Kill.Tony.Kill.or.be.Killed.2025.1080p.WEB.h264-ETHEL Subtitles

00:00:24,471 --> 00:00:25,Hey, this is Redban coming live

00:00:25,805 --> 00:00:29,from the Comedy Mothership
here in Austin, Texas

00:00:29,305 --> 00:00:31,for a brand new
episode of Kill Tony.

00:00:31,305 --> 00:00:34,Give it up for Tony Hinchcliffe!

00:00:42,505 --> 00:00:45,Who's waiting for the best
f***g night of their lives, huh?

00:00:52,571 --> 00:00:53,Yippee!

00:00:55,138 --> 00:00:56,Yeah!

00:00:56,705 --> 00:00:58,Make some noise for
Redban, everybody!

00:00:59,005 --> 00:01:00,Hey!

00:01:00,538 --> 00:01:03,Oh, my goodness.

00:01:03,571 --> 00:01:06,How about one more time for the
best d***n band in the land, huh?

00:01:06,505 --> 00:01:09,Fernando Castillo.

00:01:09,205 --> 00:01:10,Raul Vallejo.

00:01:10,338 --> 00:01:12,Carlos Sosa on the horns.

00:01:12,238 --> 00:01:14,That's the great Michael
Gonzalez on the drums.

00:01:15,871 --> 00:01:18,Matt Muehling on
the electric guitar.

00:01:18,571 --> 00:01:21,The leader of the band
John B's on the Keys.

00:01:22,271 --> 00:01:26,And that is indeed the one and
only D-Madness on the bass guitar,

00:01:26,105 --> 00:01:27,ladies and gentlemen.

00:01:28,171 --> 00:01:30,Oh, my goodness.

00:01:32,071 --> 00:01:33,You know, Redban,

00:01:33,405 --> 00:01:36,you and I have been doing
this show for 12 years.

00:01:36,471 --> 00:01:41,We've never missed a Monday
release ever, ever, ever.

00:01:41,905 --> 00:01:44,During the pandemic,
during everything.

00:01:44,138 --> 00:01:46,We've helped people
launch their careers.

00:01:46,471 --> 00:01:48,We've had a blast
the entire time.

00:01:50,138 --> 00:01:53,Right now, there are
hundreds and hundreds,

00:01:53,338 --> 00:01:57,three hundred-plus comedians
next door in a dilapidated bar

00:01:57,805 --> 00:02:02,waiting, hoping that they get
pulled out of this bucket.

00:02:02,638 --> 00:02:06,And what they don't know,
and what none of you know,

00:02:06,971 --> 00:02:10,is this episode will be on…

00:02:11,838 --> 00:02:13,Right on cue.

00:02:17,005 --> 00:02:18,Netflix.

00:02:20,205 --> 00:02:22,Oh, my goodness.

00:02:22,405 --> 00:02:25,An epic moment

00:02:25,338 --> 00:02:28,in our long crazy history.

00:02:28,838 --> 00:02:31,Seven hundred plus episodes,

00:02:31,838 --> 00:02:35,tens of thousands
of bucket pulls,

00:02:35,605 --> 00:02:37,and it's all come down to this.

00:02:38,505 --> 00:02:39,The American Dream.

00:02:40,771 --> 00:02:45,We watched comedians fail or
succeed every single week.

00:02:45,638 --> 00:02:48,And now this episode will be on

00:02:48,371 --> 00:02:53,the universe's largest global
streaming service on planet Earth.

00:02:58,238 --> 00:02:59,Every single week,

00:02:59,571 --> 00:03:03,I book some of the funniest
or most intelligent guests

00:03:03,205 --> 00:03:07,to sit here with us and
watch people advance,

00:03:07,305 --> 00:03:10,or make it or break it
as standup comedians.

00:03:10,138 --> 00:03:12,This week, no different.

00:03:12,238 --> 00:03:15,Who better to have as
guests here in Austin, Texas

00:03:15,738 --> 00:03:17,than two Austin residents?

00:03:17,871 --> 00:03:24,Two icons, two of the most
influential men in all of the world.

00:03:24,105 --> 00:03:26,I present to you
tonight's guests.

00:03:26,938 --> 00:03:29,Joe Rogan and Elon Musk.

00:03:32,171 --> 00:03:34,Oh, my God.

00:03:35,705 --> 00:03:37,Oh, yeah.

00:03:38,005 --> 00:03:39,Elon Musk!

00:03:44,505 --> 00:03:45,Joe Rogan!

00:03:46,438 --> 00:03:47,Tony!

00:03:48,338 --> 00:03:50,Ah, Tony's back!

00:03:50,271 --> 00:03:53,So cool. So cool.

00:03:55,205 --> 00:03:59,Oh, Netflix. So
cool. So excited.

00:03:59,071 --> 00:04:00,Really. So excited, Tony.

00:04:02,371 --> 00:04:07,So it might be the d***k load of ketamine
I just had, but I'm really excited.

00:04:08,205 --> 00:04:09,Comedy is back, you know.

00:04:10,371 --> 00:04:12,- It is…
- The left, you know,

00:04:12,138 --> 00:04:14,they tried to make it illegal.

00:04:14,138 --> 00:04:16,So uncool. Right.

00:04:17,538 --> 00:04:19,- Tony…
- Comedy is back.

00:04:19,205 --> 00:04:22,- Elon, we're so happy to have you here.
- Comedy is back at Kill Tony.

00:04:22,471 --> 00:04:23,Yeah. Really cool.

00:04:24,705 --> 00:04:28,For the first time ever,
Elon Musk is here, everyone.

00:04:28,538 --> 00:04:29,Yeah.

00:04:29,638 --> 00:04:32,Yeah! Yeah.

00:04:35,438 --> 00:04:36,Yeah.

00:04:36,805 --> 00:04:41,I'm, like, really uncomfortable with
my own skin, so I move around a lot.

00:04:41,571 --> 00:04:44,I apologize. I want to crawl
out of it like a snake.

00:04:49,638 --> 00:04:53,My best friend, Joe Rogan. He
thinks I'm so funny, though.

00:04:53,471 --> 00:04:55,Really, you watch the show.

00:04:55,438 --> 00:04:59,He, like… He laughs so hard, like,
he sometimes doesn't make a sound.

00:04:59,471 --> 00:05:02,He's just like, "Oh,
my God. So funny." So…

00:05:02,605 --> 00:05:05,Yeah, really excited.

00:05:05,871 --> 00:05:08,By the way, I'm have, like, maybe
20 minutes of a personality.

00:05:08,571 --> 00:05:10,Then I'm going to hit,
like, a serious K hole.

00:05:11,038 --> 00:05:14,So, let's get right to it.

00:05:14,138 --> 00:05:15,Right?

00:05:15,238 --> 00:05:18,Best friends. Really cool.

00:05:18,505 --> 00:05:19,He's so cool.

00:05:21,005 --> 00:05:22,Really cool.

00:05:22,171 --> 00:05:24,- This is Elon's first time on the show.
- Yeah.

00:05:24,605 --> 00:05:27,Joe Rogan is here, everybody.

00:05:27,805 --> 00:05:28,We are here

00:05:28,871 --> 00:05:32,in the house that Rogan
built, the Comedy Mothership,

00:05:32,238 --> 00:05:34,the greatest comedy
club in the world.

00:05:34,538 --> 00:05:36,We've done this numerous times.

00:05:36,171 --> 00:05:37,Joe Rogan. Welcome back.

00:05:37,471 --> 00:05:38,Thank you, sir.

00:05:38,438 --> 00:05:39,And we're gonna have a blast.

00:05:39,971 --> 00:05:43,I figure we should start the show before
we get to one of these bucket pulls

00:05:43,338 --> 00:05:47,with one of our great regulars here
to do the first set on Kill Tony

00:05:47,871 --> 00:05:50,in Netflix's entire history.

00:05:50,238 --> 00:05:53,Ladies and gentlemen, getting
us started, I present to you

00:05:53,871 --> 00:05:57,a man who came to us
from a faraway land.

00:06:00,871 --> 00:06:03,A rock star of mass proportions.

00:06:03,571 --> 00:06:05,We've been watching him do sets.

00:06:05,138 --> 00:06:08,This guy does new minutes
every single week on this show.

00:06:09,038 --> 00:06:12,A fearless, fearless
Kill Tony regular.

00:06:12,271 --> 00:06:15,This is the Estonian assassin,

00:06:15,071 --> 00:06:16,Ari Matti!

00:06:26,338 --> 00:06:27,What's up?

00:06:27,738 --> 00:06:28,Whoo!

00:06:29,338 --> 00:06:31,I had a date.

00:06:32,438 --> 00:06:37,Uh, we went to a restaurant and
I let her pick the restaurant.

00:06:38,071 --> 00:06:39,That's where I f***d up.

00:06:41,171 --> 00:06:43,'Cause you know it
ain't gonna be Denny's.

00:06:44,505 --> 00:06:48,You know when you walk into a restaurant,
you see that f***g chandelier?

00:06:49,805 --> 00:06:52,You're like, "You dirty bitch."

00:06:53,638 --> 00:06:57,It was one of those restaurants, you know,
where the menu doesn't even have prices.

00:06:59,938 --> 00:07:01,I thought I g***t a broken menu.

00:07:02,538 --> 00:07:05,And I was like, "Excuse me,
it's missing the most valuable

00:07:06,305 --> 00:07:09,piece of information
I need from a menu.

00:07:10,538 --> 00:07:12,I don't give a f***k where
the salmon grew up."

00:07:15,905 --> 00:07:18,Bill comes, it's in a
f***g treasure chest.

00:07:19,805 --> 00:07:21,Three-eighty.

00:07:22,305 --> 00:07:23,Two people, still hungry.

00:07:23,705 --> 00:07:26,Three-eighty.

00:07:26,438 --> 00:07:30,You know how much money
$380 is for an Estonian?

00:07:30,938 --> 00:07:33,Dude, we send that money to
Ukraine, we're winning the war.

00:07:35,838 --> 00:07:37,This is, like, seven missiles.

00:07:39,138 --> 00:07:41,I gotta call Zelensky.
"Sorry, boss.

00:07:42,705 --> 00:07:44,The bitch g***t tartare."

00:07:47,271 --> 00:07:49,We leave the restaurant.

00:07:49,138 --> 00:07:52,You know when the bill is so
high, you don't even want to f***k?

00:07:56,205 --> 00:07:58,She's like, "What
are we doing next?"

00:07:58,138 --> 00:08:00,"Uh, pick up a shift."

00:08:03,471 --> 00:08:06,Three-eighty! A hooker is…

00:08:07,038 --> 00:08:08,A hooker's...