The Drew Carey Show s07e24 What Women Dont Want Subtitles

00:00:03,760 --> 00:00:04,Hi, I'm Lewitt.

00:00:05,720 --> 00:00:08,I have to say you have the most
beautiful eyes I've ever seen.

00:00:09,800 --> 00:00:11,Hi, I'm Susan.

00:00:11,520 --> 00:00:12,Oh, hi.

00:00:12,200 --> 00:00:13,Live around here?

00:00:13,320 --> 00:00:14,Actually, I'm from Seattle.

00:00:14,760 --> 00:00:15,Oh, Seattle.

00:00:15,760 --> 00:00:16,Nice city.

00:00:16,960 --> 00:00:19,I read a book about a serial killer in
Seattle.

00:00:20,200 --> 00:00:22,I read a lot of books about serial
killers.

00:00:22,720 --> 00:00:26,You know, most serial killers get caught
because they boast about their crimes.

00:00:27,840 --> 00:00:29,It's not a mistake I'd make.

00:00:31,710 --> 00:00:33,So where exactly do you live?

00:00:39,110 --> 00:00:40,Well, that's it.

00:00:40,030 --> 00:00:42,I'm never going to get a date for this
wedding tomorrow night.

00:00:42,650 --> 00:00:44,Sounds like a special occasion. Why
don't you bring a hooker?

00:00:49,030 --> 00:00:51,You don't get it. It's not just a
wedding. It's Denise's wedding.

00:00:52,270 --> 00:00:52,Oh, Denise.

00:00:52,950 --> 00:00:55,Didn't you go out with her for like two
weeks? Yeah, longest relationship I've

00:00:55,950 --> 00:00:56,ever had.

00:00:57,190 --> 00:01:00,When we broke up, she said I'd never get
a good job and I'd spend the rest of my

00:01:00,290 --> 00:01:01,life alone.

00:01:01,340 --> 00:01:03,So what? That was under your yearbook
picture.

00:01:05,160 --> 00:01:07,Yeah, but if I show up at the wedding
alone tomorrow, it's going to prove that

00:01:07,660 --> 00:01:08,everything she said was right.

00:01:08,880 --> 00:01:09,Oh, don't worry, man.

00:01:10,140 --> 00:01:12,We'll get you a date. I guess ten
minutes before the bar closes.

00:01:13,500 --> 00:01:15,You really think you can get me a date
with one of these women?

00:01:15,920 --> 00:01:16,I guarantee it.

00:01:20,600 --> 00:01:21,And we have an early leader.

00:01:30,890 --> 00:01:35,All this energy calling me back where it
comes from.

00:01:36,510 --> 00:01:38,It's such a crude attitude.

00:01:39,730 --> 00:01:41,It's back where it belongs.

00:01:42,630 --> 00:01:49,All the little chicks with the crimson
lips go Cleveland Rocks! Cleveland

00:01:49,590 --> 00:01:54,Living in sin with a safety pin goes
Cleveland Rocks!

00:02:05,290 --> 00:02:07,I appreciate you guys helping me, but
I've been trying to get a date for this

00:02:07,290 --> 00:02:08,wedding for three weeks.

00:02:08,729 --> 00:02:13,I don't want to hear talk like that.
You're a great guy, and any one of these

00:02:13,210 --> 00:02:16,lonely, aging alcoholics will be lucky
to have you.

00:02:17,650 --> 00:02:18,You think she can do it?

00:02:19,310 --> 00:02:22,Well, she certainly knows all the pickup
lines that worked on her in bars.

00:02:23,630 --> 00:02:24,Hi!

00:02:28,710 --> 00:02:30,Excuse me, may I talk to you for a
second?

00:02:31,310 --> 00:02:32,I guess.

00:02:32,710 --> 00:02:33,My name's Kate.

00:02:34,630 --> 00:02:38,And this is kind of awkward because I've
never done something like this before.

00:02:38,750 --> 00:02:39,Uh -huh.

00:02:41,330 --> 00:02:47,I have a friend who doesn't have that
much experience with women, but you're

00:02:47,230 --> 00:02:51,very attractive, and I think you and my
friend would really hit it off.

00:02:51,810 --> 00:02:52,I see.

00:02:53,290 --> 00:02:57,You know, I had a friend who had
difficulty asking women out, too.

00:02:59,350 --> 00:03:01,Good, so you know how awkward this is.

00:03:02,030 --> 00:03:03,I absolutely do.

00:03:06,680 --> 00:03:07,Well, good.

00:03:08,280 --> 00:03:12,So, um, can I tell my friend you'd like
to go out? Well, first, why don't you

00:03:12,940 --> 00:03:15,tell me a little something about your
friend?

00:03:18,040 --> 00:03:21,Look where we are.

00:03:25,800 --> 00:03:26,Oh.

00:03:27,640 --> 00:03:28,How'd we get here?

00:03:30,280 --> 00:03:32,I don't think she's helping you here.

00:03:34,440 --> 00:03:35,It ain't hurting.

00:03:38,420 --> 00:03:40,There's been a small mistake.

00:03:40,820 --> 00:03:44,I really was trying to set you up with
my friend over there.

00:03:48,160 --> 00:03:49,Oh, goodness.

00:03:49,760 --> 00:03:53,I'm sorry. This is a little bit
embarrassing. No, no, no. It's okay. I

00:03:53,860 --> 00:03:55,you weren't already gay, you would have
been after you went out with him.

00:03:58,640 --> 00:04:02,Look, I really do find you attractive,
so if you ever want to go out or

00:04:02,940 --> 00:04:04,something... My name's Beverly.

00:04:05,080 --> 00:04:06,Oh, I really don't think so.

00:04:07,180 --> 00:04:08,Dr. Beverly Johnson.

00:04:10,920 --> 00:04:14,Well, I guess it couldn't hurt to keep
this. I mean, I learned to like tofu.

00:04:19,860 --> 00:04:21,Oh, I'm so sorry, Lewis.

00:04:21,720 --> 00:04:22,Oh, man.

00:04:23,240 --> 00:04:24,Don't worry, buddy. I won't let you
down.

00:04:25,580 --> 00:04:26,I'm going to try her.

00:04:27,460 --> 00:04:30,Man, I hope he finds someone. When they
RSVP'd for the wedding, I might have

00:04:30,340 --> 00:04:31,exaggerated about a few things.

00:04:32,420 --> 00:04:33,Well, that's only natural.

00:04:33,920 --> 00:04:35,I told him I was one of the X -Men.

00:04:37,640 --> 00:04:38,What? You said you were in that movie?

00:04:39,240 --> 00:04:42,No. I told him I was the supernatural
demigod who depends the Earth.

00:04:43,820 --> 00:04:46,My friend right over there. He's the
nicest guy you'd ever want to meet, but

00:04:46,520 --> 00:04:47,rattling on. What's your name?

00:04:52,300 --> 00:04:53,That's a really long name.

00:04:55,360 --> 00:04:56,Do you mind if I just call you Ja?

00:04:58,260 --> 00:04:59,No, English.

00:05:00,040 --> 00:05:01,I, Russian.

00:05:02,200 --> 00:05:03,Oh.

00:05:03,480 --> 00:05:06,Oh, so you don't know what American men
are supposed to be like.

00:05:09,460 --> 00:05:10,That's good.

00:05:12,060 --> 00:05:17,All right, now how can I explain this to
you? My friend needs

00:05:17,680 --> 00:05:19,girl.

00:05:22,800 --> 00:05:24,What is he doing?

00:05:27,140 --> 00:05:30,I think he's doing Bugs Bunny doing Mae
West.

00:05:33,360 --> 00:05:36,He needs a date to a wedding, to a...

00:05:36,660 --> 00:05:43,It's

00:05:43,660 --> 00:05:44,me!

00:05:45,900 --> 00:05:47,Oh, yeah!

00:05:47,260 --> 00:05:48,Yes,

00:05:48,720 --> 00:05:51,yes, yes. Come over here, quick! Come
on!

00:06:00,780 --> 00:06:02,Hey, Lewis, this is Yaya. This is Lewis.

00:06:03,300 --> 00:06:05,Hi. You asked?

00:06:07,920 --> 00:06:08,Oh,

00:06:09,240 --> 00:06:13,I, Marie, you asked for green card.

00:06:16,300 --> 00:06:17,Marry me. No, no, no.

00:06:17,900 --> 00:06:19,I'm sorry. I can't help you get a green
card.

00:06:20,380 --> 00:06:23,Oh, well. I guess I'll be back stripping
by the airport.

00:06:25,640 --> 00:06:26,Are you ready? Absolutely.

00:06:27,260 --> 00:06:30,The end of the summer with the best
movie of the summer.

00:06:31,020 --> 00:06:33,Ebert and Roper give the Italian job two
thumbs up.

00:06:34,520 --> 00:06:37,Mark Wahlberg, Charlize Theron, Edward
Norton. The Italian job.

00:06:38,060 --> 00:06:39,Rated PG -13.

00:06:39,140 --> 00:06:40,See it again at theaters tomorrow.

00:06:44,800 --> 00:06:45,What's going on, buddy?

00:06:45,820 --> 00:06:46,I'll find somebody for you.

00:06:47,380 --> 00:06:50,Hi. Excuse me. Sorry to bother you, but
a friend of mine is looking for a date.

00:06:50,780 --> 00:06:52,You seem really nice. Hi. Drew Carey is
the name.

00:06:54,090 --> 00:06:56,Drew Carey, the one who used to live on
Sedgwick Street?

00:06:56,510 --> 00:06:57,Yeah, I still do.

00:06:57,610 --> 00:06:59,I'm Heather Thompson from across the
street.

00:07:00,590 --> 00:07:02,You guys go ahead. I'll catch up with
you later.

00:07:03,590 --> 00:07:06,Heather! Oh, my God. I haven't seen you
since we were about five.

00:07:07,410 --> 00:07:12,You know, the last time I saw you, the
babysitter was giving us a bath

00:07:12,490 --> 00:07:13,Oh.

00:07:13,810 --> 00:07:17,I don't know if you remember this, but
the first time I saw you n***d when we

00:07:17,510 --> 00:07:21,were three years old, I told my dad I
thought somebody had cut your thing off.

00:07:25,640 --> 00:07:28,And he told me that's what they did to
the boys who didn't clean their room.

00:07:30,920 --> 00:07:33,So to this day, you can just eat off my
bedroom floor.

00:07:36,080 --> 00:07:37,It was great to see you again.

00:07:37,840 --> 00:07:39,Yeah. So, um, which one's your friend?

00:07:41,700 --> 00:07:42,Okay, here goes.

00:07:43,800 --> 00:07:45,It's that guy right there.

00:07:45,780 --> 00:07:47,He's kind of cute. Lewis, get over here,
quick!

00:07:49,159 --> 00:07:50,Heather, my childhood friend, Lewis.

00:07:50,980 --> 00:07:51,Nice to meet you.

00:07:52,100 --> 00:07:54,Here's the deal. My ex -girlfriend's
getting married tomorrow. If I go alone,

00:07:54,820 -->...