In Sickness And In Health s05e08.eng Subtitles

00:00:05,220 --> 00:00:10,Now, my old darling, they've laid her
down to rest, and now I'm missing her

00:00:10,320 --> 00:00:11,all the art.

00:00:12,080 --> 00:00:16,But they don't give a monkey's down at
the age of death, and they call it I'll

00:00:16,980 --> 00:00:18,be pension for a start.

00:00:19,860 --> 00:00:24,No, it won't be very long before I'm
quite a sign, but I'll probably starve

00:00:24,620 --> 00:00:25,death, that's what I'll do.

00:00:26,800 --> 00:00:31,But richer or poorer, I'm bloody poor,
that's a fact, just because in sickness

00:00:31,380 --> 00:00:33,than in health, but I'll do.

00:00:47,369 --> 00:00:48,Four hourly.

00:00:48,590 --> 00:00:52,Oi, oi, oi, just a minute, just a
minute. I was in fact at home.

00:00:52,490 --> 00:00:53,I was queuing for them.

00:00:54,270 --> 00:00:57,You can't queue for other people, my
dear. You only queue for yourself.

00:00:57,830 --> 00:00:58,We always do it.

00:00:58,881 --> 00:01:02,I queue for them, and they queue for me.
And I queue for me, and I was in front

00:01:02,850 --> 00:01:03,of them.

00:01:03,530 --> 00:01:05,Tell him, Fred. We always do it, don't
we?

00:01:05,581 --> 00:01:08,We'll have to catch the next one, mate.
I've only g***t room for four, and these

00:01:08,610 --> 00:01:09,girls are in front of you.

00:01:09,830 --> 00:01:11,Girls? Girls?

00:01:11,370 --> 00:01:12,Oh, blimey.

00:01:12,770 --> 00:01:14,Two years since she was a girl.

00:01:14,790 --> 00:01:15,Any of them.

00:01:17,030 --> 00:01:19,Sorry, Maisie. Look, I've g***t to take
him.

00:01:19,350 --> 00:01:22,I can take three of you. It's all right,
Fred. We'll wait for the next bus.

00:01:22,890 --> 00:01:24,We want to stay together.

00:01:27,741 --> 00:01:29,Where you going?

00:01:29,730 --> 00:01:32,You better have the exact money, cos
I've g***t no change.

00:01:32,530 --> 00:01:34,I don't need money, do I? I've g***t a bus
pass.

00:01:34,830 --> 00:01:35,Well, hurry up, then.

00:01:35,950 --> 00:01:37,Wait a minute.

00:01:39,110 --> 00:01:43,Maisie! Look, wait a minute, will you?
I've g***t a bus pass here. Where is it?

00:01:43,850 --> 00:01:45,I'll bloody find it.

00:01:45,410 --> 00:01:46,But, look, I'm entitled!

00:01:46,890 --> 00:01:47,Anyone can say that.

00:01:48,190 --> 00:01:50,No, you can see I'm entitled, can't you?

00:01:50,930 --> 00:01:53,You see I'm old, can't you? What do you
want, glasses?

00:01:53,641 --> 00:01:57,Oh, Blimey, if your eyes are that bad,
you can't see that I'm in touch with a

00:01:57,490 --> 00:01:58,bus pass.

00:01:58,250 --> 00:02:00,You shouldn't be driving a bus in the
first place. Come on, go.

00:02:00,910 --> 00:02:02,No, I'm not getting off.

00:02:02,370 --> 00:02:04,I'm not... Are you going to phone me
off? Are you?

00:02:05,490 --> 00:02:06,No.

00:02:09,590 --> 00:02:13,Look, at the labour exchange, they can
tell I'm too old for a job easy enough.

00:02:13,890 --> 00:02:16,So why can't you tell I'm too old to pay
on a bus, eh?

00:02:17,590 --> 00:02:19,They're not bus passes, do you? No.

00:02:19,271 --> 00:02:22,You've g***t the cash, don't you? So you
work your own little fiddle.

00:02:22,890 --> 00:02:24,Bit for the company, bit for you.

00:02:24,850 --> 00:02:26,It's your game, I know.

00:02:26,810 --> 00:02:29,I've known a few bus conductors in my
time.

00:02:29,990 --> 00:02:31,Making a fortune, they are.

00:02:31,730 --> 00:02:34,Some of the ticket collectors on the
train. All them excess fares.

00:02:35,270 --> 00:02:37,Stay in their own pocket, innit? I know.

00:02:38,510 --> 00:02:40,I'm not green, mate. I wasn't born
yesterday.

00:02:41,190 --> 00:02:43,I've seen the big houses you lot live
in.

00:02:43,611 --> 00:02:47,That's why there's only the one of you,
innit? Hey, you g***t greedy. Didn't want

00:02:47,960 --> 00:02:49,to share it with your mate, did you? No.

00:02:50,660 --> 00:02:53,Little perks, a lot of you. Are you
getting off this bus? No.

00:02:58,400 --> 00:02:59,Morning, you.

00:03:00,300 --> 00:03:01,Morning.

00:03:02,160 --> 00:03:03,Come on, over here, mate.

00:03:42,101 --> 00:03:44,It's you.

00:03:44,070 --> 00:03:45,Yes, mate.

00:03:45,710 --> 00:03:46,It's me.

00:03:48,090 --> 00:03:50,And I've g***t my bus pass, haven't I?

00:03:52,070 --> 00:03:54,We've all g***t our bus passes.

00:03:55,730 --> 00:03:56,Come on, everyone.

00:03:57,110 --> 00:03:59,Show the nice, kind bus driver your bus
pass.

00:04:22,120 --> 00:04:23,Just giving them a run out.

00:04:23,480 --> 00:04:24,Run out?

00:04:24,700 --> 00:04:28,They want to go somewhere, you know.
They just don't want to sit on a bus.

00:04:28,241 --> 00:04:32,I'm just taking them for a blow, they
call it. Give them a breath of fresh

00:04:32,060 --> 00:04:33,Put that pipe out for a start.

00:04:33,860 --> 00:04:35,Why? It's not a tube.

00:04:35,700 --> 00:04:39,They don't want to go somewhere. They
will. They will go somewhere.

00:04:40,320 --> 00:04:42,Where's this bus going, mate? Moorlake.

00:04:42,380 --> 00:04:43,Oh, that'll do us.

00:04:43,501 --> 00:04:45,Moorlake, everyone, all right?

00:04:45,380 --> 00:04:46,Yeah?

00:04:47,220 --> 00:04:48,Has he g***t a beach?

00:04:49,680 --> 00:04:50,Is that OK?

00:04:51,230 --> 00:04:52,Yes, it's at the Lake District.

00:04:53,170 --> 00:04:55,South End. Tell him you're going to
South End.

00:04:55,910 --> 00:04:59,South End's not Lake District. We always
trip to South End.

00:05:00,930 --> 00:05:03,You won't get all them wheelchairs on
here. That's all right.

00:05:04,130 --> 00:05:05,There's no room.

00:05:05,181 --> 00:05:08,Well, there should be room, mate. It's a
big bus. There should be plenty of

00:05:08,290 --> 00:05:11,room. One or two of them wheelchairs I
can take.

00:05:11,310 --> 00:05:12,That's all I can take on here.

00:05:13,150 --> 00:05:14,That's not fair to us.

00:05:14,990 --> 00:05:16,Look, I don't make the rules.

00:05:16,451 --> 00:05:17,Oh, yeah.

00:05:17,710 --> 00:05:20,That's what they said at Nuremberg,
mate. All them Nazis.

00:05:20,450 --> 00:05:22,What are you talking about, Nazis?

00:05:22,110 --> 00:05:24,They called me a bloody communist down
at that boat.

00:05:24,590 --> 00:05:28,Well, you're not behaving like a
communist. If you was a communist, mate,

00:05:28,690 --> 00:05:30,want to share your bus with us.

00:05:30,970 --> 00:05:32,Perestroika. Glasnost.

00:05:32,111 --> 00:05:35,Everyone will have their own bus out
there soon.

00:05:35,310 --> 00:05:36,Good. Good.

00:05:36,361 --> 00:05:40,Then we won't have to stand around in
the rain for hours waiting for your

00:05:40,250 --> 00:05:41,lot, will we? Oh, yeah.

00:05:41,431 --> 00:05:45,Primatised a bussy day. One of them, are
you? Oh, we was a bloody sight better

00:05:45,810 --> 00:05:49,off before your lot nationalised them,
weren't we? Oh, blimey. In them days,

00:05:49,950 --> 00:05:55,you'd go up west, have a skimful, bowl
of jelly deals, bottle of whiskey on the

00:05:55,810 --> 00:06:00,bus coming home, see the quack in the
morning, and it still cost you less than

00:06:00,370 --> 00:06:02,bus fare up the corner, wouldn't it
today?

00:06:02,330 --> 00:06:05,You'd get an all -day ticket for a penny
then.

00:06:05,271 --> 00:06:07,Why, if they had horses, probably then.

00:06:07,590 --> 00:06:10,And they was a bloody sight faster than
your lot.

00:06:11,820 --> 00:06:13,Look, just a minute. No more
wheelchairs.

00:06:14,180 --> 00:06:15,Sorry. Look,

00:06:17,340 --> 00:06:19,mate, we're a party here.

00:06:19,340 --> 00:06:23,All for one and one for all. All for one
and one for all.

00:06:25,320 --> 00:06:30,Just a minute. You're not bringing that
on here.

00:06:30,820 --> 00:06:33,Look, I paid him for that. That's the
key.

00:06:33,420 --> 00:06:35,You tell him I can't have it on here.

00:06:35,420 --> 00:06:37,All for one and one for all.

00:06:37,980 --> 00:06:41,Look, mate, this is not a private bus.
This is public transport.

00:06:41,660 --> 00:06:46,This is the public and we have g***t our
constitutional right. Not to drink on my

00:06:46,380 --> 00:06:49,bus, you ain't. You want to drink on a
bus, you've g***t to hire one.

00:06:49,460 --> 00:06:50,How can I hire a bus?

00:06:50,561 --> 00:06:51,You said you're a party?

00:06:51,900 --> 00:06:52,A poor party.

00:06:53,240 --> 00:06:54,Then hire a cheap bus.

00:06:54,900 --> 00:06:57,Because if you're a party, mate, you
have to hire your own bus.

00:06:57,980 --> 00:06:59,Because this...