Newhart S02E09 Movie Subtitles

1 00:01:08,435 --> 00:01:10,668 - Stephanie? If you're not busy, 2 00:01:10,737 --> 00:01:12,571 could you come in here for a minute? 3 00:01:12,639 --> 00:01:15,407 - Well, I was busy, but that's okay. 4 00:01:15,476 --> 00:01:16,641 What do you want? 5 00:01:16,710 --> 00:01:17,909 - I have something for you. 6 00:01:17,978 --> 00:01:19,944 - What? - Your first paycheck. 7 00:01:20,013 --> 00:01:22,847 - [ gasps ] Oh, boy. Fantastic. 8 00:01:22,916 --> 00:01:24,015 - Oh, your nails are still wet. 9 00:01:24,084 --> 00:01:25,016 Do you want me to open it for you? 10 00:01:25,085 --> 00:01:26,184 - No, no. That's okay. 11 00:01:29,789 --> 00:01:32,557 $437. 12 00:01:32,626 --> 00:01:36,394 Well. Guess it'll be good for me 13 00:01:36,463 --> 00:01:38,263 to try to get by on this every week. 14 00:01:38,332 --> 00:01:40,865 - Stephanie, that's not a weekly check. 15 00:01:40,934 --> 00:01:42,601 That's a monthly check. 16 00:01:44,238 --> 00:01:46,438 - $437 a month? 17 00:01:46,507 --> 00:01:48,273 - Well, that's after taxes. 18 00:01:48,342 --> 00:01:50,609 And, of course, we pay for your room 19 00:01:50,677 --> 00:01:51,709 and all your meals, 20 00:01:51,778 --> 00:01:54,446 so that $437 is just free and clear 21 00:01:54,515 --> 00:01:55,547 to do anything you want. 22 00:01:55,616 --> 00:01:57,649 - Yeah. 23 00:01:59,019 --> 00:02:01,319 I'm just trying to think what that could be. 24 00:02:03,690 --> 00:02:05,023 - Joanna? - Yes, George. 25 00:02:05,091 --> 00:02:07,559 - Did you order something from a sporting goods store? 26 00:02:07,628 --> 00:02:09,461 - Oh, great. Is it here? - Yeah. 27 00:02:09,530 --> 00:02:11,530 - What did you order? - A surprise for D***k. 28 00:02:12,866 --> 00:02:14,899 - [ gasps ] Oh, neat. 29 00:02:14,968 --> 00:02:16,535 - Here. I'll take this. 30 00:02:16,603 --> 00:02:18,803 - All right, just put it down over there, will you? 31 00:02:18,872 --> 00:02:21,306 And let me give you something for your trouble. 32 00:02:21,375 --> 00:02:24,042 - Oh, that won't be necessary. 33 00:02:25,646 --> 00:02:28,213 - George, I meant this gentleman. 34 00:02:28,282 --> 00:02:29,681 - Did you want me to get D***k? 35 00:02:29,749 --> 00:02:31,349 - Would you? Oh, I hope he likes it. 36 00:02:31,418 --> 00:02:32,484 - Yeah. Me, too. 37 00:02:33,987 --> 00:02:36,588 - D***k? Could you come out here for a minute? 38 00:02:36,657 --> 00:02:38,056 - Here, let's stand in front of it 39 00:02:38,124 --> 00:02:40,358 so he won't see it when he first comes out. 40 00:02:44,598 --> 00:02:46,064 - Surprise! 41 00:02:47,834 --> 00:02:49,133 - Oh, wow. 42 00:02:51,838 --> 00:02:52,904 - Do you know what it is? 43 00:02:54,107 --> 00:02:55,873 - Most of a bike. 44 00:02:57,344 --> 00:02:59,010 - It's an exercise bike. 45 00:02:59,079 --> 00:03:00,345 I saw it in the store, 46 00:03:00,414 --> 00:03:02,414 and I thought it would be perfect for your study. 47 00:03:02,482 --> 00:03:04,549 You can use it when you take a break from writing. 48 00:03:06,019 --> 00:03:07,285 You don't like it, do you? 49 00:03:07,354 --> 00:03:08,853 - No, no. Sure I do. 50 00:03:08,922 --> 00:03:10,622 It'll be perfect in the study. 51 00:03:10,691 --> 00:03:12,691 Even if I'm not exercising on it, 52 00:03:12,759 --> 00:03:15,460 I'll still get a lot of exercise... 53 00:03:15,529 --> 00:03:17,161 trying to walk around it. 54 00:03:18,732 --> 00:03:20,865 - Hey, whose exercise bike? 55 00:03:20,934 --> 00:03:22,100 - Uh, mine. 56 00:03:23,437 --> 00:03:25,870 - Boy, Marjorie and I had one of these. 57 00:03:25,939 --> 00:03:28,340 We were going to tone up and firm up. 58 00:03:28,408 --> 00:03:30,508 And then, of course, we broke up. 59 00:03:32,546 --> 00:03:34,379 - Get on it. See how it works. 60 00:03:34,448 --> 00:03:36,881 - Yeah, honey. Come on. - Okay. 61 00:03:41,455 --> 00:03:43,622 Boy, oh, boy, that, uh... 62 00:03:48,061 --> 00:03:50,795 it really gets the old blood flowing, doesn't it? 63 00:03:52,132 --> 00:03:53,231 - I-- I don't understand. 64 00:03:53,300 --> 00:03:55,600 Why didn't you just get a whole bike? 65 00:03:55,669 --> 00:03:57,201 - Well, you can only ride a bike 66 00:03:57,271 --> 00:03:58,836 when the weather's nice. 67 00:03:58,905 --> 00:04:00,639 You can ride this 24 hours a day, 68 00:04:00,707 --> 00:04:02,907 365 days a year. 69 00:04:02,976 --> 00:04:04,442 - Isn't that great? 70 00:04:06,680 --> 00:04:11,115 - Ohh. What a great exercise bike. 71 00:04:11,184 --> 00:04:12,584 Yours? - Yeah. 72 00:04:12,653 --> 00:04:14,586 - You'll never use it. - He will, too. 73 00:04:14,655 --> 00:04:15,587 - You bought it, right? 74 00:04:15,656 --> 00:04:17,589 - Ohh! What do you want, Kirk? 75 00:04:17,658 --> 00:04:18,790 - Okay, listen up, everybody. 76 00:04:18,858 --> 00:04:20,458 I have an announcement to make. 77 00:04:20,527 --> 00:04:22,394 I'm starting a singles club. 78 00:04:22,462 --> 00:04:24,396 - Really? - Yeah, right here at the inn. 79 00:04:24,464 --> 00:04:25,563 - What are you talking about? 80 00:04:25,632 --> 00:04:26,831 You're not having a singles club here. 81 00:04:26,900 --> 00:04:28,300 - Why not? 82 00:04:28,368 --> 00:04:29,967 You let the Rotary Club meet here 83 00:04:30,036 --> 00:04:31,503 and the Junior Chamber of Commerce. 84 00:04:31,571 --> 00:04:33,137 - That is true, honey. 85 00:04:33,206 --> 00:04:34,639 - Well, I mean, they're hardly the same thing. 86 00:04:34,708 --> 00:04:35,907 I mean, I know him. 87 00:04:35,975 --> 00:04:38,643 When he says a singles club, he means mud wrestling. 88 00:04:40,246 --> 00:04:42,314 - I think a singles club is a great idea. 89 00:04:42,382 --> 00:04:43,815 It could help all of us. 90 00:04:43,883 --> 00:04:46,751 - Not me. - Oh. Maybe not you, 91 00:04:46,820 --> 00:04:47,985 but what about the rest of us? 92 00:04:48,054 --> 00:04:49,253 I'm single, George is single, 93 00:04:49,323 --> 00:04:52,156 Stephanie is single, Ed's marriage is guano. 94 00:04:53,593 --> 00:04:55,226 - I'd like to meet some new people. 95 00:04:55,295 --> 00:04:56,828 - You know, it's really not a bad thought. 96 00:04:56,896 --> 00:04:59,263 - Yeah. - Kirk, why is it 97 00:04:59,333 --> 00:05:00,565 whenever you come up with an idea, 98 00:05:00,634 --> 00:05:03,201 you always come over here and dump it on me? 99 00:05:03,269 --> 00:05:06,103 - Because you're my best friend. 100 00:05:06,172 --> 00:05:08,306 - I don't want to be your best friend. 101 00:05:08,375 --> 00:05:10,342 - Why are you always so reluctant to help me? 102 00:05:10,410 --> 00:05:13,411 - You know, speaking from personal experience, 103 00:05:13,480 --> 00:05:15,647 it is hard to meet people in this town. 104 00:05:15,716 --> 00:05:18,316 - Yeah. A group like Kirk is talking about 105 00:05:18,385 --> 00:05:20,518 would sure make it easier. - Yeah. 106 00:05:20,587 --> 00:05:22,821 - Well, I guess if you feel that strongly about it, 107 00:05:22,889 --> 00:05:24,456 we can-- we can try it once. 108 00:05:24,524 --> 00:05:25,690 - Great! 109 00:05:25,759 --> 00:05:28,727 - See? It's not so hard to give, is it, D***k? 110 00:05:30,063 --> 00:05:31,529 Okay, we'll have our first meeting 111 00:05:31,598 --> 00:05:33,331 Friday night, 7:00, in the dining room. 112 00:05:33,400 --> 00:05:36,368 - Oh. Friday night? I can't. I have a date. 113 00:05:36,436 --> 00:05:38,269 - I thought you were having trouble getting dates. 114 00:05:38,338 --> 00:05:40,204 - Not in the evenings. 115 00:05:50,316 --> 00:05:51,315 - Where's Kirk? 116 00:05:51,385 --> 00:05:52,584 - Isn't he in with the group? 117 00:05:52,652 --> 00:05:54,051 - No, and the meeting was supposed to start 118 00:05:54,120 --> 00:05:55,754 20 minutes ago. - What are they doing? 119 00:05:55,822 --> 00:05:57,021 - Nothing. They're just standing around 120 00:05:57,090 --> 00:05:59,591 like a bunch of penguins staring at each other. 121 00:05:59,659 --> 00:06:00,759 I'm going to call him. 122 00:06:02,796 --> 00:06:03,828 - Hi, guys. 123 00:06:06,332 --> 00:06:07,532 - Where have you been? 124 00:06:07,601 --> 00:06:09,734 - This is the first meeting of my singles club. 125 00:06:09,803 --> 00:06:11,068 Hey, I'm the host. 126 00:06:11,137 --> 00:06:14,138 This is potentially a very important night for me. 127 00:06:14,207 --> 00:06:16,441 I was gargling. 128 00:06:16,510 --> 00:06:18,142 - Those people have been in there for half an hour. 129 00:06:18,211 --> 00:06:19,644 - Why are you so mad at me? 130 00:06:19,713 --> 00:06:20,912 - Because this evening is turning out 131 00:06:20,980 --> 00:06:22,380 exactly the way I knew it would. 132 00:06:22,449 --> 00:06:23,915 You said it was going to be dignified. 133 00:06:23,983 --> 00:06:25,316 You show up late, 134 00:06:25,385 --> 00:06:28,252 and then you have somebody paint that stupid sign. 135 00:06:28,321 --> 00:06:29,721 - I didn't have anyone make that sign. 136 00:06:29,790 --> 00:06:31,823 I took it out of the window of my car. 137 00:06:35,929 --> 00:06:37,929 - Oh. Hi. I just came out 138 00:06:37,997 --> 00:06:39,898 because some of the singles were wondering 139 00:06:39,966 --> 00:06:42,066 if there's going to be anything to eat or drink. 140 00:06:42,135 --> 00:06:44,669 -...