Game On s03e04 Crabs Subtitles

00:00:01,640 --> 00:00:07,But Sunday morning is only for the
blessed.

00:00:07,660 --> 00:00:14,And the sacred moments of dizziness are
where I find

00:00:14,500 --> 00:00:15,my heaven.

00:00:16,059 --> 00:00:18,Where I find my heaven.

00:00:19,560 --> 00:00:23,Where I find my heaven.

00:00:41,540 --> 00:00:42,Weasel.

00:00:44,820 --> 00:00:45,Beaver!

00:00:49,160 --> 00:00:50,Partridge. Good choice.

00:00:51,520 --> 00:00:52,Wish I was coming.

00:00:52,820 --> 00:00:56,No. Your mum and your sister want to get
to know me better without you there.

00:00:56,300 --> 00:00:57,It's a girls' dinner.

00:00:57,980 --> 00:00:59,Can you get partridge in Tesco, do you
think?

00:01:00,060 --> 00:01:01,You should get it from a caretree, don't
you?

00:01:04,400 --> 00:01:05,Sad part.

00:01:06,940 --> 00:01:08,No, I think I'll do the growl.

00:01:09,140 --> 00:01:11,Excellent. Mother will be delighted.

00:01:12,260 --> 00:01:14,She's written several books on cooking
game.

00:01:15,940 --> 00:01:18,That it is, then.

00:01:18,760 --> 00:01:19,Are you off?

00:01:20,040 --> 00:01:21,Yeah, yeah.

00:01:21,620 --> 00:01:23,I've g***t a small present for you first,
Maddy.

00:01:26,800 --> 00:01:30,I wonder if he's g***t those emerald
earrings that she keeps dropping hints

00:01:30,120 --> 00:01:34,Or that ruby pendant she keeps dropping
hints about. Or the diamond bracelet.

00:01:36,880 --> 00:01:37,Say anything.

00:01:38,980 --> 00:01:41,Archie's from a different world to us.
They have different ways.

00:01:42,460 --> 00:01:45,This is what Archie's grandfather gave
to Archie's grandmother when they g***t

00:01:45,760 --> 00:01:47,engaged. He shot it himself.

00:01:51,500 --> 00:01:52,Bloody good shot, wasn't he?

00:01:53,880 --> 00:01:57,It must be a bit embarrassing for you,
man. Archie's family, practically

00:01:57,680 --> 00:02:00,aristocracy. Your family, practically
gorillas.

00:02:01,760 --> 00:02:05,It is not embarrassing at all. I ** who
I **.

00:02:05,940 --> 00:02:09,Archie's family will have to take me as
they find me. I certainly won't be

00:02:09,280 --> 00:02:10,putting on any airs and graces for them.

00:02:10,919 --> 00:02:11,Won't you?

00:02:12,940 --> 00:02:14,I would if I were you, ma '**.

00:02:19,660 --> 00:02:25,Nothing in the world smells as lovely as
Rosie's head, Matt.

00:02:26,620 --> 00:02:29,It's a sort of vanilla smell.

00:02:30,740 --> 00:02:31,No, hang on, not vanilla.

00:02:33,980 --> 00:02:35,Butterscotch. Here, you have a sniff.

00:02:37,220 --> 00:02:38,You sure, Matt?

00:02:39,100 --> 00:02:40,I can't stop.

00:02:40,800 --> 00:02:41,I'm hooked.

00:02:42,040 --> 00:02:43,Go on, you'll like it. She won't mind.

00:02:43,740 --> 00:02:45,Get it away from me.

00:02:45,720 --> 00:02:47,I don't want to smell the kids out, all
right?

00:02:48,180 --> 00:02:50,God's sake, Mark, where's your self
-respect?

00:02:51,120 --> 00:02:52,What kind of man are you?

00:02:53,000 --> 00:02:55,It's girls who go around smelling
babies' heads, not men.

00:02:57,160 --> 00:02:59,It's one little sniff, wouldn't it? I
said no.

00:02:59,980 --> 00:03:00,I'm a bloke.

00:03:01,140 --> 00:03:04,I have no interest in babies. I think
they're repulsive, fat blobs.

00:03:04,860 --> 00:03:07,If you were any sort of proper bloke,
you'd think the same.

00:03:07,540 --> 00:03:10,Actually, I don't think I ** a proper
bloke. I don't know if I want to be one.

00:03:11,300 --> 00:03:13,Not if it means you can't smell babies'
heads.

00:03:14,540 --> 00:03:16,You don't want to be a proper bloke? No,
not necessarily.

00:03:17,900 --> 00:03:20,There's all sorts of things a chap can
be these days, isn't there?

00:03:20,420 --> 00:03:23,It can be a bloke or a lad or a new lad.

00:03:23,280 --> 00:03:26,You don't want to be a proper bloke! It
can be a guy or a chap or a fella.

00:03:26,920 --> 00:03:27,We're blokes!

00:03:28,880 --> 00:03:29,I ** a man.

00:03:30,560 --> 00:03:31,All right.

00:03:31,540 --> 00:03:32,You're a man.

00:03:32,640 --> 00:03:34,Fine. I have no problem with that.

00:03:36,920 --> 00:03:38,You're a bloke as well, aren't you?

00:03:39,440 --> 00:03:40,There, I think that's everything.

00:03:40,920 --> 00:03:42,Oh, I bought her a new coat if you want
to bring her out anywhere.

00:03:43,120 --> 00:03:44,Oh.

00:03:44,280 --> 00:03:45,Oh, is it mother care?

00:03:45,580 --> 00:03:46,Or is it baby gap?

00:03:47,180 --> 00:03:48,No.

00:03:48,320 --> 00:03:49,Oshkosh bigosh?

00:03:49,620 --> 00:03:51,Oh, I love it in there.

00:03:51,340 --> 00:03:52,All the little tiny clothes.

00:03:53,180 --> 00:03:54,Yeah, they have to be small, Mark.

00:03:54,680 --> 00:03:55,They're to fit babies.

00:03:56,060 --> 00:03:57,I'm not saying that. Look at the baby
bears.

00:03:58,260 --> 00:03:59,Yeah, I've seen these coats.

00:03:59,720 --> 00:04:04,You can get pink baby bears with green
hearts and red baby bears with yellow

00:04:04,000 --> 00:04:07,hearts, but brown baby bears and blue
hearts is definitely the coolest. Don't

00:04:07,440 --> 00:04:09,you think so, Matt? Don't you think
Rosie will look cool?

00:04:09,860 --> 00:04:11,Cool? Your daughter.

00:04:12,240 --> 00:04:13,I think not, Matt.

00:04:19,240 --> 00:04:21,It's really nice of you to help me out
again, Martin.

00:04:22,040 --> 00:04:23,Very busy these days.

00:04:24,440 --> 00:04:25,Still seeing that, Shane?

00:04:25,860 --> 00:04:26,Oh, on and off.

00:04:27,480 --> 00:04:29,Anyway, thanks for all the babysitting.

00:04:29,740 --> 00:04:31,You're my dad, aren't I?

00:04:31,480 --> 00:04:32,Yeah, you are.

00:04:35,780 --> 00:04:41,To be honest, Martin, I do find it
difficult seeing you as a proper father

00:04:41,160 --> 00:04:43,figure. Would it help if I grew a
moustache?

00:04:46,560 --> 00:04:50,Oh, Martin, it's not like you do
anything wrong.

00:04:51,040 --> 00:04:53,Well, it's more like you just don't do
anything at all.

00:04:53,960 --> 00:04:56,I mean, look at this armchair of yours.

00:04:57,370 --> 00:04:59,a little dent where you rest your head
against it.

00:04:59,750 --> 00:05:00,And look at the feet.

00:05:00,970 --> 00:05:03,A perfect imprint of your buttocks.

00:05:03,790 --> 00:05:04,And right.

00:05:04,890 --> 00:05:08,And there on the carpet in front, two
threadbare patches where you put your

00:05:08,370 --> 00:05:09,feet.

00:05:10,070 --> 00:05:13,You're perfectly a vegetable. No, not a
vegetable, because at least they grow.

00:05:13,750 --> 00:05:14,You don't even do that.

00:05:15,050 --> 00:05:18,You're more like a... like a compost
heap.

00:05:20,090 --> 00:05:24,Sitting there, quietly decaying into a
brown mulch.

00:05:25,520 --> 00:05:27,What kind of an example is that for a
little girl?

00:05:27,880 --> 00:05:29,I don't just sit there, Claire.

00:05:30,860 --> 00:05:33,Look, there's a worn path leading down
to the kettle.

00:05:38,220 --> 00:05:38,Do

00:05:38,620 --> 00:05:45,you

00:05:45,460 --> 00:05:46,think I'm brown mulch, Mandy?

00:05:47,240 --> 00:05:48,What?

00:05:49,060 --> 00:05:50,No, don't tell me.

00:05:50,320 --> 00:05:53,I'm sorry, Mark, but I can't get
involved at the moment. I've g***t my own

00:05:53,280 --> 00:05:55,on. Are you supposed to be cooking now?

00:05:55,520 --> 00:05:56,Yes, I **.

00:05:56,880 --> 00:05:59,But I've been traipsing around the shops
for five hours trying to find the right

00:05:59,680 --> 00:06:01,outfit. In the end, I had a brilliant
idea.

00:06:02,400 --> 00:06:06,I bought exactly the same outfit that
Lady Peverell, the famous society

00:06:06,180 --> 00:06:07,is wearing in this week's Country Life.

00:06:25,960 --> 00:06:27,for Archie's best bread.

00:06:27,940 --> 00:06:29,Calm down, Madge. It's only a dinner.

00:06:30,080 --> 00:06:31,It doesn't really matter what you wear.

00:06:31,840 --> 00:06:34,I mean, earlier you said they'd have to
take you as they found you.

00:06:34,600 --> 00:06:36,Yeah, you said you were as good as them
any day.

00:06:36,960 --> 00:06:39,Yeah, you said you wouldn't be putting
on airs and graces to impress them.

00:06:39,940 --> 00:06:41,But I was talking bollocks!

00:06:42,080 --> 00:06:43,I'm cold as coke!

00:06:43,620 --> 00:06:46,The whole engagement will have to be
called off. I'll have to give Archie his

00:06:46,660 --> 00:06:50,diamond ring back and just forget the
whole thing. Sly slapper. Do not handle

00:06:50,380 --> 00:06:53,me! Here, have a vodka to calm your
nerves.

00:06:54,440 --> 00:06:56,I don't know what you're worried about.
Me and Martin would be there to keep an

00:06:56,820 --> 00:06:57,eye on you.

00:06:57,580 --> 00:06:58,What?

00:06:58,900 --> 00:07:00,You're not coming. I haven't invited
you.

00:07:00,900 --> 00:07:01,Yeah, but we live here.

00:07:02,240 --> 00:07:03,It's my flat, remember?

00:07:03,820 --> 00:07:05,We're looking forward to it, aren't we,
Martin?

00:07:05,680 --> 00:07:06,Oh, no.

00:07:07,080 -->...