Married.With.Children.S08E08.Scared.Single.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP5.1.H.264-Azkars_track3_[eng] Subtitles

00:01:16,793 --> 00:01:18,Hi.

00:01:18,661 --> 00:01:22,I'm Billy Ray Wetnap
from Pest Boys Exterminators...

00:01:23,294 --> 00:01:26,...where our motto is,
"There's no bug we can't plug."

00:01:27,561 --> 00:01:30,And to prove it,
our very own Verminator...

00:01:30,461 --> 00:01:32,...has volunteered
to get into this glass cage...

00:01:32,995 --> 00:01:36,...with 10,Peruvian stinging beetles.

00:01:36,795 --> 00:01:40,Stinging beetles?
You said they were gonna be ladybugs.

00:01:45,694 --> 00:01:48,Now, she is armed with nothing
but her Verminator spray gun...

00:01:48,928 --> 00:01:53,...filled with our new poison,
RU Dead 42.

00:01:59,095 --> 00:02:01,It's not working.

00:02:01,195 --> 00:02:04,The reason that the Peruvian
stinging beetle is so large...

00:02:04,328 --> 00:02:08,...is that 80 percent of his body weight
is pure D venom.

00:02:14,695 --> 00:02:19,They don't even lose their stingers
like them sissified African killer bees.

00:02:33,063 --> 00:02:37,Well, it looks like our very own
Verminator's in a little bit of trouble.

00:02:38,495 --> 00:02:43,But you won't be if you call Manny,
me or Ma at Pest Boys Exterminators.

00:02:43,329 --> 00:02:45,Call 1-800-LEGS-UP...

00:02:45,662 --> 00:02:49,...where our motto is,
"If you wish it, we will squish it."

00:02:54,329 --> 00:02:56,Well, Ma, it says right here:

00:02:56,596 --> 00:03:00,"The Peruvian beetle sting
can cause temporary insanity.

00:03:00,329 --> 00:03:02,But on the bright side,
it has a delightful mating call...

00:03:03,063 --> 00:03:04,...and stays crunchy in milk."

00:03:06,296 --> 00:03:09,Well, the doctor said
she seems to be fine.

00:03:10,663 --> 00:03:13,The pods! The pods!
They're opening!

00:03:14,063 --> 00:03:16,Is that you, Napoleon?

00:03:17,663 --> 00:03:19,No, Rhett, it's me.

00:03:19,263 --> 00:03:24,And mark my words,
the South shall rise again.

00:03:25,396 --> 00:03:26,Peg.

00:03:36,164 --> 00:03:39,Peg. Bud.
Man, do I have good news.

00:03:39,396 --> 00:03:42,Al, aren't you forgetting someone?

00:03:43,930 --> 00:03:46,Oh, Peg, she's nuts.

00:03:47,397 --> 00:03:50,Nuts or not,
she is still our daughter.

00:03:50,730 --> 00:03:52,Oh, all right, Peg.

00:03:53,730 --> 00:03:55,Hi, pumpkin.

00:03:56,930 --> 00:04:00,Isn't that cute. I used to call her
pumpkin, now she is one.

00:04:00,930 --> 00:04:03,But, Peg, anyway, like I was saying,
man, I g***t good news.

00:04:04,064 --> 00:04:06,Tomorrow, not only
will I be selling shoes...

00:04:06,464 --> 00:04:08,...I will be selling ladies' handbags.

00:04:11,464 --> 00:04:15,That high school diploma
is really starting to pay off.

00:04:16,097 --> 00:04:17,Anyway, Kelly...

00:04:18,364 --> 00:04:21,...guess who has the job
of hiring the new employee?

00:04:21,531 --> 00:04:25,Oh, now, I wouldn't go
plowing today, Brer Bear.

00:04:30,065 --> 00:04:33,Let me try this one more time
while the liquor stores are open.

00:04:33,497 --> 00:04:35,Al, are you trying to tell us...

00:04:35,531 --> 00:04:38,...that they're gonna put you
in charge of doing the hiring?

00:04:38,597 --> 00:04:42,Yes, I **. And let us hope I pick more
carefully than I've done in the past.

00:04:44,898 --> 00:04:46,I must be careful and selective.

00:04:47,131 --> 00:04:50,I must not hire the first boob
who walks in the door.

00:05:00,365 --> 00:05:01,You're hired.

00:05:03,598 --> 00:05:05,Shouldn't I fill out
an application first?

00:05:07,465 --> 00:05:08,Oh, good idea.

00:05:10,131 --> 00:05:11,Here you are.

00:05:12,498 --> 00:05:15,Right over here. Have a seat.
Get off.

00:05:17,532 --> 00:05:19,You'll be hearing from my lawyer.

00:05:19,532 --> 00:05:22,Threats don't frighten me.
I'm married.

00:05:23,799 --> 00:05:26,To my job,
not to some giant big redhead.

00:05:29,365 --> 00:05:31,Where it says "name,"
do you want mine?

00:05:31,398 --> 00:05:35,No.
Just a simple n***d photo will do.

00:05:43,465 --> 00:05:45,Well, well, well.

00:05:52,166 --> 00:05:53,It's true what they say.

00:05:53,765 --> 00:05:57,Even in hard times
consumers still flock to quality.

00:05:57,665 --> 00:05:59,Excuse me, Al.

00:05:59,199 --> 00:06:01,Is this seat taken?

00:06:01,732 --> 00:06:05,Or this one? Or this one?

00:06:06,799 --> 00:06:08,Marcie, come here.

00:06:10,599 --> 00:06:13,Look. There's a woman.

00:06:14,533 --> 00:06:16,Aren't they something?

00:06:18,566 --> 00:06:20,So, what do you want?

00:06:20,499 --> 00:06:24,Jefferson has something to say.
Jefferson?

00:06:25,099 --> 00:06:27,Yeah, Al, I'm--

00:06:27,199 --> 00:06:30,I'm here to apply for the j--

00:06:30,599 --> 00:06:33,-For the j--
-Job! Job! Say it!

00:06:34,332 --> 00:06:36,I ** tired of coming home
every night...

00:06:36,299 --> 00:06:39,....and finding you watching
the Home Shopping Network.

00:06:40,200 --> 00:06:43,Look, Marcie, I don't know
the first thing about selling shoes.

00:06:43,332 --> 00:06:45,Is this the right color for me?

00:06:46,366 --> 00:06:49,Absolutely.
It brings out the violet in your eyes.

00:06:50,699 --> 00:06:52,I'll take 12.

00:07:00,467 --> 00:07:04,I'm sorry, Marcie. But the job
has already been filled by someone...

00:07:04,666 --> 00:07:05,...far more qualified.

00:07:06,167 --> 00:07:10,Mr. Bundy, where it says "date," do
you want his name or where we went?

00:07:13,966 --> 00:07:18,That's Heidi. She's dumb
as toast, but I'd kill for her.

00:07:18,933 --> 00:07:20,And I'd start with you.

00:07:21,167 --> 00:07:23,You piece of algae.

00:07:24,333 --> 00:07:27,If you think that I **
going to stand idly by...

00:07:27,734 --> 00:07:31,...and let you hire
some salute to silicone...

00:07:33,101 --> 00:07:36,...instead of an obviously qualified
person, then you're wrong, Al Bundy.

00:07:37,134 --> 00:07:41,I'll have my woman's group here so
fast it'll make your bulbous head swim.

00:07:41,467 --> 00:07:44,My Jefferson is
far more qualified than--

00:07:53,368 --> 00:07:58,I'm not just a shoe salesman.
I also direct movies for HBO.

00:08:02,667 --> 00:08:04,Let's go, Jefferson.

00:08:04,301 --> 00:08:06,Marcie, I thought you wanted me
to get a job.

00:08:06,700 --> 00:08:09,Your job is pleasing me,
and I ** not pleased.

00:08:12,967 --> 00:08:14,That's my mom.

00:08:16,802 --> 00:08:19,"S***x." This could take a while.

00:08:19,568 --> 00:08:21,Can I write on the back?
The front's all full.

00:08:21,868 --> 00:08:24,Yes, yes. And feel free to move around
if you want to.

00:08:27,268 --> 00:08:29,I'm here to apply
for the shoe salesman's job.

00:08:29,768 --> 00:08:32,Job's taken. Get out.

00:08:34,069 --> 00:08:35,Polk High?

00:08:36,668 --> 00:08:39,Oh, Polk you're the best
Of all the schools

00:08:40,102 --> 00:08:42,-For you we'll always cheer
-For you we'll always cheer

00:08:42,568 --> 00:08:44,-By day we learn to read and write
-By day we learn to read and write

00:08:45,102 --> 00:08:47,-By night our team will fight, fight, fight
-By night our team will fight, fight, fight

00:08:47,668 --> 00:08:49,-No matter where we are
-No matter where we are

00:08:50,102 --> 00:08:52,-We'll always give a:
-We'll always give a:

00:08:52,369 --> 00:08:54,-For P-O-L-K
-P-O-L-K

00:08:54,968 --> 00:08:57,-Polk. Polk. Polk
-Polk. Polk. Polk.

00:08:59,002 --> 00:09:00,Aaron Mitchell. Class of '93.

00:09:00,768 --> 00:09:04,Al Bundy. All class, all the time.

00:09:10,102 --> 00:09:11,Wait a second.

00:09:12,102 --> 00:09:14,Al Bundy?

00:09:15,169 --> 00:09:16,The All-State Al Bundy?

00:09:17,269 --> 00:09:18,I was.

00:09:19,569 --> 00:09:22,-I thought you died in Nam.
-No.

00:09:23,602 --> 00:09:26,Well, actually, I started that rumor.

00:09:26,269 --> 00:09:30,Yeah, see, I died here at home,
victim of Agent Red.

00:09:32,102 --> 00:09:35,Al Bundy. Do you know
what a hero you are to me?

00:09:35,302 --> 00:09:38,I presume you're referring
to my four touchdowns in one game.

00:09:39,003 --> 00:09:41,Well, that and the four holes
you drilled into the walls...

00:09:42,070 --> 00:09:44,...of the girls locker room.

00:09:45,502 --> 00:09:47,For years I didn't think
women had heads.

00:09:53,869 --> 00:09:57,-Well, I see you play a little ball.
-No, no, no. You played ball.

00:09:57,803 --> 00:10:00,I was just All City.
I was lucky to get a scholarship.

00:10:00,403 --> 00:10:02,-I g***t a scholarship to college.
-And what happened?

00:10:03,170 --> 00:10:06,An injury. Tackle broke my leg.
Wife broke her water. The end.

00:10:08,203 --> 00:10:09,But......