Last of the Summer Wine s17e08 Beware Of The Elbow.eng Subtitles

At 00:00:47,600, Character said: What are you doing
sitting on my steps?

2
At 00:00:50,980, Character said: I'm thinking.

3
At 00:00:53,400, Character said: Thinking? About what?

4
At 00:00:55,700, Character said: About things.

5
At 00:00:58,460, Character said: About what things?

6
At 00:01:01,660, Character said: Well, there's thee for a start.

7
At 00:01:04,140, Character said: Coming here sitting on my steps
thinking about me! Go and sit on your own steps.

8
At 00:01:10,880, Character said: It don't work down there.
Why are my steps any different?

9
At 00:01:15,480, Character said: Because they're your steps.
They're full of Eastern promise.

10
At 00:01:20,200, Character said: A brush is the only promise
you'll get round here!

11
At 00:01:24,500, Character said: Look, it's not easy.
With my trousers, I'm not built for sitting on stone steps.

12
At 00:01:30,900, Character said: Then why do you do it?

13
At 00:01:33,100, Character said: Because when I'm sitting here,

14
At 00:01:36,900, Character said: I can hear voices.

15
At 00:01:52,320, Character said: Good morning.
Would you like to be saved?

16
At 00:01:55,700, Character said: What I'd like first is something
to happen worth saving me from!

17
At 00:02:18,640, Character said: Morning, sir.
Would you like to be saved?

18
At 00:02:23,440, Character said: Keep your voice down.
It's all a lie.

19
At 00:02:26,980, Character said: Who told you anyway?
I was just teaching the lady the rudiments of botany.

20
At 00:02:37,000, Character said: How do you mean - if you sit
on my steps you can hear voices?

21
At 00:02:41,500, Character said: I don't know, it's very mysterious.

22
At 00:02:44,220, Character said: Whenever I sit on YOUR steps,

23
At 00:02:47,520, Character said: I hear voices.

24
At 00:02:50,140, Character said: What kind of voices?

25
At 00:02:52,580, Character said: Oh, come and listen for thaself.

26
At 00:02:55,240, Character said: You mean anyone can hear 'em?
I don't see why not.

27
At 00:02:59,820, Character said: Here, that stone's still warm.

28
At 00:03:08,180, Character said: I can't hear anything! Hang on,
tha's hardly been here a minute.

29
At 00:03:13,100, Character said: You're pulling my leg again!

30
At 00:03:15,800, Character said: With them wrinkled stockings,
I could unscrew it!

31
At 00:03:19,100, Character said: Hush, hush, hush!

32
At 00:03:25,220, Character said: Oh, get off you cheeky devil!

33
At 00:03:27,880, Character said: You're having me on again!

34
At 00:03:30,260, Character said: There you are.
I told thee I heard voices.

35
At 00:03:45,440, Character said: You know how it is when you're...
young and stupid.

36
At 00:03:49,800, Character said: It's like being old and stupid,
but you get stupid much quicker.

37
At 00:03:57,320, Character said: Well, all I'm saying is that in
those days I never used to be bored.

38
At 00:04:03,000, Character said: And then I woke up one morning
and there I was -

39
At 00:04:07,700, Character said: bored!

40
At 00:04:10,060, Character said: When was this? 1939.

41
At 00:04:15,240, Character said: But you can't have been bored
since 1939!

42
At 00:04:18,780, Character said: Oh, yes I can.

43
At 00:04:20,980, Character said: You can make it a way of life.

44
At 00:04:23,520, Character said: It's the Yorkshire equivalent of
oriental pathways to self-knowledge.

45
At 00:04:28,320, Character said: 1939? That was the year
the war broke out.

46
At 00:04:32,620, Character said: Yes, I noticed that.

47
At 00:04:35,040, Character said: I thought, fair enough,
they're doing their best for me,

48
At 00:04:39,720, Character said: but I was still bored.

49
At 00:04:42,080, Character said: Huh! When I wasn't scared to death.
DOORBELL

50
At 00:04:46,340, Character said: If that's Howard, I'm not at home.

51
At 00:04:52,800, Character said: It's that religious group.

52
At 00:04:55,360, Character said: You go. You're a trained killer.
You need saving more than me.

53
At 00:05:00,660, Character said: I resent that!
I never missed a church parade.

54
At 00:05:04,800, Character said: If I go, I'll end up
with armfuls of pamphlets.

55
At 00:05:09,000, Character said: Are they free?
No, they're not free. Oh.

56
At 00:05:12,380, Character said: Well, they'll not be selling me
any pamphlets.

57
At 00:05:34,140, Character said: Hei-ho-ho-ha!

58
At 00:05:38,160, Character said: I've g***t some pamphlets on bayonet
fighting if you're interested.

59
At 00:05:42,960, Character said: Bayonet fighting?! All tha's ever
done with a bayonet is polish it!

60
At 00:05:48,480, Character said: It was to get the blood off it.
Tha faints when tha sees blood!

61
At 00:05:53,440, Character said: Only my own.
I don't faint at the enemy's. Oh!

62
At 00:05:57,560, Character said: You're not supposed to spill
your own. That's the whole idea!

63
At 00:06:15,220, Character said: How can these young missionaries
go round telling people how to live their lives?

64
At 00:06:21,900, Character said: I mean, they don't have ANY idea
how to defend themselves against a ruthless enemy.

65
At 00:06:28,420, Character said: Oh, just like thee.

66
At 00:06:30,980, Character said: I shall ignore that.

67
At 00:06:33,440, Character said: Well, they've g***t a d***n good idea
how to sell pamphlets.

68
At 00:06:38,080, Character said: That's how they deal with ruthless
enemies - they sell 'em pamphlets.

69
At 00:06:42,940, Character said: They'd have been no good
in the jungle!

70
At 00:06:46,700, Character said: Oh, just like thee!

71
At 00:06:48,980, Character said: I shall ignore that, too.

72
At 00:06:56,700, Character said: Hey up!

73
At 00:06:59,700, Character said: Now what?

74
At 00:07:01,460, Character said: Did tha see that? What?

75
At 00:07:05,400, Character said: A giant, fat lady
came floating up into the air

76
At 00:07:10,200, Character said: and then
simply floated down again!

77
At 00:07:15,980, Character said: He's gone. He's completely gone.

78
At 00:07:18,980, Character said: Yeah.

79
At 00:07:24,480, Character said: Well, she would, wouldn't she? It's
what you'd expect fat ladies to do.

80
At 00:07:29,380, Character said: Pop up everywhere(!)

81
At 00:07:31,700, Character said: He don't believe me. I believe.
She's worked one miracle already -

82
At 00:07:37,720, Character said: Foggy bought a round
without arguing.

83
At 00:07:41,080, Character said: The man needed a drink.
He's under stress.

84
At 00:07:44,500, Character said: I know when I see things
and when I don't. My one flaw is I'm mad about Nora Batty.

85
At 00:07:51,080, Character said: A big enough flaw for anyone. What
did she look like, this "vision"?

86
At 00:07:56,060, Character said: She were ugly, Norm.

87
At 00:07:58,740, Character said: Horrible. Frightening.

88
At 00:08:01,760, Character said: Probably an ex-girlfriend of yours.

89
At 00:08:04,840, Character said: She were bigger than that -
a giant.

90
At 00:08:08,360, Character said: Yeah, but so was that fearsome bird
you used to knock about with.

91
At 00:08:13,080, Character said: Who were that?

92
At 00:08:16,740, Character said: Well, the one who was a bouncer.

93
At 00:08:19,840, Character said: She weren't a bouncer!
She were an assistant manager.

94
At 00:08:24,780, Character said: Well, she used to throw people out.
That were only part of her job.

95
At 00:08:29,560, Character said: She used to take the money to the
bank and she weren't robbed once!

96
At 00:08:34,580, Character said: A responsible position like that
and here she is - popping up all over the place.

97
At 00:08:41,340, Character said: It wasn't her.
It were bigger than her!

98
At 00:08:48,620, Character said: There she is!

99
At 00:08:55,140, Character said: I think he's finally cracked.

100
At 00:08:57,720, Character said: Nobody can live
in trousers like that without the tension getting to them.

101
At 00:09:12,000, Character said: She were there.
She passed the window.

102
At 00:09:15,420, Character said: We understand. Don't upset yourself.

103
At 00:09:18,080, Character said: I'm telling you, she were there.
I saw her!

104
At 00:09:22,740, Character said: You've been working too hard.

105
At 00:09:25,300, Character said: Oh, I wouldn't go as far as that!

106
At 00:09:28,060, Character said: She is definitely here!

107
At 00:09:31,860, Character said: It's been a long time,

108
At 00:09:34,760, Character said: but I'm pretty certain
that is not a fat lady.

109
At 00:09:38,240, Character said: What's the bar food like here, lads?
Rubbish.

110
At 00:09:41,900, Character said: Nourishing, but nothing fancy.

111
At 00:09:44,320, Character said: Rubbish is closer.

112
At 00:09:46,760, Character said: They don't use microwaves, do they?
They're all using microwaves.

113
At 00:09:52,080, Character said: There's all this global warming,
and still they're using microwaves.

114
At 00:09:57,040, Character said: It's in the air. You can't get shut
of it. What are you doing about it?

115
At 00:10:01,900, Character said: Don't look at me.
I don't use a microwave.

116
At 00:10:05,780, Character said: I still haven't passed toaster.

117
At 00:10:08,540, Character said: Good man. I wish there were
more like you. Thank you!

118
At 00:10:14,240, Character said: Has tha seen a fat lady? Fat lady?

119
At 00:10:17,140, Character said: Don't torture me with fat ladies!

120
At 00:10:23,480, Character said: I bet you wished you hadn't
asked that. Oh, I do, Norm.

121
At 00:10:27,860, Character said: You were perfectly safe, you know.

122
At 00:10:30,400, Character said: Oh, yes. Ah, yes.
I was watching every move.

123
At 00:10:35,340, Character said: Aye, just watching.

124
At 00:10:37,860, Character said: Tha didn't do anything.

125...