In Sickness And In Health s06e07.eng Subtitles

00:00:05,100 --> 00:00:10,Now, my old darling, they've laid her
down to rest, and now I'm missing her

00:00:10,200 --> 00:00:11,all we are.

00:00:11,940 --> 00:00:17,But they don't give a monkey's sanity a
chance, and they're calling off me

00:00:17,100 --> 00:00:18,pension for a start.

00:00:19,680 --> 00:00:24,So it won't be very long before I'm by
her side, but I'll probably starve to

00:00:24,500 --> 00:00:25,death, that's what I'll do.

00:00:26,640 --> 00:00:31,But richer or poorer, I'm bloody poor,
that's a fact, just because it's fixed,

00:00:31,460 --> 00:00:33,it's done in health, but I'll do.

00:00:36,330 --> 00:00:37,Thank you.

00:01:11,720 --> 00:01:12,It's a proper size.

00:01:13,240 --> 00:01:15,It don't fit in.

00:01:16,080 --> 00:01:21,The room is too small, innit? Look, when
I buy next door and knock that wall

00:01:21,560 --> 00:01:23,down... Well, why don't you buy a bigger
house?

00:01:23,841 --> 00:01:27,Well, when I buy next door and knock
that wall down, I'll have a bigger

00:01:27,320 --> 00:01:28,won't I?

00:01:29,760 --> 00:01:34,Ping -pong would have been better. Ping
-pong. It's a bloody girls' game, innit?

00:01:45,070 --> 00:01:46,play snooker either.

00:01:46,121 --> 00:01:46,Shut up.

00:01:46,970 --> 00:01:51,Millions of TV viewers shared a secret
as cameras panned round the Labour Party

00:01:51,990 --> 00:01:55,conference and caught two lovers holding
hands.

00:01:55,031 --> 00:01:58,I thought it was only our stories they
had all them s***x scandals. Holding hands

00:01:58,890 --> 00:02:00,is not a s***x scandal.

00:02:00,850 --> 00:02:04,His wife spotted her husband during the
conference.

00:02:04,590 --> 00:02:08,I don't want to hear about your Labour
Party and all its sexual goings on.

00:02:08,201 --> 00:02:10,Why do you have to read everything out
loud?

00:02:10,050 --> 00:02:13,I'm trying to study the financial column
here.

00:02:18,030 --> 00:02:19,I don't read out loud, do I?

00:02:20,990 --> 00:02:22,But you eat out loud.

00:02:22,430 --> 00:02:23,Shut up.

00:02:26,230 --> 00:02:30,You're probably more of a scholar than I
**, Mr Garnet. I was a late starter,

00:02:30,610 --> 00:02:33,you see. I left school before I g***t
round to silent reading.

00:02:33,711 --> 00:02:37,I'm beginning to see why your missus
finds it so hard to put up with you.

00:02:37,310 --> 00:02:40,Oh, we get along all right, so long as
we don't see too much of each other.

00:02:40,630 --> 00:02:42,Well, why do you stay together?

00:02:42,750 --> 00:02:44,It's better than living with strangers.

00:02:47,020 --> 00:02:48,...to be mayor last year.

00:02:48,740 --> 00:02:52,But I did not want to be mayor
because... I can still hear you!

00:02:52,981 --> 00:02:57,I've read that paper. I know what's in
that paper. I don't want to hear it all

00:02:57,500 --> 00:03:03,again. I ** trying to study a financial
economy. I'm grappling with figures

00:03:03,360 --> 00:03:06,here. Can't concentrate with you going
on about the Labour Party and these

00:03:06,740 --> 00:03:07,sexual titbits.

00:03:13,070 --> 00:03:17,page. That's it. You sneer, my dear.
You've g***t no money to understand the

00:03:17,930 --> 00:03:22,responsibilities I have with it. Not the
sun, my dear. Can you read? Can you

00:03:22,150 --> 00:03:22,read? Look.

00:03:22,710 --> 00:03:24,The Financial Times.

00:03:24,710 --> 00:03:28,The paper for people with head on their
shoulders. They use them. All just

00:03:28,650 --> 00:03:29,sticking their hat on.

00:03:30,870 --> 00:03:33,Not the sun inside it. Open a page
through.

00:03:43,470 --> 00:03:47,36. Yes, there are figures to conjure
with all right. You think that's all

00:03:47,130 --> 00:03:48,g***t to do is look at women's chests?

00:03:49,570 --> 00:03:51,Having money's not as easy as you think.

00:03:51,491 --> 00:03:54,I'm sure it's better than not having it,
though. It's because you don't

00:03:54,970 --> 00:03:59,understand the perplexities of it, my
dear, do you? Look, look. Look where the

00:03:59,090 --> 00:04:01,bloody bank sends me bank statements.
Look.

00:04:02,130 --> 00:04:03,Add it up.

00:04:03,890 --> 00:04:10,Subtract, divide, compare the bank
statements and their sums with my sums

00:04:10,750 --> 00:04:11,make sure...

00:04:13,230 --> 00:04:15,more sums now than I ever had to do when
I was at school.

00:04:16,310 --> 00:04:20,Not 36, 38 women's chests. I ain't g***t
no time for that.

00:04:22,250 --> 00:04:25,It's the figures I've g***t to deal with.
Will you leave that alone?

00:04:25,501 --> 00:04:31,The figures I've g***t to deal with now is
bigger than women's chests, isn't it?

00:04:31,110 --> 00:04:35,It's thousands and thousands of pounds.
It's noughts everywhere and multiple

00:04:35,150 --> 00:04:39,divisions. It's not just finger stuff,
you know. Will you leave that alone?

00:04:41,311 --> 00:04:46,They tell you how much you've g***t, don't
they? Oh, yeah.

00:04:46,780 --> 00:04:47,They'll tell you.

00:04:48,880 --> 00:04:52,You don't want to get stitched up, mate.
You've g***t to have your own books.

00:04:53,020 --> 00:04:59,You've g***t to have your own figures,
see? I mean, you... You'd

00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:04,be... You'd be daft to trust a bank's
figures, wouldn't you?

00:05:04,600 --> 00:05:05,Wouldn't you?

00:05:07,020 --> 00:05:08,I mean,

00:05:08,381 --> 00:05:12,don't matter how respectable the bank
manager might look, you've g***t to watch

00:05:12,980 --> 00:05:15,them. what happened with that BBC -I
bank thing, wouldn't it?

00:05:15,820 --> 00:05:17,I mean, that was Arabs, wasn't it?

00:05:17,501 --> 00:05:21,Well, you've g***t to be round a twist to
trust your money to the bloody Arabs or

00:05:21,620 --> 00:05:23,any bleating foreigners for that matter.

00:05:23,740 --> 00:05:25,It's all paper, isn't it? It's all
paper.

00:05:28,320 --> 00:05:29,Paper.

00:05:29,460 --> 00:05:33,And when it comes down to it, it's your
paper against their paper, see?

00:05:33,141 --> 00:05:36,I mean, you can't go down to the bank
and count your money each day, you know?

00:05:36,700 --> 00:05:38,You can't? No, no, they don't like it.

00:05:46,710 --> 00:05:48,manager turned quite nasty.

00:05:48,730 --> 00:05:55,Oh, he said, hey, all our customers want
to stand

00:05:55,410 --> 00:05:57,here and count their money. I said,
what?

00:05:58,130 --> 00:06:01,Why not? I said, why not?

00:06:02,410 --> 00:06:03,It's their money, isn't it?

00:06:03,890 --> 00:06:09,I said, what about all this service you
advertise on the television, all the

00:06:09,490 --> 00:06:12,friendly bank and all that cobblers? I
said, as soon as someone comes in and

00:06:12,170 --> 00:06:16,wants to count their bloody money, you
turn nasty. So they can't, I mean, I

00:06:16,020 --> 00:06:18,to him, I said, when Robert Maxwell,
RIP, or

00:06:18,840 --> 00:06:25,Rupert Murdoch, I said, when they come
in your bank and ask to count their

00:06:25,820 --> 00:06:29,money, I bet you don't tell them they
can't. Well, he said, they don't bank

00:06:29,120 --> 00:06:30,here, he says.

00:06:30,020 --> 00:06:32,I said, I can bloody well understand
why, I said.

00:06:32,880 --> 00:06:35,I'm thinking of taking my money out too,
I said.

00:06:35,440 --> 00:06:36,I mean, I put...

00:06:44,910 --> 00:06:48,that money in here in good faith, I
think. And when I come in and I want to

00:06:48,550 --> 00:06:50,it and have a count of it, like, you
say, I can't.

00:06:51,030 --> 00:06:53,I mean, what proof I've g***t that money
still here, eh?

00:06:54,210 --> 00:06:58,How do I know that, I mean, some Arab,
he could be riding off across the desert

00:06:58,790 --> 00:07:02,with it right now, but that money's
stuffed in the saddlebag of his camel,

00:07:02,150 --> 00:07:05,Well, I mean, that's what happened to
BBC, I think, wasn't it?

00:07:05,050 --> 00:07:09,You get statements, he says. Oh, yeah, I
said, the people that have money in

00:07:09,110 --> 00:07:12,BBCI Bank, they've g***t statements, mate.
That's all they bloody well did get was

00:07:12,510 --> 00:07:13,statements, wasn't it?

00:07:13,550 --> 00:07:18,And while I'm talking, there's a fella
comes in the bank, hangs his money

00:07:18,130 --> 00:07:24,the counter, right, and before he's
thrown... And before he's thrown his

00:07:24,650 --> 00:07:26,hardly, they give it to someone else.

00:07:26,870 --> 00:07:29,I said, I hope you don't do that with my
money, I said.

00:07:29,890 --> 00:07:32,He said, it's bank, and he said...

00:08:33,210 --> 00:08:37,I didn't bring them in here. When you
leave it, I didn't bring... He brought

00:08:37,850 --> 00:08:41,that in here. And...