South.Park.S26E03.1080p.WEB.h264-BAE Subtitles

At 00:00:40,532, Character said: See, Stan?
You gotta choose

2
At 00:00:42,034, Character said: if you wanna be
in Gryffindor or Slytherin.

3
At 00:00:43,802, Character said: Yeah, can I do it?

4
At 00:00:45,704, Character said: Yeah, see, you gotta fight
these fairy guys.

5
At 00:00:47,773, Character said: Randy.

6
At 00:00:50,476, Character said: Randy!

7
At 00:00:51,777, Character said: The powder room
toilet is broken.

8
At 00:00:53,312, Character said: Again!

9
At 00:00:54,513, Character said: Did you jiggle the handle?

10
At 00:00:56,048, Character said: Yes, I jiggled the handle.

11
At 00:00:57,483, Character said: Will you come fix this, please?

12
At 00:00:59,385, Character said: Okay, okay.

13
At 00:01:07,126, Character said: Huh, well, let's see.

14
At 00:01:09,161, Character said: It's gotta be the little
black floaty thingie.

15
At 00:01:12,831, Character said: What'd you do to it?

16
At 00:01:13,966, Character said: I didn't do anything.

17
At 00:01:15,634, Character said: Lemme see if there's
water in the bowl.

18
At 00:01:17,002, Character said: No!
Don't lift the lid.

19
At 00:01:19,037, Character said: Why can't I lift the lid?

20
At 00:01:20,839, Character said: Don't, Randy!
Uh-huh.

21
At 00:01:23,642, Character said: Hey, guys!
Your mom took a s***t

22
At 00:01:25,744, Character said: and doesn't want me to see it.

23
At 00:01:27,212, Character said: Ew!
Gross, Dad!

24
At 00:01:29,214, Character said: Randy!
We need to get a new toilet.

25
At 00:01:32,017, Character said: We can't just get rid
of Ol' Blue, Sharon.

26
At 00:01:34,386, Character said: This is embarrassing.

27
At 00:01:35,921, Character said: It's the powder room toilet,
the one guests use.

28
At 00:01:39,024, Character said: You get a new toilet, Randy,

29
At 00:01:40,559, Character said: or I'm not helping you
sell weed anymore!

30
At 00:01:43,495, Character said: Alright, alright.
Sharon, you win.

31
At 00:01:45,931, Character said: As usual.

32
At 00:01:49,001, Character said: Poor Ol' Blue.

33
At 00:01:58,444, Character said: Can I help you with anything?

34
At 00:02:00,212, Character said: Oh, yeah, just lookin' for a new
toilet to replace Ol' Blue.

35
At 00:02:03,015, Character said: Alright, well, all our toilets
here are standard bowl,

36
At 00:02:05,184, Character said: come with full warranty.

37
At 00:02:06,351, Character said: How much you looking to spend?

38
At 00:02:07,753, Character said: Well I'm not poor.

39
At 00:02:09,121, Character said: I happen to have
my own weed business.

40
At 00:02:11,223, Character said: So that's pretty much
the nicest one you have, right?

41
At 00:02:13,459, Character said: Yeah, that's probably
the top model, you know,

42
At 00:02:15,127, Character said: before you start getting
into the Japanese toilets.

43
At 00:02:18,430, Character said: Japanese toilets?

44
At 00:02:19,798, Character said: Yeah, they're the sort of
the super-high-class

45
At 00:02:21,567, Character said: luxury models with all
the bells and whistles.

46
At 00:02:23,302, Character said: But you probably don't wanna
spend that kind of money.

47
At 00:02:25,871, Character said: I'm not poor.

48
At 00:02:27,606, Character said: Oh, well,
we can show them to you.

49
At 00:02:30,409, Character said: The Japanese toilets
are right over there.

50
At 00:02:38,217, Character said: Hi, Rick.
This gentleman

51
At 00:02:39,551, Character said: would like to see
the Japanese toilets.

52
At 00:02:41,420, Character said: Well, of course, sir.
My name is Rick.

53
At 00:02:43,589, Character said: Let me know if there's
anything you need.

54
At 00:02:47,726, Character said: These toilets are all equipped
with the highest-end features,

55
At 00:02:50,062, Character said: including an automatic
bidet system,

56
At 00:02:51,730, Character said: bluetooth capability,
and seat warmers.

57
At 00:02:54,233, Character said: Seat warmers?
Of course.

58
At 00:02:56,568, Character said: And the toilet senses
when you've come into the room,

59
At 00:02:58,337, Character said: turns on a small light,
plays welcome music,

60
At 00:03:00,472, Character said: and raises the lid for you.

61
At 00:03:02,074, Character said: Can I offer you come
sparkling water or champagne?

62
At 00:03:04,810, Character said: Oh, sure,
I'll take some champagne.

63
At 00:03:07,179, Character said: All the toilet's functions
are operated

64
At 00:03:08,981, Character said: by a touch-button remote
which you mount

65
At 00:03:11,183, Character said: where the toilet-paper roll
used to go.

66
At 00:03:13,352, Character said: So then where do you keep
the toilet paper?

67
At 00:03:15,420, Character said: With a Japanese toilet,
you don't need toilet paper.

68
At 00:03:18,690, Character said: The toilet washes you
completely clean.

69
At 00:03:23,195, Character said: You're mad.

70
At 00:03:24,796, Character said: No, it's true.

71
At 00:03:26,532, Character said: It has warm water and a dryer

72
At 00:03:28,166, Character said: and cleans you eight times
better than toilet paper can.

73
At 00:03:32,871, Character said: Would you like to take one
for a test drive?

74
At 00:03:35,374, Character said: Oh, uh, sure.

75
At 00:03:36,675, Character said: I did have kind of
a big breakfast.

76
At 00:03:38,777, Character said: Right over here.

77
At 00:04:01,900, Character said: Oh.

78
At 00:04:06,171, Character said: Whoa!

79
At 00:04:07,806, Character said: Ooh.
Oh, oh! Oh.

80
At 00:04:09,975, Character said: Ahhh!

81
At 00:04:11,410, Character said: Oh, oh!

82
At 00:04:20,919, Character said: Ohh! Oh.

83
At 00:04:27,559, Character said: Okay, how much?

84
At 00:04:31,563, Character said: Guys, I wanted to talk to you
because I want you all

85
At 00:04:34,933, Character said: to think about how
we're viewed as a family.

86
At 00:04:38,904, Character said: You know, as a prominent
weed dealer, we are successful,

87
At 00:04:41,673, Character said: and we're sort of looked up to
in this town

88
At 00:04:44,276, Character said: because we have nice things
that most families can't afford.

89
At 00:04:48,413, Character said: I mean, Stan, you're playing
"Hogwarts Legacy"

90
At 00:04:50,382, Character said: on PS5, right?

91
At 00:04:52,017, Character said: You're playing
"Hogwarts Legacy" on a PS5.

92
At 00:04:54,086, Character said: Yeah, my... my point is
that most people in town

93
At 00:04:56,555, Character said: don't even have a PS5.

94
At 00:04:58,190, Character said: They still have PS4s,

95
At 00:04:59,791, Character said: and so we're basically
the Kennedys of South Park.

96
At 00:05:04,196, Character said: And the plain fact is
that well-off families

97
At 00:05:07,733, Character said: have nice things,

98
At 00:05:09,134, Character said: and we shouldn't be
ashamed of that.

99
At 00:05:11,203, Character said: Ohp! New toilet's here!

100
At 00:05:15,540, Character said: Hajimemashite.
Japanese Torei des!

101
At 00:05:18,777, Character said: Uh, yes, thank you.
Bring it on in.

102
At 00:05:20,912, Character said: Kyo fun yori! Kro fun yori!

103
At 00:05:23,982, Character said: Kyo fun yori!
Kro fun yori! Kro fun yori!

104
At 00:05:28,987, Character said: That's the new toilet?
How much did it cost?

105
At 00:05:31,757, Character said: Oh, Sharon.
Tennish.

106
At 00:05:34,493, Character said: What's tennish?
Tennish.

107
At 00:05:36,928, Character said: Thousandish.
Ten thousandish.

108
At 00:05:39,297, Character said: You spent $10,000 on a toilet?!

109
At 00:05:42,501, Character said: We don't have
that kind of money, Randy!

110
At 00:05:44,569, Character said: Yeah, we do.

111
At 00:05:45,971, Character said: Shitsurei Shimasu!
Owarimashita.

112
At 00:05:47,839, Character said: Okay, yeah, right here?
Okay.

113
At 00:05:53,278, Character said: Doomo!
Aringanto gozaimashita!

114
At 00:05:55,347, Character said: Aringato gozaimashita!

115
At 00:05:57,115, Character said: K, thanks.

116
At 00:06:03,755, Character said: You are taking that back
to the store.

117
At 00:06:06,291, Character said: Try it, Sharon.

118
At 00:06:07,626, Character said: I don't need to, Randy.
I want...

119
At 00:06:09,094, Character said: Try it, Sharon!

120
At 00:06:21,873, Character said: Oh. Oh.

121
At 00:06:25,043, Character said: Oh! Ohh!

122
At 00:06:27,379, Character said: Ah-ha-ha!

123
At 00:06:28,947, Character said: I wanna try it.

124
At 00:06:29,981, Character said: Shhh!

125
At 00:06:31,116, Character said: Ah-ho-ho!

126
At 00:06:32,617, Character said: Ohh!

127
At 00:06:40,325, Character said: Oh, look, there he goes.

128
At 00:06:41,693, Character said: It's Mr. Big Shot.

129
At 00:06:45,330, Character said: Hey, Richie Rich.
You eating caviar

130
At 00:06:46,998, Character said: for lunch today, Richie Rich?

131
At 00:06:52,704, Character said: Stan, just so you know,
nobody gives a s***t.

132
At 00:06:57,476, Character said: About what?

133
At 00:06:58,977, Character said: Come on, guys!

134
At 00:07:02,981, Character said: Did you know some people
can't even afford to eat?

135
At 00:07:05,417, Character said: How about caring for something
that matters, you bitch?

136
At 00:07:09,654, Character said: What the?

137
At 00:07:11,423, Character said: Hey, Stan, you really
have to be careful.

138
At 00:07:13,992, Character said: Of what?

139
At 00:07:15,660, Character said: Look, it's great that you come
from a wealthy family,

140
At 00:07:17,496, Character said: but people don't like getting
their noses rubbed in it.

141
At 00:07:19,765, Character said: Dude, I haven't
even said anything!

142
At 00:07:22,567, Character said: Well, your dad called
everyone last night

143