V. H. S. Halloween. 2025. 720p. AMZN. WEB-DL. DDP5. 1. H. 264-BFM Subtitles

00:01:08,000 --> 00:01:12,I'm gonna have a few people
that you need to meet today.

00:01:12,379 --> 00:01:14,You might want to
introduce yourself.

00:01:14,172 --> 00:01:15,I think that'd be good.
-Yeah.

00:01:15,586 --> 00:01:17,What was your name again?
-Uh, Linda.

00:01:17,655 --> 00:01:19,Linda.

00:01:22,000 --> 00:01:23,Fantastic.

00:01:23,896 --> 00:01:26,Hi. Blaine.

00:01:28,103 --> 00:01:29,Okay.

00:01:29,482 --> 00:01:30,We're excited to have you guys.

00:01:30,758 --> 00:01:33,You guys excited
to try some sodas?

00:01:36,551 --> 00:01:39,Yeah. See you guys soon.

00:01:39,586 --> 00:01:41,Thank you.

00:02:05,344 --> 00:02:07,Hello, 37.

00:02:07,896 --> 00:02:10,Uh, hello.

00:02:10,517 --> 00:02:12,We're thrilled to be
testing our new product

00:02:12,931 --> 00:02:14,here in the United Kingdom

00:02:14,551 --> 00:02:18,and so happy that you could
be a part of our journey.

00:02:18,172 --> 00:02:19,-Thanks. Uh...
-Super.

00:02:19,448 --> 00:02:22,Do you enjoy soda?

00:02:22,413 --> 00:02:24,-Uh, yeah, actually.
-Great.

00:02:24,310 --> 00:02:29,Now, in front of you is our test
formula for our new product.

00:02:29,586 --> 00:02:33,It's called Diet Phantasma.

00:02:33,655 --> 00:02:35,Diet?

00:02:35,206 --> 00:02:36,Trust me, 37.

00:02:36,931 --> 00:02:41,This has all the taste
of original Phantasma.

00:02:41,586 --> 00:02:43,Now...
-Why ** I hooked up

00:02:43,172 --> 00:02:44,to all these wires?

00:02:44,310 --> 00:02:46,No interruptions, please.

00:02:46,413 --> 00:02:48,Now, the wires...

00:02:48,482 --> 00:02:49,there's no need to
worry about them.

00:02:49,862 --> 00:02:52,They're just there
so that the boffins

00:02:52,344 --> 00:02:54,can get a reading.

00:02:55,068 --> 00:02:56,Okay.

00:02:56,758 --> 00:02:57,Perfect.

00:02:57,862 --> 00:03:00,Now open the can

00:03:01,034 --> 00:03:05,and enjoy the spooktacular taste

00:03:05,827 --> 00:03:09,of Diet Phantasma.

00:03:09,206 --> 00:03:10,-Drink it now?
-Yes.

00:03:10,758 --> 00:03:12,That would mean drink it now.

00:03:25,482 --> 00:03:27,All right, um...

00:03:27,965 --> 00:03:29,It tastes like...

00:03:41,206 --> 00:03:43,Help!

00:03:46,862 --> 00:03:49,Ahh!

00:03:57,310 --> 00:03:58,Pulse setting 31.

00:04:11,793 --> 00:04:14,Can someone get in
there and clean it up?!

00:04:38,206 --> 00:04:39,-Okay. Is it on?
-Yeah. Do it.

00:04:42,965 --> 00:04:44,S***y.

00:04:44,689 --> 00:04:46,Sick as f***k.

00:04:46,379 --> 00:04:47,Take it off.

00:04:47,896 --> 00:04:50,That's crazy.

00:04:50,413 --> 00:04:51,I'm sorry.
-Just take it.

00:04:51,517 --> 00:04:54,I'm trying.

00:04:56,103 --> 00:04:59,Welcome to our final
Halloween on planet Earth

00:04:59,586 --> 00:05:02,before we become lame-a***s
taxpaying adults.

00:05:02,655 --> 00:05:04,Right?
-We're going to college,

00:05:04,172 --> 00:05:06,not a nursing home.
-No, I have to watch

00:05:06,137 --> 00:05:09,my best friend Kaleigh turn
into a Yale clone in real time

00:05:09,517 --> 00:05:12,while I sit here and rot in MCC.

00:05:13,068 --> 00:05:14,Tell the people...

00:05:14,896 --> 00:05:17,are you too good for us
now, Kaleigh Franklin, hmm?

00:05:17,827 --> 00:05:20,Um, as a future member of
the Yale class of 2009,

00:05:20,310 --> 00:05:23,yes, absolutely. Thank
you so much for asking.

00:05:24,586 --> 00:05:26,I'm kidding.

00:05:26,758 --> 00:05:28,I love you, dude.
Don't be annoying.

00:05:28,620 --> 00:05:29,-Annoying?
-Yeah, annoying.

00:05:29,827 --> 00:05:31,-Annoying?
-You're annoying.

00:05:31,344 --> 00:05:33,I'm doing us a service
by filming this, okay?

00:05:33,241 --> 00:05:35,Our future selves are
going to look back

00:05:35,172 --> 00:05:36,and remember what it
felt like to be legends

00:05:36,896 --> 00:05:38,before our titties
started to sag.

00:05:38,655 --> 00:05:39,What the hell is wrong with you?

00:05:40,034 --> 00:05:42,You are the freaking
worst, you know?

00:05:42,413 --> 00:05:43,Someone needs to experiment
on your brain, okay?

00:05:43,965 --> 00:05:46,Come on. Last Halloween, bitch.

00:05:46,931 --> 00:05:48,Fine.

00:05:49,896 --> 00:05:52,Okay, just... We're
not getting arrested!

00:05:52,172 --> 00:05:53,What? The police would...

00:05:53,827 --> 00:05:55,-Jesus God!
-Oh, my f***g f***k!

00:05:55,931 --> 00:05:57,The Mommy's gonna get you!

00:05:57,931 --> 00:06:00,The Mommy's gonna get you!
-Are you f***g serious?

00:06:00,172 --> 00:06:01,-Really?
-You're too old

00:06:01,965 --> 00:06:03,to trick-or-treat.
She's gonna make you

00:06:03,758 --> 00:06:05,disappear forever,
you ugly old lady.

00:06:05,793 --> 00:06:07,Aw, is the mommy
witch gonna make me

00:06:07,310 --> 00:06:09,one of her milk-sucking
babies like you?

00:06:09,137 --> 00:06:11,-Bitch face!
-Yeah, what he said!

00:06:11,896 --> 00:06:13,Where are your f***g parents?

00:06:13,793 --> 00:06:17,-The mommy's not real!
-Oh, my God.

00:06:17,310 --> 00:06:20,Literally. Like, do you
like yelling at 8-year-olds?

00:06:20,413 --> 00:06:21,-Yes, I do.
-Okay.

00:06:21,724 --> 00:06:22,What? They're misogynists, okay?

00:06:23,068 --> 00:06:24,And besides, ugly
old ladies? Please.

00:06:25,034 --> 00:06:26,You're literally the one who
was talking about sagging t***s.

00:06:27,000 --> 00:06:29,Yeah, well, like it or
not, it's the truth, okay?

00:06:29,793 --> 00:06:32,God. Word. Can we
go get some candy?

00:06:32,448 --> 00:06:35,It's baby time.

00:06:41,827 --> 00:06:44,Trick or treat, Grandpa!

00:06:44,586 --> 00:06:47,Sorry.

00:06:47,655 --> 00:06:49,Aren't you girls a
little too old for this?

00:06:49,241 --> 00:06:52,What do you mean, sir?
I'm just a little baby.

00:06:52,827 --> 00:06:55,I can't.
-Take it. Go, go, go, go, go!

00:06:57,724 --> 00:06:59,-Hey!
-Go, go!

00:06:59,862 --> 00:07:01,No. Lacie. Oh, my God!

00:07:01,827 --> 00:07:04,"Please take one"?

00:07:04,379 --> 00:07:06,-Oh, man.
-Take them all.

00:07:06,137 --> 00:07:08,My queen.
-My darling. My lady.

00:07:08,206 --> 00:07:10,Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,

00:07:10,172 --> 00:07:11,wait, wait, wait, wait!

00:07:11,620 --> 00:07:12,Thank you.

00:07:15,310 --> 00:07:18,Seduce him. Seduce him!

00:07:18,620 --> 00:07:22,Oh, my God.

00:07:22,206 --> 00:07:23,I think Danny's cute, yes.
-Okay.

00:07:24,000 --> 00:07:25,-I don't think Matt is cute.
-No, that's valid.

00:07:26,000 --> 00:07:27,Receding hairline
and all, you know?

00:07:30,724 --> 00:07:32,After last year's Halloween,

00:07:32,103 --> 00:07:33,I do not like them
out here alone.

00:07:34,034 --> 00:07:35,That girl was
barely 18 years old.

00:07:35,724 --> 00:07:37,-I mean, she was still a senior.
-Trick or treat!

00:07:37,620 --> 00:07:40,Dude, did you hear them?
That was this neighborhood.

00:07:40,862 --> 00:07:42,-Huh?
-Stop. Listen.

00:07:42,793 --> 00:07:44,The girl from Brighton High,
the one who went missing

00:07:44,655 --> 00:07:46,last year on Halloween.

00:07:46,620 --> 00:07:49,Hello? Remember?
-Oh, yeah!

00:07:49,689 --> 00:07:50,Eh, she was kind
of asking for it

00:07:50,965 --> 00:07:52,in that slutty
cheerleader costume.

00:07:52,793 --> 00:07:54,Have you read any
feminist texts?

00:07:54,655 --> 00:07:56,-Jesus Christ, Kaleigh.
-Any books at all?

00:07:56,379 --> 00:07:57,Down. Down. No, too down.

00:07:57,827 --> 00:07:59,Go up. Oh, my God.
Split the difference.

00:07:59,275 --> 00:08:00,In the middle. In the
middle. No, you had it.

00:08:00,862 --> 00:08:02,You had it. Okay, perfect.
-Ready?

00:08:02,206 --> 00:08:04,-Ready, ready.
-Five, six.

00:08:06,862 --> 00:08:08,-Okay, harmony!
-♪ The candy ♪

00:08:08,310 --> 00:08:10,-Okay, harmony.
-♪ Spirit of Halloween ♪

00:08:10,931 --> 00:08:12,Don't throw your candy at
me. That's the holy candy.

00:08:12,896 --> 00:08:14,Girl, can you switch with me?

00:08:14,793 --> 00:08:16,I don't like the one I'm eating.
-No.

00:08:16,758 --> 00:08:18,-Why?
-Okay, fine. What do you want?

00:08:18,758 --> 00:08:20,-I dunno.
-Well, then figure it out.

00:08:20,724 --> 00:08:22,Don't spit it. Come on, dude.

00:08:22,517 --> 00:08:24,-Holy s***t.
-What?

00:08:24,862 --> 00:08:26,How the f***k did
we miss that one?

00:08:26,620 --> 00:08:28,I don't know.

00:08:30,620 --> 00:08:32,Bitch.

00:08:32,310 --> 00:08:34,-Oh, s***t.
-They definitely have

00:08:34,586 --> 00:08:37,king-sized candy bars. Come on!

00:08:37,551 --> 00:08:40,God d***n.

00:08:40,206 --> 00:08:41,That little girl
didn't want any candy?

00:08:41,689 --> 00:08:43,So? who cares?
More candy for us.

00:08:43,379 --> 00:08:44,Let's go!
-Oh, God.

00:08:44,827 --> 00:08:47,Faster, bitch! You
run like my grandma!

00:08:47,586 --> 00:08:49,So sick.

00:08:49,620 --> 00:08:52,-Any day now.
-I'm coming.

00:08:55,758 --> 00:08:57,"Twick or tweat."

00:08:57,482 --> 00:08:59,Hello?

00:09:06,068 --> 00:09:07,744...