Hell.Motel.S01E08.en Subtitles

00:00:31,965 --> 00:00:33,Aah!

00:00:42,206 --> 00:00:44,Sorry. Can we cut?

00:00:44,379 --> 00:00:45,Can we cut?

00:00:45,344 --> 00:00:47,Cut!

00:00:47,482 --> 00:00:49,Hey! Hey. Hey, Paige.

00:00:49,724 --> 00:00:51,Hey, are you okay? You okay?
- Yeah.

00:00:51,275 --> 00:00:53,Oh, man, I thought this might
be too triggering.

00:00:53,137 --> 00:00:54,If you need time,
you just say the word, I--

00:00:54,793 --> 00:00:56,No, no. I'm fine. Really.

00:00:56,965 --> 00:01:00,- Are you sure?
- Yeah. No, not right now,
please. Thank you.

00:01:00,068 --> 00:01:03,Then what is it?
Tell me anything.

00:01:03,689 --> 00:01:06,I guess I just
don't fully understand

00:01:06,379 --> 00:01:08,why Caitlin is standing
here waiting to die.

00:01:09,034 --> 00:01:12,Okay, okay,
but she doesn't die.

00:01:12,482 --> 00:01:13,She doesn't die, right?

00:01:13,758 --> 00:01:15,Uh, Emma jumps out
at the last second,

00:01:16,000 --> 00:01:18,distracting Baphomet and--
- Right. That's my point.

00:01:18,758 --> 00:01:19,Caitlin doesn't save
herself here.

00:01:19,965 --> 00:01:21,Caitlin always saves herself.

00:01:21,724 --> 00:01:23,And after what I've been
through,

00:01:23,310 --> 00:01:25,the last thing
I would do in her situation

00:01:25,137 --> 00:01:27,is wait for someone else
to save me.

00:01:31,241 --> 00:01:34,Someone get those writers
on set to fix this mess!

00:01:34,344 --> 00:01:37,Of course Caitlin should be
saving herself. Duh.

00:01:37,206 --> 00:01:39,Thank you.
This is why you're the queen.

00:01:39,827 --> 00:01:41,- Thank you.
-Thank you.

00:01:53,000 --> 00:01:54,What?

00:01:55,689 --> 00:01:58,It's a reboot.
There's no rules.

00:01:58,206 --> 00:02:00,And you're not the star
of it all.

00:02:00,655 --> 00:02:02,You sure about that?

00:02:02,275 --> 00:02:03,It's not gonna be a problem.
The line comes right here.

00:02:03,965 --> 00:02:05,No, leave that out.
This is what we're doing.

00:02:05,689 --> 00:02:07,Hey, and do me a favor, okay?

00:02:07,379 --> 00:02:09,On the next take, why don't you
give me something to work with?

00:02:10,620 --> 00:02:12,Hold it...

00:02:12,724 --> 00:02:14,...like you could
actually kill someone.

00:02:16,275 --> 00:02:19,Thank you.
Can't wait to do it again.

00:02:28,275 --> 00:02:30,- "Emma, stay back."
- "Caitlin, I can take him."

00:02:30,931 --> 00:02:32,"And then he'll take you.

00:02:32,758 --> 00:02:34,I've danced this dance more
times than I care to remember."

00:02:36,137 --> 00:02:39,Sorry, I--
I'm not shitting on the writers.

00:02:39,586 --> 00:02:40,No, s***t on them.
They're garbage.

00:02:41,000 --> 00:02:43,Studio scraped
the bottom of the barrel.

00:02:43,241 --> 00:02:47,Okay, "I've danced this dance?"
Who actually talks like that?

00:02:47,310 --> 00:02:50,Just a corny white guy who's
over 50, apparently.

00:02:50,827 --> 00:02:54,Exactly.
So can we simplify it?

00:02:54,482 --> 00:02:55,- Yeah.
- Like--

00:02:56,586 --> 00:03:00,Okay, what if she says,
"And then he'll take you.

00:03:01,068 --> 00:03:02,Trust me, Emma,
I know what I'm doing."

00:03:02,551 --> 00:03:03,- Mm-hm.
- Right?

00:03:04,068 --> 00:03:05,Yeah. No, that's
a million times better.

00:03:06,068 --> 00:03:07,- Straight to the point.
- Right?

00:03:07,448 --> 00:03:08,'Cause, I mean,
that's what it's actually like

00:03:09,034 --> 00:03:10,when your life is on the line.

00:03:11,551 --> 00:03:13,Sorry. If-- if I'm being
a diva, expecting rewrites--

00:03:13,965 --> 00:03:15,- Oh my God, no, no.
- I don't wanna be a problem.

00:03:15,724 --> 00:03:16,- Not at all. No.
- Okay.

00:03:17,068 --> 00:03:18,No, no, we are
so lucky to have you.

00:03:18,620 --> 00:03:20,No, I just--

00:03:23,068 --> 00:03:26,I wanted to respect
your privacy,

00:03:26,827 --> 00:03:31,but we can actually make
this mean something.

00:03:31,206 --> 00:03:32,Okay? Because you have
first hand knowledge

00:03:33,000 --> 00:03:36,of what it's really like,
that fear, that panic,

00:03:36,206 --> 00:03:38,that real life hell.
You can mine things

00:03:38,862 --> 00:03:41,every other slasher
pretendsto get.

00:03:41,206 --> 00:03:43,So, no,
I needto hear your thoughts.

00:03:46,551 --> 00:03:49,I'm sorry. I should not have
asked you to go into that.

00:03:49,827 --> 00:03:51,No, no, it's not that,
it's not--

00:03:54,103 --> 00:03:55,I've just never had
a director make me feel

00:03:55,827 --> 00:03:58,like an equal before.
- Oh.

00:03:58,172 --> 00:03:58,And--

00:03:59,000 --> 00:04:00,and not just a pretty face

00:04:00,655 --> 00:04:02,and a pair of t***s, you know?

00:04:02,172 --> 00:04:04,Well, that's a crime.
I've always been a fan.

00:04:04,310 --> 00:04:06,I pitched you for the reboot
from day one.

00:04:06,793 --> 00:04:09,Okay?
- Wow. Well...

00:04:09,068 --> 00:04:10,Guess all it took
for them to say yes

00:04:11,000 --> 00:04:13,was for me to become
a final girl for real.

00:04:14,793 --> 00:04:16,These just arrived for you,
Paige.

00:04:16,103 --> 00:04:17,- Oh!
- Thank you so much.

00:04:17,586 --> 00:04:19,These are beautiful.

00:04:20,068 --> 00:04:20,- Yeah.
- Did you...?

00:04:21,000 --> 00:04:22,No, I didn't.

00:04:24,448 --> 00:04:26,"Saw the news.
Break a leg, but not really.

00:04:26,827 --> 00:04:30,You've g***t enough scars already.
Andy."

00:04:30,275 --> 00:04:33,Andy. From...?

00:04:33,965 --> 00:04:36,Okay, Andy!

00:04:36,379 --> 00:04:38,- Very sweet of him.
- Mm-hm!

00:04:44,965 --> 00:04:48,So, you can trace a
straight line

00:04:48,241 --> 00:04:50,from the comedies of Euripides

00:04:50,620 --> 00:04:54,right up to the slapstick of
Chaplin, Keaton, and Arbuckle.

00:04:54,931 --> 00:04:57,But-- where is it now?

00:04:57,206 --> 00:04:58,It's, uh, changed genres.

00:04:58,931 --> 00:05:01,Action movies, for sure.

00:05:01,620 --> 00:05:03,I like this. Tell me how.

00:05:03,137 --> 00:05:04,Well it's all violence, right?

00:05:04,586 --> 00:05:07,Like comedians,
just guys hitting each other.

00:05:07,655 --> 00:05:09,Hmm. Yeah.
And in the silents, they--

00:05:09,689 --> 00:05:11,They crank it up.

00:05:11,551 --> 00:05:14,Chaplin stabbing people with,
like, the nastiest pitchforks

00:05:15,068 --> 00:05:16,and following it up
with one liners

00:05:16,724 --> 00:05:19,like action heroes do.

00:05:19,379 --> 00:05:21,Good.
Great lateral thinking.

00:05:21,793 --> 00:05:23,And then we get to horror.

00:05:24,172 --> 00:05:26,- You're cri de coeur.
- Yeah.

00:05:26,103 --> 00:05:29,But, like, the final girls
say the same thing

00:05:29,724 --> 00:05:31,when they kill the masked killer

00:05:31,344 --> 00:05:32,or when the dickhead
gets taken down.

00:05:32,931 --> 00:05:34,Yes, you've said this
all before,

00:05:34,103 --> 00:05:36,but weare here to talk comedy.

00:05:36,482 --> 00:05:41,But, Professor, we are here
for your horror knowledge, sir.

00:05:43,206 --> 00:05:44,Well, I'm sure you
could all transfer out

00:05:44,620 --> 00:05:46,if I'm not matching
your expectations.

00:05:46,206 --> 00:05:48,What?
You are an expert in horror

00:05:48,620 --> 00:05:50,in academia and real life.

00:05:50,103 --> 00:05:52,Why are you pretending
like that's not true?

00:05:53,206 --> 00:05:54,What do you want? Hmm?

00:05:54,586 --> 00:05:57,- What do you mean?
- No, what do you want? Hm?

00:05:57,586 --> 00:05:59,You obsessive idiot.

00:05:59,275 --> 00:06:01,What do you want,
a goddamn autograph?

00:06:01,413 --> 00:06:03,What, you want some
grisly tidbit to--

00:06:03,827 --> 00:06:05,to feed into your
death fetish?

00:06:05,586 --> 00:06:10,Because humanity's saddest
and worst instinct excites you?

00:06:10,620 --> 00:06:12,is that what you want?

00:06:15,827 --> 00:06:17,Hey, that's mine!

00:06:19,241 --> 00:06:20,All right.
Get out, everyone.

00:06:21,344 --> 00:06:22,We're done for the day.

00:06:23,206 --> 00:06:26,I will be speaking to
the head of English about this.

00:06:28,965 --> 00:06:30,A***e.

00:06:54,344 --> 00:06:56,Hi, Andy.
Come in.

00:06:56,827 --> 00:07:00,- For the hostess.
- Thank you so much.

00:07:01,310 --> 00:07:02,Can I take your coat?

00:07:02,758 --> 00:07:04,Uh, sure. Thanks.

00:07:07,517 --> 00:07:08,- Look, sorry--
- So, listen--

00:07:08,827 --> 00:07:10,Sending those flowers was
weird.

00:07:10,310 --> 00:07:11,I know I should have
reached out before now.

00:07:11,758 --> 00:07:14,Okay. Sorry. Can I start?
Please?

00:07:14,241 --> 00:07:15,Yeah.

00:07:17,413 --> 00:07:19,I'm the a***e here.

00:07:19,379 --> 00:07:21,And you weren't weird at all.

00:07:21,379 --> 00:07:22,You are not an a***e.

00:07:23,827 --> 00:07:25,Sending those flowers
was so thoughtful,

00:07:25,482 --> 00:07:28,and I could say that I was
just so busy with the movie

00:07:28,103 --> 00:07:30,that I forgot to say thank you,
but I...