The Bernie Mac Show Marathon Mac Aac2 0 H 264-squalor S05E03 Subtitles

At 00:00:02,803, Character said: (theme music playing)

2
At 00:00:17,584, Character said: Hey, Nessa,

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At 00:00:18,752, Character said: what's your sculpture supplies

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At 00:00:20,212, Character said: doing in the trash?

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At 00:00:21,221, Character said: I was done with them.

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At 00:00:22,964, Character said: What you mean, you done?

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At 00:00:24,758, Character said: I signed you up
for ten classes.

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At 00:00:26,885, Character said: What you talking about,
you're done?

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At 00:00:28,345, Character said: It was just too messy.

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At 00:00:30,388, Character said: I mean, the clay
kept getting hard

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At 00:00:31,848, Character said: under my fingernails.

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At 00:00:32,950, Character said: BERNIE: Nessa, of course

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At 00:00:34,101, Character said: it's going to be messy,

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At 00:00:35,435, Character said: it's clay.

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At 00:00:36,579, Character said: You g***t another word
for clay? Dirt.

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At 00:00:39,606, Character said: JORDAN: If she doesn't
want them, I'll take them.

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At 00:00:42,409, Character said: There. Jordan's using the clay

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At 00:00:44,319, Character said: and everyone's happy.

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At 00:00:45,746, Character said: No, everyone's not happy.

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At 00:00:47,139, Character said: I'm still out of the money

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At 00:00:48,990, Character said: for the ten classes
I paid for,

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At 00:00:50,709, Character said: that you begged me to take.

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At 00:00:53,253, Character said: Baby Girl, what's wrong
with your omelet?

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At 00:00:55,089, Character said: I don't want anymore.

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At 00:00:57,058, Character said: That's it. From here on in,

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At 00:00:58,416, Character said: don't you all ask me
for anything.

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At 00:01:00,260, Character said: I'm done. That's it.

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At 00:01:02,212, Character said: You all a bunch of quitters.

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At 00:01:04,607, Character said: Quitters!

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At 00:01:06,383, Character said: It's like a epidemic, America.

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At 00:01:08,611, Character said: Just look in my closets.

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At 00:01:10,145, Character said: They're filled with things
them kids had to have.

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At 00:01:12,889, Character said: Needed. Couldn't live without.

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At 00:01:15,526, Character said: Nessa ice skates.

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At 00:01:16,935, Character said: Baby Girl's
Change-My-Diaper Doll.

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At 00:01:19,104, Character said: Jordan, banjo.

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At 00:01:20,981, Character said: Ballet class. Piano lessons.

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At 00:01:23,450, Character said: These kids don't stick
to nothing,

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At 00:01:25,986, Character said: and look at this, America.

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At 00:01:27,571, Character said: Surfboard.

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At 00:01:29,489, Character said: What...

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At 00:01:30,657, Character said: black boy you know surf?

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At 00:01:33,368, Character said: Huh?

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At 00:01:35,495, Character said: Bulldog.

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At 00:01:36,922, Character said: I missed you, man.

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At 00:01:38,081, Character said: How was your vacation?

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At 00:01:39,058, Character said: Actually, uh,
Big Pop, I lied.

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At 00:01:40,542, Character said: I wasn't really
on vacation.

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At 00:01:42,377, Character said: I, uh, I went
someplace spiritual

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At 00:01:44,004, Character said: to do some
soul-searching.

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At 00:01:45,297, Character said: Oh, some pilgrimage, huh?

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At 00:01:46,798, Character said: Where'd you go?
South Jersey.

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At 00:01:48,425, Character said: I stayed
with my college girlfriend.

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At 00:01:49,610, Character said: You know,
she was real hippy-dippy.

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At 00:01:51,261, Character said: You know,
she smoked a lot of pot

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At 00:01:52,345, Character said: and she smelled
like patchouli.

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At 00:01:54,940, Character said: You telling me
you went to Jersey,

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At 00:01:56,308, Character said: all the way to Jersey
for a booty call?

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At 00:01:57,851, Character said: Actually, no.
She was my crisis counselor

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At 00:01:59,769, Character said: 'cause I needed her help.

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At 00:02:01,872, Character said: Crisis?

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At 00:02:03,523, Character said: Jer, what the hell is going on?

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At 00:02:05,400, Character said: So they, you know,
they just--they thought

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At 00:02:07,027, Character said: they found a polyp in my, um...

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At 00:02:09,529, Character said: Oh, no.

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At 00:02:11,123, Character said: In my colon.

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At 00:02:13,092, Character said: So, you know, I thought,

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At 00:02:14,268, Character said: I just thought I had
the Big "C."

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At 00:02:15,386, Character said: Yo, but B-B-B,
this is the thing.

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At 00:02:17,546, Character said: The thing is
is that I was like,

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At 00:02:18,955, Character said: "Hello?" Epiphany.

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At 00:02:20,457, Character said: You know? It was like
God was sending me a message.

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At 00:02:22,518, Character said: You know, he was saying,
"Yo. JB, dawg,

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At 00:02:24,878, Character said: it's time to get down.

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At 00:02:26,004, Character said: It's time to get-get,
get on down

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At 00:02:27,047, Character said: and flip the script on life."

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At 00:02:28,515, Character said: I can dig it.

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At 00:02:30,350, Character said: I'm paraphrasing.
But I'm--

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At 00:02:31,618, Character said: I guess what
I'm trying to say, B,

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At 00:02:32,786, Character said: is that there's g***t
to be more to life

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At 00:02:34,655, Character said: than squeezing 50 grand
out of the studio. You know?

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At 00:02:37,432, Character said: That's...
I want to start giving back

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At 00:02:39,476, Character said: to society, to humanity.

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At 00:02:41,561, Character said: Maybe you need
to get more involved

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At 00:02:42,979, Character said: in that environmental stuff.

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At 00:02:44,564, Character said: Get yourself an electric car.

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At 00:02:46,441, Character said: Oh, hell, no.
Hell, no.

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At 00:02:47,618, Character said: I still have three years
on my Hummer,

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At 00:02:48,860, Character said: so that's completely
out of the question,

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At 00:02:50,379, Character said: but, you know, I figure,

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At 00:02:52,113, Character said: you know, I'll know it
when I find it.

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At 00:02:54,166, Character said: Well, when you do,
you let me know.

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At 00:02:56,576, Character said: I'll be right
there for you.

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At 00:02:59,246, Character said: Yes, ma'**, I know I paid

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At 00:03:00,747, Character said: for ten classes in full,

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At 00:03:02,582, Character said: but I have a young niece
who have a case of the quits.

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At 00:03:04,960, Character said: WOMAN (over phone):
I understand.
So is there any way

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At 00:03:06,920, Character said: I can get a refund?

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At 00:03:08,088, Character said: Or at least transfer the money

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At 00:03:09,923, Character said: to a different class,

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At 00:03:10,924, Character said: more of an adult class?

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At 00:03:12,092, Character said: Like wine-tasting?

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At 00:03:13,969, Character said: Cigar appreciation?

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At 00:03:15,929, Character said: And what is a lanyard?

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At 00:03:17,305, Character said: WOMAN: The (indistinct)

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At 00:03:18,565, Character said: Oh, I see.

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At 00:03:20,934, Character said: You want to make a keychain?

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At 00:03:22,194, Character said: Mm-mm.

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At 00:03:23,395, Character said: Of course you don't. Quitter.

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At 00:03:26,106, Character said: Well, thank you for your time.

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At 00:03:27,208, Character said: WOMAN (over phone): Good day!
Bye-bye.

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At 00:03:29,359, Character said: Well, as you can see, I tried,

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At 00:03:31,578, Character said: and, uh, it g***t to come out
of your allowance.

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At 00:03:35,156, Character said: My allowance?
That's right.

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At 00:03:36,508, Character said: You didn't say anything
about that,

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At 00:03:38,326, Character said: and you can't just make up rules
as you go along.

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At 00:03:40,996, Character said: Sure I can, Nessa,

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At 00:03:42,172, Character said: and you know
when I changed it?

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At 00:03:43,957, Character said: As we went along.

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At 00:03:47,853, Character said: Mmm.
WANDA: We need to talk
about your nephew.

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At 00:03:50,555, Character said: Oh, my nephew?
What I g***t to punish him for?

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At 00:03:53,258, Character said: I just g***t off the phone
with Drew's mother.

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At 00:03:55,260, Character said: Uh-huh.
Did you give Jordan clay?

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At 00:03:59,973, Character said: Doggone Nessa.

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At 00:04:02,350, Character said: What happened?

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At 00:04:03,577, Character said: Well, apparently
he's making body parts.

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At 00:04:07,373, Character said: Male body parts.

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At 00:04:10,834, Character said: Little sissy.

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At 00:04:13,528, Character said: I knew it was just
a matter of time.

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At 00:04:15,155, Character said: I knew it was. I told you.

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At 00:04:16,489, Character said: You're the one
that gave him the clay.

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At 00:04:19,451, Character said: Yeah, your Aunt Wanda told me

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At 00:04:20,827, Character said: what you been doing.

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At 00:04:22,137, Character said: If I see anything
made of clay

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At 00:04:24,247, Character said: that I don't like,

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At 00:04:25,340, Character said: I'm gonna mold your head,
you get me?

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At 00:04:26,708, Character said: So I can't make
any more rockets?

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At 00:04:28,418, Character said: I better not see it.
I'm gonna knock

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At 00:04:30,170, Character said: the plaque off your teeth.

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At 00:04:31,713, Character said: BULLDOG: No way, Oliver.
Come on, please.

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At 00:04:33,506, Character said: $5,000 is an insult.

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At 00:04:35,675, Character said: (chuckles) Okay.

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At 00:04:37,093, Character said: Yeah, $20,000's great.

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At 00:04:38,303, Character said: Ollie, 20--thank you.

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At 00:04:39,354, Character said: $20,000's great.
Thank you.

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At 00:04:40,847, Character said: Okay. Bye.

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At 00:04:41,982, Character said: Yes. I just raised 20 Gs
for Seeds of Peace.

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At 00:04:45,185, Character said: Well, what's...