Futurama S07E18 - The Inhuman Torch Subtitles

00:00:33,324 --> 00:00:34,(CREAKING)

00:00:41,582 --> 00:00:43,They said it
couldn't be done, Kif,

00:00:43,793 --> 00:00:47,but here we are, stealing an unlimited
supply of birthday grade helium

00:00:47,838 --> 00:00:50,from the unsuspecting moon.
Sun.

00:00:50,716 --> 00:00:52,At night it's called
the moon.

00:00:52,718 --> 00:00:55,Ugh! All this heat
has rendered me parched.

00:00:56,055 --> 00:00:58,Which of these doo-whackies
dispenses horchata.

00:00:58,891 --> 00:01:01,Stop! That's the force field
holding the mine open!

00:01:04,897 --> 00:01:06,(EXPLOSION)
(BOTH SCREAMING)

00:01:07,149 --> 00:01:09,Mine collapse! Mine
collapse! (ALARM BLARING)

00:01:09,860 --> 00:01:11,So? Mine collapse, too.

00:01:12,488 --> 00:01:13,(KIF GROANS)

00:01:13,906 --> 00:01:15,(DRAMATIC MUSIC)

00:01:17,493 --> 00:01:20,Fifteen miners are now
confirmed trapped in the sun.

00:01:20,621 --> 00:01:22,If rescue doesn't
come soon,

00:01:22,498 --> 00:01:25,they may never again
not see the light of day.

00:01:25,418 --> 00:01:26,Linda?
(LAUGHS)

00:01:28,129 --> 00:01:29,The situation is grim,
Morbo.

00:01:30,172 --> 00:01:32,Officials concede
that any attempt at rescue

00:01:32,550 --> 00:01:35,would be an agonizing
suicide mission.

00:01:35,678 --> 00:01:37,Good news, everyone!

00:01:37,805 --> 00:01:38,Ugh!

00:01:38,889 --> 00:01:40,When the mine caved in,

00:01:40,600 --> 00:01:43,the entrance was blocked
by a fusion explosion.

00:01:43,728 --> 00:01:47,Luckily, the miners found safe
haven here in the doom chamber.

00:01:48,858 --> 00:01:52,To rescue them, you'll
simply have to fly to the sun

00:01:52,153 --> 00:01:55,and march in through
an inferno of molten plasma.

00:01:55,740 --> 00:01:58,But solar plasma is,
like, 10,000 degrees hot.

00:01:58,826 --> 00:02:02,Won't that sear our tender
flesh, sealing in the juices?

00:02:02,204 --> 00:02:03,Oh, nonsense.

00:02:03,664 --> 00:02:06,You clearly weren't paying
attention to what I'm about to say.

00:02:07,043 --> 00:02:08,To the sub-basement!

00:02:12,214 --> 00:02:15,You see, you'll be protected
by my fermion barrier

00:02:15,134 --> 00:02:16,heat-exclusion spray.

00:02:18,054 --> 00:02:20,Watch as I demonstrate
by coating

00:02:20,097 --> 00:02:24,some highly delicate matter,
and dunking it into this molten lava.

00:02:25,478 --> 00:02:26,(SCREAMING)

00:02:27,563 --> 00:02:28,(ALL GASP)

00:02:34,153 --> 00:02:36,Guess what? Hell is real.

00:02:36,280 --> 00:02:37,Oh, good, it works.

00:02:38,032 --> 00:02:39,Toodle-oo! (SLURPS)

00:02:56,509 --> 00:02:57,Prepare for action.

00:02:57,885 --> 00:02:59,Aye-aye.

00:03:08,104 --> 00:03:09,(ALL SCREAMING)

00:03:10,147 --> 00:03:12,Attention,
helium miners.

00:03:12,942 --> 00:03:14,Can you hear me?

00:03:14,485 --> 00:03:16,MINER 1: (IN SQUEAKY VOICE)
For God's sake, help us!

00:03:16,404 --> 00:03:18,MINER 2: (IN SQUEAKY VOICE)
We're in agonizing pain!

00:03:18,989 --> 00:03:20,(ALL SNICKERING)

00:03:20,616 --> 00:03:21,(WHISPERS) Stop laughing.

00:03:22,076 --> 00:03:23,Help is on the way!

00:03:24,453 --> 00:03:26,In the meantime,
you should sing

00:03:26,205 --> 00:03:27,a song to keep
your spirits up.

00:03:28,040 --> 00:03:30,How about
Camptown Races?

00:03:30,751 --> 00:03:32,MINERS: (SINGING IN HIGH PITCH)
The Camptown ladies sing this song

00:03:33,003 --> 00:03:35,Doo-da, Doo-da

00:03:35,339 --> 00:03:36,(CHUCKLING)

00:03:37,133 --> 00:03:39,(LAUGHS) Let's do this.

00:03:41,137 --> 00:03:42,(GRUNTING)

00:03:43,305 --> 00:03:46,I'll stay here and be
in charge of not dying.

00:03:53,524 --> 00:03:55,Razzma flazzma plasma.

00:03:55,651 --> 00:03:56,We must be close.

00:03:56,694 --> 00:03:58,We're hitting an occasional
(SQUEAKY VOICE) helium pocket.

00:03:59,238 --> 00:04:00,(LOUD RUMBLING)

00:04:00,489 --> 00:04:01,(ALL EXCLAIMING)

00:04:02,658 --> 00:04:05,We don't have much time!
Keep moving forward!

00:04:05,494 --> 00:04:07,Screw that!
I'm getting out of here.

00:04:07,872 --> 00:04:09,(SCATTING)

00:04:12,418 --> 00:04:15,Just one more fire between me
and a well-earned nap.

00:04:18,340 --> 00:04:19,(YELLING)

00:04:21,385 --> 00:04:23,What a dramatic
scene, Linda.

00:04:23,596 --> 00:04:27,The heroic robot, with no
concern for his own safety,

00:04:27,141 --> 00:04:29,has bravely charged
back into the mine.

00:04:30,019 --> 00:04:31,What else is on?
(SWITCHES TV CHANNEL)

00:04:33,689 --> 00:04:35,(GRUNTS)

00:04:37,026 --> 00:04:38,(BENDER YELLING)
(BOTH GASPING)

00:04:40,488 --> 00:04:41,(BENDER CONTINUES YELLING)

00:04:41,864 --> 00:04:43,(ALL EXCLAIMING)

00:04:45,242 --> 00:04:47,Phew! It is ripe in here.

00:04:48,037 --> 00:04:49,Well, so long, jerks.

00:04:52,625 --> 00:04:55,We are now in minute five of
our round-the-clock coverage

00:04:55,544 --> 00:04:58,as we await the return
of the courageous robot.

00:04:58,756 --> 00:04:59,(YELLING)

00:05:01,217 --> 00:05:02,(GRUNTING)

00:05:04,678 --> 00:05:06,What the... How'd that
get in there? (PANTING)

00:05:07,556 --> 00:05:10,Thank you. Thank you, sir.
You're a true hero.

00:05:11,060 --> 00:05:12,I **? Huh!

00:05:12,686 --> 00:05:15,I always strongly suspected
I was one of those.

00:05:15,606 --> 00:05:17,One man is safe.

00:05:17,274 --> 00:05:18,But who will
the robot pull next

00:05:18,984 --> 00:05:20,from the fiery
hole of mystery?

00:05:20,778 --> 00:05:22,An actress?
A celebrity chef?

00:05:23,072 --> 00:05:26,Stay tuned for
the next 14 rescues.

00:05:26,367 --> 00:05:29,Fourteen? (GROANS)

00:05:44,426 --> 00:05:45,(MINER GRUNTS)

00:05:47,555 --> 00:05:48,(ALL CHEERING)

00:05:49,598 --> 00:05:52,And that's the final miner!
They all made it!

00:05:52,685 --> 00:05:55,(SNIFFLES) Morbo
is not weeping.

00:05:55,104 --> 00:05:57,He has a parasite
in his eye.

00:05:59,483 --> 00:06:02,Whoo! I'm the greatest!

00:06:08,075 --> 00:06:11,Ladies and gentlemen,
we're here today to pay tribute

00:06:11,453 --> 00:06:13,to the heroic
Planet Express crew!

00:06:14,123 --> 00:06:15,But we only
have the one medal.

00:06:16,000 --> 00:06:18,So please direct all your
admiration to the main guy,

00:06:18,794 --> 00:06:19,Bender!

00:06:20,170 --> 00:06:21,(ALL CHEERING)

00:06:21,297 --> 00:06:23,Now, you two step aside.

00:06:25,467 --> 00:06:26,(CROWD CHEERING)

00:06:28,470 --> 00:06:30,Hey, being a hero's all right.

00:06:30,347 --> 00:06:31,Look at all this free stuff.

00:06:31,974 --> 00:06:35,Oh, my God, you guys, fire!
Firel

00:06:35,853 --> 00:06:37,(CROWD EXCLAIMING)

00:06:38,772 --> 00:06:40,My baby's in that podium!

00:06:40,691 --> 00:06:42,Somebody call
the fire department!

00:06:42,902 --> 00:06:46,There is no fire department. I
sold it to pay for Bender's medal.

00:06:46,155 --> 00:06:47,Hold this,
your highness.

00:06:47,531 --> 00:06:49,You'll need to award it
to me again in a minute.

00:06:54,830 --> 00:06:55,(BABY CHUCKLING)

00:06:55,915 --> 00:06:56,(CROWD CHEERING)

00:07:00,836 --> 00:07:03,These boys must have
hero in their bones.

00:07:03,839 --> 00:07:06,And you, ma'**, must
have heroine IN your veins.

00:07:07,051 --> 00:07:09,I hereby decree
Planet Express to be

00:07:09,428 --> 00:07:11,our city's new
fire department!

00:07:12,681 --> 00:07:14,B***e my shiny metal ax!

00:07:14,850 --> 00:07:16,(CROWD CHEERING)

00:07:17,811 --> 00:07:20,And you,
give me back my medal.

00:07:35,037 --> 00:07:37,Friends,
look at these new poles.

00:07:37,539 --> 00:07:40,Get ready for
one s***y firehouse.

00:07:40,960 --> 00:07:44,ZOIDBERG, quit turning us on
and go polish your nozzle.

00:07:44,546 --> 00:07:46,Yo! Hero in the house.

00:07:46,715 --> 00:07:49,I just g***t back from
my daily medal strut.

00:07:49,551 --> 00:07:50,(BLARING)

00:07:51,762 --> 00:07:53,What's that?
Did they pick a new Pope?

00:07:54,014 --> 00:07:57,Good news, everyone!
Someone's home is on fire.

00:07:58,018 --> 00:07:59,(ALL CHEERING)

00:07:59,728 --> 00:08:00,(SIREN WAILING)

00:08:28,090 --> 00:08:29,(PANTING)

00:08:33,137 --> 00:08:34,(CHUCKLING)

00:08:51,155 --> 00:08:52,(GROANS) I'm exhausted.

00:08:53,198 --> 00:08:55,All this firefighting
is murder on my feet.

00:08:57,995 --> 00:09:00,There has been quite
a rash of fires lately.

00:09:00,456 --> 00:09:02,First at the podium
where Bender g***t his medal....