The.Decoy.Bride.20111.720p.BluRay.x264-[YTS.**] Subtitles

At 00:00:36,918, Character said: Throngs of people outside still
waiting for the bride to appear.

2
At 00:00:42,085, Character said: She's not in there.
I can feel it.

3
At 00:00:44,127, Character said: Any moment now,
she should be leaving the hotel.

4
At 00:00:59,960, Character said: I overestimated her.
I thought she'd be more elusive.

5
At 00:01:11,295, Character said: -I don't understand what's happening.
-What is going on here?

6
At 00:01:21,170, Character said: I don't think they want us to
know which one the real bride is.

7
At 00:02:14,505, Character said: The streets are full of brides,
the skies are full of brides,

8
At 00:02:17,547, Character said: the press doesn't know which way is up.

9
At 00:02:19,547, Character said: I'm a genius.
Still no sign of Marco Ballani?

10
At 00:02:22,787, Character said: None.

11
At 00:02:23,214, Character said: Our intelligence says he's gone skiing.

12
At 00:02:25,058, Character said: Gone skiing. Now?

13
At 00:02:26,505, Character said: Then we're good.

14
At 00:02:53,965, Character said: Hello?

15
At 00:03:00,715, Character said: You! What the hell are you doing in there?

16
At 00:03:04,049, Character said: I ** the wedding photographer.

17
At 00:03:05,924, Character said: Can I have the tall people at the back?

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At 00:03:07,841, Character said: -OK, buster, fun's over.
-How long have you been in there?

19
At 00:03:11,716, Character said: Oh, my God. This is not soda.

20
At 00:03:15,758, Character said: I'm gonna kill you!

21
At 00:03:29,342, Character said: You are ruining my life!

22
At 00:03:31,602, Character said: I've ruined plenty of lives.

23
At 00:03:34,717, Character said: You're nothing special.

24
At 00:03:41,176, Character said: You abscess!

25
At 00:03:43,009, Character said: When I do get married, you will not
even know what continent I'm on!

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At 00:03:55,926, Character said: Marco Ballani, you golden Roman god!

27
At 00:03:59,509, Character said: I will not be defeated by that disease of a man.

28
At 00:04:03,218, Character said: We're gonna have to disappear completely.

29
At 00:04:07,219, Character said: We can get married in outer space.

30
At 00:04:11,260, Character said: Or the lost underwater kingdom of Atlantis?

31
At 00:04:13,885, Character said: Outer space? I don't think you can yet.

32
At 00:04:15,927, Character said: Is that what your intelligence tells you?

33
At 00:04:19,386, Character said: We're gonna have to go
somewhere crazy remote.

34
At 00:05:24,055, Character said: Hi, Mum.

35
At 00:05:29,389, Character said: Oh, no.

36
At 00:05:32,139, Character said: -What's happened?
-Nothing. I'm fine.

37
At 00:05:39,722, Character said: -I'm fine.
-Well, that's good.
Just so long as you're fine.

38
At 00:05:46,098, Character said: Are you going somewhere?

39
At 00:05:47,764, Character said: I don't suppose you're in
the mood for a wedding?

40
At 00:05:52,181, Character said: There is somebody out there for you,

41
At 00:05:54,223, Character said: somebody sensitive and faithful and kind.

42
At 00:05:57,265, Character said: But you'll never meet him if you're hiding here.

43
At 00:05:59,848, Character said: Good. I don't want to meet him.
He sounds like a twat.

44
At 00:06:03,057, Character said: Anyway, I'm like kryptonite to men.

45
At 00:06:06,474, Character said: Kryptonite dipped in cellulite.

46
At 00:06:10,932, Character said: So, what's new on Hegg? Give me the headlines.

47
At 00:06:15,099, Character said: One of Donald's sheep drowned.

48
At 00:06:17,557, Character said: They had to fish it out with a curtain rail.

49
At 00:06:23,224, Character said: -Hello.
-Mild out, isn't it, Iseabail?

50
At 00:06:26,058, Character said: It's this global warming.

51
At 00:06:28,682, Character said: -Katie's back.
-Sorry, yes. Are we late?

52
At 00:06:33,475, Character said: Too late to marry him.

53
At 00:06:42,267, Character said: Quick!

54
At 00:06:46,975, Character said: Sorry. No.

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At 00:06:52,434, Character said: Hi, Angus.

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At 00:06:57,725, Character said: You're too late, Katie Nic Aodh.
He's mine now!

57
At 00:07:03,059, Character said: There's always the Oban tinker.
He'll be visiting come September.

58
At 00:07:07,310, Character said: And he's keen to marry on account of his leg.

59
At 00:07:10,226, Character said: I'll marry you, Katie.
How old will you be in eight years?

60
At 00:07:14,559, Character said: -40.
-Could have gone to 36.

61
At 00:07:29,102, Character said: -The return of the native.
-Hello, Laird.

62
At 00:07:31,685, Character said: That was quite the entrance, Katie.

63
At 00:07:34,269, Character said: And continuing the theme
of my public humiliation,

64
At 00:07:37,936, Character said: I may need my old job back.

65
At 00:07:40,560, Character said: Oh. What happened to your fancy Edinburgh job

66
At 00:07:42,727, Character said: at the trouser catalogue?

67
At 00:07:44,478, Character said: I ran out of ways to describe pockets.

68
At 00:07:47,769, Character said: If you don't mind me saying, Katie,

69
At 00:07:49,936, Character said: you've always had such a terrible taste in men.

70
At 00:07:52,936, Character said: I know. I've gone man vegan.

71
At 00:07:55,978, Character said: They say after the first six years
you don't miss them any more.

72
At 00:07:59,145, Character said: You've picked the right spot to try it.

73
At 00:08:01,395, Character said: There are no single men left on
Hegg, are there, after today?

74
At 00:08:06,895, Character said: Except for me, of course.

75
At 00:08:12,520, Character said: Perhaps you'll dance with me later on.

76
At 00:08:14,229, Character said: You'll not be forgetting Hegg law, Laird.

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At 00:08:17,520, Character said: You must dance with us all.
Eldest to youngest.

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At 00:08:21,760, Character said: Oh, yes.

79
At 00:08:22,687, Character said: The dance of the dead.

80
At 00:08:24,687, Character said: Which means I should get to
you about 4:30 in the morning.

81
At 00:08:31,313, Character said: So,

82
At 00:08:33,604, Character said: how long are you back for?

83
At 00:08:35,855, Character said: Well, actually, I'm thinking of staying.

84
At 00:08:38,980, Character said: I thought you said nothing ever happened here.

85
At 00:08:43,022, Character said: No. Well, nothing happening
is becoming more appealing.

86
At 00:08:49,398, Character said: So, this is all very grown-up.
You've a wife

87
At 00:08:54,064, Character said: -and a beard.
-Well,

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At 00:08:56,856, Character said: Muireen thinks differently of beards than you.

89
At 00:09:00,231, Character said: And marriage.

90
At 00:09:04,522, Character said: Look, I truly hope you'll be...

91
At 00:09:07,856, Character said: Aye.

92
At 00:09:51,484, Character said: Hegg: An Island History,

93
At 00:09:54,317, Character said: The Definitive Guide.
By Katie Nic Aodh.

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At 00:09:57,108, Character said: 5 pounds a copy.
We split the proceeds.

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At 00:09:59,192, Character said: A guidebook to here? Don't be mad.

96
At 00:10:03,317, Character said: Come see our disused toilet

97
At 00:10:05,567, Character said: that may or may not be haunted
by the ghost of a drowned cow.

98
At 00:10:08,443, Character said: You see?

99
At 00:10:09,318, Character said: We need to channel this raw, creative energy.

100
At 00:10:12,525, Character said: Else you're liable to get restless
and go wandering off again.

101
At 00:10:15,692, Character said: Nobody's going to buy a guidebook to Hegg.

102
At 00:10:17,901, Character said: Unless it's cheaper than our toilet paper.

103
At 00:10:23,402, Character said: A marketing conference? Here?

104
At 00:10:26,776, Character said: -The tide has turned.
-For the marketeers.

105
At 00:10:29,734, Character said: a pound each or a pound 50 with hair.

106
At 00:10:35,526, Character said: They want my castle, just as it is, for a week.

107
At 00:10:39,152, Character said: -Good luck to them.
-This is a beautiful island, Katie.

108
At 00:10:43,236, Character said: In a way...

109
At 00:10:45,027, Character said: New beginnings.
It's like the whale all over again.

110
At 00:10:48,986, Character said: You're not too young to
remember the whale, Laird?

111
At 00:10:52,777, Character said: -No, I remember.
-There'll be money in this lot too.

112
At 00:10:55,236, Character said: No throwing yourself at the men visitors, Katie.

113
At 00:10:58,361, Character said: We don't want them thinking this is
the Orkneys where anything goes.

114
At 00:11:03,028, Character said: Now, Katie, chop chop.
Chapter One,

115
At 00:11:04,861, Character said: in which a young woman and her laird

116
At 00:11:07,694, Character said: rescue their island from certain doom by writing

117
At 00:11:10,653, Character said: a brilliant guidebook.

118
At 00:11:22,029, Character said: The island of Hegg lies
half-drowned and wind-battered,

119
At 00:11:25,446, Character said: the furthermost drop of the outermost spray

120
At 00:11:28,279, Character said: of the curling wave of the Outer Hebrides.

121
At 00:11:30,779, Character said: It has a population of 75,

122
At 00:11:33,321, Character said: a majority of whom are probably about...

123
At 00:11:36,529, Character said: 75. Or even older.

124
At 00:11:42,488, Character said: Though Hegg no doubt has a certain charm,

125
At 00:11:44,946, Character said: it has never been a popular
stop on the tourist trail.

126
At 00:11:47,905, Character said: Even the Vikings never showed
the slightest interest in us.

127
At 00:11:52,072, Character said: But the islanders remain a
hardy and resourceful people.

128
At 00:11:56,780, Character said: All those under 50 are now married, except one.

129
At 00:12:02,281, Character said: The island has one B&B

130
At 00:12:04,239, Character said: which offers the traditional
Scottish breakfast of haggis,

131
At 00:12:08,197, Character said: sausage, chips and beans,
or if you're feeling more metropolitan,

132
At 00:12:11,655, Character said: you can have the continental breakfast,

133
At 00:12:13,989, Character said: a bread roll, two Weetabix and a Snickers bar.

134
At 00:12:17,948, Character said: Have we g***t any Michelin stars I can put up?

135
At 00:12:20,948, Character said: -Are you not cold? Can I get you a coat?
-I'll be fine.

136
At 00:12:23,948, Character said: -As always.
-You think?
-I'll be dying either...