The Drew Carey Show s07e25 Look Mom, One Hand Subtitles

At 00:00:00,040, Character said: Man, I hate Mother's Day.

2
At 00:00:02,080, Character said: I clean the bathroom, hide my p***n.

3
At 00:00:07,060, Character said: Anybody see my Bible?

4
At 00:00:10,760, Character said: I found some more gross stuff for your
box of shame.

5
At 00:00:16,420, Character said: Put my mesh underwear in there?

6
At 00:00:18,020, Character said: No. I picked them up with a stick of
disgust and put them in a can of

7
At 00:00:23,440, Character said: Yeah, I'm not looking forward to Sunday
either.

8
At 00:00:25,880, Character said: My mom's always on me about, what are
you going to do with your life? You

9
At 00:00:28,940, Character said: too much. Oh, big man with a knife, just
like your father. You don't have the

10
At 00:00:32,159, Character said: gut.

11
At 00:00:34,420, Character said: Yeah, Mother's Day s***s.

12
At 00:00:36,440, Character said: You know, the worst of having a special
brunch, we should spend Mother's Day

13
At 00:00:39,660, Character said: together. I mean, we could run
interference for each other. Oh, that's

14
At 00:00:42,500, Character said: idea.

15
At 00:00:43,640, Character said: Hey, what's a purple velour jumpsuit
doing in your box of shame?

16
At 00:00:49,040, Character said: I could put it on and show you.

17
At 00:01:00,270, Character said: energy calling me back where it comes
from it's such a crude

18
At 00:01:07,010, Character said: attitude it's back where it belongs all
the little chicks with the

19
At 00:01:13,750, Character said: crimson lips go cleveland rock cleveland
rock living in sin

20
At 00:01:39,120, Character said: Not seeing someone. You know, you're not
getting any younger.

21
At 00:01:43,380, Character said: You're not getting any younger.

22
At 00:01:46,560, Character said: Could be worse.

23
At 00:01:47,920, Character said: This one's living in the park with
another man.

24
At 00:01:52,240, Character said: Well, I've given up on this one. Who'd
marry this face?

25
At 00:01:58,820, Character said: One day we'll settle this, you and I.

26
At 00:02:02,900, Character said: Tick -tock, old lady.

27
At 00:02:09,320, Character said: This is my new stepmother, Melanie.

28
At 00:02:11,160, Character said: Hi, guys.

29
At 00:02:14,260, Character said: Oh, my God.

30
At 00:02:15,440, Character said: She looks just like her.

31
At 00:02:17,080, Character said: It's creepy, but technically it's not a
crime.

32
At 00:02:36,240, Character said: I know it sounds weird, but I feel so
safe and small in your arms.

33
At 00:02:41,940, Character said: Everybody, this is Mr. Wick's mom,
Maggie Wick.

34
At 00:02:44,240, Character said: Oh, my.

35
At 00:02:47,320, Character said: You know, I had that exact same dress
years ago when it was fashionable.

36
At 00:02:52,780, Character said: Of course, it looks much better on you,
dear.

37
At 00:02:55,020, Character said: Well, I certainly hope so.

38
At 00:02:57,720, Character said: Who do I have to sleep with to get a
drink around here?

39
At 00:03:09,290, Character said: son with a baby.

40
At 00:03:12,410, Character said: I could get married like Steve. You
know, if I dug a hole in the woods and

41
At 00:03:15,790, Character said: proposed to the first thing that fell
into it.

42
At 00:03:20,270, Character said: You have to be nice to me. It's my day.

43
At 00:03:23,250, Character said: I'll be nice to you when it's asexual
lump of dough day.

44
At 00:03:28,590, Character said: Oh, Steven, honey, I worry about you
working as a garden at prison. Oh, don't

45
At 00:03:34,330, Character said: look. Happy Mother's Day.

46
At 00:03:37,260, Character said: I g***t you a personalized license plate.

47
At 00:03:39,660, Character said: Remember the Cincinnati kitchen rapist?
He made that.

48
At 00:03:46,180, Character said: You tell him from me that I just love
it.

49
At 00:03:52,040, Character said: Hey, I thought you said your grandma was
coming to this thing.

50
At 00:03:54,880, Character said: Oh, she's fixing her face before she
comes in.

51
At 00:03:59,460, Character said: Let's party.

52
At 00:04:11,600, Character said: a gentleman used to stand up for a lady
before the hippies.

53
At 00:04:17,019, Character said: Well, it's after ten. I'm going to get a
whiskey.

54
At 00:04:21,920, Character said: Oh, God, this is getting so bad.

55
At 00:04:24,960, Character said: You are so lucky to have a little
grandchild.

56
At 00:04:28,260, Character said: Well, you know, we'd have babies and
relationships, too, if we just found the

57
At 00:04:32,100, Character said: right people.

58
At 00:04:32,860, Character said: Yeah. You've just been busy, you know.

59
At 00:04:35,500, Character said: Doing what?

60
At 00:04:37,080, Character said: Oh, you know...

61
At 00:04:38,510, Character said: Getting ahead, having a career, that
kind of stuff.

62
At 00:04:41,050, Character said: Look, everyone, my name's on TV.

63
At 00:04:43,490, Character said: These are the names of the top adult
website users in the Cleveland area.

64
At 00:04:51,170, Character said: Robert Johnson, the controversial owner
of Internet service provider CyberCleve

65
At 00:04:55,830, Character said: .com, is publishing these names on his
homepage as part of his campaign against

66
At 00:05:00,870, Character said: pornography.

67
At 00:05:02,750, Character said: Well,

68
At 00:05:04,430, Character said: I guess we know what you've been so busy
with.

69
At 00:05:08,690, Character said: I'm so sorry.

70
At 00:05:10,450, Character said: Oh, don't be too sorry. Your kid's
famous, too.

71
At 00:05:13,970, Character said: Oh, no.

72
At 00:05:16,730, Character said: Thank goodness you're not... I can't
find his very common name.

73
At 00:05:22,710, Character said: Oh, Kate.

74
At 00:05:26,390, Character said: Lewis, ** I going to see your name on
that list?

75
At 00:05:29,950, Character said: Yeah. I'm hideous. I'm the only one who
will touch me.

76
At 00:05:37,420, Character said: for having been so humiliated.

77
At 00:05:39,220, Character said: Really? I would have thought having the
same dress as that gigantic hooker over

78
At 00:05:42,820, Character said: there would have been your whole plan.

79
At 00:05:49,680, Character said: Half my friends saw that broadcast.

80
At 00:05:51,800, Character said: I've never been so embarrassed in my
life.

81
At 00:05:54,080, Character said: Yeah, that was awful.

82
At 00:05:56,400, Character said: Would you like a little Irish cream in
your coffee?

83
At 00:06:00,220, Character said: Sure, just a little. Okay, say when.

84
At 00:06:08,970, Character said: Well, we'll just fill it up.

85
At 00:06:12,130, Character said: Hey, any of you beautiful young women
seen our mothers?

86
At 00:06:19,590, Character said: I'm just going to get a couple beers.

87
At 00:06:22,970, Character said: Hey, if you want us, we'll just be in
here masturbating.

88
At 00:06:32,450, Character said: Too soon, huh?

89
At 00:06:36,410, Character said: How are you doing?

90
At 00:06:37,640, Character said: Not bad, considering your mother just
found out that her baby likes to look at

91
At 00:06:40,720, Character said: pictures of n***d nurses with guns.

92
At 00:06:45,820, Character said: If they're n***d, how do you know that
they're nurses?

93
At 00:06:51,860, Character said: That's been a topic of discussion in the
chat room for quite some time.

94
At 00:06:58,920, Character said: So do they call? Yeah, and they're being
real jerks. They won't take our names

95
At 00:07:02,360, Character said: off the internet.

96
At 00:07:03,280, Character said: Oh, boo -hoo, you people think you've
g***t it bad.

97
At 00:07:06,190, Character said: They're saying I'm the number one web
pervert in all of Cleveland. How do you

98
At 00:07:09,950, Character said: think I feel?

99
At 00:07:11,650, Character said: Always looking over my shoulder,
wondering what young punk's going to

100
At 00:07:15,310, Character said: behind me and knock me off my throne.

101
At 00:07:19,010, Character said: I guess this explains why none of our
little darlings have a wife or a family.

102
At 00:07:24,890, Character said: If you're spending hours on the naughty
internet, you don't have time to find a

103
At 00:07:30,330, Character said: really nice girl.

104
At 00:07:38,160, Character said: We should concentrate on the children.

105
At 00:07:40,100, Character said: Now, they're good kids, but we've g***t to
get them back on the right path, and I

106
At 00:07:44,520, Character said: have a plan.

107
At 00:07:46,060, Character said: They can't do this to us. It's g***t to be
illegal.

108
At 00:07:48,620, Character said: There's only one way to find out. Just
sue them.

109
At 00:07:51,120, Character said: You just can't take that I'm number one,
can you?

110
At 00:07:57,820, Character said: Children, we've been talking, and we've
decided you're on a bad path.

111
At 00:08:02,160, Character said: You need our help.

112
At 00:08:03,660, Character said: Uh, what exactly do you mean by that?

113
At 00:08:07,120, Character said: We're moving in with you.

114
At 00:08:11,880, Character said: Dibs on Kate's mom.

115
At 00:09:06,510, Character said: for my beard.

116
At 00:09:08,190, Character said: My legal erotica!

117
At 00:09:11,590, Character said: You're burning my lady!

118
At 00:09:13,090, Character said: Yes, but I saved that purple jumpsuit I
gave you. And now that you're on soy

119
At 00:09:19,230, Character said: milk, I bet we'll get you back into it.

120
At 00:09:23,130, Character said: Oh, we saw the smoke. What's going on
here?

121
At 00:09:25,470, Character said: I'm burning Bruce Smut.

122
At 00:09:27,350, Character said: Oh, for God's sakes. If he wants to look
at a magazine, let him look.

123
At 00:09:31,570, Character said: At least he's not out stabbing
prostitutes.

124
At 00:09:34,540, Character said: Like my sister's boy.

125
At 00:09:38,360, Character said: Yeah, Mom, I'm not out stabbing
prostitutes.

126
At 00:09:42,560, Character said: I'm just doing this for your own good.

127
At 00:09:44,980, Character said: Now, why can't you be like your brother
here?

128
At 00:09:47,920, Character said: Beautiful child.

129
At 00:09:50,360, Character said: Interesting wife.

130
At 00:09:52,320, Character said: Yeah, don't...