Happy Texas (1999) Subtitles

At 00:00:06,000, Character said: api.OpenSubtitles.org is deprecated, please
implement REST API from OpenSubtitles.com

2
At 00:00:38,206, Character said: Hey, why did the armadillo
cross the road? Why?

3
At 00:00:43,211, Character said: It didn't. See?

4
At 00:00:46,414, Character said: Can't someone else
be on bag for a while?

5
At 00:00:50,318, Character said: Excuse me.
You want to be the bag guy?

6
At 00:00:53,988, Character said: - Did I say you could speak to me?
- Oh, sorry.

7
At 00:00:56,891, Character said: When you move up to committin' real crimes,
then you can speak to the men.

8
At 00:01:00,128, Character said: Put it in the bag. Hey, are you going
to just stand there like some coward...

9
At 00:01:04,298, Character said: and let him talk to you
like that?

10
At 00:01:06,600, Character said: Hey, goat boy,
the same goes for you!

11
At 00:01:09,470, Character said: Now, you two d***n amateurs
stay in your own yard...

12
At 00:01:11,973, Character said: or else I'll chain you there.

13
At 00:01:14,208, Character said: "Goat boy"!

14
At 00:01:23,985, Character said: Oh, you gonna
get you some now, boy.

15
At 00:01:25,987, Character said: Well, then, the light is green.

16
At 00:01:41,069, Character said: Soon as we get you boys back to lockup,
it's gonna mean a week in the hole...

17
At 00:01:43,872, Character said: for each of you.

18
At 00:01:46,074, Character said: Goat boy, you fight like a girl.

19
At 00:01:55,616, Character said: No, no, no!

20
At 00:02:01,622, Character said: Knock it off, goddamn it!

21
At 00:02:36,390, Character said: Hey, hey, hey, hey!
Where ya goin'?

22
At 00:02:39,560, Character said: Hey, if we're escapin' here,
give us the keys!

23
At 00:02:42,663, Character said: We don't need keys!
I don't even know him.

24
At 00:02:46,467, Character said: This ain't adios.
It's just good-bye.

25
At 00:02:50,571, Character said: We gotta get out of here.

26
At 00:02:52,573, Character said: Hey, I don't even know
who you are.

27
At 00:02:57,511, Character said: Harry Sawyer.

28
At 00:02:59,413, Character said: Wayne Wayne Wayne, Jr.

29
At 00:03:03,617, Character said: Hi.
Hi.

30
At 00:03:29,043, Character said: Now we have three... count
my fingers... three runners.

31
At 00:03:32,313, Character said: First, a man
who likes to steal cars.

32
At 00:03:37,251, Character said: Wayne Wayne Wayne, Jr.

33
At 00:03:40,188, Character said: Next, Harry Sawyer.

34
At 00:03:43,457, Character said: Fraud, credit card scams.

35
At 00:03:46,427, Character said: Finally, the reason why we're
all here today, boys and girls.

36
At 00:03:54,002, Character said: Bob Maslow.

37
At 00:03:56,170, Character said: Oh, my Lord!
Bob Maslow is a bad man.

38
At 00:03:58,539, Character said: Let's get the guy
before he kills somebody else.

39
At 00:04:01,575, Character said: Get anything,
but it has to be nonfat.

40
At 00:04:04,178, Character said: This is nonfat.
Don't worry about it.

41
At 00:04:06,180, Character said: What about this? You know,
we don't owe these people a d***n thing.

42
At 00:04:09,183, Character said: I know,
I know. I'm not happy either, David.

43
At 00:04:11,252, Character said: Peas or corn?
Peas.

44
At 00:04:13,421, Character said: If I have to listen to one more of
those little monsters butcher "Tomorrow,"

45
At 00:04:16,424, Character said: I may end up doing somethin'
very violent.

46
At 00:04:18,759, Character said: That is exactly what I ** talking
about. Now, I say we dump Happy.

47
At 00:04:22,163, Character said: Well, we can't dump Happy. That
reminds me. We need some toilet paper.

48
At 00:04:24,665, Character said: No, not that. The other one. It's
softer. Okay, stop snapping at me.

49
At 00:04:27,535, Character said: I'm on your side. I'm not the
enemy. Listen to me for a second.

50
At 00:04:30,071, Character said: Let's just junk that crappy
apartment on wheels... I want this.

51
At 00:04:32,340, Character said: And quit this
whole stupid business.

52
At 00:04:34,508, Character said: I want a real life again.
You know, a little fun.

53
At 00:04:36,510, Character said: You remember that word "fun"?
Yes, I do remember fun.

54
At 00:04:38,546, Character said: I want our old life back. You need to
get a new attitude, is what you need.

55
At 00:04:41,382, Character said: I think that she may have overcharged
us on something. She did not.

56
At 00:04:44,285, Character said: If you would have brought the coupons,
No, some of this stuff is not right.

57
At 00:04:46,154, Character said: Maybe we could have
saved some money.

58
At 00:04:50,091, Character said: Oh, my God!

59
At 00:04:52,260, Character said: David, somebody stole
our crappy camper. It's gone.

60
At 00:05:06,174, Character said: We gotta call the police.
Listen to me.

61
At 00:05:08,176, Character said: Steven, if we call the police,
we'll just get it back.

62
At 00:05:10,811, Character said: What? But if we wait
a couple of weeks,

63
At 00:05:13,081, Character said: call the insurance company,

64
At 00:05:15,249, Character said: we can cash in on
the modern American dream.

65
At 00:05:19,420, Character said: Yes!
Yes.

66
At 00:05:21,422, Character said: Can we go to Maui?
Yes!

67
At 00:05:25,126, Character said: Trust me.
It's perfection.

68
At 00:05:27,328, Character said: There's dual tanks on this baby.

69
At 00:05:29,330, Character said: Even on back roads
it's more than enough.

70
At 00:05:31,332, Character said: Let's get out of Texas.
Go, daddy, go!

71
At 00:05:33,767, Character said: A prison break today...

72
At 00:05:35,769, Character said: at the Jim Hogg County
Correctional Facility...

73
At 00:05:38,272, Character said: has brought out law enforcement
agencies in four states.

74
At 00:05:41,609, Character said: The three fugitives, including
convicted murderer Robert Alan Maslow,

75
At 00:05:45,879, Character said: escaped from their prison van
while being transported to the facility.

76
At 00:05:48,816, Character said: Authorities
are advising motorists...

77
At 00:05:51,585, Character said: not to pick up hitchhikers and
to use caution at all rest stops.

78
At 00:05:55,123, Character said: State prisons are leakin'
like a macrame diaphragm.

79
At 00:05:57,425, Character said: Texas' finest are in full manhunt
mode. "Sheet." "Manhunt mode."

80
At 00:06:00,594, Character said: Sounds like a full weekend
for you and your pals. Oh, you!

81
At 00:06:03,831, Character said: Hey, you folks keep an eye out
for three orange jumpsuits,

82
At 00:06:06,167, Character said: at least until the marshal gets
those "fellers" back in the pokey.

83
At 00:06:08,836, Character said: Hey, comin' up next: Another
Hollywood actor's in rehab,

84
At 00:06:12,273, Character said: and the state's largest tomato
gets auctioned off for charity.

85
At 00:06:15,309, Character said: Well, I guess we'd better
turn around.

86
At 00:06:17,345, Character said: So what you're saying
is north is there, right?

87
At 00:06:21,282, Character said: Well, a little bit... Yep. Yep.

88
At 00:06:24,618, Character said: Unless I turn the map this way.

89
At 00:06:31,592, Character said: That is so much better!

90
At 00:06:35,429, Character said: Come on.

91
At 00:06:38,599, Character said: Yeah, I almost g***t it. Come on.

92
At 00:06:42,670, Character said: - I almost g***t it.
- It's the cops.

93
At 00:06:45,339, Character said: It's the cops. Come on! Pop?

94
At 00:06:47,341, Character said: Let's get out of here.
Pop who?

95
At 00:06:50,244, Character said: S***t.

96
At 00:06:52,280, Character said: - Hi.
- It must be my lucky day.

97
At 00:06:56,617, Character said: A lot of folks lookin' for you.

98
At 00:06:58,686, Character said: Oh, my.

99
At 00:07:02,590, Character said: Yeah, we're on our way in, but you'd
better get your tow truck out there. Over.

100
At 00:07:11,265, Character said: Oh, no. I've heard about
this before. Vigilante justice.

101
At 00:07:16,804, Character said: We're screwed.
They're gonna hang us.

102
At 00:07:18,972, Character said: No, they aren't.
Yeah, they are.

103
At 00:07:20,974, Character said: Shut up.
Oh, my God.

104
At 00:07:24,612, Character said: Okay, sell me.

105
At 00:07:28,582, Character said: W-Why, you want me to speak?

106
At 00:07:31,285, Character said: All we want to know is if you
were offered one instead of two,

107
At 00:07:35,489, Character said: would you take it?

108
At 00:07:37,591, Character said: We could do one easy.

109
At 00:07:39,593, Character said: I know this is not
what you're expecting,

110
At 00:07:41,762, Character said: but I've always found
these things to be negotiable.

111
At 00:07:44,632, Character said: You want to negotiate?
Now, hold on.

112
At 00:07:46,967, Character said: If it's all the same with you, judge,
we'd rather get less. Much less.

113
At 00:07:49,637, Character said: - Now we're getting somewhere.
- Now, stop right there.

114
At 00:07:51,839, Character said: I didn't bring 'em in so you
could give 'em less than minimum.

115
At 00:07:55,276, Character said: These fellows are professionals.
They should get what they deserve.

116
At 00:07:58,512, Character said: - D***n cop.
- We'll take one, Your Honor.

117
At 00:08:01,382, Character said: Sold American. Let the record
show that they've agreed to 1,000.

118
At 00:08:05,419, Character said: Put in the time and date it.

119
At 00:08:07,388, Character said: - One thousand?
- Yes.

120
At 00:08:09,657, Character said: One thousand what?

121
At 00:08:11,692, Character said: Which one of you is Steven,
and which one is David?

122
At 00:08:14,362, Character said: What?
Oh, for Christ's sakes!

123
At 00:08:16,597, Character said: Which one of you is Steven,
and which of you fellas is David?...