The.Bad.Guys.2022. Movie Subtitles

1 00:00:34,654 --> 00:00:39,654 Provided by explosiveskull https://twitter.com/kaboomskull 2 00:00:41,627 --> 00:00:43,095 Stop. 3 00:00:43,229 --> 00:00:44,863 I'll stop if you just explain it to me, 4 00:00:44,997 --> 00:00:46,432 - because I don't... - Would you please just drop it? 5 00:00:46,565 --> 00:00:47,899 All right, all right, fine, fine, fine, fine. 6 00:00:48,034 --> 00:00:49,035 Consider it dropped. It's dropped. 7 00:00:49,168 --> 00:00:51,170 - It's on the ground. - Good. 8 00:00:52,171 --> 00:00:54,040 But, I mean, come on, everybody loves birthdays. 9 00:00:54,173 --> 00:00:55,907 You g***t decorations. 10 00:00:56,042 --> 00:00:57,909 You g***t balloons. You g***t parties and cake. 11 00:00:58,044 --> 00:00:59,545 Look, I don't need presents, 12 00:00:59,678 --> 00:01:02,681 I don't want decorations, and I'm-I'm not a cake guy. 13 00:01:02,814 --> 00:01:04,650 Seriously, though, you don't like cake? 14 00:01:04,783 --> 00:01:06,652 Name one food better than cake. 15 00:01:06,785 --> 00:01:07,919 Guinea pig. 16 00:01:08,054 --> 00:01:09,788 Oh, again with the guinea pig. 17 00:01:09,921 --> 00:01:11,857 I bet if I blindfolded you, 18 00:01:11,990 --> 00:01:13,692 you wouldn't be able to tell the difference 19 00:01:13,825 --> 00:01:15,661 between a skunk and a guinea pig. 20 00:01:15,794 --> 00:01:18,464 Wrong. Snakes have impeccable taste buds. 21 00:01:18,597 --> 00:01:20,599 - I can taste air. - Air? 22 00:01:20,732 --> 00:01:22,234 Yes. Air. 23 00:01:23,669 --> 00:01:25,204 Mm. Nice. 24 00:01:25,337 --> 00:01:27,506 I don't know. They're a little, uh... 25 00:01:27,639 --> 00:01:29,175 a little cute for my taste. 26 00:01:29,308 --> 00:01:31,510 That's what makes them so delicious. 27 00:01:31,643 --> 00:01:33,412 You're not just eating food. 28 00:01:33,545 --> 00:01:35,281 You're eating pure goodness. 29 00:01:35,414 --> 00:01:36,848 It's not about the pig. 30 00:01:36,982 --> 00:01:40,352 It's about what it symbolizes on a deeper level. 31 00:01:41,687 --> 00:01:43,055 So, you can... you can taste air? 32 00:01:43,189 --> 00:01:44,456 What else you g***t? 33 00:01:44,590 --> 00:01:45,757 - Forget about it. - W-W-Wait. 34 00:01:45,891 --> 00:01:47,459 Can you also hear color? 35 00:01:47,593 --> 00:01:49,461 - Can you see sound? - All right, all right. Okay. 36 00:01:49,595 --> 00:01:51,663 'Cause we should really be capitalizing on these skills. 37 00:01:51,797 --> 00:01:53,532 Okay, all right, fine. Get it all out. 38 00:01:53,665 --> 00:01:54,866 - Get it all out now. - Okay, okay. 39 00:01:56,602 --> 00:01:58,170 Look at that. 4:00 p.m. 40 00:01:58,304 --> 00:02:00,539 Now I know the exact moment our friendship died. 41 00:02:02,641 --> 00:02:04,376 - Let's bounce. - Yep. 42 00:02:05,611 --> 00:02:08,947 Tastes like, um, you're gonna stick me with the bill... again. 43 00:02:09,081 --> 00:02:10,849 Well, it is my birthday. 44 00:02:10,982 --> 00:02:12,651 So now you play the birthday card? 45 00:02:12,784 --> 00:02:14,486 That's interesting. 46 00:02:14,620 --> 00:02:17,923 Can we get a check, please, when you get a chance? 47 00:02:18,056 --> 00:02:20,959 Hello? Checkity-check-check. 48 00:02:21,093 --> 00:02:22,594 You know what? 49 00:02:22,728 --> 00:02:26,031 We're just gonna leave the money right here, okay? 50 00:02:26,165 --> 00:02:27,899 You know the one good thing about this place? 51 00:02:28,033 --> 00:02:29,801 - What? - We never have to wait for a table. 52 00:02:29,935 --> 00:02:31,237 Well, isn't that every place? 53 00:02:31,370 --> 00:02:32,938 Hey, man. How you been? I haven't seen you in... 54 00:02:33,071 --> 00:02:35,073 Snake attack! 55 00:02:35,207 --> 00:02:36,775 Oh. Mints. 56 00:02:36,908 --> 00:02:38,644 Sorry, folks. I'm switching him to decaf. 57 00:02:40,246 --> 00:02:41,380 All right. 58 00:02:41,513 --> 00:02:43,149 Let's do this. 59 00:02:56,328 --> 00:02:57,529 Guinea pig, huh? 60 00:02:57,663 --> 00:02:59,531 It's the Rolls-Royce of rodents. 61 00:02:59,665 --> 00:03:01,300 Yeah, but it's still a rodent. 62 00:03:01,433 --> 00:03:03,269 You know what I mean? 63 00:03:03,402 --> 00:03:05,437 Don't mind us, just robbing this place. 64 00:03:19,385 --> 00:03:20,586 Whoo! Yeah! 65 00:03:20,719 --> 00:03:22,421 - Go bad... - Or go home. 66 00:03:28,059 --> 00:03:30,929 Hey, you. Get over here. 67 00:03:31,062 --> 00:03:33,532 Little bit closer. 68 00:03:33,665 --> 00:03:35,967 Oh, I know what it is. 69 00:03:36,101 --> 00:03:39,771 You're afraid because I'm the... the Big Bad Wolf. 70 00:03:39,905 --> 00:03:41,573 Well, I'm not surprised. 71 00:03:41,707 --> 00:03:43,475 I ** the villain in every story. 72 00:03:43,609 --> 00:03:44,710 Isn't that right, Mr. Snake? 73 00:03:44,843 --> 00:03:46,111 Yep. 74 00:03:46,245 --> 00:03:49,215 Say hello to Mr. Snake. 75 00:03:49,348 --> 00:03:51,149 Serpentine, safe-cracking machine. 76 00:03:51,283 --> 00:03:53,385 Imagine Houdini but with no arms. 77 00:03:53,519 --> 00:03:55,521 Kind of guy who'd tell you the glass is half empty, 78 00:03:55,654 --> 00:03:56,922 then steal it from you. 79 00:03:57,055 --> 00:03:58,424 He's also my best bud. 80 00:03:58,557 --> 00:04:00,892 And today's his birthday! 81 00:04:01,026 --> 00:04:03,094 - Not relevant. - He's a sweetheart. 82 00:04:03,229 --> 00:04:04,896 You're a sweetheart. 83 00:04:05,030 --> 00:04:07,098 Well, look who's here. 84 00:04:07,233 --> 00:04:09,868 Took 'em long enough. 85 00:04:13,839 --> 00:04:15,741 Watch this. 86 00:04:15,874 --> 00:04:17,476 Three. 87 00:04:17,609 --> 00:04:19,511 Two. One. 88 00:04:21,046 --> 00:04:22,714 And over here is Ms. Tarantula, 89 00:04:22,848 --> 00:04:25,183 our in-house hacker, our pocket search engine, 90 00:04:25,317 --> 00:04:26,785 our traveling tech wizard. 91 00:04:26,918 --> 00:04:28,620 We call her Webs. 92 00:04:34,760 --> 00:04:35,861 Very slick, Webs. 93 00:04:35,994 --> 00:04:37,229 I also took over the police dispatch, 94 00:04:37,363 --> 00:04:38,830 blurred their satellite imaging system, 95 00:04:38,964 --> 00:04:40,232 grounded their chopper. 96 00:04:40,366 --> 00:04:42,000 And one more thing. 97 00:04:42,133 --> 00:04:43,168 You didn't. 98 00:04:43,302 --> 00:04:44,870 I g***t a special delivery for... 99 00:04:45,003 --> 00:04:46,171 Ah! Ooh! Don't eat me! 100 00:04:46,305 --> 00:04:48,274 Please! Don't eat me! 101 00:04:48,407 --> 00:04:50,942 Happy birthday, Mr. Grumpy Pants. 102 00:04:51,076 --> 00:04:52,778 I think I hate you. 103 00:05:06,258 --> 00:05:07,959 Guys, it's me. 104 00:05:08,093 --> 00:05:09,728 I was the construction worker. 105 00:05:09,861 --> 00:05:11,797 And this is Mr. Shark, 106 00:05:11,930 --> 00:05:13,432 master of disguise, 107 00:05:13,565 --> 00:05:16,468 apex predator of a thousand faces. 108 00:05:17,636 --> 00:05:19,237 His greatest trick: stealing the Mona Lisa 109 00:05:19,371 --> 00:05:22,207 disguised as the Mona Lisa. 110 00:05:22,341 --> 00:05:23,409 Dig that. 111 00:05:23,542 --> 00:05:24,843 Watch it, big tuna. 112 00:05:24,976 --> 00:05:26,077 I'm trying to work here. 113 00:05:26,211 --> 00:05:27,679 Keep it cool, baby. 114 00:05:27,813 --> 00:05:29,481 Birthdays should be chill. 115 00:05:30,782 --> 00:05:32,384 And rounding out the crew... 116 00:05:34,620 --> 00:05:35,787 Surprise! 117 00:05:37,222 --> 00:05:38,724 ...is Mr. Piranha. 118 00:05:39,558 --> 00:05:41,993 He's a loose cannon with a short fuse, 119 00:05:42,127 --> 00:05:44,029 willing to scrap with anyone or anything. 120 00:05:44,162 --> 00:05:45,831 He's brave. 121 00:05:45,964 --> 00:05:48,166 He's fearless. 122 00:05:48,300 --> 00:05:50,235 Uh, who ** I kidding? He's crazy. 123 00:05:50,369 --> 00:05:53,071 Santo cielo, that's a lot of po-po. 124 00:05:53,204 --> 00:05:56,775 Uh, Piranha, did we forget something? 125 00:05:56,908 --> 00:05:58,577 - What? - The present. 126 00:05:58,710 --> 00:06:00,346 - You know. - Oh, um... 127 00:06:00,479 --> 00:06:02,648 Of-of course I didn't forget. 128 00:06:02,781 --> 00:06:05,116 You know you fart when you lie, right? 129 00:06:05,250 --> 00:06:06,885 What? No, I fart when I'm nervous. 130 00:06:07,018 --> 00:06:08,320 Yeah. Nervous about lying. 131 00:06:08,454 --> 00:06:10,121 I'm sorry. 132 00:06:10,255 --> 00:06:11,790 Piranha! 133 00:06:11,923 --> 00:06:13,291 Don't breathe it in. 134 00:06:13,425 --> 00:06:14,660 I breathed it in! 135 00:06:14,793 --> 00:06:16,395 Yeah, they're a bit eccentric, 136 00:06:16,528 --> 00:06:18,229 but when you're born us, you don't exactly win 137 00:06:18,364 --> 00:06:19,998 many popularity contests. 138 00:06:20,131 --> 00:06:22,434 - Shark! - Shark! 139 00:06:22,568 --> 00:06:25,036 Do I wish people didn't see us as monsters? 140 00:06:25,170 --> 00:06:26,538 Eight legs, eight times the cardio. 141 00:06:26,672 --> 00:06:27,673 Monster! 142 00:06:27,806 --> 00:06:29,475 - Sure, I do. - What's up, papa? 143 00:06:29,608 --> 00:06:30,742 But these are the cards we've been dealt, 144 00:06:30,876 --> 00:06:32,310 so we might as well play 'em. 145 00:06:32,444 --> 00:06:33,712 Jackpot! 146 00:06:33,845 --> 00:06:35,213 Yes! 147 00:06:45,757 --> 00:06:47,025 Um... 148 00:06:47,158 --> 00:06:48,727 - What the thorax? -...