Birds of a Feather s03e12 Business Subtitles

00:00:07,680 --> 00:00:10,I've been dying to do that ever since I
g***t out of the doctors.

00:00:10,900 --> 00:00:13,You know it's like when you've g***t an
itchy bum. There's always someone

00:00:13,300 --> 00:00:14,behind you, isn't there?

00:00:14,940 --> 00:00:17,Did the doctor say exactly what was
causing your irritation?

00:00:18,140 --> 00:00:19,What do you mean? Apart from you, Dore.

00:00:20,540 --> 00:00:22,No, he said it's some allergy I've
picked up.

00:00:22,880 --> 00:00:26,Hey, Trace, have you changed your
washing pad? No. Have you changed your

00:00:26,240 --> 00:00:27,underwear?

00:00:28,440 --> 00:00:29,Yes.

00:00:29,560 --> 00:00:30,There's a letter there from your
husband.

00:00:31,180 --> 00:00:34,Oh, unusual for him to put crayon to
paper.

00:00:34,640 --> 00:00:35,Perhaps you're a bit run down, Sharon.

00:00:36,140 --> 00:00:39,You know what I've always found to be a
wonderful tonic? I'm not walking past

00:00:39,140 --> 00:00:40,work with my blouse open, darling.

00:00:41,960 --> 00:00:42,Cod liver oil.

00:00:43,340 --> 00:00:46,Oh, our cousin's great -grandad swore by
fish, never anything else.

00:00:47,240 --> 00:00:49,Trace, the man thought he was a
flamingo.

00:00:50,240 --> 00:00:52,Yeah, he was mad, but he was fit.

00:00:52,400 --> 00:00:55,There's not many 95 -year -olds who
spend all day standing on one leg.

00:00:56,010 --> 00:01:00,I don't want cod liver oil. I ain't run
down. I've g***t an allergy.

00:01:01,810 --> 00:01:05,The anti -histamines the doctor gave me
will soon get rid of it. I tell you, a

00:01:05,550 --> 00:01:06,bit of bloody head.

00:01:06,450 --> 00:01:07,I can't believe it.

00:01:07,810 --> 00:01:09,£3 .40 for a prescription?

00:01:10,770 --> 00:01:12,Disgusting. I worked it out.

00:01:12,650 --> 00:01:17,I clear £71 .35 a week from that poxy
cleaning job. So that prescription has

00:01:17,430 --> 00:01:19,cost me 5 % of my wages.

00:01:19,490 --> 00:01:22,I know how you feel, Sharon. My
allowance from Marcus goes nowhere these

00:01:23,080 --> 00:01:26,You know, I have had to reduce my tennis
lessons from four to three a fortnight.

00:01:28,120 --> 00:01:29,Ain't there a support group you can
join, girl?

00:01:31,560 --> 00:01:33,Blimey! He's written two pages.

00:01:33,960 --> 00:01:35,Someone must have taught him the second
half of the alphabet.

00:01:36,400 --> 00:01:39,What you have to understand, Sharon, is
that when Marcus and I voted

00:01:39,440 --> 00:01:43,Conservative, we did so on the strict
understanding that any recession would

00:01:43,340 --> 00:01:44,start and end north of Watford.

00:01:45,180 --> 00:01:48,We're... Just a little misery in the
inner London boroughs to give the

00:01:48,550 --> 00:01:50,impression that the whole country was
suffering equally.

00:01:50,770 --> 00:01:52,You're such a selfish mare.

00:01:52,890 --> 00:01:55,I look after number one. Life isn't a
charity.

00:01:55,830 --> 00:01:56,Oh, no.

00:01:57,190 --> 00:01:58,What? Something happened to Chris?

00:01:59,230 --> 00:02:00,No. It's bad news.

00:02:01,770 --> 00:02:03,His uncle Costas has died.

00:02:03,790 --> 00:02:04,Oh.

00:02:05,210 --> 00:02:06,What do you want for dinner?

00:02:09,629 --> 00:02:13,Don't overdo the grief, will you,
Tracey? I didn't know him. Well, you're

00:02:13,070 --> 00:02:15,upset, are you, Sharon? I thought you
disliked all Chris's family.

00:02:15,930 --> 00:02:17,No, not Costas. He was different.

00:02:17,950 --> 00:02:19,He treated me all right.

00:02:19,870 --> 00:02:22,When they all come up to me at the
wedding to pin the money on me, he was

00:02:22,890 --> 00:02:24,only one that used a safety pin.

00:02:26,750 --> 00:02:31,The jammy little... Costas has only left
Chris's drinking club. Well, that's

00:02:31,430 --> 00:02:33,lucky. It's better than bleeding lucky.

00:02:34,590 --> 00:02:37,It's what the local Greek football team
uses a calf and a club a***s.

00:02:38,450 --> 00:02:40,It's what's known as a nice little
earner.

00:02:41,770 --> 00:02:43,Blimey, he wants me to run it for him.

00:02:44,150 --> 00:02:45,Reckons it'll help and bring us back
together.

00:02:46,450 --> 00:02:47,That's great, shall.

00:02:48,390 --> 00:02:51,If you think I'm going to give that
little weasel another chance to walk all

00:02:51,810 --> 00:02:55,over me... I think you should think
about it before you say no. There's a

00:02:55,210 --> 00:02:58,money to be made in catering. I went to
school with a girl called Hester Gordon.

00:02:58,090 --> 00:03:02,She now makes 50k a year selling filled
rolls and sandwiches around shops and

00:03:02,990 --> 00:03:06,offices. Well, at least talk to him
about it. It could be he finally wants

00:03:06,510 --> 00:03:07,give something to your marriage.

00:03:08,160 --> 00:03:10,Well, excuse me if I don't get too
excited.

00:03:10,280 --> 00:03:13,The only other thing he ever gave to our
marriage took me six months and, of

00:03:13,260 --> 00:03:14,course, a penicillin to get rid of.

00:03:15,700 --> 00:03:16,And it weren't no allergy.

00:03:22,480 --> 00:03:23,All right, babe?

00:03:30,460 --> 00:03:31,G***t a light?

00:03:32,420 --> 00:03:34,What do you look like?

00:03:35,260 --> 00:03:36,I'm a man of property now, aren't I?

00:03:37,340 --> 00:03:38,I g***t this off Ronnie the Piles.

00:03:39,580 --> 00:03:41,He'd swap his granny for a roll of soft
toilet paper.

00:03:43,100 --> 00:03:45,I can see you're really cut up about
Costas, your mercenary little git.

00:03:46,320 --> 00:03:47,I was quite upset, actually.

00:03:48,720 --> 00:03:50,But I just can't help being chuffed
about the cash.

00:03:51,540 --> 00:03:54,For the first time in my life, I feel
like I'm out in front.

00:03:54,820 --> 00:03:55,Like I'm somebody.

00:03:56,820 --> 00:03:58,It's going to make a big difference to
the way I'm treated.

00:03:59,500 --> 00:04:02,Do you reckon the other cons will ask
now before they spit in your teeth?

00:04:03,020 --> 00:04:05,I'm talking about when I get out,
amongst me own.

00:04:06,239 --> 00:04:08,Mind you, that's only fair.

00:04:08,840 --> 00:04:11,Back in Cyprus, we was the most
important family in our village.

00:04:11,880 --> 00:04:13,Only because you owned a goat.

00:04:14,280 --> 00:04:15,Stop being such a pain shell.

00:04:16,959 --> 00:04:19,Look, this cap is going to be good news
for the both of us.

00:04:19,839 --> 00:04:21,I haven't said I work there yet.

00:04:22,120 --> 00:04:24,Don't be a melon, it's a good little
job.

00:04:24,240 --> 00:04:27,I've g***t a good little job. Get out of
it, you never had a good little job.

00:04:28,100 --> 00:04:30,You've done every poxy job there is
except work down a sewer.

00:04:31,540 --> 00:04:34,You carry on like that and I'll stuff
that cigar right where Ronnie's g***t his

00:04:34,860 --> 00:04:35,piles.

00:04:36,570 --> 00:04:38,So what is this good little job then,
eh?

00:04:39,490 --> 00:04:41,Cleaning. Oh, struggle, John.

00:04:42,430 --> 00:04:44,It's a show -up having a wife who scrubs
floors for a living.

00:04:45,430 --> 00:04:47,Just like it's a show -up for you having
a husband in the nick.

00:04:48,450 --> 00:04:51,And don't tell me you don't lie and tell
some people I'm working in Saudi.

00:04:51,910 --> 00:04:53,No, not at all. I tell them the truth.

00:04:54,830 --> 00:04:56,I do lie about what you're in here for,
though.

00:04:57,950 --> 00:05:00,I tell them you was nicked for sleeping
with farm animals.

00:05:04,990 --> 00:05:05,You are joking.

00:05:06,450 --> 00:05:07,Never know till you get out, will you?

00:05:09,470 --> 00:05:12,But if you suddenly find you've g***t the
nickname Old MacDonald, you know why.

00:05:14,470 --> 00:05:15,Oh.

00:05:15,570 --> 00:05:16,What are you doing?

00:05:16,870 --> 00:05:18,Scratching me back. I've g***t an allergy.

00:05:18,670 --> 00:05:19,Allergy? Yes, allergy.

00:05:20,210 --> 00:05:22,It means you're allergic to something,
like you and work.

00:05:23,850 --> 00:05:25,Just give me eight years to get rid of
it. Yeah.

00:05:26,870 --> 00:05:29,It's probably something you're caught
scrubbing bogs or whatever it is you

00:05:29,310 --> 00:05:30,clean.

00:05:30,450 --> 00:05:33,Look, why don't you give the job up and
go and work down the cave?

00:05:34,230 --> 00:05:36,Because I know you and I don't trust
you.

00:05:37,210 --> 00:05:38,You'll have me slaving in there for
peanuts.

00:05:39,190 --> 00:05:40,Of course I won't.

00:05:40,110 --> 00:05:41,Why do you want me working there then?

00:05:41,790 --> 00:05:44,Because the place can be a little
goldmine. You know it can.

00:05:45,990 --> 00:05:46,But?

00:05:47,330 --> 00:05:51,Look, Costas let the place go a little,
right? And the profits went down.

00:05:51,590 --> 00:05:54,Then the locals started complaining
about drunks coming out in the small

00:05:54,950 --> 00:05:57,hollering and shouting. And the old bill
threatened to take away the booze

00:05:57,990 --> 00:05:59,license. So the family have had enough.

00:06:00,010 --> 00:06:01,They just want to...