The Man From U.N.C.L.E. S01E18 The Mad, Mad, Tea Party Affair.eng Movie Subtitles

00:01:21,964 --> 00:01:23,Hey, Bill.

00:01:31,641 --> 00:01:32,Hello, you're just in time.

00:01:33,109 --> 00:01:35,I'm in need of a ground crew.
Would you like to volunteer?

00:01:36,079 --> 00:01:39,- Sure.
- All right. Each of you hold a wing tip.

00:01:40,683 --> 00:01:44,Now, on the count
of three, let go.

00:01:46,122 --> 00:01:47,Are you ready?

00:01:48,257 --> 00:01:51,One, two, three, go.

00:02:09,645 --> 00:02:12,Hey, aren't you gonna turn it
around pretty soon? You could lose it.

00:02:12,949 --> 00:02:16,Well, as a matter of fact, it's
not supposed to come back.

00:02:16,285 --> 00:02:18,It's what you might
call a suicide mission.

00:02:42,578 --> 00:02:45,It's the radar room. Come on.

00:03:00,463 --> 00:03:02,It locked onto us
almost a minute ago.

00:03:02,532 --> 00:03:04,Collision course with
the top floor of this...

00:03:04,869 --> 00:03:05,Minute ago?

00:03:05,668 --> 00:03:07,That means it must
be moving very slowly.

00:03:08,504 --> 00:03:11,Very. I've never seen
anything quite like it on radar.

00:03:11,474 --> 00:03:14,See if our roof camera
can give us a visual fix.

00:03:17,747 --> 00:03:19,Let's try some magnification.

00:03:29,959 --> 00:03:31,It's only a toy.

00:03:32,495 --> 00:03:33,Maybe.

00:03:33,996 --> 00:03:35,Five hundred yards and closing.

00:03:37,767 --> 00:03:40,That can't represent a
threat. It's not big enough.

00:03:40,236 --> 00:03:43,They make a nuclear warhead the
size of a flashlight. It's big enough.

00:03:43,806 --> 00:03:45,Four hundred yards and closing.

00:03:45,908 --> 00:03:48,I think it's time to take
in the welcome mat, Illya.

00:03:48,678 --> 00:03:50,The laser beam?

00:03:50,213 --> 00:03:52,Yeah. Set it for
250 yards, destruct.

00:04:10,867 --> 00:04:14,- Set for 250. WOMAN: Three
hundred yards and closing.

00:04:14,770 --> 00:04:16,Two-seven-five.

00:04:16,505 --> 00:04:18,Two-six-five.

00:04:18,441 --> 00:04:20,Two-five-five.

00:04:20,309 --> 00:04:22,And bingo.

00:04:24,180 --> 00:04:25,Malfunction. Hit
the second beam.

00:04:26,015 --> 00:04:27,Two hundred yards and closing.

00:04:29,485 --> 00:04:30,We can't stop it.

00:04:32,221 --> 00:04:34,Take cover. Headquarters
is under attack.

00:04:34,624 --> 00:04:37,You have 20 seconds. Take cover.
The blast will come from above.

00:04:38,027 --> 00:04:39,Take cover.

00:04:39,829 --> 00:04:41,One hundred yards minus.

00:04:44,634 --> 00:04:47,I think you can leave the
rest to our imaginations.

00:04:59,815 --> 00:05:01,Dud?

00:05:58,708 --> 00:06:01,"Boom. You're dead."

00:06:17,360 --> 00:06:20,Incredible.
Absolutely incredible.

00:06:20,429 --> 00:06:22,Yes, sir. That's
what we thought.

00:06:22,965 --> 00:06:25,The delivery system.

00:06:25,768 --> 00:06:27,Has it been examined
yet for clues...

00:06:27,703 --> 00:06:28,as to who assembled it?

00:06:29,071 --> 00:06:32,No. Riley, our detection expert,
hasn't checked in this morning.

00:06:32,241 --> 00:06:37,When he does arrive, inform him that he's
to work directly with you and Mr. Kuryakin.

00:06:37,480 --> 00:06:41,We must make absolutely certain that
no such breach of security occurs again.

00:06:41,717 --> 00:06:42,Especially not today.

00:06:44,420 --> 00:06:45,The meeting?

00:06:46,155 --> 00:06:48,The so-called "Closet
Summit" begins in our

00:06:48,601 --> 00:06:50,conference suite in
less than eight hours.

00:06:51,160 --> 00:06:54,We better put the entire building
under yellow alert for the rest of the day.

00:06:55,164 --> 00:06:58,We wouldn't want anymore
embarrassing little lapses.

00:06:58,501 --> 00:07:01,Particularly when we're playing
host to the world's top leaders.

00:07:01,637 --> 00:07:05,It's vital that we know how
the attacker did what he did.

00:07:05,708 --> 00:07:09,Therefore, should he strike again
you must take him alive and unharmed.

00:07:09,578 --> 00:07:10,That is mandatory.

00:07:11,013 --> 00:07:15,Well, you mean, don't
shoot unless he shoots first?

00:07:15,751 --> 00:07:18,I mean, Mr. Solo,
don't shoot at all.

00:07:39,809 --> 00:07:41,Riley is usually most punctual.

00:07:41,844 --> 00:07:45,Seems to me he said something about
a doctor's appointment. He'll be along.

00:08:01,597 --> 00:08:03,Riley.

00:08:03,732 --> 00:08:05,I was just checking
this out for you.

00:08:05,801 --> 00:08:10,Thrush is issuing a few of these
to our more important agents.

00:08:10,172 --> 00:08:14,Well, it's nice to know that I'm
considered to be one of the elite.

00:08:14,643 --> 00:08:15,What is it?

00:08:16,078 --> 00:08:18,It's an ordinary fountain pen...

00:08:18,414 --> 00:08:22,until you twist this to
the right then to the left.

00:08:23,385 --> 00:08:25,Press that lever.

00:08:26,021 --> 00:08:27,It's armed.

00:08:29,992 --> 00:08:34,This weapon transmits an ultra-sonic
concussion of tremendous force.

00:08:35,264 --> 00:08:37,You press it against
the head of your...

00:08:43,506 --> 00:08:46,The brain, in effect,
is homogenized.

00:08:47,409 --> 00:08:49,Death is
instantaneous, of course.

00:08:55,284 --> 00:08:57,Oh, you needn't worry.
It's completely harmless.

00:08:58,420 --> 00:09:01,Until you c***k it again.

00:09:03,025 --> 00:09:05,Any particular reason
that I'm getting this today?

00:09:06,295 --> 00:09:08,Yes. The meeting.

00:09:10,933 --> 00:09:16,We believe it will take place this evening
at the headquarters of the U.N.C.L.E.

00:09:17,139 --> 00:09:20,I've been waiting
a long time for this.

00:09:20,176 --> 00:09:22,All of Thrush has been waiting.

00:09:23,445 --> 00:09:24,Now, once and for all...

00:09:25,114 --> 00:09:28,U.N.C.L.E. will be
completely discredited.

00:09:31,053 --> 00:09:34,With some of the world's most
important people being blown to bits...

00:09:34,423 --> 00:09:37,under U.N.C.L.E.'s
very own roof...

00:09:37,660 --> 00:09:40,"discredited" would
hardly cover it.

00:09:43,632 --> 00:09:47,Now let's recap. Go through
the plan with me once more.

00:09:47,503 --> 00:09:50,- But it's such an absurdly simple...
- Please.

00:09:50,973 --> 00:09:53,Indulge me.

00:09:53,242 --> 00:09:56,I enjoy hearing my
own brilliance confirmed.

00:09:58,314 --> 00:09:59,All right.

00:10:00,916 --> 00:10:03,The operation began months
ago when I discovered...

00:10:03,485 --> 00:10:06,that the conference suite at
U.N.C.L.E. was to be redecorated.

00:10:06,855 --> 00:10:08,We located...

00:10:10,826 --> 00:10:12,You located the furniture
manufacturer who

00:10:12,901 --> 00:10:15,was custom building
the conference table...

00:10:15,197 --> 00:10:19,and managed to plant an explosive
in the table just before it was delivered.

00:10:19,768 --> 00:10:21,On the table.

00:10:22,137 --> 00:10:26,The entire tabletop is a
layer of plastic explosive...

00:10:26,208 --> 00:10:28,about a half an inch thick.

00:10:29,211 --> 00:10:32,Enough to demolish the
entire floor of the building.

00:10:32,615 --> 00:10:33,Right.

00:10:33,983 --> 00:10:38,Now, this particular plastic
requires an explosion to detonate it.

00:10:38,454 --> 00:10:42,And as a trigger, we
devised an ashtray.

00:10:42,825 --> 00:10:46,An ashtray made from a
different type of plastic explosive.

00:10:46,562 --> 00:10:49,One that is detonated
by heat alone.

00:10:49,198 --> 00:10:52,- The heat from a lighted cigarette.
- Excellent.

00:10:52,635 --> 00:10:55,Excellent, that's
the beauty part.

00:10:56,739 --> 00:11:00,That table has been sitting
there, absolutely harmless...

00:11:00,175 --> 00:11:03,just waiting for
the trigger device.

00:11:03,178 --> 00:11:07,And this afternoon, I'll put the
lethal ashtray on the conference table.

00:11:07,416 --> 00:11:09,There are bound to be
smokers at the meeting.

00:11:10,019 --> 00:11:15,And exactly 15 seconds after it
has been touched by a hot cigarette...

00:11:15,891 --> 00:11:18,the ashtray goes "bang."

00:11:18,527 --> 00:11:19,And the table goes "boom."

00:11:20,029 --> 00:11:22,And we write off
U.N.C.L.E. as a world power.

00:11:24,533 --> 00:11:26,Now for your
final instructions...

00:11:26,735 --> 00:11:29,we're abandoning
this cover as of today.

00:11:29,338 --> 00:11:32,You will use one of the
prearranged escape routes.

00:11:32,274 --> 00:11:33,You mean...

00:11:34,109 --> 00:11:35,I won't be seeing you again?

00:11:35,978 --> 00:11:38,Well, if you do, you
won't recognize me.

00:11:38,714 --> 00:11:42,Don't worry, someone will be
contacting you along the way.

00:11:43,886 --> 00:11:47,Hard to believe that I won't
recognize...