Newhart s02e04 The Stratford Wives Subtitles

00:00:56,040 --> 00:00:57,This is awful.

00:00:57,100 --> 00:01:01,What? I can't stand to read about
current events anymore. It's just one

00:01:01,620 --> 00:01:02,depressing thing after another.

00:01:03,260 --> 00:01:04,What are you reading about?

00:01:04,480 --> 00:01:05,Leather jumpsuits.

00:01:06,940 --> 00:01:09,Everyone says they're in this year, and
it just makes me sick.

00:01:10,340 --> 00:01:14,It's a brutal world, Stephanie, but we
can't let it keep us from our dusting.

00:01:15,320 --> 00:01:16,Right.

00:01:18,320 --> 00:01:19,Morning.

00:01:20,180 --> 00:01:24,D***k, I just did something by accident,
and I feel terrible about it.

00:01:24,720 --> 00:01:25,What is it?

00:01:25,720 --> 00:01:26,I opened all of your mail.

00:01:30,220 --> 00:01:34,You opened all of this by accident? It
was put in my box by mistake, but I

00:01:34,040 --> 00:01:35,didn't read any of it.

00:01:35,480 --> 00:01:39,All I looked at was one thing from a
record club.

00:01:39,260 --> 00:01:40,I'm really sorry about it.

00:01:40,820 --> 00:01:41,It's okay, I guess.

00:01:42,380 --> 00:01:43,So, are you going to join the record
club?

00:01:45,260 --> 00:01:46,I doubt it.

00:01:46,700 --> 00:01:49,Wise move, considering the size of your
electric bill.

00:01:53,020 --> 00:01:55,Kirk, there's smoke coming from your
cafe.

00:01:55,560 --> 00:01:57,I guess it's time to flip those burgers.

00:02:01,560 --> 00:02:05,People, go back in. It's not a fire.
It's just a little smoke.

00:02:10,199 --> 00:02:12,D***k, I picked up a copy of the Times
for you.

00:02:13,240 --> 00:02:15,Did you get my loofah sponges? Yes.

00:02:16,440 --> 00:02:18,Thanks. Loofah sponges?

00:02:18,680 --> 00:02:22,It's beauty night. I set aside one night
a week to maintain myself.

00:02:23,480 --> 00:02:24,What are you using them for?

00:02:24,890 --> 00:02:28,Well, I use them to scrub away dead, dry
skin. Do you want to try one?

00:02:28,790 --> 00:02:32,No. No, I have someone come in once a
week to do that.

00:02:34,490 --> 00:02:35,So, how are things in town?

00:02:36,090 --> 00:02:40,Great. I ran into Mrs. Wanamaker at the
drugstore, and she invited the two of us

00:02:40,330 --> 00:02:41,to a community potluck tonight.

00:02:42,230 --> 00:02:43,Well, maybe sometime we'll do that.

00:02:44,390 --> 00:02:45,I thought we'd do that tonight.

00:02:46,370 --> 00:02:47,What's a potluck?

00:02:48,190 --> 00:02:52,Oh, it's a big mass dinner where people
bring food they wouldn't serve at home.

00:02:54,980 --> 00:02:59,Down into a dingy church basement and
sit around on folding chairs and eat off

00:02:59,340 --> 00:03:00,paper plates.

00:03:02,080 --> 00:03:05,That sounds horrible. It sounds horrible
the way he describes it.

00:03:05,780 --> 00:03:06,I think it sounds like fun.

00:03:08,060 --> 00:03:09,You don't want to go, do you?

00:03:09,780 --> 00:03:13,You know I don't like that kind of
stuff. But D***k, it's a chance to make

00:03:13,280 --> 00:03:15,friends. And it's so New England.

00:03:16,020 --> 00:03:18,No, it's not. We had potluck dinners in
New York and I didn't like them there

00:03:18,980 --> 00:03:20,either. You never want to go anywhere.

00:03:21,120 --> 00:03:23,Yes, I do. No, you don't. And you know
why?

00:03:23,600 --> 00:03:24,Because you don't like people.

00:03:27,140 --> 00:03:28,I do, too, like people.

00:03:28,940 --> 00:03:32,No, you don't. You'd rather sit around
in a torn T -shirt watching television

00:03:32,280 --> 00:03:33,and swilling beer.

00:03:34,820 --> 00:03:36,I never do that.

00:03:36,740 --> 00:03:38,I certainly hope not.

00:03:39,320 --> 00:03:43,Look, D***k, if you don't want to go, we
won't go. I'll just call Mrs. Wanamaker

00:03:43,160 --> 00:03:44,and tell her to count us out.

00:03:44,580 --> 00:03:47,You don't have to do that. You're just
saying that to pacify me.

00:03:47,980 --> 00:03:48,That's true.

00:03:50,080 --> 00:03:52,Well, I'm not going to go anywhere just
to be pacified.

00:03:52,940 --> 00:03:55,If we're both not going to enjoy it, I
think we should just forget it.

00:03:56,440 --> 00:04:00,Dora, Joanna, I just talked to D***k and
we can't wait to come tonight.

00:04:19,049 --> 00:04:22,Isn't this charming? Look at the dishes
and the people in the room.

00:04:23,070 --> 00:04:24,Isn't it wonderful?

00:04:24,370 --> 00:04:25,Yeah.

00:04:27,410 --> 00:04:29,Ready to go? Come on, honey.

00:04:30,230 --> 00:04:32,You promised to at least pretend to have
a good time.

00:04:32,970 --> 00:04:33,I will.

00:04:33,770 --> 00:04:39,Joanna! Come on in. I'm so glad you and
D***k could make it. Well, it was nice of

00:04:39,970 --> 00:04:40,you to invite us.

00:04:41,290 --> 00:04:44,Well, I always say no one should miss
out on one of our potlucks.

00:04:44,850 --> 00:04:48,What's that casserole you've g***t there,
Joanna? That looks pretty exotic.

00:04:48,770 --> 00:04:49,Tuna. Oh.

00:04:50,270 --> 00:04:54,Well, I always say, can't have a good
potluck without four or five tuna

00:04:54,750 --> 00:04:55,casseroles.

00:04:56,410 --> 00:04:58,I'll put it with the others. Here, let
me take your coat.

00:04:59,210 --> 00:05:03,Oh, thank you. Oh, Shirley, come out
here. I want you to meet my wife.

00:05:03,850 --> 00:05:07,Shirley, this is D***k and Joanna Loudon.
How do you do?

00:05:07,670 --> 00:05:10,It's nice to meet you. I'll put these on
the table over there.

00:05:11,130 --> 00:05:14,I feel I know you already. I've heard so
much about you.

00:05:15,210 --> 00:05:16,Oh, really?

00:05:16,370 --> 00:05:20,Well, you can't live in a town this size
and own the Stratford Inn and not have

00:05:20,230 --> 00:05:22,people talk about you. I get that's
true.

00:05:22,990 --> 00:05:23,What do you do, D***k?

00:05:26,890 --> 00:05:28,I'm a writer.

00:05:28,490 --> 00:05:29,A writer?

00:05:29,930 --> 00:05:30,Isn't that interesting?

00:05:32,230 --> 00:05:33,Where are you from? New York.

00:05:34,150 --> 00:05:35,The Big Apple, huh?

00:05:36,770 --> 00:05:38,Shirley, could you help me for a minute?

00:05:38,890 --> 00:05:43,Excuse me. Excuse me. It's so nice to
finally meet the people I've heard so

00:05:43,900 --> 00:05:44,about.

00:05:46,560 --> 00:05:48,How does it feel to be a celebrity?

00:05:49,000 --> 00:05:50,Fine.

00:05:50,740 --> 00:05:52,Well, are you having fun so far?

00:05:52,900 --> 00:05:53,Boy, I **.

00:05:55,120 --> 00:05:59,I think it's just wonderful the way the
whole community gets together like this.

00:05:59,480 --> 00:06:02,There seems to be so much warmth and
fellowship.

00:06:02,600 --> 00:06:03,Okay, everybody!

00:06:07,850 --> 00:06:09,So much for warmth and fellowship.

00:06:10,990 --> 00:06:15,Hey, D***k, you should write a book about
our potluck dinners. You could call it

00:06:15,450 --> 00:06:16,Vittles of Vermont.

00:06:16,970 --> 00:06:20,Right. I have never seen so much food in
all my life.

00:06:20,910 --> 00:06:22,Doesn't it all look wonderful?

00:06:23,050 --> 00:06:26,Can't wait to go back for a second. I'm
going to have to get some of these

00:06:26,190 --> 00:06:27,recipes.

00:06:33,510 --> 00:06:35,Pardon me.

00:06:36,810 --> 00:06:37,I'm a bit confused.

00:06:38,190 --> 00:06:39,Oh? What's wrong?

00:06:40,230 --> 00:06:44,Well, the women are all going into the
kitchen and the men are all staying out

00:06:44,170 --> 00:06:45,here. Yeah?

00:06:46,490 --> 00:06:48,Why aren't we all eating dinner
together?

00:06:49,130 --> 00:06:50,Oh, we never eat together.

00:06:50,990 --> 00:06:51,Why not?

00:06:51,890 --> 00:06:53,I don't know. It's just a tradition.

00:06:54,150 --> 00:06:55,A tradition?

00:06:55,650 --> 00:07:00,Yes, you see, when this all started back
in the 1800s, the farmers used to come

00:07:00,130 --> 00:07:01,into town to sell their crops.

00:07:01,870 --> 00:07:05,Women would cook up some food, bring it
over to the men, then go back to the

00:07:05,790 --> 00:07:08,house and go on about their business.
And it's stayed pretty much the same all

00:07:08,970 --> 00:07:12,these years. The men sit out here and
talk about hunting and fishing, and the

00:07:12,290 --> 00:07:16,women go in the kitchen and talk about
whatever it is women talk about.

00:07:16,790 --> 00:07:17,We like it.

00:07:18,070 --> 00:07:19,Do the women like it?

00:07:19,870 --> 00:07:21,Oh, and they haven't heard any
complaints.

00:07:21,810 --> 00:07:24,Women feel at home in the kitchen, don't
they?

00:07:24,730 --> 00:07:28,But that, that, that, that, that,
that's... That's very interesting.

00:07:28,430 --> 00:07:33,Your tradition, I mean. Well, the
important thing is everybody has a good

00:07:37,580 --> 00:07:38,I don't think I like this.

00:07:39,420 --> 00:07:40,What are you talking about?

00:07:40,680 --> 00:07:43,Well, I'm not going to be packed off to
eat in some hot, steamy kitchen while

00:07:43,960 --> 00:07:45,you sit out here with the men.

00:07:47,580 --> 00:07:50,Honey, remember, I didn't want to come
here in the first place.

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