The.Absent.Minded.Professor.1961.720p.BluRay.x264-[YTS.AG].en Subtitles
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00:00:06,836 --> 00:00:09,Energy takes on many forms.
00:00:09,305 --> 00:00:11,Example. What do we know
of acoustical energy?
00:00:11,975 --> 00:00:15,It was discovered by a famous
scientist, right? Wrong.
00:00:15,612 --> 00:00:17,We must give credit
to an Italian
00:00:17,447 --> 00:00:20,who one night was singing an
aria in a Milano pizza parlor.
00:00:21,017 --> 00:00:22,You know the story.
00:00:22,152 --> 00:00:25,How he hit a high note and the
sound waves shattered a glass
00:00:25,388 --> 00:00:27,on the other side of the room?
00:00:27,390 --> 00:00:30,Watch me, and I will show you
acoustical energy at work.
00:00:33,363 --> 00:00:36,[Plays note]
00:00:36,199 --> 00:00:39,[Plays higher note]
00:00:39,402 --> 00:00:42,[Plays higher note]
00:00:42,772 --> 00:00:46,[Plays higher note]
00:00:46,709 --> 00:00:51,[Plays higher note]
00:00:53,000 --> 00:00:59,AmericasCardroom.com brings poker back
Million Dollar Sunday Tournament every Sunday
00:02:21,070 --> 00:02:26,Now, your next assignment
will be...
00:02:29,145 --> 00:02:30,Oh, I forgot.
00:02:30,947 --> 00:02:32,There'll be no assignment.
00:02:32,482 --> 00:02:33,See you next week.
00:02:51,267 --> 00:02:52,Here we are.
00:02:52,435 --> 00:02:54,The beginning of the end.
00:02:54,103 --> 00:02:55,Point of no return.
00:02:55,638 --> 00:02:56,The last mile.
00:02:56,706 --> 00:02:58,Now, Shelby.
00:02:58,675 --> 00:03:00,All right.
00:03:02,578 --> 00:03:05,"Of all sad words
of tongue and pen,
00:03:05,381 --> 00:03:08,the saddest are these.
"It might have been."
00:03:08,184 --> 00:03:10,Shelby, you promised.
Now stop.
00:03:10,620 --> 00:03:12,Did I promise to
stop loving you?
00:03:12,388 --> 00:03:14,Open the door and let me out.
00:03:14,991 --> 00:03:17,Suppose he doesn't
show up this time.
00:03:17,126 --> 00:03:19,Oh, Reverend,
how nice to see you.
00:03:19,262 --> 00:03:21,You must be getting
tired of my wedding.
00:03:21,831 --> 00:03:24,Third time's the charm,
they say.
00:03:24,400 --> 00:03:26,But I ** glad that this time
00:03:26,436 --> 00:03:28,you brought the bridegroom
with you.
00:03:28,504 --> 00:03:30,At last we meet,
Professor Brainard.
00:03:30,773 --> 00:03:34,No, this is Professor Ashton.
He's Romance Languages.
00:03:34,077 --> 00:03:36,Professor Brainard
is Physical Chemistry.
00:03:36,612 --> 00:03:39,Oh, dear me, I seem
to have made a mistake.
00:03:39,949 --> 00:03:43,Not you, sir.
It's Miss Carlisle's mistake.
00:03:43,152 --> 00:03:46,I've just been trying to
talk her out of this blunder.
00:03:46,289 --> 00:03:48,Shelby, you are speaking
of the man I love.
00:03:48,791 --> 00:03:51,Love, darling, is a bouquet
of fragrant hyacinths.
00:03:51,661 --> 00:03:53,Not a beaker of hydrogen.
** I right, sir?
00:03:54,063 --> 00:03:58,I merely perform the service.
I don't take sides.
00:03:58,401 --> 00:03:59,WOMAN:
Betsy!
00:03:59,402 --> 00:04:01,Well, well,
here comes the bride.
00:04:01,871 --> 00:04:03,- Reverend.
- Good evening, sir.
00:04:03,706 --> 00:04:06,Professor Ashton
from Rutland University.
00:04:06,275 --> 00:04:08,Aren't you on the wrong campus?
00:04:08,311 --> 00:04:10,Miss Carlisle invited me.
00:04:10,480 --> 00:04:11,Yes, yes, I remember.
00:04:12,048 --> 00:04:15,There was talk that you were
a contender for Betsy's hand.
00:04:15,418 --> 00:04:17,Rutland can't win them all.
00:04:17,353 --> 00:04:20,Oh, it was so sweet of you
to go to all this trouble.
00:04:20,523 --> 00:04:22,And for the third time, too.
00:04:22,191 --> 00:04:24,Well, you know,
third time's the charm.
00:04:24,460 --> 00:04:26,That's exactly what I just said.
00:04:26,496 --> 00:04:29,I'm sick of having
a spinster for a secretary.
00:04:29,532 --> 00:04:32,I better change.
The guests will be coming soon.
00:04:32,301 --> 00:04:34,The bridegroom, too, I hope.
00:04:34,437 --> 00:04:36,I've alerted his housekeeper.
00:04:36,439 --> 00:04:38,She'll see that he gets here.
00:04:38,274 --> 00:04:40,[Humming Wagner's
"Bridal Chorus"]
00:04:43,980 --> 00:04:49,# The ring is in
your right-side pocket #
00:04:53,723 --> 00:04:54,Professor!
00:04:55,024 --> 00:04:57,Professor Brainard!
00:04:58,628 --> 00:05:00,[Humming Wagner's
"Bridal Chorus"]
00:05:05,668 --> 00:05:10,# Square root of "E" minus "C,"
alpha "G" #
00:05:14,210 --> 00:05:15,[Fluctuating tone]
00:05:17,346 --> 00:05:18,No.
00:05:19,048 --> 00:05:21,No, don't stop.
00:05:21,083 --> 00:05:23,Don't stop.
Keep going.
00:05:23,219 --> 00:05:24,Keep going.
00:05:25,021 --> 00:05:26,Please don't stop.
00:05:38,468 --> 00:05:39,Oh, not again.
00:05:39,769 --> 00:05:40,Professor?
00:05:40,536 --> 00:05:42,# Bum bum-bum-bum #
00:05:42,505 --> 00:05:44,Time for you to get dressed.
00:05:44,173 --> 00:05:47,Just five more minutes,
Mrs. Chatsworth.
00:05:47,376 --> 00:05:50,Professor, well, heavens,
what are you doing?
00:05:50,146 --> 00:05:53,I'm trying to solve
the secrets of the universe.
00:05:53,115 --> 00:05:55,And failing.
Failing miserably.
00:05:55,451 --> 00:05:57,You're stopping.
Do you know what time it is?
00:05:57,887 --> 00:05:59,You've been working
all afternoon.
00:06:00,022 --> 00:06:03,Mrs. Chatsworth, I've been
working for three months.
00:06:03,125 --> 00:06:04,Pardon me.
00:06:04,260 --> 00:06:06,I've been working on
something very important.
00:06:06,929 --> 00:06:10,More important, I suppose,
than getting married?
00:06:12,668 --> 00:06:16,Oh! Mrs. Chatsworth, I don't
know what I'd do without you.
00:06:16,572 --> 00:06:18,Oh, you're getting
a wonderful girl.
00:06:18,641 --> 00:06:20,If you ask me,
she's too good for you.
00:06:20,776 --> 00:06:23,Thanks, Mrs. Chatsworth.
I love you, too.
00:06:23,779 --> 00:06:25,Don't worry about a thing.
00:06:25,248 --> 00:06:27,I'll be in
in the morning to feed the dog.
00:06:27,984 --> 00:06:31,- What's the matter with me?
- Is anything wrong?
00:06:31,521 --> 00:06:34,What a lunkhead. Instead
of minus, it should be plus.
00:06:34,590 --> 00:06:38,So, the molecular
configuration of "A"...
00:06:43,533 --> 00:06:45,...is almost the same
as that of "B."
00:06:45,768 --> 00:06:47,Therefore, if I don't
worry about "A"
00:06:47,904 --> 00:06:49,throwing off free hydrogen,
00:06:49,805 --> 00:06:53,it could stand
a few degrees more centigrade.
00:06:53,476 --> 00:06:57,Remember, I promised that sweet
girl I'd have you there on time.
00:06:57,480 --> 00:06:58,Yes, Mrs. Chatsworth.
00:06:58,714 --> 00:07:01,And, Professor,
may I say happy honeymoon?
00:07:01,851 --> 00:07:04,You certainly may,
Mrs. Chatsworth.
00:07:04,120 --> 00:07:05,And the same to you.
00:07:07,323 --> 00:07:10,Miscalculation has been staring
me in the face for weeks.
00:07:10,626 --> 00:07:12,Can't see the forest
for the trees.
00:07:12,595 --> 00:07:14,Right, Charlie?
00:07:19,402 --> 00:07:23,All right, Charlie.
Cross your fingers.
00:07:36,619 --> 00:07:39,Now. Good.
00:07:39,188 --> 00:07:40,Good.
00:07:40,823 --> 00:07:42,Very good.
00:07:42,558 --> 00:07:45,182. That's good.
00:07:46,462 --> 00:07:47,Yes.
00:07:50,366 --> 00:07:51,Yes.
00:08:14,056 --> 00:08:16,Now we're cooking, Charlie!
00:08:20,196 --> 00:08:22,We may be in business yet!
00:08:26,369 --> 00:08:28,[Humming Wagner's
"Bridal Chorus"]
00:08:53,863 --> 00:08:55,[Ringing]
00:09:00,803 --> 00:09:03,WOMAN: It's just awful.
Poor darling.
00:09:03,406 --> 00:09:04,What ails the man?
00:09:05,074 --> 00:09:07,Missing his own wedding
three times.
00:09:07,610 --> 00:09:09,He might still show up.
00:09:09,178 --> 00:09:12,You know the old saying.
Third time's the charm.
00:09:12,448 --> 00:09:15,I say three strikes
and you're out!
00:09:15,651 --> 00:09:17,Thank you all for coming.
00:09:17,420 --> 00:09:19,I'll return your presents.
00:09:19,221 --> 00:09:21,I hope you can get
your money back.
00:09:21,490 --> 00:09:22,I'm sorry.
00:09:22,558 --> 00:09:24,After all the trouble
you've gone to.
00:09:24,927 --> 00:09:28,I'll be at the office at
the usual time in the morning.
00:09:28,130 --> 00:09:29,I want to go on as if
nothing has happened.
00:09:30,599 --> 00:09:33,Shelby, I don't seem
to have an escort.
00:09:33,602 --> 00:09:35,Would you mind waiting?
00:09:35,137 --> 00:09:37,I'm yours to command.
00:09:51,320 --> 00:09:53,Oh, Betsy.
140...
00:00:09,305 --> 00:00:11,Example. What do we know
of acoustical energy?
00:00:11,975 --> 00:00:15,It was discovered by a famous
scientist, right? Wrong.
00:00:15,612 --> 00:00:17,We must give credit
to an Italian
00:00:17,447 --> 00:00:20,who one night was singing an
aria in a Milano pizza parlor.
00:00:21,017 --> 00:00:22,You know the story.
00:00:22,152 --> 00:00:25,How he hit a high note and the
sound waves shattered a glass
00:00:25,388 --> 00:00:27,on the other side of the room?
00:00:27,390 --> 00:00:30,Watch me, and I will show you
acoustical energy at work.
00:00:33,363 --> 00:00:36,[Plays note]
00:00:36,199 --> 00:00:39,[Plays higher note]
00:00:39,402 --> 00:00:42,[Plays higher note]
00:00:42,772 --> 00:00:46,[Plays higher note]
00:00:46,709 --> 00:00:51,[Plays higher note]
00:00:53,000 --> 00:00:59,AmericasCardroom.com brings poker back
Million Dollar Sunday Tournament every Sunday
00:02:21,070 --> 00:02:26,Now, your next assignment
will be...
00:02:29,145 --> 00:02:30,Oh, I forgot.
00:02:30,947 --> 00:02:32,There'll be no assignment.
00:02:32,482 --> 00:02:33,See you next week.
00:02:51,267 --> 00:02:52,Here we are.
00:02:52,435 --> 00:02:54,The beginning of the end.
00:02:54,103 --> 00:02:55,Point of no return.
00:02:55,638 --> 00:02:56,The last mile.
00:02:56,706 --> 00:02:58,Now, Shelby.
00:02:58,675 --> 00:03:00,All right.
00:03:02,578 --> 00:03:05,"Of all sad words
of tongue and pen,
00:03:05,381 --> 00:03:08,the saddest are these.
"It might have been."
00:03:08,184 --> 00:03:10,Shelby, you promised.
Now stop.
00:03:10,620 --> 00:03:12,Did I promise to
stop loving you?
00:03:12,388 --> 00:03:14,Open the door and let me out.
00:03:14,991 --> 00:03:17,Suppose he doesn't
show up this time.
00:03:17,126 --> 00:03:19,Oh, Reverend,
how nice to see you.
00:03:19,262 --> 00:03:21,You must be getting
tired of my wedding.
00:03:21,831 --> 00:03:24,Third time's the charm,
they say.
00:03:24,400 --> 00:03:26,But I ** glad that this time
00:03:26,436 --> 00:03:28,you brought the bridegroom
with you.
00:03:28,504 --> 00:03:30,At last we meet,
Professor Brainard.
00:03:30,773 --> 00:03:34,No, this is Professor Ashton.
He's Romance Languages.
00:03:34,077 --> 00:03:36,Professor Brainard
is Physical Chemistry.
00:03:36,612 --> 00:03:39,Oh, dear me, I seem
to have made a mistake.
00:03:39,949 --> 00:03:43,Not you, sir.
It's Miss Carlisle's mistake.
00:03:43,152 --> 00:03:46,I've just been trying to
talk her out of this blunder.
00:03:46,289 --> 00:03:48,Shelby, you are speaking
of the man I love.
00:03:48,791 --> 00:03:51,Love, darling, is a bouquet
of fragrant hyacinths.
00:03:51,661 --> 00:03:53,Not a beaker of hydrogen.
** I right, sir?
00:03:54,063 --> 00:03:58,I merely perform the service.
I don't take sides.
00:03:58,401 --> 00:03:59,WOMAN:
Betsy!
00:03:59,402 --> 00:04:01,Well, well,
here comes the bride.
00:04:01,871 --> 00:04:03,- Reverend.
- Good evening, sir.
00:04:03,706 --> 00:04:06,Professor Ashton
from Rutland University.
00:04:06,275 --> 00:04:08,Aren't you on the wrong campus?
00:04:08,311 --> 00:04:10,Miss Carlisle invited me.
00:04:10,480 --> 00:04:11,Yes, yes, I remember.
00:04:12,048 --> 00:04:15,There was talk that you were
a contender for Betsy's hand.
00:04:15,418 --> 00:04:17,Rutland can't win them all.
00:04:17,353 --> 00:04:20,Oh, it was so sweet of you
to go to all this trouble.
00:04:20,523 --> 00:04:22,And for the third time, too.
00:04:22,191 --> 00:04:24,Well, you know,
third time's the charm.
00:04:24,460 --> 00:04:26,That's exactly what I just said.
00:04:26,496 --> 00:04:29,I'm sick of having
a spinster for a secretary.
00:04:29,532 --> 00:04:32,I better change.
The guests will be coming soon.
00:04:32,301 --> 00:04:34,The bridegroom, too, I hope.
00:04:34,437 --> 00:04:36,I've alerted his housekeeper.
00:04:36,439 --> 00:04:38,She'll see that he gets here.
00:04:38,274 --> 00:04:40,[Humming Wagner's
"Bridal Chorus"]
00:04:43,980 --> 00:04:49,# The ring is in
your right-side pocket #
00:04:53,723 --> 00:04:54,Professor!
00:04:55,024 --> 00:04:57,Professor Brainard!
00:04:58,628 --> 00:05:00,[Humming Wagner's
"Bridal Chorus"]
00:05:05,668 --> 00:05:10,# Square root of "E" minus "C,"
alpha "G" #
00:05:14,210 --> 00:05:15,[Fluctuating tone]
00:05:17,346 --> 00:05:18,No.
00:05:19,048 --> 00:05:21,No, don't stop.
00:05:21,083 --> 00:05:23,Don't stop.
Keep going.
00:05:23,219 --> 00:05:24,Keep going.
00:05:25,021 --> 00:05:26,Please don't stop.
00:05:38,468 --> 00:05:39,Oh, not again.
00:05:39,769 --> 00:05:40,Professor?
00:05:40,536 --> 00:05:42,# Bum bum-bum-bum #
00:05:42,505 --> 00:05:44,Time for you to get dressed.
00:05:44,173 --> 00:05:47,Just five more minutes,
Mrs. Chatsworth.
00:05:47,376 --> 00:05:50,Professor, well, heavens,
what are you doing?
00:05:50,146 --> 00:05:53,I'm trying to solve
the secrets of the universe.
00:05:53,115 --> 00:05:55,And failing.
Failing miserably.
00:05:55,451 --> 00:05:57,You're stopping.
Do you know what time it is?
00:05:57,887 --> 00:05:59,You've been working
all afternoon.
00:06:00,022 --> 00:06:03,Mrs. Chatsworth, I've been
working for three months.
00:06:03,125 --> 00:06:04,Pardon me.
00:06:04,260 --> 00:06:06,I've been working on
something very important.
00:06:06,929 --> 00:06:10,More important, I suppose,
than getting married?
00:06:12,668 --> 00:06:16,Oh! Mrs. Chatsworth, I don't
know what I'd do without you.
00:06:16,572 --> 00:06:18,Oh, you're getting
a wonderful girl.
00:06:18,641 --> 00:06:20,If you ask me,
she's too good for you.
00:06:20,776 --> 00:06:23,Thanks, Mrs. Chatsworth.
I love you, too.
00:06:23,779 --> 00:06:25,Don't worry about a thing.
00:06:25,248 --> 00:06:27,I'll be in
in the morning to feed the dog.
00:06:27,984 --> 00:06:31,- What's the matter with me?
- Is anything wrong?
00:06:31,521 --> 00:06:34,What a lunkhead. Instead
of minus, it should be plus.
00:06:34,590 --> 00:06:38,So, the molecular
configuration of "A"...
00:06:43,533 --> 00:06:45,...is almost the same
as that of "B."
00:06:45,768 --> 00:06:47,Therefore, if I don't
worry about "A"
00:06:47,904 --> 00:06:49,throwing off free hydrogen,
00:06:49,805 --> 00:06:53,it could stand
a few degrees more centigrade.
00:06:53,476 --> 00:06:57,Remember, I promised that sweet
girl I'd have you there on time.
00:06:57,480 --> 00:06:58,Yes, Mrs. Chatsworth.
00:06:58,714 --> 00:07:01,And, Professor,
may I say happy honeymoon?
00:07:01,851 --> 00:07:04,You certainly may,
Mrs. Chatsworth.
00:07:04,120 --> 00:07:05,And the same to you.
00:07:07,323 --> 00:07:10,Miscalculation has been staring
me in the face for weeks.
00:07:10,626 --> 00:07:12,Can't see the forest
for the trees.
00:07:12,595 --> 00:07:14,Right, Charlie?
00:07:19,402 --> 00:07:23,All right, Charlie.
Cross your fingers.
00:07:36,619 --> 00:07:39,Now. Good.
00:07:39,188 --> 00:07:40,Good.
00:07:40,823 --> 00:07:42,Very good.
00:07:42,558 --> 00:07:45,182. That's good.
00:07:46,462 --> 00:07:47,Yes.
00:07:50,366 --> 00:07:51,Yes.
00:08:14,056 --> 00:08:16,Now we're cooking, Charlie!
00:08:20,196 --> 00:08:22,We may be in business yet!
00:08:26,369 --> 00:08:28,[Humming Wagner's
"Bridal Chorus"]
00:08:53,863 --> 00:08:55,[Ringing]
00:09:00,803 --> 00:09:03,WOMAN: It's just awful.
Poor darling.
00:09:03,406 --> 00:09:04,What ails the man?
00:09:05,074 --> 00:09:07,Missing his own wedding
three times.
00:09:07,610 --> 00:09:09,He might still show up.
00:09:09,178 --> 00:09:12,You know the old saying.
Third time's the charm.
00:09:12,448 --> 00:09:15,I say three strikes
and you're out!
00:09:15,651 --> 00:09:17,Thank you all for coming.
00:09:17,420 --> 00:09:19,I'll return your presents.
00:09:19,221 --> 00:09:21,I hope you can get
your money back.
00:09:21,490 --> 00:09:22,I'm sorry.
00:09:22,558 --> 00:09:24,After all the trouble
you've gone to.
00:09:24,927 --> 00:09:28,I'll be at the office at
the usual time in the morning.
00:09:28,130 --> 00:09:29,I want to go on as if
nothing has happened.
00:09:30,599 --> 00:09:33,Shelby, I don't seem
to have an escort.
00:09:33,602 --> 00:09:35,Would you mind waiting?
00:09:35,137 --> 00:09:37,I'm yours to command.
00:09:51,320 --> 00:09:53,Oh, Betsy.
140...
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