:02:09,039 --> 00:02:10,That's me top left -hand corner.

00:02:11,560 --> 00:02:12,So it is.

00:02:12,900 --> 00:02:15,Is that your top right -hand corner as
well, Bosun?

00:02:16,000 --> 00:02:17,Aye, Captain, g***t in twice.

00:02:17,940 --> 00:02:20,Nipped round the back while he was still
doing it.

00:02:22,560 --> 00:02:26,Loving Captain, being loved, surrounded
by your loved ones.

00:02:27,070 --> 00:02:28,That's what life's about.

00:02:28,810 --> 00:02:33,Yeah, I suppose you're right. I wouldn't
want to be like you if you don't mind

00:02:33,130 --> 00:02:35,me saying a bachelor.

00:02:36,490 --> 00:02:37,No, very wise.

00:02:38,510 --> 00:02:39,Let's face it.

00:02:40,170 --> 00:02:42,Who's going to clean your a***s when
you're 18?

00:02:44,370 --> 00:02:45,Not me.

00:02:45,670 --> 00:02:47,Well, it's like Christ, isn't it?

00:02:49,010 --> 00:02:50,What?

00:02:50,490 --> 00:02:51,He's in a reef!

00:02:54,130 --> 00:02:55,Is everybody all right?

00:02:55,839 --> 00:02:57,Master Roger. Yes, Lieutenant.

00:02:57,460 --> 00:02:59,He managed to hang on to a piece of
floating debris.

00:03:00,460 --> 00:03:01,Where'd Sir go? I don't know.

00:03:02,260 --> 00:03:03,I think he went under.

00:03:03,311 --> 00:03:06,He was next to me one minute, and when I
turned round, he'd gone.

00:03:06,900 --> 00:03:07,Oh, no.

00:03:07,520 --> 00:03:09,Do you think he might not have?

00:03:09,780 --> 00:03:12,Sir, are you all right? Come on.

00:03:12,700 --> 00:03:13,Come on. Come on. Come on.

00:03:14,420 --> 00:03:18,That was incredible.

00:03:18,880 --> 00:03:19,My pleasure, Captain.

00:03:20,140 --> 00:03:23,No. I was drowning.

00:03:24,440 --> 00:03:25,I went under for the third time.

00:03:26,730 --> 00:03:31,All of a sudden, this beautiful fish
-type creature tied me in her arms to

00:03:31,590 --> 00:03:33,safety. You mean a mermaid, Captain?

00:03:33,470 --> 00:03:36,Didn't think you believed in mermaids,
Captain.

00:03:36,031 --> 00:03:39,Well, you tend to reconsider these
issues when you've g***t a huge pair of

00:03:39,070 --> 00:03:40,breasts slapping around your face.

00:03:41,690 --> 00:03:43,Captain, you ought to be careful.

00:03:43,770 --> 00:03:47,They say that when a man is saved by a
mermaid...

00:03:48,910 --> 00:03:52,She weaves a spell of love over him from
which he can never recover.

00:03:52,730 --> 00:03:54,Aye. They say that, do they? Aye.

00:03:54,411 --> 00:03:58,Well, fair enough, because this girl had
everything, like blonde hair, blue

00:03:58,070 --> 00:03:59,eyes, massive... Captain!

00:03:59,990 --> 00:04:03,Check up the island in the morning.
Right you are, Cliff.

00:04:04,110 --> 00:04:05,Right. Grab what you can, lads.

00:04:10,390 --> 00:04:11,Captain! Captain!

00:04:13,290 --> 00:04:14,Captain!

00:04:15,190 --> 00:04:16,I've just checked out the boat.

00:04:16,691 --> 00:04:20,She's holed up on the reef for now, but
I don't know how long she'll last.

00:04:20,399 --> 00:04:22,Right, can we, um, can we repair her?

00:04:22,660 --> 00:04:26,Ooh, the hull's a bit dented, the
rudder's shocked a bit.

00:04:26,281 --> 00:04:28,Right, so what are we looking at?

00:04:28,080 --> 00:04:31,Well, let's see now. New sails, bit of
welding right hand passenger side.

00:04:32,620 --> 00:04:34,Could be a day, could be a week.

00:04:35,380 --> 00:04:36,Oh, d***n.

00:04:36,900 --> 00:04:39,Depends how long it takes to get the
spares.

00:04:40,540 --> 00:04:43,Still, that's what happens when you take
over an old boat.

00:04:43,520 --> 00:04:44,Catherine, look.

00:04:45,150 --> 00:04:47,There's an old man standing on the
horizon.

00:04:48,210 --> 00:04:50,All right, Roger, help Bosun start
repairing the boat.

00:04:51,030 --> 00:04:53,Me, Cliff, Ad, let's go and wrecky the
island.

00:04:58,110 --> 00:05:00,Then I know this song. May I? Yeah, take
over.

00:05:18,700 --> 00:05:19,What's he saying?

00:05:20,160 --> 00:05:21,I don't know, Captain.

00:05:23,760 --> 00:05:25,Get back to the boat, you knob.

00:05:25,880 --> 00:05:30,Captain, my dialect's a bit rusty, but
I'm sure I can translate.

00:05:30,240 --> 00:05:33,Now, leave it to me, Cliff. I speak the
international language of mine.

00:05:34,580 --> 00:05:36,Hello, old man.

00:05:36,830 --> 00:05:37,We are travellers.

00:05:38,070 --> 00:05:44,We come here on mighty ship, guided by
the wind and the stars.

00:05:45,650 --> 00:05:49,He says you are welcome, Captain.

00:05:50,130 --> 00:05:56,We come to the East as equal partners to
share the joy

00:05:56,690 --> 00:05:59,of world friendship.

00:06:01,430 --> 00:06:05,He says about half past ten, Captain.

00:06:11,850 --> 00:06:14,Welcome to our magical island, stranger.

00:06:14,890 --> 00:06:16,Thank you, sweet maiden.

00:06:16,490 --> 00:06:20,Your words are like two conch shells
bringing sea music to my ears.

00:06:20,730 --> 00:06:22,Have you traveled here from far off
land?

00:06:23,010 --> 00:06:27,Oh, verily, sweet water maiden, like the
conger eel, we travel great distances.

00:06:27,310 --> 00:06:29,And will you be staying on our island
long?

00:06:29,570 --> 00:06:30,Oh, yes.

00:06:30,650 --> 00:06:33,Till day meets night and night follows
day.

00:06:33,450 --> 00:06:37,Clifton! Repair back to our rude camp
and settle whilst I tarry hither with

00:06:37,640 --> 00:06:38,piskeen love goddess.

00:06:38,700 --> 00:06:39,I beg your pardon?

00:06:39,760 --> 00:06:41,Just bugger off, will you?

00:06:42,580 --> 00:06:45,What is your name, peculiar half -fish
princess?

00:06:46,300 --> 00:06:48,I have a special mermaid name.

00:06:48,540 --> 00:06:50,Very difficult for you to say.

00:06:50,460 --> 00:06:53,It is like Trey C.

00:06:59,480 --> 00:07:02,Tracy? I think I can manage that.

00:07:02,340 --> 00:07:03,In my language.

00:07:03,880 --> 00:07:05,This means...