Ellen s01e11 The Boyfriend Stealer Subtitles

00:00:05,260 --> 00:00:06,Boom. It's all set up.

00:00:06,960 --> 00:00:08,Want me to show you how to use this
thing?

00:00:08,620 --> 00:00:11,Uh -uh. Looks pretty self -explanatory.
Feet here, arms there, and I'm off.

00:00:12,080 --> 00:00:13,Enjoy. Thanks.

00:00:58,190 --> 00:00:59,quite a workout.

00:02:07,080 --> 00:02:08,Hold it.

00:02:08,460 --> 00:02:11,It appears you gentlemen are shoplifting
and not very well, I might add.

00:02:12,580 --> 00:02:13,Good morning, Ellen.

00:02:13,920 --> 00:02:14,Susan, hi.

00:02:14,640 --> 00:02:19,Oh, good. You already started. Okay. I
need this whole area cleared out. The

00:02:19,660 --> 00:02:21,tables and chairs will be delivered in
an hour.

00:02:23,480 --> 00:02:25,That's right. The whole area. One hour.
Let's get cracking.

00:02:28,540 --> 00:02:30,So, are we making some changes around
here?

00:02:31,240 --> 00:02:36,Yes. I've decided to take part of the
bookstore and turn it into a coffee

00:02:36,510 --> 00:02:38,I've hired someone who'll be in charge.

00:02:39,110 --> 00:02:42,Oh. Well, guess you'll be getting rid of
me then, huh?

00:02:44,930 --> 00:02:46,You're not getting rid of me, are you?

00:02:47,470 --> 00:02:48,Why would I do that?

00:02:48,910 --> 00:02:51,I don't know. I mean, it's just that you
made all these changes around here and

00:02:51,710 --> 00:02:52,you didn't tell me.

00:02:52,530 --> 00:02:55,Not that you have to tell me. You are
the boss and I ** the bossy.

00:02:56,310 --> 00:02:57,It's going to be very exciting.

00:02:58,090 --> 00:03:01,I've stolen away Joe Farrell from the
Café London.

00:03:01,730 --> 00:03:04,He's one of the city's best young
brewmasters.

00:03:04,750 --> 00:03:05,Room master.

00:03:05,630 --> 00:03:07,I like that. Can I be the book master?

00:03:08,810 --> 00:03:11,Ellen, you will be Joe's immediate
superior.

00:03:11,650 --> 00:03:13,I hope you're comfortable with that.

00:03:13,810 --> 00:03:14,Are you kidding me?

00:03:15,110 --> 00:03:16,Comfortable? I'm cozy.

00:03:18,050 --> 00:03:19,Snuggled right up to that idea.

00:03:20,210 --> 00:03:21,I will have a staff.

00:03:22,310 --> 00:03:23,I will have people.

00:03:24,430 --> 00:03:25,And I will be good to them.

00:03:27,650 --> 00:03:29,Yes, well, whatever.

00:03:39,270 --> 00:03:40,I'm bookmaster.

00:03:44,410 --> 00:03:46,I'm so excited. I get to have my first
employee.

00:03:47,310 --> 00:03:48,I think it's going to be great.

00:03:49,290 --> 00:03:50,What do I do?

00:03:50,810 --> 00:03:52,I'll tell you what I try to do with my
people.

00:03:52,610 --> 00:03:53,What people? Well, person.

00:03:54,230 --> 00:03:55,I thought he quit.

00:03:55,950 --> 00:03:57,Well, actually, it was promoted. He's
now my boss.

00:03:59,190 --> 00:04:01,But with me, he's tough but fair.

00:04:01,490 --> 00:04:02,Good, good.

00:04:02,970 --> 00:04:05,Okay, if you're going to criticize
someone, start out with a compliment.

00:04:06,880 --> 00:04:09,Hey, that's a nice shirt you're wearing,
but that's stupid advice.

00:04:10,540 --> 00:04:11,Well done. Thanks.

00:04:12,440 --> 00:04:13,What else?

00:04:14,440 --> 00:04:19,Demand punctuality, hairnets around
food, and don't take any guff.

00:04:20,560 --> 00:04:21,Don't take any guff.

00:04:22,200 --> 00:04:24,I'm not sure I know what guff is, but I
won't take any.

00:04:25,200 --> 00:04:26,No guff.

00:04:26,180 --> 00:04:27,Not even a gufflet.

00:04:28,860 --> 00:04:30,Hi, guys. Hi. Hello,

00:04:31,200 --> 00:04:32,Steve. How are you doing?

00:04:32,440 --> 00:04:35,We were just on our way out to dinner,
and we thought we'd stop by.

00:04:36,880 --> 00:04:38,It's our three -week anniversary.

00:04:38,940 --> 00:04:39,We're at the time gone.

00:04:43,540 --> 00:04:46,What is the traditional gift for three
weeks of dating? Actually, I think it's

00:04:46,800 --> 00:04:49,favor. You guys doing anything tomorrow
night?

00:04:49,360 --> 00:04:52,Oh, in fact, we are celebrating the 98th
week anniversary of our being

00:04:52,960 --> 00:04:53,roommates.

00:04:54,060 --> 00:04:55,What are you getting me?

00:04:56,360 --> 00:04:59,Well, you see, there's this really big
fight tomorrow night. Of course.

00:04:59,460 --> 00:05:00,Holyfield Bow 3.

00:05:00,720 --> 00:05:03,Well, I don't have cable in where Steve
lives. They don't have pay -per -view.

00:05:03,640 --> 00:05:06,Oh, sure. Watch it here. That'd be
great. Oh, very cool. I'm looking

00:05:06,980 --> 00:05:08,this fight. Me too.

00:05:09,080 --> 00:05:11,You? You're looking forward to boxing?

00:05:11,540 --> 00:05:13,You have to leave the room when Siskel
disagrees with Ebert.

00:05:14,760 --> 00:05:18,Steve and I have watched some fights
together, and I kind of like it.

00:05:20,480 --> 00:05:26,You see, boxing is very primal, very
animal, and many women find it e***c.

00:05:27,180 --> 00:05:28,Oh, yeah, very e***c.

00:05:29,280 --> 00:05:34,Especially when their eyes swell shut
and blood is dribbling down their faces.

00:05:34,420 --> 00:05:35,When they spit into the bucket.

00:05:37,360 --> 00:05:38,Sometimes they even vomit.

00:05:39,300 --> 00:05:41,Oh, catch me.

00:05:42,000 --> 00:05:43,G***t ya.

00:05:47,600 --> 00:05:51,Man, Ellen, you really crack me up. I
would love to sit next to you at a

00:05:51,700 --> 00:05:54,match. Are you crazy? I wouldn't say
these things at a boxing match. A fight

00:05:54,900 --> 00:05:55,might break out.

00:06:02,440 --> 00:06:03,I'm up for it. Ellen.

00:06:05,280 --> 00:06:07,Spitting, vomiting, try and keep me
away.

00:06:07,900 --> 00:06:08,Oh, great.

00:06:09,660 --> 00:06:11,Thank you so much.

00:06:11,360 --> 00:06:12,This is terrific.

00:06:12,340 --> 00:06:16,Okay, we'll see you guys tomorrow night.
Bye -bye. Happy anniversary.

00:06:17,400 --> 00:06:18,Bye -bye.

00:06:19,420 --> 00:06:22,Please tell me you saw it this time.

00:06:22,940 --> 00:06:26,What? He kissed me. He couldn't keep his
hands off me.

00:06:26,780 --> 00:06:28,I've been in bed with men who haven't
touched me that much.

00:06:30,120 --> 00:06:31,He's just the kind of guy he is.

00:06:32,190 --> 00:06:33,Doesn't mean anything.

00:06:33,570 --> 00:06:36,I mean, he's patted my behind a couple
of times.

00:06:38,250 --> 00:06:42,He's patted your rear end? Well, not
like, oh my, that's soft and delightful.

00:06:42,910 --> 00:06:45,Like, attaboy, nice tackle.

00:06:46,910 --> 00:06:49,I'm telling you, he's clearly hitting on
me. I've g***t to tell her.

00:06:49,650 --> 00:06:50,Stay out of it.

00:06:51,430 --> 00:06:55,What kind of best friend ** I if I don't
stick my nose in her personal life?

00:06:56,350 --> 00:06:58,I've g***t to tell her. I just wish I had
proof.

00:06:58,990 --> 00:07:00,Well, if you need proof, get proof.

00:07:01,520 --> 00:07:02,You know, get him alone.

00:07:03,060 --> 00:07:04,See if he makes a move.

00:07:05,020 --> 00:07:06,Maybe you lure him in a little bit.

00:07:07,300 --> 00:07:08,Lure him in? Like what?

00:07:09,220 --> 00:07:13,Um, Steve, I seem to have spilled some
Chardonnay on my blouse. Could you help

00:07:13,860 --> 00:07:16,me get it off?

00:07:27,980 --> 00:07:29,Hi. How are you doing?

00:07:43,370 --> 00:07:45,Not that you have to punch a clock
around here. I'm not that kind of a

00:07:46,290 --> 00:07:48,Even though I ** the boss.

00:07:49,210 --> 00:07:51,Yeah, Susan told me you're in charge,
and that's good.

00:07:52,310 --> 00:07:53,Because I'm going to need some things.

00:07:54,030 --> 00:07:56,Some number four industrial -sized
bleach -free filters.

00:07:56,990 --> 00:07:57,Give me a growth.

00:07:58,070 --> 00:07:59,I'm going to need some Demitasse cups.

00:08:00,030 --> 00:08:02,Not this lead -tainted South American
crap.

00:08:02,810 --> 00:08:05,We'll have to have a lot more tables and
chairs.

00:08:05,710 --> 00:08:08,As soon as word gets out that I'm here,
this place is going to be jumping.

00:08:11,120 --> 00:08:12,Do we need all these books?

00:08:14,600 --> 00:08:16,Well, the customers kind of like them.

00:08:17,260 --> 00:08:18,Here's the good news.

00:08:18,460 --> 00:08:23,I will start your morning off with a
special cup of my brew, free of charge.

00:08:23,660 --> 00:08:26,Now, this is the good stuff. Only one
cup a day.

00:08:26,480 --> 00:08:27,Don't let it get around.

00:08:29,300 --> 00:08:30,Ooh, I don't like coffee.

00:08:34,740 --> 00:08:35,What was that?

00:08:36,500 --> 00:08:39,I don't drink coffee. It just tastes
bitter.

00:08:41,350 --> 00:08:42,Bitter. Well, not bitter angry.

00:08:44,430 --> 00:08:45,But, you know, bitter yuck.

00:08:46,850 --> 00:08:49,I know what you're going to say. Try
putting sugar in it. How many times have

00:08:49,570 --> 00:08:52,heard that in my life? I've tried that,
and to me it still tastes like a big old

00:08:52,010 --> 00:08:53,hot cup of moldy feet.

00:08:55,950 --> 00:08:56,I see.

00:08:57,990 --> 00:08:59,I like tea. Do you make tea?

00:09:00,210 -->...