Modern Family S10E06 On the Same Paige Movie Subtitles

00:00:05,239 --> 00:00:06,I don't remember buying

00:00:06,507 --> 00:00:08,these fresh peaches.

00:00:08,542 --> 00:00:09,Aah!

00:00:09,910 --> 00:00:11,Apologies, Serge.

00:00:11,345 --> 00:00:12,My wife, Claire,
seems to have forgotten

00:00:12,880 --> 00:00:14,that I'm holding office hours

00:00:14,215 --> 00:00:16,for my Intro to Real Estate
class here at home.

00:00:16,417 --> 00:00:18,So, when I walked
to the laundry room

00:00:18,519 --> 00:00:19,10 minutes ago in my bra...

00:00:19,720 --> 00:00:20,That was kind of
perfect, actually.

00:00:20,788 --> 00:00:22,I had just made a point

00:00:22,056 --> 00:00:23,about how buildings
from the early '70s

00:00:23,691 --> 00:00:25,were holding up
surprisingly well.

00:00:25,626 --> 00:00:26,So maybe I'll...

00:00:26,760 --> 00:00:28,Yeah.
Yeah. Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.

00:00:28,062 --> 00:00:30,All right,
see you in class, buddy.

00:00:30,131 --> 00:00:32,What a great kid.

00:00:32,600 --> 00:00:34,That's why I chucked it all for
a life in academia, Claire.

00:00:34,868 --> 00:00:36,It's a special feeling

00:00:36,937 --> 00:00:39,knowing that there's a young man
walking around out there

00:00:39,240 --> 00:00:41,who you helped mold,
who you can be proud of.

00:00:41,875 --> 00:00:43,Hey, Dad.
Hey. You know?

00:00:44,778 --> 00:00:46,You're up early.

00:00:46,314 --> 00:00:47,What are you talking about?

00:00:47,381 --> 00:00:49,I hugged you
from behind earlier.

00:00:49,117 --> 00:00:51,You know, I said, "I don't
remember buying this six pack."

00:00:51,785 --> 00:00:54,Then you did that funny
Eastern European accent...

00:00:54,288 --> 00:00:55,"I don't want trouble.

00:00:55,323 --> 00:00:57,I just want to learn."

00:00:57,091 --> 00:01:00,Should we be concerned
about group-molesting Serge?

00:01:00,128 --> 00:01:01,And aren't you at the minimum
number of students

00:01:01,962 --> 00:01:03,before they cancel
your class?
Not to worry.

00:01:03,764 --> 00:01:06,Serge worships me, and the rest
of the class is super solid.

00:01:06,267 --> 00:01:08,Plus, it's the last day
to drop classes anyway.

00:01:08,236 --> 00:01:09,Oh, speaking of that,

00:01:09,270 --> 00:01:10,I'm thinking about
dropping history.

00:01:10,638 --> 00:01:12,How come?
It's not really exciting me.

00:01:12,906 --> 00:01:14,Plus, we've g***t
this huge paper due today

00:01:14,775 --> 00:01:16,that I haven't quite
finished starting.

00:01:16,410 --> 00:01:18,It's on the Monroe Doctrine.

00:01:18,446 --> 00:01:20,The Monroe Doctrine?

00:01:20,581 --> 00:01:21,Oh, no.

00:01:21,749 --> 00:01:23,Junior year history class,

00:01:23,651 --> 00:01:25,I wrote the perfect paper.

00:01:25,619 --> 00:01:28,Strong thesis,
impeccable supporting arguments.

00:01:28,489 --> 00:01:31,I quoted from the letters
of a White House footman

00:01:31,125 --> 00:01:33,who recalled Monroe
calling to him from the bath,

00:01:33,427 --> 00:01:35,"Beauregard,
fetch me my breeches.

00:01:35,929 --> 00:01:37,We have a doctrine!"

00:01:37,665 --> 00:01:39,I g***t a "C."

00:01:41,935 --> 00:01:44,Oh, so you agree
with that grade, huh?

00:01:44,605 --> 00:01:45,Don't patronize me.

00:01:47,708 --> 00:01:49,Captions by VITAC...

00:01:55,716 --> 00:01:58,♪♪

00:02:02,156 --> 00:02:03,Mmm. The food
at the club

00:02:03,324 --> 00:02:04,has gotten so much
lighter and healthier.

00:02:04,325 --> 00:02:05,We had a run of angina attacks,

00:02:05,559 --> 00:02:07,so we had to go heart-healthy.

00:02:07,295 --> 00:02:09,We said goodbye to
our social chairman, Herb,

00:02:09,530 --> 00:02:11,and our butter fountain
in the same weekend.

00:02:11,532 --> 00:02:12,Oh, I'm sorry.

00:02:12,966 --> 00:02:13,Hey, Mr. Pritchett.

00:02:14,001 --> 00:02:14,I'll take this
when you're ready.

00:02:15,002 --> 00:02:16,Thank you, Maria.
Oh, Maria,

00:02:16,970 --> 00:02:18,that's a beautiful name.
That's why it's often sung.

00:02:18,839 --> 00:02:19,But you're not going to...

00:02:19,873 --> 00:02:22,♪ Ave Maria

00:02:22,676 --> 00:02:24,And curtain. Okay, they just
started letting gays in here.

00:02:24,912 --> 00:02:25,Don't make them regret it.

00:02:25,913 --> 00:02:27,You might also
wanna tell Sharona

00:02:27,548 --> 00:02:29,to steer clear
of the table.
Yes.

00:02:29,350 --> 00:02:31,Yeah, well, I should
probably save my energy

00:02:31,352 --> 00:02:32,for my performance
tonight anyway.

00:02:32,986 --> 00:02:35,Oh, darn. Gloria and I
have tickets to, um...

00:02:35,556 --> 00:02:37,Um...

00:02:37,358 --> 00:02:39,Don't worry, Jay.
It's... It's not for you.

00:02:39,227 --> 00:02:40,Oh, good. I didn't know where
I was going with that.

00:02:40,894 --> 00:02:43,Tonight is a fundraiser
at Lily's school.

00:02:43,497 --> 00:02:45,We're, you know,
raising money for the kids.

00:02:45,433 --> 00:02:47,A night of song and sketch.

00:02:47,501 --> 00:02:49,All the dads
are performing. Well...

00:02:49,937 --> 00:02:50,most of the dads.

00:02:50,938 --> 00:02:51,Proud of you, son.

00:02:51,939 --> 00:02:53,Ah, it's not a complete victory.

00:02:53,341 --> 00:02:55,I still have to watch it, so...

00:02:55,376 --> 00:02:57,Thanks for
breakfast, Dad.
Hey,

00:02:57,077 --> 00:02:58,I love spending time
with you two!

00:02:58,912 --> 00:03:01,Every month I've gotta burn off
a minimum at the club,

00:03:01,849 --> 00:03:04,and literally,
everybody else I knew was busy.

00:03:04,752 --> 00:03:06,That's also why I give
a lot of birthday presents

00:03:06,687 --> 00:03:07,from the pro-shop.
You know, mugs

00:03:08,021 --> 00:03:10,and visors that say
"Kiss My Putter,"

00:03:10,591 --> 00:03:12,"Talk Birdie To Me."

00:03:12,125 --> 00:03:15,Quality items. Everybody wins.

00:03:15,296 --> 00:03:16,So, if you're not rushed,

00:03:16,630 --> 00:03:18,you should treat yourself
to our spa.

00:03:18,399 --> 00:03:20,You know, get a couple of, uh...

00:03:20,734 --> 00:03:23,a couple of standard treatments.

00:03:23,103 --> 00:03:25,Oh, well, you're so generous.

00:03:25,439 --> 00:03:27,Might I say you look
very handsome

00:03:27,541 --> 00:03:29,in that shirt
we gave you for Christmas.

00:03:29,743 --> 00:03:32,They also make it in
"Queen's coral"... oh, no.

00:03:32,546 --> 00:03:34,Did I spoil your birthday?
Sounds like you might.

00:03:35,949 --> 00:03:37,Oh.

00:03:37,951 --> 00:03:39,What's so funny?
Oh, it's just that

00:03:39,753 --> 00:03:41,I've been e-mailing
this mom at school.

00:03:41,322 --> 00:03:42,We both volunteer together.

00:03:42,756 --> 00:03:45,You... You e-mail?
It's harmless. Listen.

00:03:45,259 --> 00:03:48,"Hey, Jay, enjoyed laughing
around the planetarium with you.

00:03:48,462 --> 00:03:50,Your jokes were
out of this world."

00:03:50,264 --> 00:03:52,Hm, okay.
So, if it's so harmless,

00:03:52,600 --> 00:03:55,I'm sure Gloria knows
about this flirty quipstress.

00:03:55,068 --> 00:03:57,Don't make something
out of this.

00:03:57,070 --> 00:03:58,Oh, my God.
Oh!

00:03:58,339 --> 00:03:59,That's why he's
wearing the shirt.

00:03:59,773 --> 00:04:02,Because it makes
your blue eyes pop.

00:04:02,175 --> 00:04:04,I'm not letting you magpies
dirty this up.

00:04:05,746 --> 00:04:06,Oh, uh...

00:04:06,814 --> 00:04:07,"Park by the swings

00:04:08,015 --> 00:04:09,so I can help you
carry stuff in."

00:04:09,817 --> 00:04:11,"Park by the swings

00:04:11,151 --> 00:04:13,so I can help you
carry stuff in."

00:04:13,421 --> 00:04:15,You're sullying this,
and I'm leaving!

00:04:15,423 --> 00:04:17,Okay, well, say "hi"
to your girlfriend.
She's not my girlfriend.

00:04:17,458 --> 00:04:18,The only reason
we're paired together

00:04:18,826 --> 00:04:19,is because our kids are
in the same reading group.

00:04:19,927 --> 00:04:21,Oo-ooh!

00:04:21,329 --> 00:04:23,D***n it!

00:04:23,096 --> 00:04:24,I love when we "ooh."

00:04:24,332 --> 00:04:26,We used to do that all the time,
and then we stopped.

00:04:26,434 --> 00:04:28,Why?
I don't know.

00:04:29,637 --> 00:04:32,Joe!

00:04:32,272 --> 00:04:34,Why did I find your eye patch

00:04:34,107 --> 00:04:36,in the garbage?
I don't know.

00:04:36,143 --> 00:04:38,Were you throwing away
another parking ticket?

00:04:38,346 --> 00:04:39,Okay, you have to put it on.

00:04:39,980 --> 00:04:42,Why?
My lazy eye is fixed.

00:04:42,182 --> 00:04:44,Okay, I'm over here,

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