Clarksons Farm -megusta S04E02 Subtitles

At 00:00:29,040, Character said: It was now late February.

2
At 00:00:34,120, Character said: Charlie and I were now
both busy looking for pubs.

3
At 00:00:37,800, Character said: And as for the chuckle brother,

4
At 00:00:39,880, Character said: he was still on his nationwide tour.

5
At 00:01:00,000, Character said: Thankfully, Harriet was still around.

6
At 00:01:04,920, Character said: Today, building new pig pens

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At 00:01:08,040, Character said: in preparation for the boar I'd hired

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At 00:01:10,560, Character said: to make some new piglets.

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At 00:01:13,960, Character said: And, with that done,

10
At 00:01:15,640, Character said: I turned up
with the farm's perfume manufacturer.

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At 00:01:20,560, Character said: Where's the boar?
Not you, not you.

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At 00:01:22,760, Character said: Harriet's bringing him down.

13
At 00:01:24,840, Character said: And then,
he's going to service these three.

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At 00:01:28,200, Character said: These are the ones we gave birth
to in March.

15
At 00:01:30,640, Character said: They're nearly one!
We can't get Ajax back,

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At 00:01:33,560, Character said: you know, the boar from last year?

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At 00:01:35,360, Character said: Obviously not 'cause that's their daddy.
Exactly, he's their dad.

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At 00:01:37,240, Character said: So we've g***t a new one
and he's called Josca.

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At 00:01:39,640, Character said: And he's on his way now.
Josca.

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At 00:01:42,160, Character said: He's going
to service these three,

21
At 00:01:44,720, Character said: but we've g***t to get a move on,
or he has.

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At 00:01:47,200, Character said: We can have none of that
Oh, I can't get it in behaviour.

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At 00:01:50,560, Character said: Because if we want Christmas hams,
which we do

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At 00:01:52,840, Character said: Yeah.

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At 00:01:53,840, Character said: And we're already at the end of February,

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At 00:01:56,440, Character said: and it's three months, three weeks
and three days of pregnancy.

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At 00:02:00,520, Character said: So I want him out of that,
porkscrew deployed,

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At 00:02:04,800, Character said: and ready for docking procedures.

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At 00:02:07,640, Character said: Hey, Harriet. Morning.

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At 00:02:10,200, Character said: I've brought you a pig!

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At 00:02:11,600, Character said: Oh, you're big enough.

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At 00:02:13,080, Character said: Hello, Josca.
He's nice.

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At 00:02:15,080, Character said: Is he bigger than the last--
Yes, he is.

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At 00:02:16,640, Character said: Bigger than Ajax? He is.
Yes.

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At 00:02:18,400, Character said: Come on, piggy piggy!
Down we go, piggy!

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At 00:02:21,560, Character said: Now there's a bit of food.
Come on, Josca.

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At 00:02:23,440, Character said: I don't want to distract him
from the ladies.

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At 00:02:26,080, Character said: Yeah.

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At 00:02:29,160, Character said: This is what I want to see.

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At 00:02:30,480, Character said: Come on, Josca.
Let's have some action.

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At 00:02:33,040, Character said: Let's have some bébés.

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At 00:02:35,000, Character said: He's frothing.

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At 00:02:36,320, Character said: This is a one-night stand
we're looking for here, mate.

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At 00:02:38,360, Character said: Come on, hurry up, quicker.
Get on with it.

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At 00:02:41,440, Character said: Rotters Nightclub, Doncaster, 1978:
keep that in your mind.

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At 00:02:46,280, Character said: So I'm just So, let me just
You reckon these are the girls?

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At 00:02:49,800, Character said: Look on the bums
and you can see the little

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At 00:02:52,400, Character said: Clitoris. Clitoris.

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At 00:02:55,160, Character said: You can't! They don't have clitorises.

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At 00:02:56,920, Character said: Hey! I promise you, they do.

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At 00:03:03,080, Character said: Pigs have clitorises?!

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At 00:03:07,160, Character said: I didn't know that this morning.

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At 00:03:10,320, Character said: There has been no morning in the last
63 years that I've known that.

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At 00:03:15,320, Character said: The little flicky bit?
Yeah?

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At 00:03:16,920, Character said: That's the clitoris.
And he says you can't see it

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At 00:03:19,360, Character said: They all have them. Look at this one!
Oh Jesus!

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At 00:03:20,960, Character said: He can't find it either, I can tell you.

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At 00:03:24,920, Character said: Why do they? Do they?
I thought humans--

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At 00:03:27,200, Character said: Do you not know
what a clitoris looks like?

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At 00:03:28,680, Character said: I know, I do.

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At 00:03:29,640, Character said: Have you never found one?

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At 00:03:33,000, Character said: I know human girls have them.
You've never seen one? All animals--

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At 00:03:37,080, Character said: They don't.
It's the start of the vagina, love.

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At 00:03:39,360, Character said: Yes, they do! Look, look, look, this one!

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At 00:03:41,960, Character said: You can see the flick, the flick.

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At 00:03:43,560, Character said: See? It's a little bean.
A little bean!

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At 00:03:47,240, Character said: I can't!
You can!

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At 00:03:48,640, Character said: It looks like a little Oh.

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At 00:03:53,560, Character said: To be honest, biology wasn't
the main thing on my mind with the pigs.

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At 00:03:58,040, Character said: My worry, along with all
the other pig farmers in the area,

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At 00:04:01,600, Character said: such as Richard and Vanessa

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At 00:04:03,520, Character said: Hi, Jeremy.

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At 00:04:04,880, Character said: Good to see you.

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At 00:04:06,320, Character said: Well
Not good, is it.

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At 00:04:08,440, Character said: was that the local abattoir

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At 00:04:10,840, Character said: had just shut down.

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At 00:04:14,320, Character said: It's a very sad day
for all local farmers.

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At 00:04:18,280, Character said: I did some research last night.

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At 00:04:21,440, Character said: There are now only 49 local abattoirs
left in the whole country.

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At 00:04:27,280, Character said: There were a hundred small abattoirs
in 2007.

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At 00:04:30,800, Character said: Then it was 60, and now there's 49.

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At 00:04:32,480, Character said: And they say that by 2030,
there won't be any.

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At 00:04:36,800, Character said: The legislation from the government
on abattoirs changes

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At 00:04:40,280, Character said: every five minutes.

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At 00:04:41,480, Character said: Makes it virtually impossible
to run an abattoir.

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At 00:04:43,880, Character said: Yes.

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At 00:04:44,880, Character said: So all that farm-to-fork, you know,
the government's gone, Yes, farm

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At 00:04:47,960, Character said: It's utterly crazy.

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At 00:04:49,280, Character said: Nobody local can buy our pork,
nobody local can buy any local pork,

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At 00:04:53,000, Character said: because we can't get it
slaughtered locally, now.

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At 00:04:54,960, Character said: All our pigs are now in one basket,
so to speak,

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At 00:04:58,000, Character said: and going to the supermarket.

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At 00:05:00,840, Character said: But that's totally
Yeah, but who's slaughtering them?

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At 00:05:02,400, Character said: They go on a three-hour lorry trip.

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At 00:05:04,640, Character said: So you just put yours
on a huge great lorry

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At 00:05:06,520, Character said: which goes off
to an industrial slaughterhouse?

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At 00:05:09,280, Character said: Exactly.

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At 00:05:10,280, Character said: But when you've already g***t
I've g***t 39 ready to go next week.

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At 00:05:14,080, Character said: Yeah, the cost of the lorry
and the washing-out, that is just

100
At 00:05:16,960, Character said: Exactly,
it's all just too expensive.

101
At 00:05:20,280, Character said: Oh, I don't know what to do. I've g***t
to work out something for next week,

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At 00:05:23,880, Character said: 'cause they're all ready to go.

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At 00:05:26,280, Character said: Good luck.
Yeah, good luck.

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At 00:05:29,920, Character said: Because my pig enterprise
was quite small,

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At 00:05:33,120, Character said: there was no way I could afford
to hire my own lorry

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At 00:05:36,440, Character said: to go to a far-away abattoir.

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At 00:05:40,520, Character said: However,

108
At 00:05:41,760, Character said: I had to put that problem
on the back burner,

109
At 00:05:44,560, Character said: because I needed to show Lisa
a pub I'd found.

110
At 00:05:49,240, Character said: Have you g***t a business plan?

111
At 00:05:50,680, Character said: Yeah.
You know an Irish pub, I'm not sure

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At 00:05:53,520, Character said: it's the same now, but it used to be

113
At 00:05:55,640, Character said: Well, you tell me actually,
'cause you're Irish.

114
At 00:05:57,800, Character said: In Ireland, it seemed to me to be a pub

115
At 00:05:59,640, Character said: and then on the other side,
you had like a village shop.

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At 00:06:02,360, Character said: Oh, yeah!

117
At 00:06:03,640, Character said: The reason why they did that is 'cause
all the men would get paid on a Friday,

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At 00:06:07,520, Character said: and the wife would go :
Would you get some bread and butter?

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At 00:06:10,640, Character said: And he'd go off with all his wages,
go to the pub,

120
At 00:06:13,080, Character said: and drink it all and come home
absolutely smashed and--

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At 00:06:16,280, Character said: And not buy
the bread and butter.

122
At 00:06:17,400, Character said: No, forget everything.

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At 00:06:18,400, Character said: So half of the pub was a little shop.

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At 00:06:22,000, Character said: And as soon as the man went in,

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At 00:06:24,320, Character said: the barman would take his shopping list,
pack it all up,

126
At 00:06:27,560, Character said: take the money out and then give him
the rest of the money to drink away.

127
At 00:06:30,360, Character said: And as he was leaving, he'd leave
As the man was stumbling out,

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