Newhart s02e04 The Stratford Wives Subtitles

At 00:00:56,040, Character said: This is awful.

2
At 00:00:57,100, Character said: What? I can't stand to read about
current events anymore. It's just one

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At 00:01:01,620, Character said: depressing thing after another.

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At 00:01:03,260, Character said: What are you reading about?

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At 00:01:04,480, Character said: Leather jumpsuits.

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At 00:01:06,940, Character said: Everyone says they're in this year, and
it just makes me sick.

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At 00:01:10,340, Character said: It's a brutal world, Stephanie, but we
can't let it keep us from our dusting.

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At 00:01:15,320, Character said: Right.

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At 00:01:18,320, Character said: Morning.

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At 00:01:20,180, Character said: D***k, I just did something by accident,
and I feel terrible about it.

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At 00:01:24,720, Character said: What is it?

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At 00:01:25,720, Character said: I opened all of your mail.

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At 00:01:30,220, Character said: You opened all of this by accident? It
was put in my box by mistake, but I

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At 00:01:34,040, Character said: didn't read any of it.

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At 00:01:35,480, Character said: All I looked at was one thing from a
record club.

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At 00:01:39,260, Character said: I'm really sorry about it.

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At 00:01:40,820, Character said: It's okay, I guess.

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At 00:01:42,380, Character said: So, are you going to join the record
club?

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At 00:01:45,260, Character said: I doubt it.

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At 00:01:46,700, Character said: Wise move, considering the size of your
electric bill.

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At 00:01:53,020, Character said: Kirk, there's smoke coming from your
cafe.

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At 00:01:55,560, Character said: I guess it's time to flip those burgers.

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At 00:02:01,560, Character said: People, go back in. It's not a fire.
It's just a little smoke.

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At 00:02:10,199, Character said: D***k, I picked up a copy of the Times
for you.

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At 00:02:13,240, Character said: Did you get my loofah sponges? Yes.

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At 00:02:16,440, Character said: Thanks. Loofah sponges?

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At 00:02:18,680, Character said: It's beauty night. I set aside one night
a week to maintain myself.

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At 00:02:23,480, Character said: What are you using them for?

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At 00:02:24,890, Character said: Well, I use them to scrub away dead, dry
skin. Do you want to try one?

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At 00:02:28,790, Character said: No. No, I have someone come in once a
week to do that.

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At 00:02:34,490, Character said: So, how are things in town?

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At 00:02:36,090, Character said: Great. I ran into Mrs. Wanamaker at the
drugstore, and she invited the two of us

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At 00:02:40,330, Character said: to a community potluck tonight.

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At 00:02:42,230, Character said: Well, maybe sometime we'll do that.

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At 00:02:44,390, Character said: I thought we'd do that tonight.

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At 00:02:46,370, Character said: What's a potluck?

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At 00:02:48,190, Character said: Oh, it's a big mass dinner where people
bring food they wouldn't serve at home.

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At 00:02:54,980, Character said: Down into a dingy church basement and
sit around on folding chairs and eat off

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At 00:02:59,340, Character said: paper plates.

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At 00:03:02,080, Character said: That sounds horrible. It sounds horrible
the way he describes it.

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At 00:03:05,780, Character said: I think it sounds like fun.

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At 00:03:08,060, Character said: You don't want to go, do you?

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At 00:03:09,780, Character said: You know I don't like that kind of
stuff. But D***k, it's a chance to make

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At 00:03:13,280, Character said: friends. And it's so New England.

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At 00:03:16,020, Character said: No, it's not. We had potluck dinners in
New York and I didn't like them there

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At 00:03:18,980, Character said: either. You never want to go anywhere.

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At 00:03:21,120, Character said: Yes, I do. No, you don't. And you know
why?

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At 00:03:23,600, Character said: Because you don't like people.

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At 00:03:27,140, Character said: I do, too, like people.

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At 00:03:28,940, Character said: No, you don't. You'd rather sit around
in a torn T -shirt watching television

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At 00:03:32,280, Character said: and swilling beer.

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At 00:03:34,820, Character said: I never do that.

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At 00:03:36,740, Character said: I certainly hope not.

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At 00:03:39,320, Character said: Look, D***k, if you don't want to go, we
won't go. I'll just call Mrs. Wanamaker

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At 00:03:43,160, Character said: and tell her to count us out.

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At 00:03:44,580, Character said: You don't have to do that. You're just
saying that to pacify me.

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At 00:03:47,980, Character said: That's true.

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At 00:03:50,080, Character said: Well, I'm not going to go anywhere just
to be pacified.

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At 00:03:52,940, Character said: If we're both not going to enjoy it, I
think we should just forget it.

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At 00:03:56,440, Character said: Dora, Joanna, I just talked to D***k and
we can't wait to come tonight.

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At 00:04:19,049, Character said: Isn't this charming? Look at the dishes
and the people in the room.

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At 00:04:23,070, Character said: Isn't it wonderful?

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At 00:04:24,370, Character said: Yeah.

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At 00:04:27,410, Character said: Ready to go? Come on, honey.

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At 00:04:30,230, Character said: You promised to at least pretend to have
a good time.

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At 00:04:32,970, Character said: I will.

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At 00:04:33,770, Character said: Joanna! Come on in. I'm so glad you and
D***k could make it. Well, it was nice of

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At 00:04:39,970, Character said: you to invite us.

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At 00:04:41,290, Character said: Well, I always say no one should miss
out on one of our potlucks.

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At 00:04:44,850, Character said: What's that casserole you've g***t there,
Joanna? That looks pretty exotic.

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At 00:04:48,770, Character said: Tuna. Oh.

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At 00:04:50,270, Character said: Well, I always say, can't have a good
potluck without four or five tuna

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At 00:04:54,750, Character said: casseroles.

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At 00:04:56,410, Character said: I'll put it with the others. Here, let
me take your coat.

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At 00:04:59,210, Character said: Oh, thank you. Oh, Shirley, come out
here. I want you to meet my wife.

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At 00:05:03,850, Character said: Shirley, this is D***k and Joanna Loudon.
How do you do?

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At 00:05:07,670, Character said: It's nice to meet you. I'll put these on
the table over there.

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At 00:05:11,130, Character said: I feel I know you already. I've heard so
much about you.

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At 00:05:15,210, Character said: Oh, really?

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At 00:05:16,370, Character said: Well, you can't live in a town this size
and own the Stratford Inn and not have

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At 00:05:20,230, Character said: people talk about you. I get that's
true.

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At 00:05:22,990, Character said: What do you do, D***k?

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At 00:05:26,890, Character said: I'm a writer.

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At 00:05:28,490, Character said: A writer?

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At 00:05:29,930, Character said: Isn't that interesting?

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At 00:05:32,230, Character said: Where are you from? New York.

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At 00:05:34,150, Character said: The Big Apple, huh?

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At 00:05:36,770, Character said: Shirley, could you help me for a minute?

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At 00:05:38,890, Character said: Excuse me. Excuse me. It's so nice to
finally meet the people I've heard so

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At 00:05:43,900, Character said: about.

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At 00:05:46,560, Character said: How does it feel to be a celebrity?

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At 00:05:49,000, Character said: Fine.

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At 00:05:50,740, Character said: Well, are you having fun so far?

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At 00:05:52,900, Character said: Boy, I **.

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At 00:05:55,120, Character said: I think it's just wonderful the way the
whole community gets together like this.

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At 00:05:59,480, Character said: There seems to be so much warmth and
fellowship.

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At 00:06:02,600, Character said: Okay, everybody!

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At 00:06:07,850, Character said: So much for warmth and fellowship.

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At 00:06:10,990, Character said: Hey, D***k, you should write a book about
our potluck dinners. You could call it

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At 00:06:15,450, Character said: Vittles of Vermont.

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At 00:06:16,970, Character said: Right. I have never seen so much food in
all my life.

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At 00:06:20,910, Character said: Doesn't it all look wonderful?

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At 00:06:23,050, Character said: Can't wait to go back for a second. I'm
going to have to get some of these

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At 00:06:26,190, Character said: recipes.

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At 00:06:33,510, Character said: Pardon me.

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At 00:06:36,810, Character said: I'm a bit confused.

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At 00:06:38,190, Character said: Oh? What's wrong?

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At 00:06:40,230, Character said: Well, the women are all going into the
kitchen and the men are all staying out

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At 00:06:44,170, Character said: here. Yeah?

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At 00:06:46,490, Character said: Why aren't we all eating dinner
together?

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At 00:06:49,130, Character said: Oh, we never eat together.

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At 00:06:50,990, Character said: Why not?

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At 00:06:51,890, Character said: I don't know. It's just a tradition.

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At 00:06:54,150, Character said: A tradition?

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At 00:06:55,650, Character said: Yes, you see, when this all started back
in the 1800s, the farmers used to come

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At 00:07:00,130, Character said: into town to sell their crops.

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At 00:07:01,870, Character said: Women would cook up some food, bring it
over to the men, then go back to the

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At 00:07:05,790, Character said: house and go on about their business.
And it's stayed pretty much the same all

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At 00:07:08,970, Character said: these years. The men sit out here and
talk about hunting and fishing, and the

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At 00:07:12,290, Character said: women go in the kitchen and talk about
whatever it is women talk about.

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At 00:07:16,790, Character said: We like it.

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At 00:07:18,070, Character said: Do the women like it?

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At 00:07:19,870, Character said: Oh, and they haven't heard any
complaints.

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At 00:07:21,810, Character said: Women feel at home in the kitchen, don't
they?

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At 00:07:24,730, Character said: But that, that, that, that, that,
that's... That's very interesting.

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At 00:07:28,430, Character said: Your tradition, I mean. Well, the
important thing is everybody has a good

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At 00:07:37,580, Character said: I don't think I like this.

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At 00:07:39,420, Character said: What are you talking about?

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At 00:07:40,680, Character said: Well, I'm not going to be packed off to
eat in some hot, steamy kitchen while

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At 00:07:43,960, Character said: you sit out here with the men.

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At 00:07:47,580, Character said: Honey, remember, I didn't want to come
here in the first place.

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