The.Goldbergs.2013.S10E13.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP5.1.H.264-NTb_track3_[eng] Subtitles

00:00:02,350 --> 00:00:04,Back in the '80s,
Beverly Goldberg

00:00:04,308 --> 00:00:05,was a certified super mom.

00:00:05,657 --> 00:00:07,Kissy monster attack!

00:00:07,703 --> 00:00:10,She raised three kids
with a parenting style
that was uniquely her own.

00:00:10,619 --> 00:00:12,Mom!

00:00:12,142 --> 00:00:13,But now my sister had a baby. -

00:00:13,317 --> 00:00:15,And it was Erica's turn
to do her mom thing.

00:00:15,885 --> 00:00:17,Man, this girl
is cranky.

00:00:17,452 --> 00:00:19,What's your deal, baby?

00:00:19,106 --> 00:00:20,I know you don't have words,
but tell me!

00:00:20,846 --> 00:00:23,Oh, that's my rock.
Always cool under pressure.

00:00:23,023 --> 00:00:24,Sorry, it's just
really frustrating

00:00:24,981 --> 00:00:26,not being able
to calm her.

00:00:26,113 --> 00:00:27,Let's just call
the pediatrician,

00:00:27,462 --> 00:00:29,or that Army doctor
that watches the president.

00:00:29,725 --> 00:00:33,Relax. The only healer
you need is Dr. Bev.

00:00:33,163 --> 00:00:35,Mom, go back to making
an impossibly heavy lunch.

00:00:35,731 --> 00:00:37,My 12-bean chili can wait.

00:00:37,733 --> 00:00:39,12? Isn't that
just all the beans?

00:00:39,735 --> 00:00:41,Don't engage her.
Mom, we g***t this.

00:00:41,563 --> 00:00:43,Do you?

00:00:43,565 --> 00:00:45,What if she has diaper rash,
or cradle cap, or cooties,

00:00:45,828 --> 00:00:47,or Pac-Man fever?

00:00:47,786 --> 00:00:48,I'm pretty sure
some of those are made up

00:00:48,918 --> 00:00:50,and one is a song?

00:00:50,354 --> 00:00:52,Just let me use
my sure-fire method

00:00:52,095 --> 00:00:53,of soothing any baby.

00:00:53,705 --> 00:00:54,Don't say
a chicken bone.

00:00:54,880 --> 00:00:57,A chicken bone,
nature's pacifier.

00:00:57,796 --> 00:01:00,I'm not letting my baby gnaw
on a day-old drumstick.

00:01:00,712 --> 00:01:02,Why is that
in your pocket?

00:01:02,192 --> 00:01:04,You don't ask Shakespeare
why he carries a quill.

00:01:04,107 --> 00:01:05,Face it, Mom.

00:01:05,239 --> 00:01:07,Your baby tricks
are weird and outdated.

00:01:07,415 --> 00:01:10,Excuse me, but I have raised
three children

00:01:10,113 --> 00:01:12,who are all
now thriving adults.

00:01:12,594 --> 00:01:14,Hey, anyone know
what day it is?

00:01:14,117 --> 00:01:15,I have a dental appointment
on Friday.

00:01:15,510 --> 00:01:16,It's Saturday.

00:01:16,598 --> 00:01:18,Well, my intense
jaw pain

00:01:18,643 --> 00:01:19,will probably go away
on its own, right?-

00:01:19,862 --> 00:01:21,Terrible news!

00:01:21,429 --> 00:01:23,I was playing playground
basketball and lost!

00:01:23,822 --> 00:01:26,The other guys were cheating
by being taller and fitter!

00:01:26,042 --> 00:01:27,Oh, Poopie!

00:01:27,913 --> 00:01:29,Your heart is racing.

00:01:29,350 --> 00:01:30,I punted their ball
into the woods,

00:01:30,394 --> 00:01:32,but it only settled me down
a little.

00:01:32,004 --> 00:01:33,Well, I have the solution

00:01:33,136 --> 00:01:35,for both my Schmoos
right here.

00:01:35,530 --> 00:01:38,Barry, this ol' bone
should ease your restless mind.

00:01:38,794 --> 00:01:41,All my worries
are melted away
with the power of chicken.

00:01:41,536 --> 00:01:43,Wh-- If Barry gets a bone,
I want one.

00:01:43,146 --> 00:01:45,Of course you do. Mm.

00:01:45,627 --> 00:01:47,You can't argue
with results, Erica.

00:01:47,411 --> 00:01:50,You've certainly done
a number on these two.

00:01:50,284 --> 00:01:51,♪ I'm twisted up inside ♪

00:01:51,981 --> 00:01:54,♪ But nonetheless,
I feel the need to say ♪

00:01:57,813 --> 00:01:59,♪ I don't know the future ♪

00:01:59,380 --> 00:02:02,♪ But the past keeps getting
clearer every day ♪

00:02:02,861 --> 00:02:05,It was February 15th,
1980-something.

00:02:05,168 --> 00:02:08,Barry and I had been sharing
a bedroom as adult brothers.

00:02:08,040 --> 00:02:09,And this is pretty much
how it was going.

00:02:09,999 --> 00:02:11,Gah! The hell, Barry?

00:02:11,479 --> 00:02:13,Cross at your own risk.

00:02:13,263 --> 00:02:15,This sliver of space
is now my training dojo.

00:02:15,831 --> 00:02:17,Kee-ya!

00:02:17,615 --> 00:02:19,There's the entire outside
for you to pretend
what you do matters.

00:02:19,878 --> 00:02:22,'Chuck in nature where
the elements also attack?

00:02:22,968 --> 00:02:24,Think before you speak.

00:02:24,622 --> 00:02:26,Turns out, my childhood bedroom

00:02:26,537 --> 00:02:29,was way too cramped
for two grown men.

00:02:29,061 --> 00:02:31,Why are you blocking
my path?

00:02:31,151 --> 00:02:32,Why are you
wearing a towel

00:02:32,413 --> 00:02:35,- around your n***s
like a lady?
- Wow.

00:02:35,459 --> 00:02:37,And, of course, I had
a serious girlfriend.

00:02:37,157 --> 00:02:38,Not that Barry cared.

00:02:38,636 --> 00:02:40,Carmen, I miss your face.

00:02:40,508 --> 00:02:43,I haven't seen you in...
37 excruciating minutes.

00:02:43,598 --> 00:02:45,The hell, dude?

00:02:45,295 --> 00:02:47,The thought of you
being romantic disgusts me.

00:02:47,906 --> 00:02:49,And if we're being honest,
probably her.

00:02:49,995 --> 00:02:51,But even worse than
the small space,

00:02:51,954 --> 00:02:54,we were both very stubborn.

00:02:54,261 --> 00:02:57,- Get the lights.
- Already tucked in.
You get 'em.

00:02:57,133 --> 00:02:58,- I g***t in bed first.
- You're closer.

00:03:01,006 --> 00:03:02,And now you're closer.

00:03:02,486 --> 00:03:05,How incredibly petty.
I'm impressed.

00:03:05,228 --> 00:03:06,I will stand here all night.

00:03:06,795 --> 00:03:09,I know how much you need
your precious darkness.

00:03:09,319 --> 00:03:11,My jacked eyelids will be
my blackout curtains.

00:03:13,236 --> 00:03:14,I'll kill you
and everyone you know

00:03:14,455 --> 00:03:15,and some you don't!

00:03:15,847 --> 00:03:16,You're right by
the light switch!

00:03:16,935 --> 00:03:18,Just hit it
and end this!

00:03:18,241 --> 00:03:20,I'd rather
never sleep again.

00:03:20,025 --> 00:03:21,Fine by me!
Good night!

00:03:21,984 --> 00:03:23,Good night to you, too!

00:03:23,464 --> 00:03:25,What is going on in here?

00:03:25,074 --> 00:03:26,I need to move out.

00:03:26,380 --> 00:03:28,Ideally,
to a modern penthouse

00:03:28,077 --> 00:03:30,with a 360-degree view
and a live-in butler.

00:03:30,732 --> 00:03:33,But I'll take a slightly
lower level and a sassy maid.

00:03:33,474 --> 00:03:35,You could stay here
and I'll be your sassy maid.

00:03:35,432 --> 00:03:36,Fun stuff.

00:03:36,868 --> 00:03:38,Now get on the horn
with the Realtor

00:03:38,348 --> 00:03:40,and see what's available
near the mayor's mansion.

00:03:40,307 --> 00:03:42,So, I'm paying
for you to leave me?

00:03:42,613 --> 00:03:44,I'm a medical student.

00:03:44,354 --> 00:03:46,Well, you're also an adult.
So figure it out on your own.

00:03:46,748 --> 00:03:48,Yesterday you
brushed out my hair

00:03:48,140 --> 00:03:49,as I was watching
"Scooby-Doo!"

00:03:49,620 --> 00:03:51,You're my little Shaggy,
and you're not going anywhere.

00:03:51,883 --> 00:03:53,Mwah!

00:03:53,972 --> 00:03:55,I need
to get out of here.

00:03:55,974 --> 00:03:57,I've never been
with you more.

00:03:57,628 --> 00:04:00,- Now turn out the lights!
- Never!

00:04:00,240 --> 00:04:01,Out of funds and options,

00:04:01,328 --> 00:04:03,Barry went to the JTP,

00:04:03,634 --> 00:04:05,his best buds,
who would never refuse him.

00:04:05,767 --> 00:04:07,- No way.
- Pass.

00:04:07,334 --> 00:04:10,- Sorry, bud.
- But it's me, Barry!

00:04:10,511 --> 00:04:13,The original guy, Barry!

00:04:13,209 --> 00:04:15,We love you, Big Tasty,
but we've g***t no room.

00:04:15,124 --> 00:04:16,What about my old room?

00:04:16,299 --> 00:04:17,The one with all
the holes in the wall

00:04:17,561 --> 00:04:19,from your homemade
hunting bow?

00:04:19,171 --> 00:04:20,You mean the adorable
peek-a-boo holes

00:04:20,390 --> 00:04:21,I made to the kitchen?-It's my room now.

00:04:21,913 --> 00:04:23,No way!

00:04:23,567 --> 00:04:26,Andy can sleep in a drawer,
or a shoe box,

00:04:26,222 --> 00:04:28,or whatever box you use
to ship one Skittle.

00:04:28,137 --> 00:04:31,First, I would
be average height
if we lived in Ecuador.

00:04:31,227 --> 00:04:33,And I think what
you just said highlights
the main problem here,

00:04:33,925 --> 00:04:35,you were
a...