Chance In A Million s01e05 Man Of Iron.eng Subtitles

00:00:02,440 --> 00:00:04,Here I go again.

00:00:04,720 --> 00:00:07,I hear the trumpet blow again.

00:00:08,680 --> 00:00:11,Oh, what a blow again.

00:00:11,740 --> 00:00:14,Taking a chance on love.

00:00:15,640 --> 00:00:18,Here I slide again.

00:00:18,920 --> 00:00:22,About to take that ride again.

00:00:23,580 --> 00:00:25,Darby, I'm again.

00:00:25,940 --> 00:00:29,Taking, taking a chance on love.

00:00:41,651 --> 00:00:43,Nice to meet you.

00:00:43,640 --> 00:00:44,Feeling all right?

00:00:44,560 --> 00:00:46,Um, drop stick.

00:00:46,420 --> 00:00:47,Drop.

00:00:47,600 --> 00:00:48,Good boy.

00:01:23,641 --> 00:01:25,Yourself, Anna.

00:01:25,730 --> 00:01:28,Well, it's the sphere streak of
independence I have.

00:01:29,410 --> 00:01:33,Not criticising you for it. Always
admired you for that, you know, but... I

00:01:33,750 --> 00:01:35,one of those little pluggy things.

00:01:36,310 --> 00:01:37,Ah, good, good.

00:01:42,750 --> 00:01:43,Heavier than I thought.

00:01:43,891 --> 00:01:47,Ah, yes, well, that could be the sand.
One of the workmen filled it up for me.

00:01:47,450 --> 00:01:51,He only had wet sand, though. He said
when it dries out, I'll be able to lift

00:01:51,010 --> 00:01:53,down and put it somewhere when I'm not
using it. Ah.

00:01:55,589 --> 00:01:57,Yes. Landlord approve of that?

00:01:57,310 --> 00:01:58,Hasn't seen it yet.

00:01:58,361 --> 00:02:00,Thought he was coming round to deal with
your complaints.

00:02:00,850 --> 00:02:03,Oh, he only said he might if he had a
spare moment.

00:02:03,261 --> 00:02:06,I'm not quite good enough, Alison. At
least a dozen things need attention

00:02:06,790 --> 00:02:13,I mean, draft under door, window jammed,
damp patch behind bookshelves,

00:02:13,710 --> 00:02:15,spider in bath.

00:02:16,310 --> 00:02:19,Musical lavatory seats never work
properly.

00:02:19,410 --> 00:02:22,Well, it goes up and down, Tom. That's
the end of the landlord's

00:02:23,910 --> 00:02:27,It's only the last tenant who fixed it
to play the song of the vulgar boatman.

00:02:29,390 --> 00:02:31,All the same, needs proper maintenance.

00:02:31,930 --> 00:02:36,Let me have a word with him. Oh, no,
that's very kind of you, Tom, but, well,

00:02:36,790 --> 00:02:38,the thing is, it's only a cheap flat.

00:02:38,850 --> 00:02:42,If it's a problem with living on my own,
I can't really afford anything else.

00:02:43,430 --> 00:02:47,Difficult, yes. I mean, it'd be
different if I was sharing with someone,

00:02:47,050 --> 00:02:49,course. I wouldn't have the same problem
then.

00:02:49,450 --> 00:02:52,But where does one find someone to share
with? Can you...

00:02:57,450 --> 00:02:58,Not for the moment.

00:02:58,510 --> 00:03:03,Alison, absolutely necessary for both of
us to wait for Cousin Thomas.

00:03:03,990 --> 00:03:07,Cricket match on pitch behind pub.

00:03:07,290 --> 00:03:08,Love to know the score.

00:03:08,391 --> 00:03:09,Oh, who's playing?

00:03:09,670 --> 00:03:13,Junior XI versus team from Glasgow
Remand home.

00:03:14,330 --> 00:03:15,Likely to be a tough match.

00:03:15,890 --> 00:03:18,Right. And I'll fetch Cousin Thomas down
as soon as he arrives.

00:03:19,070 --> 00:03:23,Good, good. And Tom, thanks again for
the punch ball.

00:03:23,330 --> 00:03:25,It was the loveliest birthday present.

00:03:25,651 --> 00:03:26,No, no.

00:03:26,560 --> 00:03:29,Not at all. Not at all. Oh, yes.

00:03:29,771 --> 00:03:31,See

00:03:31,180 --> 00:03:40,you

00:03:40,640 --> 00:03:41,in half an hour.

00:03:43,020 --> 00:03:44,Bye.

00:04:03,440 --> 00:04:04,It's me, your cousin.

00:04:05,140 --> 00:04:09,Tom? Yes, I had a bit of an accident
with some wet cement.

00:04:09,840 --> 00:04:13,I have to keep jumping up and down like
this in case it sets, Doctor.

00:04:15,140 --> 00:04:18,Oh, look at you. Well, you'd better come
inside.

00:04:19,740 --> 00:04:26,I was chased down to a building site by
a dog, then thrown into some

00:04:26,600 --> 00:04:27,wet cement.

00:04:27,560 --> 00:04:28,What, by a dog?

00:04:29,060 --> 00:04:33,No, no, no, by three Irishmen. They took
a... I spent all morning sort of

00:04:33,830 --> 00:04:34,smoothing it out.

00:04:35,070 --> 00:04:36,Oh, you poor thing.

00:04:36,870 --> 00:04:39,You come all the way down from
Hartlepool.

00:04:40,450 --> 00:04:41,I don't know.

00:04:43,130 --> 00:04:47,Well, you can't go to a Cliff Richard
concert looking like that, can you?

00:04:47,730 --> 00:04:49,Come on, I'd better help you out of
these.

00:04:50,830 --> 00:04:53,Have you g***t any spare clothes, little
Thomas?

00:04:53,350 --> 00:04:55,I've g***t a Sue Barker T -shirt.

00:04:55,230 --> 00:04:56,What?

00:04:57,150 --> 00:04:58,It's a swap.

00:04:58,390 --> 00:05:03,You see, last time I was down, I managed
to trade my spare summer holiday LP for

00:05:03,010 --> 00:05:07,a 1963 hardback edition of Cliff, The
Golden Years.

00:05:07,630 --> 00:05:11,This time I g***t my eye out for Hank
Marvin's plectrum.

00:05:12,570 --> 00:05:14,Yes, Thomas, have you g***t any spare
clothes?

00:05:15,970 --> 00:05:19,I've g***t a pair of pyjamas and a fold
-away plastic raincoat.

00:05:26,600 --> 00:05:28,Are you sure that's all right?

00:05:28,101 --> 00:05:31,Well, yes, I think you'd better have a
wash down in the bathroom.

00:05:31,060 --> 00:05:32,Through there.

00:05:33,140 --> 00:05:35,And I'll put these in the sink to soak.

00:05:39,240 --> 00:05:45,Oh, it's working!

00:05:48,440 --> 00:05:52,It's so unfortunate, Tom, especially
after the trouble he had last time he

00:05:52,560 --> 00:05:53,down. The hotel.

00:05:54,200 --> 00:05:55,There we met. Yes.

00:05:55,251 --> 00:05:58,He's kept him so long for questioning,
the only bit of the concert he actually

00:05:59,000 --> 00:06:00,heard was an encore of Bachelor Boy.

00:06:02,220 --> 00:06:03,Awful boy.

00:06:03,420 --> 00:06:06,You see, Tom, we have to remember that
he's a Herbert.

00:06:09,300 --> 00:06:13,Really? Yes, his side of the family are
all Herberts. Mummy was a Herbert before

00:06:13,880 --> 00:06:14,she had a little.

00:06:16,240 --> 00:06:17,A little what?

00:06:17,780 --> 00:06:20,That's her name, Tom, Dory Little.

00:06:20,680 --> 00:06:24,Ah. And you see, we're of the little
side of the family, tend to be

00:06:24,680 --> 00:06:26,go... anywhere, do anything tight, all
like me.

00:06:27,470 --> 00:06:29,Well, the Herbert's are far more
sensitive.

00:06:30,110 --> 00:06:31,Cousin Thomas particularly.

00:06:32,070 --> 00:06:34,I have to tell you, Tom.

00:06:34,910 --> 00:06:40,Well, when he was 17, Auntie found him
in the bathroom with a pair of scissors

00:06:40,170 --> 00:06:41,pointed above his wrist.

00:06:41,890 --> 00:06:42,Any special reason?

00:06:45,070 --> 00:06:47,Well, I think he was going to cut his
nails.

00:06:47,291 --> 00:06:50,But then as soon as he said, of course,
I'd just taken away his tie and

00:06:50,070 --> 00:06:53,shoelaces before he went to bed. I
thought you ought to know.

00:06:53,070 --> 00:06:54,Kid gloves, Alison.

00:06:54,770 --> 00:06:56,Kid gloves. If you wouldn't mind.

00:06:57,710 --> 00:06:58,What this?

00:06:59,350 --> 00:07:02,It's g***t an article on satisfying one's
partner.

00:07:02,191 --> 00:07:06,Served most of the magazines, but
somehow thought it'd be more interesting

00:07:06,470 --> 00:07:07,there than a woman's realm.

00:07:07,890 --> 00:07:08,Yes.

00:07:09,710 --> 00:07:11,Posing pouches.

00:07:11,910 --> 00:07:14,The ethics of padding.

00:07:14,890 --> 00:07:15,Interesting.

00:07:16,670 --> 00:07:17,Ah,

00:07:17,970 --> 00:07:21,what you might like to know, scores for no wickets.

00:07:21,531 --> 00:07:23,Oh, that's good, is it?

00:07:23,130 --> 00:07:25,Not really. Other side's batting.

00:07:27,370 --> 00:07:31,They will rely on these pace bowlers,
don't they?

00:07:31,550 --> 00:07:32,That's really quite a prop.

00:07:37,190 --> 00:07:38,Steady on, there.

00:07:38,550 --> 00:07:39,Steady on.

00:07:39,870 --> 00:07:40,Plenty of room.

00:07:41,090 --> 00:07:42,Time again, Tiger.

00:07:42,490 --> 00:07:43,Talking to you.

00:07:44,730 --> 00:07:45,Oh, yes.

00:07:46,650 --> 00:07:48,And, er, what's up with you, then?

00:07:49,070 --> 00:07:51,Same. Plenty of room. No need to push.
Filled my beer.

00:07:52,420 --> 00:07:54,Oh, so what ** I supposed to do then?

00:07:54,660 --> 00:07:56,Grovel on the floor in apology?

00:07:56,560...