The.Bad.Guys.2022. Subtitles

00:00:34,654 --> 00:00:39,Provided by explosiveskull
https://twitter.com/kaboomskull

00:00:41,627 --> 00:00:43,Stop.

00:00:43,229 --> 00:00:44,I'll stop if you just
explain it to me,

00:00:44,997 --> 00:00:46,- because I don't...
- Would you please just drop it?

00:00:46,565 --> 00:00:47,All right, all right,
fine, fine, fine, fine.

00:00:48,034 --> 00:00:49,Consider it dropped.
It's dropped.

00:00:49,168 --> 00:00:51,- It's on the ground.
- Good.

00:00:52,171 --> 00:00:54,But, I mean, come on,
everybody loves birthdays.

00:00:54,173 --> 00:00:55,You g***t decorations.

00:00:56,042 --> 00:00:57,You g***t balloons.
You g***t parties and cake.

00:00:58,044 --> 00:00:59,Look, I don't need presents,

00:00:59,678 --> 00:01:02,I don't want decorations,
and I'm-I'm not a cake guy.

00:01:02,814 --> 00:01:04,Seriously, though,
you don't like cake?

00:01:04,783 --> 00:01:06,Name one food better than cake.

00:01:06,785 --> 00:01:07,Guinea pig.

00:01:08,054 --> 00:01:09,Oh, again with the guinea pig.

00:01:09,921 --> 00:01:11,I bet if I blindfolded you,

00:01:11,990 --> 00:01:13,you wouldn't be able
to tell the difference

00:01:13,825 --> 00:01:15,between a skunk
and a guinea pig.

00:01:15,794 --> 00:01:18,Wrong. Snakes have
impeccable taste buds.

00:01:18,597 --> 00:01:20,- I can taste air.
- Air?

00:01:20,732 --> 00:01:22,Yes. Air.

00:01:23,669 --> 00:01:25,Mm. Nice.

00:01:25,337 --> 00:01:27,I don't know.
They're a little, uh...

00:01:27,639 --> 00:01:29,a little cute for my taste.

00:01:29,308 --> 00:01:31,That's what makes them
so delicious.

00:01:31,643 --> 00:01:33,You're not just eating food.

00:01:33,545 --> 00:01:35,You're eating pure goodness.

00:01:35,414 --> 00:01:36,It's not about the pig.

00:01:36,982 --> 00:01:40,It's about what it symbolizes
on a deeper level.

00:01:41,687 --> 00:01:43,So, you can...
you can taste air?

00:01:43,189 --> 00:01:44,What else you g***t?

00:01:44,590 --> 00:01:45,- Forget about it.
- W-W-Wait.

00:01:45,891 --> 00:01:47,Can you also hear color?

00:01:47,593 --> 00:01:49,- Can you see sound?
- All right, all right. Okay.

00:01:49,595 --> 00:01:51,'Cause we should really be
capitalizing on these skills.

00:01:51,797 --> 00:01:53,Okay, all right, fine.
Get it all out.

00:01:53,665 --> 00:01:54,- Get it all out now.
- Okay, okay.

00:01:56,602 --> 00:01:58,Look at that. 4:00 p.m.

00:01:58,304 --> 00:02:00,Now I know the exact moment
our friendship died.

00:02:02,641 --> 00:02:04,- Let's bounce.
- Yep.

00:02:05,611 --> 00:02:08,Tastes like, um, you're gonna
stick me with the bill... again.

00:02:09,081 --> 00:02:10,Well, it is my birthday.

00:02:10,982 --> 00:02:12,So now you play
the birthday card?

00:02:12,784 --> 00:02:14,That's interesting.

00:02:14,620 --> 00:02:17,Can we get a check, please,
when you get a chance?

00:02:18,056 --> 00:02:20,Hello? Checkity-check-check.

00:02:21,093 --> 00:02:22,You know what?

00:02:22,728 --> 00:02:26,We're just gonna leave
the money right here, okay?

00:02:26,165 --> 00:02:27,You know the one good thing
about this place?

00:02:28,033 --> 00:02:29,- What?
- We never have to wait for a table.

00:02:29,935 --> 00:02:31,Well, isn't that every place?

00:02:31,370 --> 00:02:32,Hey, man. How you been?
I haven't seen you in...

00:02:33,071 --> 00:02:35,Snake attack!

00:02:35,207 --> 00:02:36,Oh. Mints.

00:02:36,908 --> 00:02:38,Sorry, folks.
I'm switching him to decaf.

00:02:40,246 --> 00:02:41,All right.

00:02:41,513 --> 00:02:43,Let's do this.

00:02:56,328 --> 00:02:57,Guinea pig, huh?

00:02:57,663 --> 00:02:59,It's the Rolls-Royce of rodents.

00:02:59,665 --> 00:03:01,Yeah, but it's still a rodent.

00:03:01,433 --> 00:03:03,You know what I mean?

00:03:03,402 --> 00:03:05,Don't mind us, just robbing this place.

00:03:19,385 --> 00:03:20,Whoo! Yeah!

00:03:20,719 --> 00:03:22,- Go bad...
- Or go home.

00:03:28,059 --> 00:03:30,Hey, you. Get over here.

00:03:31,062 --> 00:03:33,Little bit closer.

00:03:33,665 --> 00:03:35,Oh, I know what it is.

00:03:36,101 --> 00:03:39,You're afraid because
I'm the... the Big Bad Wolf.

00:03:39,905 --> 00:03:41,Well, I'm not surprised.

00:03:41,707 --> 00:03:43,I ** the villain in every story.

00:03:43,609 --> 00:03:44,Isn't that right, Mr. Snake?

00:03:44,843 --> 00:03:46,Yep.

00:03:46,245 --> 00:03:49,Say hello to Mr. Snake.

00:03:49,348 --> 00:03:51,Serpentine,
safe-cracking machine.

00:03:51,283 --> 00:03:53,Imagine Houdini
but with no arms.

00:03:53,519 --> 00:03:55,Kind of guy who'd tell you
the glass is half empty,

00:03:55,654 --> 00:03:56,then steal it from you.

00:03:57,055 --> 00:03:58,He's also my best bud.

00:03:58,557 --> 00:04:00,And today's his birthday!

00:04:01,026 --> 00:04:03,- Not relevant.
- He's a sweetheart.

00:04:03,229 --> 00:04:04,You're a sweetheart.

00:04:05,030 --> 00:04:07,Well, look who's here.

00:04:07,233 --> 00:04:09,Took 'em long enough.

00:04:13,839 --> 00:04:15,Watch this.

00:04:15,874 --> 00:04:17,Three.

00:04:17,609 --> 00:04:19,Two. One.

00:04:21,046 --> 00:04:22,And over here is Ms. Tarantula,

00:04:22,848 --> 00:04:25,our in-house hacker,
our pocket search engine,

00:04:25,317 --> 00:04:26,our traveling tech wizard.

00:04:26,918 --> 00:04:28,We call her Webs.

00:04:34,760 --> 00:04:35,Very slick, Webs.

00:04:35,994 --> 00:04:37,I also took over
the police dispatch,

00:04:37,363 --> 00:04:38,blurred their satellite
imaging system,

00:04:38,964 --> 00:04:40,grounded their chopper.

00:04:40,366 --> 00:04:42,And one more thing.

00:04:42,133 --> 00:04:43,You didn't.

00:04:43,302 --> 00:04:44,I g***t a special delivery for...

00:04:45,003 --> 00:04:46,Ah! Ooh! Don't eat me!

00:04:46,305 --> 00:04:48,Please! Don't eat me!

00:04:48,407 --> 00:04:50,Happy birthday,
Mr. Grumpy Pants.

00:04:51,076 --> 00:04:52,I think I hate you.

00:05:06,258 --> 00:05:07,Guys, it's me.

00:05:08,093 --> 00:05:09,I was the construction worker.

00:05:09,861 --> 00:05:11,And this is Mr. Shark,

00:05:11,930 --> 00:05:13,master of disguise,

00:05:13,565 --> 00:05:16,apex predator
of a thousand faces.

00:05:17,636 --> 00:05:19,His greatest trick:
stealing the Mona Lisa

00:05:19,371 --> 00:05:22,disguised as the Mona Lisa.

00:05:22,341 --> 00:05:23,Dig that.

00:05:23,542 --> 00:05:24,Watch it, big tuna.

00:05:24,976 --> 00:05:26,I'm trying to work here.

00:05:26,211 --> 00:05:27,Keep it cool, baby.

00:05:27,813 --> 00:05:29,Birthdays should be chill.

00:05:30,782 --> 00:05:32,And rounding out the crew...

00:05:34,620 --> 00:05:35,Surprise!

00:05:37,222 --> 00:05:38,...is Mr. Piranha.

00:05:39,558 --> 00:05:41,He's a loose cannon
with a short fuse,

00:05:42,127 --> 00:05:44,willing to scrap
with anyone or anything.

00:05:44,162 --> 00:05:45,He's brave.

00:05:45,964 --> 00:05:48,He's fearless.

00:05:48,300 --> 00:05:50,Uh, who ** I kidding?
He's crazy.

00:05:50,369 --> 00:05:53,Santo cielo,
that's a lot of po-po.

00:05:53,204 --> 00:05:56,Uh, Piranha,
did we forget something?

00:05:56,908 --> 00:05:58,- What?
- The present.

00:05:58,710 --> 00:06:00,- You know.
- Oh, um...

00:06:00,479 --> 00:06:02,Of-of course I didn't forget.

00:06:02,781 --> 00:06:05,You know you fart when you lie, right?

00:06:05,250 --> 00:06:06,What? No, I fart
when I'm nervous.

00:06:07,018 --> 00:06:08,Yeah. Nervous about lying.

00:06:08,454 --> 00:06:10,I'm sorry.

00:06:10,255 --> 00:06:11,Piranha!

00:06:11,923 --> 00:06:13,Don't breathe it in.

00:06:13,425 --> 00:06:14,I breathed it in!

00:06:14,793 --> 00:06:16,Yeah, they're a bit eccentric,

00:06:16,528 --> 00:06:18,but when you're born us,
you don't exactly win

00:06:18,364 --> 00:06:19,many popularity contests.

00:06:20,131 --> 00:06:22,- Shark!
- Shark!

00:06:22,568 --> 00:06:25,Do I wish people
didn't see us as monsters?

00:06:25,170 --> 00:06:26,Eight legs,
eight times the cardio.

00:06:26,672 --> 00:06:27,Monster!

00:06:27,806 --> 00:06:29,- Sure, I do.
- What's up, papa?

00:06:29,608 --> 00:06:30,But these are
the cards we've been dealt,

00:06:30,876 --> 00:06:32,so we might as well play 'em.

00:06:32,444 --> 00:06:33,Jackpot!

00:06:33,845 --> 00:06:35,Yes!

00:06:45,757 --> 00:06:47,Um...

00:06:47,158 --> 00:06:48,- What the thorax?
-...