Porkys.1981 Movie Subtitles

1 00:01:34,946 --> 00:01:38,908 "Get up, get up, you sleepyheads" Get up, get outta bed 2 00:01:38,991 --> 00:01:41,244 Good morning, Angel Beach. It's April 12. 3 00:01:41,327 --> 00:01:44,956 This is Gene Morrison coming to you from WACN Angel Beach, 4 00:01:45,039 --> 00:01:47,875 nestled by the shore in fabulous South Florida. 5 00:01:47,959 --> 00:01:50,378 It's a bright and beautiful spring day. 6 00:01:50,461 --> 00:01:54,590 President Eisenhower's running a tight ship, with his hand steady on the helm. 7 00:01:54,674 --> 00:01:59,679 The stars are secure in the firmament and the rent's paid, so all's right with the world. 8 00:01:59,762 --> 00:02:03,432 ♪ "So get up, get up, you sleepyheads" Get up, get outta bed 9 00:02:03,516 --> 00:02:06,310 Let's get out there and get America moving forward. 10 00:02:06,394 --> 00:02:11,274 It's 64 degrees, expecting to reach a high of 76 - not a drop of rain in sight. 11 00:02:11,357 --> 00:02:15,403 Good news for the beach bunnies, but bad news for the farm boys. 12 00:02:15,486 --> 00:02:19,615 Now, to help you start the day, the singin'rage, Miss Patti Page. 13 00:02:24,287 --> 00:02:27,373 ♪ "It gives me a thrill" 14 00:02:29,041 --> 00:02:31,836 Edward. You'll be late for school. 15 00:02:32,753 --> 00:02:37,133 Edward? Up. Right now. I've g***t things to do. You hear? 16 00:02:38,259 --> 00:02:40,928 Hit the floor, right now. 17 00:02:41,012 --> 00:02:46,893 ♪ "You're welcome as the flowers" on Mockingbird Hill 18 00:02:57,028 --> 00:02:59,572 Edward Morris. 19 00:02:59,655 --> 00:03:03,910 You be at the breakfast table in five minutes, or you don't play ball this week. 20 00:03:05,203 --> 00:03:09,123 - Pee Wee, what's wrong? - Nothing. I pulled a muscle in my groin. 21 00:03:09,207 --> 00:03:13,961 Be careful. Your father wants you to drop him at the office. His car won't start. 22 00:03:14,045 --> 00:03:18,799 - And pick up those clothes at the tailor's. - Instant eunuch. 23 00:03:20,218 --> 00:03:26,349 ♪ "To wake up in the morning" to the mockingbird's trill 24 00:03:29,644 --> 00:03:32,605 ♪ "There's peace and goodwill" 25 00:03:33,356 --> 00:03:37,610 ♪ "You're welcome as the flowers" on Mockingbird Hill 26 00:03:37,693 --> 00:03:39,779 S***t. 27 00:03:52,208 --> 00:03:54,669 It is. It's gettin' shorter. 28 00:03:54,752 --> 00:03:56,837 S***t. 29 00:03:59,090 --> 00:04:04,804 ♪ "And survey all my kingdom" while everything's still 30 00:04:15,398 --> 00:04:18,484 - Hey! Did you get your coloured guy? - Does a fat dog fart? 31 00:04:18,568 --> 00:04:21,195 - Well, what's he look like? - Like a Zulu. 32 00:04:21,279 --> 00:04:24,407 - Six foot four, two huge gold teeth. - Great. 33 00:04:36,377 --> 00:04:40,006 - Where'd you find him? - My old man's construction company. 34 00:04:40,089 --> 00:04:43,092 He doesn't know what I'm talkin' about, but he's willin'. 35 00:04:43,175 --> 00:04:46,804 - And he'll do it for ten bucks. - Ten bucks? Not bad. 36 00:04:46,888 --> 00:04:50,600 - You sure the broad's all set? - Oh, it's no problem. 37 00:04:56,814 --> 00:04:59,108 Jarvis, you stupid redneck. 38 00:04:59,525 --> 00:05:03,738 You better duck, you suckers, when Jarvis is at the wheel. 39 00:05:07,325 --> 00:05:10,661 - Billy Boy. Y'all get the nigger? - Come on, Jarvis. 40 00:05:10,745 --> 00:05:14,040 - You mean "the coloured guy", "the negro". - Poor white trash. 41 00:05:14,123 --> 00:05:19,045 - F***k you and the horse you rode in on. - That's colourful redneck humour, right? 42 00:05:19,128 --> 00:05:22,798 - Right. Kiss my rebel a***s. - Should be writin' these down. 43 00:05:22,882 --> 00:05:26,594 Immigrants. Go on back to Michigan and kiss a***s with all the negroes. 44 00:05:26,677 --> 00:05:28,596 This is Dixie, baby. 45 00:05:28,679 --> 00:05:31,807 How come you don't have four names like most hillbillies? 46 00:05:31,891 --> 00:05:35,102 Like Billy Joe Jim Bob, or Flora Mae Sally Sue? 47 00:05:35,186 --> 00:05:39,774 Hey, man. I had a cousin named Billy Joe Jim Bob, and he was killed in the war. 48 00:05:39,857 --> 00:05:42,693 Gee, I didn't know, Mickey. I'm sorry. 49 00:05:42,777 --> 00:05:45,863 - Anyway, d'you get the negro? - Yeah, we g***t one. 50 00:05:45,947 --> 00:05:50,034 Guy's six four, has gold teeth - the meanest-Iookin' mother you ever saw. 51 00:05:50,117 --> 00:05:52,578 Hot d***n! They're gonna croak. Who's goin'? 52 00:05:52,662 --> 00:05:54,830 Hey, Tommy. Wait a minute. 53 00:05:56,541 --> 00:05:59,669 - Did you get it? - I found a place that's g***t one. 54 00:05:59,752 --> 00:06:03,172 Well, don't let me down. I'm gonna get that little creep. 55 00:06:03,256 --> 00:06:05,925 - Who's she gonna get? - Pee Wee. 56 00:06:06,008 --> 00:06:08,219 - Didn't you hear about the other night? - No. 57 00:06:08,302 --> 00:06:10,513 - Are you sure you didn't? - No. 58 00:06:10,596 --> 00:06:14,475 Well, we figure we gotta get Pee Wee laid, so I fix him up with Wendy. 59 00:06:14,559 --> 00:06:18,312 Pee Wee and Wendy? D***n, I thought she had better taste than that. 60 00:06:18,396 --> 00:06:22,942 Well, all he had to do was knock it off. They're makin' out, and you know Wendy. 61 00:06:23,025 --> 00:06:28,155 She reaches down, she unzips his fly and she grabs his c***k, and guess what? 62 00:06:28,239 --> 00:06:31,117 - What? - The little b***d already had a rubber on. 63 00:06:31,200 --> 00:06:33,369 - Oh, bullshit. - I swear. 64 00:06:33,452 --> 00:06:37,540 Wendy told me. Why would she lie? Horny mother wore a rubber to his date. 65 00:06:37,623 --> 00:06:40,626 She g***t so pissed off she wouldn't let him touch her. 66 00:06:48,467 --> 00:06:52,805 - Hi. I'm Mindy. Can I ask you somethin'? - Yeah, sure. 67 00:06:53,181 --> 00:06:55,641 Why do they call you "Meat"? 68 00:06:56,392 --> 00:07:00,271 - I don't know. - Wendy Williams told me I should ask ya. 69 00:07:02,148 --> 00:07:03,941 She did? 70 00:07:04,025 --> 00:07:07,236 Why do they call you "Meat"? Cos you're so big? 71 00:07:07,320 --> 00:07:11,532 - Yeah, sorta. - Not "sorta". Why? 72 00:07:11,616 --> 00:07:13,701 - Do you really wanna know? - Yes. 73 00:07:13,784 --> 00:07:16,704 - OK. Come on. I'll show ya. - Meat. Wait, wait, wait. 74 00:07:16,787 --> 00:07:20,041 - She's only a freshman. - After this, she'll be a senior. 75 00:07:20,124 --> 00:07:25,338 But if you get suspended again, you'll never get that scholarship to Princeton. 76 00:07:25,421 --> 00:07:27,798 Now think about that. 77 00:07:30,134 --> 00:07:34,347 - I'm sorry, babe. No cigar. Can't do it. - He won't tell me. 78 00:07:34,639 --> 00:07:36,974 Shoot. 79 00:07:39,894 --> 00:07:43,856 - Hey, you guys. Wait up. - Speakin' of horny mothers, it's Ready Eddie. 80 00:07:43,940 --> 00:07:48,027 - Be serious. I'm goin' tonight, right? - Even a nymphomaniac has standards. 81 00:07:48,110 --> 00:07:51,322 She lives with a black stud. He's gonna cut your pecker off. 82 00:07:51,405 --> 00:07:55,868 - Yeah, he's bringin' a pair of tweezers. - I don't care. She likes to screw, right? 83 00:07:55,952 --> 00:07:58,955 Especially young guys. The more the merrier. 84 00:07:59,038 --> 00:08:03,167 - Is she good-Iookin'? - She's g***t a great body. Moves like an eel. 85 00:08:03,251 --> 00:08:06,379 - Just the way I like 'em. - As long as they're not dead... 86 00:08:06,462 --> 00:08:10,341 I don't care if they're dead as long as they're not too cold. 87 00:08:11,133 --> 00:08:13,719 Let's not invite many guys - we can all get her twice. 88 00:08:13,803 --> 00:08:16,681 He's not even invited and he's makin' up the guest list? 89 00:08:16,764 --> 00:08:21,936 - You're not cuttin' me outta free nooky. - All right. You're goin'. Now shut up. 90 00:08:22,019 --> 00:08:26,148 - I'm goin'. Eight o'clock, right? - Right. 91 00:08:26,232 --> 00:08:30,319 - Wear your rubber. - That lyin' bitch. 92 00:08:30,403 --> 00:08:33,030 - I forgot which one is... - This is the raw one... 93 00:08:33,114 --> 00:08:36,742 - No. This is hard-boiled... - Gonna get some action tonight? 94 00:08:36,826 --> 00:08:41,289 - What are you talkin' about, Pee Wee? - I'm goin' tonight. They said I can go. 95 00:08:41,372 --> 00:08:45,001 - He'll be the comedy relief. - She could use you for a recess period. 96 00:08:45,084 --> 00:08:49,255 - Funny! What are you doin' with the eggs? - What eggs? 97 00:08:49,338 --> 00:08:52,842 - "What eggs"? Those eggs. - Oh. These eggs. 98 00:08:54,176 --> 00:08:57,138 - They're for you. - For me? 99 00:08:57,221 --> 00:08:59,640 Yeah. We thought you might like to wear one. 100 00:08:59,724 --> 00:09:01,809 Timmy... 101 00:09:03,519 --> 00:09:06,147 - Funny. - Not as funny as the look on your face. 102 00:09:06,230 --> 00:09:10,276 - You gotta let me do it to somebody. - I don't think there's anybody left. 103 00:09:10,359 --> 00:09:15,948 - Oh, come on. There's gotta be somebody. - I think we've done just about everybody. 104 00:09:18,951 --> 00:09:23,039 Let me do Meat. You gotta let me do Meat. Come on, Timmy. 105 00:09:23,122 --> 00:09:29,795 OK. Now listen. The one in your left hand is the raw egg, OK? That's the one you drop. 106 00:09:29,879 --> 00:09:33,883 The one in your right hand is the hard-boiled egg, the one you hit him with. 107 00:09:33,966 --> 00:09:37,637 - Left hand raw, right hand smack him. - Go get him, Tiger. 108 00:09:39,305 --> 00:09:41,432 - Hi, Meat. - Hi, Pee Wee. What's goin' on? 109 00:09:41,516 --> 00:09:43,601 - Oh, nothin'. - Guys. 110 00:09:46,521 --> 00:09:49,524 Watch it. What are you, a psycho? What's with the eggs? 111 00:09:49,607 --> 00:09:51,776 - What eggs? - Those eggs. 112 00:09:51,859 --> 00:09:55,196 - Watch my lips. Those eggs. - These eggs? 113 00:09:55,279 --> 00:09:57,698 - Is there an echo here? - They're for you. 114...