Ellen s02e06 so funny Subtitles

At 00:00:10,089, Character said: This frame cost me way too much money,
but I don't care. I haven't shot a

At 00:00:13,630, Character said: picture this good in months.

At 00:00:17,710, Character said: Anything here?

At 00:00:18,950, Character said: Looks good.

At 00:00:19,790, Character said: All right.

At 00:00:23,710, Character said: Yes? I'll need the hammer.

At 00:00:26,190, Character said: Really? Aren't you the boy who failed
woodshop when his bookshelves collapsed?

At 00:00:30,110, Character said: They gave us substandard lumber.

At 00:00:32,710, Character said: I know how to hang a picture. Right.
Well, how do you find a stud?

At 00:00:35,790, Character said: Usually I just undo my top button and
let him find me.

At 00:00:42,250, Character said: Electronic stud finder.

At 00:00:43,950, Character said: Here? Nothing.

At 00:00:48,070, Character said: Here, however, we find the sturdiest
place on the wall to drive a nail.

At 00:00:52,850, Character said: That's it.

At 00:01:02,200, Character said: Clearly substandard lumber.

At 00:01:04,360, Character said: Probably just a little bit over.

At 00:01:09,800, Character said: Looks like you g***t it surrounded.

At 00:01:20,660, Character said: Ah, all right.

At 00:01:22,280, Character said: You want to do the honors?

At 00:01:32,170, Character said: What do you call that thing anyway?

At 00:01:33,150, Character said: I haven't named it yet.

At 00:01:38,810, Character said: Really no hurry.

At 00:01:47,330, Character said: And that is funny.

At 00:01:52,370, Character said: Unbelievable.

At 00:01:56,770, Character said: Teresa, that is the most amazing play.

At 00:02:00,230, Character said: Oh.

At 00:02:01,500, Character said: Sure. Sorry.

At 00:02:04,860, Character said: You've g***t to be kidding.

At 00:02:08,759, Character said: Hey, busy? No, I ** just reading this
one sentence over and over and over

At 00:02:13,100, Character said: It is really good.

At 00:02:15,620, Character said: So how was your romantic weekend in Palm
Springs? Fantastic.

At 00:02:18,800, Character said: Don and I went swimming. We went hiking.
We played tennis. We were hardly ever

At 00:02:23,060, Character said: in our rooms.

At 00:02:24,720, Character said: Rooms up.

At 00:02:25,640, Character said: It was very romantic.

At 00:02:26,920, Character said: Don insisted that we have separate
rooms.

At 00:02:29,520, Character said: That does sound romantic.

At 00:02:30,740, Character said: Maybe next time you can go to Hawaii and
stay on separate islands.

At 00:02:34,180, Character said: Don is a gentleman.

At 00:02:36,180, Character said: He wants to take things slow because he
respects me.

At 00:02:39,440, Character said: And that's okay with you?

At 00:02:42,520, Character said: Ellen, relationships are not just about
s***x.

At 00:02:45,800, Character said: Besides this waiting thing, it's a huge
turn on.

At 00:02:48,780, Character said: Hey, God, that Teresa is so funny.

At 00:02:51,960, Character said: Teresa? She's like my second best friend
in the world.

At 00:02:54,810, Character said: Still number one.

At 00:02:55,990, Character said: So, it's all set up. She's flying out
this weekend. She's going to stay here

At 00:02:59,250, Character said: until she finds a job.

At 00:03:00,650, Character said: You're still okay with this, right?

At 00:03:02,010, Character said: Yeah, sure.

At 00:03:02,910, Character said: I'm glad I'm finally getting to meet
her. I was beginning to think you made

At 00:03:05,730, Character said: up.

At 00:03:06,850, Character said: What? Like your Canadian girlfriend.

At 00:03:11,150, Character said: Renee, it was not imaginary.

At 00:03:14,230, Character said: You just didn't get to meet her.

At 00:03:15,790, Character said: Because she moved to Australia.

At 00:03:18,550, Character said: To become a supermodel.

At 00:03:23,130, Character said: Okay, I made her up. But Teresa's real,
you'll see. Seriously, she's like the

At 00:03:27,970, Character said: funniest person I know.

At 00:03:29,350, Character said: Are you sure you mean funniest?

At 00:03:31,790, Character said: Okay, maybe second funniest.

At 00:03:33,350, Character said: Number one.

At 00:03:38,380, Character said: I'm at this Knicks game, right? And I
look over, and there was a guy writhing

At 00:03:41,720, Character said: around in the aisles, right? And
nobody's doing anything. So, of course,

At 00:03:45,120, Character said: over there, and I'm, like, searching
through his stuff for, like, pills or a

At 00:03:48,500, Character said: rope or something, anything.

At 00:03:49,940, Character said: And I get this asthma inhaler, and I
think, well, thank God he's having an

At 00:03:53,000, Character said: asthma attack.

At 00:03:53,740, Character said: So I put it in his mouth, and I push
down, and wham! It is not an inhaler. It

At 00:03:59,100, Character said: an air horn.

At 00:04:02,420, Character said: Wham! his mouth. That's so funny.

At 00:04:04,940, Character said: That's funny.

At 00:04:06,420, Character said: That reminds me of the time that we went
to that Dodgers game and we didn't have

At 00:04:11,640, Character said: any tickets and we were trying to find a
scalper and everybody that we met was

At 00:04:15,620, Character said: coming up to us and asking us if we had
any tickets to sell. And then later on

At 00:04:21,000, Character said: we found out that that's how scalpers
ask you if you want to buy tickets, if

At 00:04:25,000, Character said: have any to sell.

At 00:04:26,920, Character said: It was so weird.

At 00:04:32,460, Character said: That's a funny story.

At 00:04:34,140, Character said: Thank you.

At 00:04:38,960, Character said: So, Teresa, how was your flight over?

At 00:04:41,160, Character said: That was incredible. Oh, I didn't tell
you. I g***t bumped at first class.

At 00:04:43,940, Character said: You aren't going to believe this. I was
walking into the terminal, and I had

At 00:04:47,180, Character said: that sort of hot dog -shaped carry -on
thing that you get at the pilot himself.

At 00:04:51,480, Character said: My next boyfriend moves to Boston,
right? And he says I'm not adventurous

At 00:04:54,680, Character said: enough, which you, come on. But I miss
him, so I think I'm going to surprise

At 00:04:57,920, Character said: him. So I put on this big raincoat,
nothing underneath. Zip, okay?

At 00:05:01,860, Character said: And I get on the train. It's a Friday
night. I ride the whole night in the

At 00:05:06,000, Character said: train, nothing underneath. I'm just
n***d underneath this raincoat. I go to

At 00:05:09,600, Character said: house. He opens the door. I'm about to
whip off the coat. I look over. His mom

At 00:05:13,950, Character said: and dad are sitting at the dining room
table.

At 00:05:17,190, Character said: What did you do?

At 00:05:18,410, Character said: I was starving. I took off the coat, sat
down, and had dinner.

At 00:05:22,610, Character said: Some people say I g***t a million of them,
but you do. You have an actual million.

At 00:05:28,230, Character said: I think we've heard them all today.

At 00:05:32,350, Character said: I've gone on, haven't I? I'm sorry I do
that. Sorry for what? For making our

At 00:05:36,930, Character said: sides ache with laughter?

At 00:05:38,710, Character said: I should go.

At 00:05:39,920, Character said: Oh, you're not going to have dinner with
us?

At 00:05:41,300, Character said: No, I have g***t a date.

At 00:05:43,060, Character said: But it was really nice meeting you. Nice
to meet you.

At 00:05:45,160, Character said: Take care. Bye -bye. I'll walk you out.
Okay, ciao.

At 00:05:47,200, Character said: Ciao. Oh, ciao.

At 00:05:48,940, Character said: I didn't tell you about Anthony.

At 00:05:51,120, Character said: Anthony is a guy I met in the ruins.
Well, it wasn't the real ruins. It was

At 00:05:54,880, Character said: by SeaWorld in San Diego.

At 00:05:58,260, Character said: Hey. What was that?

At 00:06:00,140, Character said: What? Oh, just the sound of my own
voice.

At 00:06:05,210, Character said: Like Teresa, she sure can talk.

At 00:06:07,330, Character said: All you can do is just sit back and
enjoy the show. Yeah, I think that show

At 00:06:10,990, Character said: needs an intermission.

At 00:06:13,670, Character said: What, you don't think she's funny?

At 00:06:15,790, Character said: Yeah, I mean, she's funny, you know.
It's just that, don't you think she's

At 00:06:19,010, Character said: trying a little too hard?

At 00:06:20,290, Character said: I mean, she's so transparent. I mean,
she's just dying for attention. Look at

At 00:06:24,530, Character said: me, look at me, I'm funny. Well, guess
what, Teresa, we see you.

At 00:06:28,870, Character said: How can Adam be friends with somebody
who's so insecure?

At 00:06:32,790, Character said: I mean, you know, I'm funny.

At 00:06:35,150, Character said: I know I'm funny, but I don't need to go
around making sure everybody else knows

At 00:06:38,350, Character said: it. And I know that you think I'm funny,
but I don't need to hear you say that

At 00:06:43,330, Character said: you think I'm funny.

At 00:06:46,570, Character said: Although if you would say it, I mean,
now would be a good time to say it.

At 00:06:51,470, Character said: Ellen, you're funny. Oh, thanks.

At 00:06:54,990, Character said: Can I go now? Yeah. Bye. Bye.

At 00:07:12,330, Character said: in my living room.

At 00:07:13,470, Character said: The boudoir is this way.

At 00:07:20,770, Character said: Don.

At 00:07:22,350, Character said: Don.

At 00:07:23,750, Character said: You're here.

At 00:07:25,610, Character said: I don't know if I really need to see
your bedroom.

At 00:07:29,190, Character said: Wait, wait, wait. Maybe you're not
following me.

At 00:07:32,570, Character said: The captain has granted you...