Ace.Ventura_.Pet.Detective.1994.1080p.BluRay.x264.YIFY Subtitles

00:01:04,600 --> 00:01:06,Heads up! Good defense!

00:01:06,800 --> 00:01:08,Good defense!

00:02:04,500 --> 00:02:06,We're going downtown.

00:02:15,800 --> 00:02:19,Shut the hell up, you stupid mutt!

00:02:20,000 --> 00:02:21,What do you want?

00:02:21,300 --> 00:02:26,HDS, sir. How are you this afternoon?
Alrighty. I have a package for you.

00:02:29,400 --> 00:02:30,It sounds broken.

00:02:31,100 --> 00:02:35,Most likely. I'll bet it was something
nice. This is an insurance form.

00:02:35,800 --> 00:02:38,If you'll just sign here,
here, and here...

00:02:38,800 --> 00:02:41,...we'll get the rest of the forms
to you soon.

00:02:45,500 --> 00:02:47,That's a lovely dog.

00:02:47,500 --> 00:02:51,- Do you mind if I pet him?
- I don't give a rat's a***s.

00:03:02,900 --> 00:03:04,Oh, brother!

00:03:05,000 --> 00:03:07,That's fine. I can finish the rest.

00:03:07,300 --> 00:03:10,You just have yourself a good day.
Take care now. Bye-bye.

00:03:23,400 --> 00:03:25,Excuse me! HDS!

00:03:25,600 --> 00:03:27,HDS! Coming through!

00:03:27,700 --> 00:03:29,G***t a package, people!

00:03:43,600 --> 00:03:45,Get away from the door.

00:03:48,600 --> 00:03:51,What's the matter with you?
I said, get!

00:03:56,700 --> 00:03:57,Son of a bitch!

00:03:58,500 --> 00:04:00,That was a close one!

00:04:01,200 --> 00:04:02,Unfortunately...

00:04:02,500 --> 00:04:05,...in every contest
there must be a loser.

00:04:17,500 --> 00:04:18,Hungry, fellow?

00:04:23,100 --> 00:04:24,There you go.

00:04:29,200 --> 00:04:32,No problem. It gets flooded.
We'll just wait a few seconds.

00:04:34,100 --> 00:04:35,Or we can try it now.

00:04:36,100 --> 00:04:37,Putz!

00:04:37,400 --> 00:04:38,Come on!

00:04:39,000 --> 00:04:40,Get out! Get out!

00:04:43,600 --> 00:04:46,Warning: Assholes
are closer than they appear!

00:04:51,100 --> 00:04:53,Give me a push while you're back there.

00:04:55,600 --> 00:04:57,Alrighty, then!

00:05:00,800 --> 00:05:02,It's alive!

00:05:02,600 --> 00:05:04,It's alive!

00:05:48,000 --> 00:05:52,My little baby, come here.
You missed Mommy, didn't you?

00:05:52,900 --> 00:05:57,Yes, you did. Did Daddy hurt you?
I won't let him. No, I won't.

00:05:58,000 --> 00:06:02,He can keep the big TV, but he's not
gonna hurt my baby, no he's not.

00:06:06,300 --> 00:06:08,Thank you, Mr. Ventura.

00:06:11,400 --> 00:06:13,How can I ever repay you?

00:06:13,400 --> 00:06:14,A reward would be good.

00:06:15,000 --> 00:06:19,There is some damage to my car,
and I had to fill it with premium.

00:06:22,500 --> 00:06:25,Would you like for me
to take your pants off instead?

00:06:27,000 --> 00:06:29,Gee! Let me think.

00:06:30,000 --> 00:06:31,Sure.

00:06:39,800 --> 00:06:42,People are real friendly around here.

00:08:39,000 --> 00:08:40,Ventura!

00:08:42,900 --> 00:08:44,Yes, Satan?

00:08:45,500 --> 00:08:48,I'm sorry, sir.
You sounded like someone else.

00:08:48,700 --> 00:08:51,Never mind the wisecracks, Ventura.

00:08:53,800 --> 00:08:55,You owe me rent.

00:08:55,500 --> 00:08:58,Mr. Shickadance, I told you,
you're my first priority.

00:08:58,900 --> 00:09:02,I'm on a very big case right now.
Check this out.

00:09:02,600 --> 00:09:05,Look at that.
That's a true albino pigeon.

00:09:05,700 --> 00:09:09,Some rich guy lost it.
He's offering a $25,000 reward.

00:09:09,300 --> 00:09:11,As soon as I find this bird...

00:09:11,500 --> 00:09:12,...you're paid.

00:09:12,800 --> 00:09:15,I heard animals in there.

00:09:15,400 --> 00:09:18,I heard them again this morning,
scratching around.

00:09:18,400 --> 00:09:20,I never bring my work home with me.

00:09:20,700 --> 00:09:22,Oh, yeah?

00:09:22,300 --> 00:09:25,What's all this pet food for?

00:09:26,000 --> 00:09:26,Fiber.

00:09:28,800 --> 00:09:30,Wanna take a look inside? Come on!

00:09:31,600 --> 00:09:32,Come on!

00:09:45,200 --> 00:09:47,Go ahead. Snoop around!

00:10:00,500 --> 00:10:01,Well?

00:10:01,800 --> 00:10:03,Are you satisfied?

00:10:06,000 --> 00:10:10,Just don't let me catch you
with an animal in here. That's all.

00:10:10,600 --> 00:10:11,All right.

00:10:12,100 --> 00:10:14,Take care, now. Bye-bye, then.

00:10:16,300 --> 00:10:17,Loser!

00:10:44,900 --> 00:10:46,Come to me, jungle friends.

00:11:01,700 --> 00:11:04,Roger, let me ask you one question.

00:11:04,900 --> 00:11:07,How in hell do you lose
a 500-pound fish?

00:11:09,300 --> 00:11:10,What?

00:11:10,300 --> 00:11:12,I'm sorry, I was just going to say...

00:11:12,800 --> 00:11:15,...that it's not a fish. It's a mammal.

00:11:15,800 --> 00:11:18,Thank you, Miss Jacques Cousteau.

00:11:18,400 --> 00:11:20,She didn't mean anything by that.

00:11:20,400 --> 00:11:23,I don't give a good goddamn
about that fish!

00:11:23,900 --> 00:11:26,Fillet it and fast-food it
if you want to!

00:11:26,500 --> 00:11:29,All I give a d***n about is
winning the Super Bowl!

00:11:30,100 --> 00:11:33,My athletes have g***t to have
their heads in the right place!

00:11:34,000 --> 00:11:38,S***t, Roger! You've been
in this business a long time.

00:11:38,600 --> 00:11:41,You know how superstitious
these players are.

00:11:42,100 --> 00:11:46,I have a quarterback that's put his
socks on backwards since high school.

00:11:46,400 --> 00:11:50,I've g***t a linebacker that hasn't washed
his jockey strap in two years...

00:11:50,800 --> 00:11:53,...because he thinks flies are lucky.

00:11:53,800 --> 00:11:57,I want that fish on that field
Super Bowl Sunday.

00:11:57,700 --> 00:11:59,Find the fish...

00:11:59,400 --> 00:12:01,...or find new jobs!

00:12:01,300 --> 00:12:04,Why did it happen now,
two weeks before the Super Bowl?

00:12:04,400 --> 00:12:07,I'll tell you, it's those
animal-rights activists!

00:12:07,600 --> 00:12:09,Always out with their signs:

00:12:09,600 --> 00:12:12,"Animals were born free!
Stop torturing Snowflake!"

00:12:12,700 --> 00:12:14,That fish lives better than they do.

00:12:15,000 --> 00:12:19,The police are checking into the animal-
rights groups. Have they called back?

00:12:19,900 --> 00:12:23,No, but I wanted to tell you,
when I lost my Cuddles...

00:12:23,500 --> 00:12:25,...I hired a pet detective.

00:12:25,800 --> 00:12:26,A what?

00:12:27,300 --> 00:12:29,A pet detective.

00:12:31,000 --> 00:12:34,Thanks, Martha, but we better
leave this to professionals.

00:12:34,300 --> 00:12:36,Well, actually, he was quite good.

00:12:36,600 --> 00:12:41,Pet detection is a very involved,
highly scientific process.

00:13:35,700 --> 00:13:37,Like a glove!

00:13:47,700 --> 00:13:49,Mr. Ventura here to see you.

00:13:50,800 --> 00:13:51,Thanks, Martha.

00:13:52,100 --> 00:13:53,Hi, I'm Melissa Robinson.

00:13:53,900 --> 00:13:55,Pleasure to meet you.

00:13:55,800 --> 00:13:57,Any trouble getting in?

00:13:57,700 --> 00:14:01,No, the guy with the rubber glove
was surprisingly gentle.

00:14:02,200 --> 00:14:04,Security's tight Super Bowl week.

00:14:05,200 --> 00:14:08,Why don't you have a seat?
I'll get right to the point.

00:14:09,100 --> 00:14:13,Our mascot was stolen from his tank last
night. Are you familiar with Snowflake?

00:14:14,200 --> 00:14:15,Negative.

00:14:15,600 --> 00:14:19,We g***t him from Miami.
He's a rare bottle-nosed dolphin.

00:14:19,400 --> 00:14:22,This is a new trick he was
going to do for the halftime show.

00:14:23,000 --> 00:14:24,Let's go.

00:14:24,300 --> 00:14:26,Blue 42, blue 42!

00:14:26,500 --> 00:14:27,Hut, hut!

00:14:31,400 --> 00:14:32,All right!

00:14:37,600 --> 00:14:39,Come on, let's go!

00:14:44,100 --> 00:14:45,Good boy!

00:14:54,200 --> 00:14:55,Would you like an ashtray?

00:14:57,300 --> 00:14:58,I don't smoke.

00:14:58,800 --> 00:15:00,It's a disgusting habit.

00:15:06,900 --> 00:15:08,The police came today.

00:15:08,600 --> 00:15:11,Apparently, the kidnappers
came in through the back with a...

00:15:12,300 --> 00:15:15,Four-wheel-drive van,
loaded from the rear.

00:15:16,600 --> 00:15:18,Roger, how you holding up?

00:15:18,600 --> 00:15:22,If I'm walking funny it's because
I g***t two dozen reporters up my a***s.

00:15:22,600 --> 00:15:25,They've been asking me
about Snowflake all morning.

00:15:28,800 --> 00:15:30,Who's he?

00:15:30,200 --> 00:15:32,Roger Podacter, meet Ace Ventura.

00:15:33,000 --> 00:15:34,He's our pet detective.

00:15:35,500 --> 00:15:39,Nice to meet you. You came very...