Desmonds s02e02 Hold De Front Page 1 Subtitles

00:00:07,470 --> 00:00:11,From the long hot nights with an ocean
breeze, to the damp and to the rain of

00:00:11,370 --> 00:00:12,London City.

00:00:15,210 --> 00:00:19,We come from the sun to live in the
cold, I'm in the room, I want my coconut

00:00:19,730 --> 00:00:20,free.

00:00:31,970 --> 00:00:35,Let's keep the music sweet, wind up your
waist and feel the heat.

00:00:43,180 --> 00:00:45,The Peckham Symphony start early this
morning, boy.

00:00:46,000 --> 00:00:47,But Graham has no time, Desmond.

00:00:48,080 --> 00:00:50,Oh, that's a good slogan, Matthew.

00:00:51,640 --> 00:00:55,Maybe we could use that for our new
neighbourhood watch scheme. No, no, no,

00:00:55,680 --> 00:00:57,Say it yourself, she's. You ain't g***t
fortune.

00:00:58,040 --> 00:00:59,This world is a funny place, you know.

00:01:00,440 --> 00:01:05,The government spends millions of pounds
of taxpayers' money to advertise the

00:01:05,220 --> 00:01:09,fact that thieves steal millions of
pounds every year from the likes of us.

00:01:09,680 --> 00:01:12,So we pay to advertise something we
already know.

00:01:12,700 --> 00:01:16,The teas keep on teething. The
advertisers keep on advertising.

00:01:16,580 --> 00:01:18,Everybody makes money apart from us.

00:01:19,940 --> 00:01:24,The thing is that there is such an open
display of wealth nowadays, especially

00:01:24,680 --> 00:01:25,in the Southeast.

00:01:25,820 --> 00:01:29,It's like dangling a carrot in front of
the noses of the more impoverished.

00:01:30,880 --> 00:01:35,Matthew and I were having a discussion
about it. You see, there is something

00:01:35,460 --> 00:01:37,between those two types of therapists.

00:01:39,720 --> 00:01:42,The people who make the biggest fortunes
are those thieves in the city. Just

00:01:42,860 --> 00:01:46,because they wear pinstripe suits and
bowler hats, no one suspects them. Yeah,

00:01:46,760 --> 00:01:47,me know about them.

00:01:48,180 --> 00:01:48,You do?

00:01:48,960 --> 00:01:50,Now, that surprised me. Yeah, man.

00:01:51,000 --> 00:01:52,Them is the ones who do things inside.

00:01:53,320 --> 00:01:55,Don't you mean inside the dealers, yeah?
Yeah.

00:01:56,060 --> 00:01:57,They steal billions, mate.

00:01:57,620 --> 00:02:00,Well, you can hardly compare a peckham
criminal to a kitty criminal.

00:02:00,840 --> 00:02:01,Crime is crime, right?

00:02:02,240 --> 00:02:05,Whether you wear a balaclava or a bowler
hat, them is guilty.

00:02:08,590 --> 00:02:13,The motive that drives your city
slicker, earning 200 ,000 a year, is

00:02:13,290 --> 00:02:16,different to what drives your peck -on
-plate pocket on the dole. And I

00:02:16,870 --> 00:02:21,disagree. Because if you leave your car
unlocked long enough, they'll both drive

00:02:21,670 --> 00:02:22,it away.

00:02:23,890 --> 00:02:24,Listen,

00:02:28,850 --> 00:02:30,now that's why I call a friend.

00:02:30,390 --> 00:02:34,The man is teaching my customers. Yeah,
that's what's called inside a slip -in,

00:02:34,470 --> 00:02:35,James.

00:02:39,880 --> 00:02:41,Beckham's Symphony is getting louder.

00:02:41,860 --> 00:02:44,It's beginning to sound like the Overture.

00:02:47,120 --> 00:02:53,All right, all right, Porkpie. There's
enough noise

00:02:53,660 --> 00:02:55,outside without you making more inside
as well.

00:02:56,220 --> 00:02:59,I really like that tune, you know. That
is a hard tune.

00:02:59,980 --> 00:03:03,I never would have guessed you'd like
that tune, you know, Porkpie. When I saw

00:03:03,260 --> 00:03:06,you in full swing just then, I said to
myself, Lee, Porkpie really like that

00:03:06,840 --> 00:03:07,tune, you know.

00:03:10,640 --> 00:03:12,Would you like to read my paper?

00:03:12,980 --> 00:03:13,Yes, thanks, mate.

00:03:14,240 --> 00:03:15,Why, think nothing of it.

00:03:15,660 --> 00:03:18,It's nice to meet young people who like
to expand their minds.

00:03:20,960 --> 00:03:22,Next. Yes, you.

00:03:23,340 --> 00:03:24,Good morning, sir.

00:03:24,640 --> 00:03:26,Welcome to Desmond's Hair Waves.

00:03:27,220 --> 00:03:29,Today you'll be flying clipper class.

00:03:29,480 --> 00:03:31,So pass in your seatbelts.

00:04:00,719 --> 00:04:01,I don't know.

00:04:02,160 --> 00:04:04,And to be perfectly honest with you, I
don't care.

00:04:04,600 --> 00:04:05,I'm going home to bed.

00:04:05,920 --> 00:04:07,I had my fair share of the war last
night.

00:04:08,160 --> 00:04:10,I thought the policeman was always on
duty.

00:04:10,640 --> 00:04:14,Yeah, but the trick is to get from the
factory... Factory? The police station,

00:04:14,760 --> 00:04:18,please. To get from there to home
without seeing any violations along the

00:04:18,820 --> 00:04:20,which ain't half difficult in Peckham.

00:04:20,839 --> 00:04:23,Certain things you have to let go.
Pretend you've never seen them. But

00:04:23,900 --> 00:04:24,mostly minor offences.

00:04:25,280 --> 00:04:28,Yeah, but don't you get withdrawal
symptoms, Ned? You know, turn the blind

00:04:29,460 --> 00:04:34,I thought your motto was, you know, if
it moves, nick it. Oh, very funny.

00:04:34,700 --> 00:04:37,If I have any more of your cheek, I'd
have to live up to that motto.

00:04:38,340 --> 00:04:41,No, truly, I just popped in to tell
Michael that I'm not going to be able to

00:04:41,580 --> 00:04:42,make the cricket match on Sunday.

00:04:43,640 --> 00:04:47,I have to be on duty for the game
against Millwall and West Ham at the

00:04:47,660 --> 00:04:48,Rather you than me, mate.

00:04:49,800 --> 00:04:52,I thought Millwall was changing the
image.

00:04:52,440 --> 00:04:54,Well, they've g***t a crush now. A crush?

00:04:54,840 --> 00:04:57,You mean we subsidising their kids by
building a crush?

00:04:58,340 --> 00:05:01,While the real children are on the
football ground fighting each other?

00:05:02,380 --> 00:05:03,What is this word I'm into?

00:05:05,980 --> 00:05:08,Can you imagine the sort of kids in that
creche?

00:05:08,640 --> 00:05:12,Little hooligans with bobber boots and t
-shirts saying, get to go with your toy

00:05:12,800 --> 00:05:14,or I'll kick you in the pampers.

00:05:15,680 --> 00:05:16,Next.

00:05:17,500 --> 00:05:18,I'm waiting for him.

00:05:19,060 --> 00:05:20,So ** I.

00:05:24,800 --> 00:05:25,Leaps.

00:05:26,920 --> 00:05:27,I want a word.

00:05:31,790 --> 00:05:34,I was only joking about the motto, Nev.
You know what they call me? Cheeky Lee.

00:05:40,450 --> 00:05:41,Look, Nev.

00:05:41,970 --> 00:05:45,If you want to talk to me about those
electric kettles, I had no idea they

00:05:45,090 --> 00:05:46,didn't eat up.

00:05:47,190 --> 00:05:50,I mean, how was I supposed to know the
heating element was missing?

00:05:51,210 --> 00:05:54,Come on, I've g***t my reputation to think
about. They call me Bargain Lee.

00:05:54,710 --> 00:05:56,Fearless is my game. Cheekness is my
name.

00:05:57,410 --> 00:05:58,And they call me Honest Nev.

00:05:59,550 --> 00:06:00,I'm the Lev.

00:06:01,640 --> 00:06:02,It's not about that.

00:06:02,980 --> 00:06:03,Ain't it?

00:06:04,220 --> 00:06:05,What's it about, then?

00:06:05,980 --> 00:06:11,Uh... You don't know why I could get two
cheap tickets to Barbados in September,

00:06:11,660 --> 00:06:12,do you? See?

00:06:13,700 --> 00:06:14,It's my middle name.

00:06:15,140 --> 00:06:16,I know. I won't be grinding.

00:06:20,240 --> 00:06:21,Here's the chorus.

00:06:24,620 --> 00:06:27,You hoo -hoo, we count two hoo -hoo.

00:06:31,530 --> 00:06:32,It'll sound as if you're crying.

00:06:32,830 --> 00:06:35,That's never going to win the Peckham
local radio jingle competition.

00:06:36,010 --> 00:06:37,It fits the tune, Sean.

00:06:37,430 --> 00:06:38,But it'll ruin my track.

00:06:38,770 --> 00:06:42,Look, judging from your virtuoso
performance on the old keyboards last

00:06:42,070 --> 00:06:43,couldn't have done much worse.

00:06:43,390 --> 00:06:45,My tune needs a special ingredient.

00:06:45,950 --> 00:06:49,We're making a jingle, Sean, not cookie
-nacky and saltfish.

00:06:50,350 --> 00:06:52,And we've g***t better things to do.

00:06:54,390 --> 00:06:56,So that's clear to hear. Come, come.

00:07:10,180 --> 00:07:13,An L2, an R -Man is only one station
when you're in your car.

00:07:15,760 --> 00:07:16,It's Kiki, y 'all.

00:07:46,090 --> 00:07:49,They get bigger and stronger whilst I
get weaker.

00:07:49,650 --> 00:07:52,Now hold your feet. A tart should never
rise.

00:07:52,950 --> 00:07:53,I'm sorry, she did.

00:07:54,830 --> 00:07:55,Thank you.

00:08:19,080 --> 00:08:19,this morning.

00:08:19,680 --> 00:08:22,I nearly had a heart attack. Does what?

00:08:22,540 --> 00:08:25,What did the doctor have to say about
your mouth?

00:08:30,340 --> 00:08:32,Nothing wrong with me mouth.

00:08:33,600 --> 00:08:36,It's funny how there's never anything
wrong with she mouth.

00:08:37,760 --> 00:08:40,That's because it gets plenty of
exercise.

00:08:41,080 --> 00:08:44,And it's funny how the mouth is the only
part of the body you two ever seem to

129...