The Drew Carey Show Look Mom, One Hand S07E25 Subtitles

At 00:00:00,040, Character said: Man, I hate Mother's Day.

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At 00:00:02,080, Character said: I clean the bathroom, hide my p***n.

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At 00:00:07,060, Character said: Anybody see my Bible?

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At 00:00:10,760, Character said: I found some more gross stuff for your
box of shame.

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At 00:00:16,420, Character said: Put my mesh underwear in there?

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At 00:00:18,020, Character said: No. I picked them up with a stick of
disgust and put them in a can of

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At 00:00:23,440, Character said: Yeah, I'm not looking forward to Sunday
either.

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At 00:00:25,880, Character said: My mom's always on me about, what are
you going to do with your life? You

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At 00:00:28,940, Character said: too much. Oh, big man with a knife, just
like your father. You don't have the

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At 00:00:32,159, Character said: gut.

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At 00:00:34,420, Character said: Yeah, Mother's Day s***s.

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At 00:00:36,440, Character said: You know, the worst of having a special
brunch, we should spend Mother's Day

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At 00:00:39,660, Character said: together. I mean, we could run
interference for each other. Oh, that's

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At 00:00:42,500, Character said: idea.

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At 00:00:43,640, Character said: Hey, what's a purple velour jumpsuit
doing in your box of shame?

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At 00:00:49,040, Character said: I could put it on and show you.

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At 00:01:00,270, Character said: energy calling me back where it comes
from it's such a crude

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At 00:01:07,010, Character said: attitude it's back where it belongs all
the little chicks with the

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At 00:01:13,750, Character said: crimson lips go cleveland rock cleveland
rock living in sin

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At 00:01:39,120, Character said: Not seeing someone. You know, you're not
getting any younger.

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At 00:01:43,380, Character said: You're not getting any younger.

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At 00:01:46,560, Character said: Could be worse.

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At 00:01:47,920, Character said: This one's living in the park with
another man.

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At 00:01:52,240, Character said: Well, I've given up on this one. Who'd
marry this face?

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At 00:01:58,820, Character said: One day we'll settle this, you and I.

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At 00:02:02,900, Character said: Tick -tock, old lady.

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At 00:02:09,320, Character said: This is my new stepmother, Melanie.

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At 00:02:11,160, Character said: Hi, guys.

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At 00:02:14,260, Character said: Oh, my God.

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At 00:02:15,440, Character said: She looks just like her.

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At 00:02:17,080, Character said: It's creepy, but technically it's not a
crime.

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At 00:02:36,240, Character said: I know it sounds weird, but I feel so
safe and small in your arms.

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At 00:02:41,940, Character said: Everybody, this is Mr. Wick's mom,
Maggie Wick.

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At 00:02:44,240, Character said: Oh, my.

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At 00:02:47,320, Character said: You know, I had that exact same dress
years ago when it was fashionable.

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At 00:02:52,780, Character said: Of course, it looks much better on you,
dear.

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At 00:02:55,020, Character said: Well, I certainly hope so.

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At 00:02:57,720, Character said: Who do I have to sleep with to get a
drink around here?

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At 00:03:09,290, Character said: son with a baby.

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At 00:03:12,410, Character said: I could get married like Steve. You
know, if I dug a hole in the woods and

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At 00:03:15,790, Character said: proposed to the first thing that fell
into it.

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At 00:03:20,270, Character said: You have to be nice to me. It's my day.

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At 00:03:23,250, Character said: I'll be nice to you when it's asexual
lump of dough day.

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At 00:03:28,590, Character said: Oh, Steven, honey, I worry about you
working as a garden at prison. Oh, don't

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At 00:03:34,330, Character said: look. Happy Mother's Day.

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At 00:03:37,260, Character said: I g***t you a personalized license plate.

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At 00:03:39,660, Character said: Remember the Cincinnati kitchen rapist?
He made that.

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At 00:03:46,180, Character said: You tell him from me that I just love
it.

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At 00:03:52,040, Character said: Hey, I thought you said your grandma was
coming to this thing.

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At 00:03:54,880, Character said: Oh, she's fixing her face before she
comes in.

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At 00:03:59,460, Character said: Let's party.

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At 00:04:11,600, Character said: a gentleman used to stand up for a lady
before the hippies.

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At 00:04:17,019, Character said: Well, it's after ten. I'm going to get a
whiskey.

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At 00:04:21,920, Character said: Oh, God, this is getting so bad.

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At 00:04:24,960, Character said: You are so lucky to have a little
grandchild.

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At 00:04:28,260, Character said: Well, you know, we'd have babies and
relationships, too, if we just found the

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At 00:04:32,100, Character said: right people.

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At 00:04:32,860, Character said: Yeah. You've just been busy, you know.

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At 00:04:35,500, Character said: Doing what?

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At 00:04:37,080, Character said: Oh, you know...

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At 00:04:38,510, Character said: Getting ahead, having a career, that
kind of stuff.

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At 00:04:41,050, Character said: Look, everyone, my name's on TV.

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At 00:04:43,490, Character said: These are the names of the top adult
website users in the Cleveland area.

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At 00:04:51,170, Character said: Robert Johnson, the controversial owner
of Internet service provider CyberCleve

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At 00:04:55,830, Character said: .com, is publishing these names on his
homepage as part of his campaign against

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At 00:05:00,870, Character said: pornography.

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At 00:05:02,750, Character said: Well,

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At 00:05:04,430, Character said: I guess we know what you've been so busy
with.

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At 00:05:08,690, Character said: I'm so sorry.

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At 00:05:10,450, Character said: Oh, don't be too sorry. Your kid's
famous, too.

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At 00:05:13,970, Character said: Oh, no.

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At 00:05:16,730, Character said: Thank goodness you're not... I can't
find his very common name.

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At 00:05:22,710, Character said: Oh, Kate.

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At 00:05:26,390, Character said: Lewis, ** I going to see your name on
that list?

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At 00:05:29,950, Character said: Yeah. I'm hideous. I'm the only one who
will touch me.

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At 00:05:37,420, Character said: for having been so humiliated.

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At 00:05:39,220, Character said: Really? I would have thought having the
same dress as that gigantic hooker over

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At 00:05:42,820, Character said: there would have been your whole plan.

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At 00:05:49,680, Character said: Half my friends saw that broadcast.

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At 00:05:51,800, Character said: I've never been so embarrassed in my
life.

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At 00:05:54,080, Character said: Yeah, that was awful.

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At 00:05:56,400, Character said: Would you like a little Irish cream in
your coffee?

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At 00:06:00,220, Character said: Sure, just a little. Okay, say when.

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At 00:06:08,970, Character said: Well, we'll just fill it up.

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At 00:06:12,130, Character said: Hey, any of you beautiful young women
seen our mothers?

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At 00:06:19,590, Character said: I'm just going to get a couple beers.

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At 00:06:22,970, Character said: Hey, if you want us, we'll just be in
here masturbating.

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At 00:06:32,450, Character said: Too soon, huh?

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At 00:06:36,410, Character said: How are you doing?

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At 00:06:37,640, Character said: Not bad, considering your mother just
found out that her baby likes to look at

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At 00:06:40,720, Character said: pictures of n***d nurses with guns.

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At 00:06:45,820, Character said: If they're n***d, how do you know that
they're nurses?

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At 00:06:51,860, Character said: That's been a topic of discussion in the
chat room for quite some time.

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At 00:06:58,920, Character said: So do they call? Yeah, and they're being
real jerks. They won't take our names

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At 00:07:02,360, Character said: off the internet.

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At 00:07:03,280, Character said: Oh, boo -hoo, you people think you've
g***t it bad.

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At 00:07:06,190, Character said: They're saying I'm the number one web
pervert in all of Cleveland. How do you

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At 00:07:09,950, Character said: think I feel?

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At 00:07:11,650, Character said: Always looking over my shoulder,
wondering what young punk's going to

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At 00:07:15,310, Character said: behind me and knock me off my throne.

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At 00:07:19,010, Character said: I guess this explains why none of our
little darlings have a wife or a family.

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At 00:07:24,890, Character said: If you're spending hours on the naughty
internet, you don't have time to find a

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At 00:07:30,330, Character said: really nice girl.

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At 00:07:38,160, Character said: We should concentrate on the children.

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At 00:07:40,100, Character said: Now, they're good kids, but we've g***t to
get them back on the right path, and I

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At 00:07:44,520, Character said: have a plan.

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At 00:07:46,060, Character said: They can't do this to us. It's g***t to be
illegal.

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At 00:07:48,620, Character said: There's only one way to find out. Just
sue them.

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At 00:07:51,120, Character said: You just can't take that I'm number one,
can you?

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At 00:07:57,820, Character said: Children, we've been talking, and we've
decided you're on a bad path.

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At 00:08:02,160, Character said: You need our help.

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At 00:08:03,660, Character said: Uh, what exactly do you mean by that?

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At 00:08:07,120, Character said: We're moving in with you.

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At 00:08:11,880, Character said: Dibs on Kate's mom.

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At 00:09:06,510, Character said: for my beard.

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At 00:09:08,190, Character said: My legal erotica!

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At 00:09:11,590, Character said: You're burning my lady!

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At 00:09:13,090, Character said: Yes, but I saved that purple jumpsuit I
gave you. And now that you're on soy

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At 00:09:19,230, Character said: milk, I bet we'll get you back into it.

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At 00:09:23,130, Character said: Oh, we saw the smoke. What's going on
here?

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At 00:09:25,470, Character said: I'm burning Bruce Smut.

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At 00:09:27,350, Character said: Oh, for God's sakes. If he wants to look
at a magazine, let him look.

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At 00:09:31,570, Character said: At least he's not out stabbing
prostitutes.

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At 00:09:34,540, Character said: Like my sister's boy.

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At 00:09:38,360, Character said: Yeah, Mom, I'm not out stabbing
prostitutes.

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At 00:09:42,560, Character said: I'm just doing this for your own good.

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At 00:09:44,980, Character said: Now, why can't you be like your brother
here?

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At 00:09:47,920, Character said: Beautiful child.

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At 00:09:50,360, Character said: Interesting wife.

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At 00:09:52,320, Character said: Yeah, don't...