Hes.All.That.English-WWW.MY-SUBS.CO Subtitles

At 00:00:06,791, Character said: ["Carried Away" playing]

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At 00:00:26,708, Character said: ♪ It's like suddenly ♪

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At 00:00:29,041, Character said: ♪ All that's important is in front of me ♪

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At 00:00:32,375, Character said: ♪ I already know what we're gonna be ♪

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At 00:00:35,833, Character said: ♪ You look so good in this light ♪

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At 00:00:40,708, Character said: ♪ I love to love ♪

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At 00:00:42,541, Character said: ♪ I love all the ways
feel so much ♪

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At 00:00:45,958, Character said: ♪ I get carried away ♪

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At 00:00:47,666, Character said: ♪ I love to love ♪

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At 00:00:51,000, Character said: ♪ I love to love ♪

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At 00:00:53,541, Character said: [phone alarm rings]

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At 00:00:56,458, Character said: [whimsical music playing]

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At 00:01:10,708, Character said: [yawns]

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At 00:01:11,833, Character said: Good morning, guys.
It's me, Padgett Head to Toe here,

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At 00:01:14,833, Character said: where we talk about makeovers,
self-improvement,

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At 00:01:17,291, Character said: and how to become
the most spectacular you you can be.

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At 00:01:20,583, Character said: Now, as I always say
when it comes to makeovers,

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At 00:01:23,041, Character said: it's your insides that count.

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At 00:01:24,625, Character said: But your outsides
are the first thing people see.

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At 00:01:27,416, Character said: I didn't get my full eight last night
because I was up studying,

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At 00:01:30,291, Character said: and as some of you saw,

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At 00:01:31,666, Character said: baking some super delicious treats.

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At 00:01:34,041, Character said: So, this morning's routine is
going to take a little bit extra effort.

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At 00:01:38,666, Character said: Wow, okay. You guys have
already asked a lot of questions.

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At 00:01:42,208, Character said: So let's dive right in.

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At 00:01:43,666, Character said: CandyLaLa09, cute name by the way,

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At 00:01:46,500, Character said: wants to know how my morning routine
is different after a late night.

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At 00:01:49,875, Character said: Great question, Candy.

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At 00:01:51,083, Character said: These Bunny Venom revival eye patches
are always my fav for eye puff.

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At 00:01:55,541, Character said: I had coffee last night,
which is super dehydrating,

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At 00:01:58,250, Character said: so I'll work in
some Alo Head-to-Toe Glow Oil

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At 00:02:01,166, Character said: to get rid of the dryness
and add a whisper of cream blush.

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At 00:02:04,583, Character said: Okay, ZoeWorld88 says she has a giant zit,

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At 00:02:08,250, Character said: and they're taking her senior pictures
in two days. Poor thing.

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At 00:02:11,250, Character said: Rule number one,
never try to pop it with your fingers.

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At 00:02:14,000, Character said: Apply a warm compress.

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At 00:02:15,541, Character said: Oh! DIY quick fix,
take some soft toilet paper,

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At 00:02:18,750, Character said: a little toothpaste,

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At 00:02:20,458, Character said: dab it on. Dries it right out.

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At 00:02:31,541, Character said: -[whimsical music stops]
-[gardening equipment whirring outside]

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At 00:02:35,833, Character said: -Hey, another late night?
-Ah, 7:00 to 7:00.

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At 00:02:38,708, Character said: -Hmm, how was it?
-Well, let's see.

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At 00:02:40,916, Character said: We had, hmm, two heart attack victims,

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At 00:02:43,416, Character said: a toddler with a watch battery
stuck in her nose.

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At 00:02:46,791, Character said: -Oh my gosh.
-[Mom] Yeah.

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At 00:02:48,125, Character said: And a gentleman on meth
with a stab wound to the neck.

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At 00:02:50,916, Character said: Yikes! What a nightmare.

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At 00:02:52,500, Character said: Yeah, it was pretty awful.
They were just thrashing around,

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At 00:02:55,208, Character said: cursing at everyone,
spitting on the orderlies.

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At 00:02:57,666, Character said: -Man, meth really messes you up.
-Oh no, that was the toddler.

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At 00:03:00,958, Character said: Yeah. The guy on meth
actually seemed really sweet.

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At 00:03:04,291, Character said: Until he smiled.

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At 00:03:05,833, Character said: His teeth, ugh… Pretty rough.

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At 00:03:08,666, Character said: [gasps] Yes!
[singsong] I've been waiting for this!

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At 00:03:12,541, Character said: Almost $3,000 for, um…

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At 00:03:14,750, Character said: Tell me what you do again?

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At 00:03:16,208, Character said: I'm just mostly kidding.

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At 00:03:17,666, Character said: But I just hope that some of it
goes towards your college fund.

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At 00:03:20,583, Character said: -Not more of--
-[Padgett] Mom.

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At 00:03:21,833, Character said: Those shoes cost more than our dishwasher.

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At 00:03:23,666, Character said: These are Bunny Venom comps. Totally free.

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At 00:03:26,000, Character said: Which reminds me, do you have any idea
how my bill from the plumber g***t paid?

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At 00:03:31,000, Character said: Oh! Yeah, I Venmo'd the repairman.

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At 00:03:33,416, Character said: -Honey.
-What?

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At 00:03:34,833, Character said: I saw the bill on the counter.

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At 00:03:36,500, Character said: I figured, I mean, you work so hard
to keep us in the school district.

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At 00:03:40,291, Character said: Yes, this amazing school district
full of snotty, entitled trust funders.

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At 00:03:44,416, Character said: Hey, some of my best friends
are entitled trust funders.

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At 00:03:47,333, Character said: Exactly. And then you feel
this tremendous pressure to keep up.

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At 00:03:50,583, Character said: You want me to go to a college
full of entitled trust funders.

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At 00:03:53,750, Character said: And I'm actually late to meet the ones
who drive me to school every day.

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At 00:03:57,416, Character said: -Love you. [kiss]
-Mm.

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At 00:03:59,208, Character said: Bye.

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At 00:04:00,166, Character said: ["Electric" playing]
♪ Oh, I can see it, see it ♪

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At 00:04:02,791, Character said: ♪ If you believe it then you can ♪

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At 00:04:05,375, Character said: ♪ There's no reason
That this life can't be ♪

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At 00:04:08,791, Character said: ♪ Electric ♪

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At 00:04:09,958, Character said: [car honking]

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At 00:04:11,250, Character said: [phone keyboard clacking]

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At 00:04:13,416, Character said: [girl 1] Brake! Ugh.

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At 00:04:15,916, Character said: -Hi.
-[girl 1] Hey.

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At 00:04:16,916, Character said: Oh, please tell me those aren't
what I think they are.

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At 00:04:19,375, Character said: What?

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At 00:04:20,416, Character said: Croquembouche with white cream filling.
I saw your story.

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At 00:04:23,125, Character said: From scratch.
And I made them with almond flour

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At 00:04:25,583, Character said: because Jordan is gluten-free now.

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At 00:04:27,416, Character said: -Seriously?
-He's shooting his big video today.

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At 00:04:29,416, Character said: -I wanted to surprise him.
-Oh right. The big follow-up single.

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At 00:04:32,708, Character said: -What's it called again?
-"Turf War in the 424."

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At 00:04:34,958, Character said: -[scoffs]
-[girl 2 laughs]

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At 00:04:36,375, Character said: He's being ironic, I think.

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At 00:04:38,500, Character said: And it's a lot of pressure
dealing with all this sudden fame.

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At 00:04:41,041, Character said: Please. The guy's completely gorgeous
with half a million followers.

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At 00:04:44,541, Character said: -What does he have to be stressed about?
-I don't know.

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At 00:04:46,916, Character said: -Why don't you ask him when you see him?
-Yes! I'm so down.

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At 00:04:49,500, Character said: So where's the set? Hollywood?

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At 00:04:51,291, Character said: -Beverly Hills?
-Canoga Park.

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At 00:04:53,083, Character said: [both] Ew.

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At 00:04:54,166, Character said: Isn't that the Valley?

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At 00:04:55,708, Character said: That's like the valley of the Valley.

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At 00:04:58,291, Character said: Buckle up, ladies.

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At 00:04:59,791, Character said: [Jordan] ♪ Jordan V. D. ♪

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At 00:05:02,041, Character said: ♪ La-la-la-la-la-la ♪

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At 00:05:04,833, Character said: ♪ La-la-la-la-la-la ♪

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At 00:05:07,375, Character said: ♪ Just another golden day ♪

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At 00:05:10,291, Character said: [girl singing]
♪ But I'm here and I'm 'boutta get paid ♪

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At 00:05:12,791, Character said: ♪ On the mean streets ♪

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At 00:05:14,125, Character said: ♪ Of Pali
Little freaks in they jeeps ♪

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At 00:05:16,250, Character said: -[boy] Hey!
-♪ Don't play ♪

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At 00:05:18,083, Character said: -♪ On the mean streets of Pali ♪
-Brin, I know you can hear me.

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At 00:05:21,000, Character said: -♪ Gonna surf, ride, yeah, we slay ♪
-[turns on car stereo loudly]

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At 00:05:23,583, Character said: ♪ Nine miles from UCLA ♪

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At 00:05:25,416, Character said: Nope.

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At 00:05:26,333, Character said: -Never touch my Bose.
-[turns off car stereo]

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At 00:05:29,041, Character said: Why do you listen
to that crap all the time?

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At 00:05:31,125, Character said: Jordan Van Draanen's music is not crap.
You haven't even heard his other songs.

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At 00:05:35,000, Character said: Okay, what are his other songs?

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At 00:05:37,833, Character said: He hasn't recorded them yet.

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At 00:05:39,375, Character said: [laughs]

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At 00:05:40,541, Character said: You act like you're so above it all,
but I think you're just jealous.

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At 00:05:44,083, Character said: Of what?

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At 00:05:45,000, Character said: Jordan's this super popular guy
in your grade, and you're just a…

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At 00:05:48,416, Character said: A fountain of truth
in a world of bullshit?

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At 00:05:50,500, Character said: -Yes, you're welcome.
-[Brin] Ugh.

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At 00:05:53,083, Character said: -Why hate everything remotely popular?
-No, see, I hate things that s***k.

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At 00:05:56,541, Character said: Whether they're popular or not
is outside my control.

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At 00:05:59,250, Character said: [interrupts] ♪ La-la-la-la-la ♪

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At 00:06:00,958, Character said: ♪ It's Jordan Van Draanen, damnit! ♪

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At 00:06:02,583, Character said: [man on PA]
Attention Cali High Earthquakes,

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At 00:06:04,625, Character said: this is Principal Bosch announcing
this year's prom theme, Under the Sea,

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At 00:06:08,041, Character said: which really doesn't make sense
because technically you'd be in the sea,

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At 00:06:11,708, Character said: not under it,

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At 00:06:12,750, Character said: but...