Newhart S02E09 Subtitles

00:01:08,435 --> 00:01:10,- Stephanie?
If you're not busy,

00:01:10,737 --> 00:01:12,could you come in here
for a minute?

00:01:12,639 --> 00:01:15,- Well, I was busy,
but that's okay.

00:01:15,476 --> 00:01:16,What do you want?

00:01:16,710 --> 00:01:17,- I have something
for you.

00:01:17,978 --> 00:01:19,- What?
- Your first paycheck.

00:01:20,013 --> 00:01:22,- [ gasps ]
Oh, boy. Fantastic.

00:01:22,916 --> 00:01:24,- Oh, your nails
are still wet.

00:01:24,084 --> 00:01:25,Do you want me
to open it for you?

00:01:25,085 --> 00:01:26,- No, no. That's okay.

00:01:29,789 --> 00:01:32,$437.

00:01:32,626 --> 00:01:36,Well.
Guess it'll be good for me

00:01:36,463 --> 00:01:38,to try to get by on this
every week.

00:01:38,332 --> 00:01:40,- Stephanie,
that's not a weekly check.

00:01:40,934 --> 00:01:42,That's a monthly check.

00:01:44,238 --> 00:01:46,- $437 a month?

00:01:46,507 --> 00:01:48,- Well, that's after taxes.

00:01:48,342 --> 00:01:50,And, of course,
we pay for your room

00:01:50,677 --> 00:01:51,and all your meals,

00:01:51,778 --> 00:01:54,so that $is just free and clear

00:01:54,515 --> 00:01:55,to do anything you want.

00:01:55,616 --> 00:01:57,- Yeah.

00:01:59,019 --> 00:02:01,I'm just trying to think
what that could be.

00:02:03,690 --> 00:02:05,- Joanna?
- Yes, George.

00:02:05,091 --> 00:02:07,- Did you order something
from a sporting goods store?

00:02:07,628 --> 00:02:09,- Oh, great. Is it here?
- Yeah.

00:02:09,530 --> 00:02:11,- What did you order?
- A surprise for D***k.

00:02:12,866 --> 00:02:14,- [ gasps ]
Oh, neat.

00:02:14,968 --> 00:02:16,- Here. I'll take this.

00:02:16,603 --> 00:02:18,- All right, just put it down
over there, will you?

00:02:18,872 --> 00:02:21,And let me give you
something for your trouble.

00:02:21,375 --> 00:02:24,- Oh, that won't be necessary.

00:02:25,646 --> 00:02:28,- George, I meant
this gentleman.

00:02:28,282 --> 00:02:29,- Did you want me
to get D***k?

00:02:29,749 --> 00:02:31,- Would you?
Oh, I hope he likes it.

00:02:31,418 --> 00:02:32,- Yeah. Me, too.

00:02:33,987 --> 00:02:36,- D***k? Could you come
out here for a minute?

00:02:36,657 --> 00:02:38,- Here, let's stand
in front of it

00:02:38,124 --> 00:02:40,so he won't see it
when he first comes out.

00:02:44,598 --> 00:02:46,- Surprise!

00:02:47,834 --> 00:02:49,- Oh, wow.

00:02:51,838 --> 00:02:52,- Do you know what it is?

00:02:54,107 --> 00:02:55,- Most of a bike.

00:02:57,344 --> 00:02:59,- It's an exercise bike.

00:02:59,079 --> 00:03:00,I saw it in the store,

00:03:00,414 --> 00:03:02,and I thought it would be
perfect for your study.

00:03:02,482 --> 00:03:04,You can use it when you
take a break from writing.

00:03:06,019 --> 00:03:07,You don't like it, do you?

00:03:07,354 --> 00:03:08,- No, no. Sure I do.

00:03:08,922 --> 00:03:10,It'll be perfect
in the study.

00:03:10,691 --> 00:03:12,Even if I'm not
exercising on it,

00:03:12,759 --> 00:03:15,I'll still get
a lot of exercise...

00:03:15,529 --> 00:03:17,trying to walk around it.

00:03:18,732 --> 00:03:20,- Hey, whose exercise bike?

00:03:20,934 --> 00:03:22,- Uh, mine.

00:03:23,437 --> 00:03:25,- Boy, Marjorie and I
had one of these.

00:03:25,939 --> 00:03:28,We were going to tone up
and firm up.

00:03:28,408 --> 00:03:30,And then, of course,
we broke up.

00:03:32,546 --> 00:03:34,- Get on it. See how it works.

00:03:34,448 --> 00:03:36,- Yeah, honey. Come on.
- Okay.

00:03:41,455 --> 00:03:43,Boy, oh, boy, that, uh...

00:03:48,061 --> 00:03:50,it really gets the old
blood flowing, doesn't it?

00:03:52,132 --> 00:03:53,- I-- I don't understand.

00:03:53,300 --> 00:03:55,Why didn't you just
get a whole bike?

00:03:55,669 --> 00:03:57,- Well, you can only
ride a bike

00:03:57,271 --> 00:03:58,when the weather's nice.

00:03:58,905 --> 00:04:00,You can ride this
24 hours a day,

00:04:00,707 --> 00:04:02,365 days a year.

00:04:02,976 --> 00:04:04,- Isn't that great?

00:04:06,680 --> 00:04:11,- Ohh. What a great
exercise bike.

00:04:11,184 --> 00:04:12,Yours?
- Yeah.

00:04:12,653 --> 00:04:14,- You'll never use it.
- He will, too.

00:04:14,655 --> 00:04:15,- You bought it, right?

00:04:15,656 --> 00:04:17,- Ohh! What do you
want, Kirk?

00:04:17,658 --> 00:04:18,- Okay, listen up,
everybody.

00:04:18,858 --> 00:04:20,I have an announcement
to make.

00:04:20,527 --> 00:04:22,I'm starting
a singles club.

00:04:22,462 --> 00:04:24,- Really?
- Yeah, right here at the inn.

00:04:24,464 --> 00:04:25,- What are you talking about?

00:04:25,632 --> 00:04:26,You're not having
a singles club here.

00:04:26,900 --> 00:04:28,- Why not?

00:04:28,368 --> 00:04:29,You let the Rotary Club
meet here

00:04:30,036 --> 00:04:31,and the Junior
Chamber of Commerce.

00:04:31,571 --> 00:04:33,- That is true, honey.

00:04:33,206 --> 00:04:34,- Well, I mean, they're
hardly the same thing.

00:04:34,708 --> 00:04:35,I mean, I know him.

00:04:35,975 --> 00:04:38,When he says a singles club,
he means mud wrestling.

00:04:40,246 --> 00:04:42,- I think a singles club
is a great idea.

00:04:42,382 --> 00:04:43,It could help all of us.

00:04:43,883 --> 00:04:46,- Not me.
- Oh. Maybe not you,

00:04:46,820 --> 00:04:47,but what about
the rest of us?

00:04:48,054 --> 00:04:49,I'm single,
George is single,

00:04:49,323 --> 00:04:52,Stephanie is single,
Ed's marriage is guano.

00:04:53,593 --> 00:04:55,- I'd like to meet
some new people.

00:04:55,295 --> 00:04:56,- You know, it's really
not a bad thought.

00:04:56,896 --> 00:04:59,- Yeah.
- Kirk, why is it

00:04:59,333 --> 00:05:00,whenever you come up
with an idea,

00:05:00,634 --> 00:05:03,you always come over here
and dump it on me?

00:05:03,269 --> 00:05:06,- Because you're
my best friend.

00:05:06,172 --> 00:05:08,- I don't want to be
your best friend.

00:05:08,375 --> 00:05:10,- Why are you always
so reluctant to help me?

00:05:10,410 --> 00:05:13,- You know, speaking
from personal experience,

00:05:13,480 --> 00:05:15,it is hard to meet
people in this town.

00:05:15,716 --> 00:05:18,- Yeah. A group like Kirk
is talking about

00:05:18,385 --> 00:05:20,would sure make it easier.
- Yeah.

00:05:20,587 --> 00:05:22,- Well, I guess if you feel
that strongly about it,

00:05:22,889 --> 00:05:24,we can--
we can try it once.

00:05:24,524 --> 00:05:25,- Great!

00:05:25,759 --> 00:05:28,- See? It's not so hard
to give, is it, D***k?

00:05:30,063 --> 00:05:31,Okay, we'll have
our first meeting

00:05:31,598 --> 00:05:33,Friday night, 7:00,
in the dining room.

00:05:33,400 --> 00:05:36,- Oh. Friday night? I can't.
I have a date.

00:05:36,436 --> 00:05:38,- I thought you were having
trouble getting dates.

00:05:38,338 --> 00:05:40,- Not in the evenings.

00:05:50,316 --> 00:05:51,- Where's Kirk?

00:05:51,385 --> 00:05:52,- Isn't he in
with the group?

00:05:52,652 --> 00:05:54,- No, and the meeting
was supposed to start

00:05:54,120 --> 00:05:55,20 minutes ago.
- What are they doing?

00:05:55,822 --> 00:05:57,- Nothing. They're
just standing around

00:05:57,090 --> 00:05:59,like a bunch of penguins
staring at each other.

00:05:59,659 --> 00:06:00,I'm going to call him.

00:06:02,796 --> 00:06:03,- Hi, guys.

00:06:06,332 --> 00:06:07,- Where have you been?

00:06:07,601 --> 00:06:09,- This is the first meeting
of my singles club.

00:06:09,803 --> 00:06:11,Hey, I'm the host.

00:06:11,137 --> 00:06:14,This is potentially
a very important night for me.

00:06:14,207 --> 00:06:16,I was gargling.

00:06:16,510 --> 00:06:18,- Those people have been
in there for half an hour.

00:06:18,211 --> 00:06:19,- Why are you so mad at me?

00:06:19,713 --> 00:06:20,- Because this evening
is turning out

00:06:20,980 --> 00:06:22,exactly the way
I knew it would.

00:06:22,449 --> 00:06:23,You said it was
going to be dignified.

00:06:23,983 --> 00:06:25,You show up late,

00:06:25,385 --> 00:06:28,and then you have somebody
paint that stupid sign.

00:06:28,321 --> 00:06:29,- I didn't have anyone
make that sign.

00:06:29,790 --> 00:06:31,I took it out
of the window of my car.

00:06:35,929 --> 00:06:37,- Oh. Hi. I just came out

00:06:37,997 --> 00:06:39,because some of
the singles were wondering

00:06:39,966 --> 00:06:42,if there's going to be
anything to eat or drink.

00:06:42,135 --> 00:06:44,-...