Porkys.1981 Subtitles

00:01:34,946 --> 00:01:38,"Get up, get up, you sleepyheads"
Get up, get outta bed

00:01:38,991 --> 00:01:41,Good morning, Angel Beach. It's April 12.

00:01:41,327 --> 00:01:44,This is Gene Morrison coming to you
from WACN Angel Beach,

00:01:45,039 --> 00:01:47,nestled by the shore
in fabulous South Florida.

00:01:47,959 --> 00:01:50,It's a bright and beautiful spring day.

00:01:50,461 --> 00:01:54,President Eisenhower's running a tight
ship, with his hand steady on the helm.

00:01:54,674 --> 00:01:59,The stars are secure in the firmament and the
rent's paid, so all's right with the world.

00:01:59,762 --> 00:02:03,♪ "So get up, get up, you sleepyheads"
Get up, get outta bed

00:02:03,516 --> 00:02:06,Let's get out there
and get America moving forward.

00:02:06,394 --> 00:02:11,It's 64 degrees, expecting to reach
a high of 76 - not a drop of rain in sight.

00:02:11,357 --> 00:02:15,Good news for the beach bunnies,
but bad news for the farm boys.

00:02:15,486 --> 00:02:19,Now, to help you start the day,
the singin'rage, Miss Patti Page.

00:02:24,287 --> 00:02:27,♪ "It gives me a thrill"

00:02:29,041 --> 00:02:31,Edward. You'll be late for school.

00:02:32,753 --> 00:02:37,Edward? Up. Right now.
I've g***t things to do. You hear?

00:02:38,259 --> 00:02:40,Hit the floor, right now.

00:02:41,012 --> 00:02:46,♪ "You're welcome as the flowers"
on Mockingbird Hill

00:02:57,028 --> 00:02:59,Edward Morris.

00:02:59,655 --> 00:03:03,You be at the breakfast table in five
minutes, or you don't play ball this week.

00:03:05,203 --> 00:03:09,- Pee Wee, what's wrong?
- Nothing. I pulled a muscle in my groin.

00:03:09,207 --> 00:03:13,Be careful. Your father wants you to drop
him at the office. His car won't start.

00:03:14,045 --> 00:03:18,- And pick up those clothes at the tailor's.
- Instant eunuch.

00:03:20,218 --> 00:03:26,♪ "To wake up in the morning"
to the mockingbird's trill

00:03:29,644 --> 00:03:32,♪ "There's peace and goodwill"

00:03:33,356 --> 00:03:37,♪ "You're welcome as the flowers"
on Mockingbird Hill

00:03:37,693 --> 00:03:39,S***t.

00:03:52,208 --> 00:03:54,It is. It's gettin' shorter.

00:03:54,752 --> 00:03:56,S***t.

00:03:59,090 --> 00:04:04,♪ "And survey all my kingdom"
while everything's still

00:04:15,398 --> 00:04:18,- Hey! Did you get your coloured guy?
- Does a fat dog fart?

00:04:18,568 --> 00:04:21,- Well, what's he look like?
- Like a Zulu.

00:04:21,279 --> 00:04:24,- Six foot four, two huge gold teeth.
- Great.

00:04:36,377 --> 00:04:40,- Where'd you find him?
- My old man's construction company.

00:04:40,089 --> 00:04:43,He doesn't know what I'm talkin' about,
but he's willin'.

00:04:43,175 --> 00:04:46,- And he'll do it for ten bucks.
- Ten bucks? Not bad.

00:04:46,888 --> 00:04:50,- You sure the broad's all set?
- Oh, it's no problem.

00:04:56,814 --> 00:04:59,Jarvis, you stupid redneck.

00:04:59,525 --> 00:05:03,You better duck, you suckers,
when Jarvis is at the wheel.

00:05:07,325 --> 00:05:10,- Billy Boy. Y'all get the nigger?
- Come on, Jarvis.

00:05:10,745 --> 00:05:14,- You mean "the coloured guy", "the negro".
- Poor white trash.

00:05:14,123 --> 00:05:19,- F***k you and the horse you rode in on.
- That's colourful redneck humour, right?

00:05:19,128 --> 00:05:22,- Right. Kiss my rebel a***s.
- Should be writin' these down.

00:05:22,882 --> 00:05:26,Immigrants. Go on back to Michigan
and kiss a***s with all the negroes.

00:05:26,677 --> 00:05:28,This is Dixie, baby.

00:05:28,679 --> 00:05:31,How come you don't have
four names like most hillbillies?

00:05:31,891 --> 00:05:35,Like Billy Joe Jim Bob,
or Flora Mae Sally Sue?

00:05:35,186 --> 00:05:39,Hey, man. I had a cousin named Billy Joe
Jim Bob, and he was killed in the war.

00:05:39,857 --> 00:05:42,Gee, I didn't know, Mickey. I'm sorry.

00:05:42,777 --> 00:05:45,- Anyway, d'you get the negro?
- Yeah, we g***t one.

00:05:45,947 --> 00:05:50,Guy's six four, has gold teeth -
the meanest-Iookin' mother you ever saw.

00:05:50,117 --> 00:05:52,Hot d***n! They're gonna croak. Who's goin'?

00:05:52,662 --> 00:05:54,Hey, Tommy. Wait a minute.

00:05:56,541 --> 00:05:59,- Did you get it?
- I found a place that's g***t one.

00:05:59,752 --> 00:06:03,Well, don't let me down.
I'm gonna get that little creep.

00:06:03,256 --> 00:06:05,- Who's she gonna get?
- Pee Wee.

00:06:06,008 --> 00:06:08,- Didn't you hear about the other night?
- No.

00:06:08,302 --> 00:06:10,- Are you sure you didn't?
- No.

00:06:10,596 --> 00:06:14,Well, we figure we gotta get Pee Wee laid,
so I fix him up with Wendy.

00:06:14,559 --> 00:06:18,Pee Wee and Wendy? D***n,
I thought she had better taste than that.

00:06:18,396 --> 00:06:22,Well, all he had to do was knock it off.
They're makin' out, and you know Wendy.

00:06:23,025 --> 00:06:28,She reaches down, she unzips his fly
and she grabs his c***k, and guess what?

00:06:28,239 --> 00:06:31,- What?
- The little b***d already had a rubber on.

00:06:31,200 --> 00:06:33,- Oh, bullshit.
- I swear.

00:06:33,452 --> 00:06:37,Wendy told me. Why would she lie?
Horny mother wore a rubber to his date.

00:06:37,623 --> 00:06:40,She g***t so pissed off
she wouldn't let him touch her.

00:06:48,467 --> 00:06:52,- Hi. I'm Mindy. Can I ask you somethin'?
- Yeah, sure.

00:06:53,181 --> 00:06:55,Why do they call you "Meat"?

00:06:56,392 --> 00:07:00,- I don't know.
- Wendy Williams told me I should ask ya.

00:07:02,148 --> 00:07:03,She did?

00:07:04,025 --> 00:07:07,Why do they call you "Meat"?
Cos you're so big?

00:07:07,320 --> 00:07:11,- Yeah, sorta.
- Not "sorta". Why?

00:07:11,616 --> 00:07:13,- Do you really wanna know?
- Yes.

00:07:13,784 --> 00:07:16,- OK. Come on. I'll show ya.
- Meat. Wait, wait, wait.

00:07:16,787 --> 00:07:20,- She's only a freshman.
- After this, she'll be a senior.

00:07:20,124 --> 00:07:25,But if you get suspended again, you'll
never get that scholarship to Princeton.

00:07:25,421 --> 00:07:27,Now think about that.

00:07:30,134 --> 00:07:34,- I'm sorry, babe. No cigar. Can't do it.
- He won't tell me.

00:07:34,639 --> 00:07:36,Shoot.

00:07:39,894 --> 00:07:43,- Hey, you guys. Wait up.
- Speakin' of horny mothers, it's Ready Eddie.

00:07:43,940 --> 00:07:48,- Be serious. I'm goin' tonight, right?
- Even a nymphomaniac has standards.

00:07:48,110 --> 00:07:51,She lives with a black stud.
He's gonna cut your pecker off.

00:07:51,405 --> 00:07:55,- Yeah, he's bringin' a pair of tweezers.
- I don't care. She likes to screw, right?

00:07:55,952 --> 00:07:58,Especially young guys.
The more the merrier.

00:07:59,038 --> 00:08:03,- Is she good-Iookin'?
- She's g***t a great body. Moves like an eel.

00:08:03,251 --> 00:08:06,- Just the way I like 'em.
- As long as they're not dead...

00:08:06,462 --> 00:08:10,I don't care if they're dead
as long as they're not too cold.

00:08:11,133 --> 00:08:13,Let's not invite many guys -
we can all get her twice.

00:08:13,803 --> 00:08:16,He's not even invited
and he's makin' up the guest list?

00:08:16,764 --> 00:08:21,- You're not cuttin' me outta free nooky.
- All right. You're goin'. Now shut up.

00:08:22,019 --> 00:08:26,- I'm goin'. Eight o'clock, right?
- Right.

00:08:26,232 --> 00:08:30,- Wear your rubber.
- That lyin' bitch.

00:08:30,403 --> 00:08:33,- I forgot which one is...
- This is the raw one...

00:08:33,114 --> 00:08:36,- No. This is hard-boiled...
- Gonna get some action tonight?

00:08:36,826 --> 00:08:41,- What are you talkin' about, Pee Wee?
- I'm goin' tonight. They said I can go.

00:08:41,372 --> 00:08:45,- He'll be the comedy relief.
- She could use you for a recess period.

00:08:45,084 --> 00:08:49,- Funny! What are you doin' with the eggs?
- What eggs?

00:08:49,338 --> 00:08:52,- "What eggs"? Those eggs.
- Oh. These eggs.

00:08:54,176 --> 00:08:57,- They're for you.
- For me?

00:08:57,221 --> 00:08:59,Yeah. We thought you
might like to wear one.

00:08:59,724 --> 00:09:01,Timmy...

00:09:03,519 --> 00:09:06,- Funny.
- Not as funny as the look on your face.

00:09:06,230 --> 00:09:10,- You gotta let me do it to somebody.
- I don't think there's anybody left.

00:09:10,359 --> 00:09:15,- Oh, come on. There's gotta be somebody.
- I think we've done just about everybody.

00:09:18,951 --> 00:09:23,Let me do Meat.
You gotta let me do Meat. Come on, Timmy.

00:09:23,122 --> 00:09:29,OK. Now listen. The one in your left hand is
the raw egg, OK? That's the one you drop.

00:09:29,879 --> 00:09:33,The one in your right hand is the
hard-boiled egg, the one you hit him with.

00:09:33,966 --> 00:09:37,- Left hand raw, right hand smack him.
- Go get him, Tiger.

00:09:39,305 --> 00:09:41,- Hi, Meat.
- Hi, Pee Wee. What's goin' on?

00:09:41,516 --> 00:09:43,- Oh, nothin'.
- Guys.

00:09:46,521 --> 00:09:49,Watch it. What are you, a psycho?
What's with the eggs?

00:09:49,607 --> 00:09:51,- What eggs?
- Those eggs.

00:09:51,859 --> 00:09:55,- Watch my lips. Those eggs.
- These eggs?

00:09:55,279 --> 00:09:57,- Is there an echo here?
- They're for you.

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