family_matters_s04e09_the_oddest_couple Subtitles

00:00:05,960 --> 00:00:08,Please, Steve. No more farm animal
impressions.

00:00:09,300 --> 00:00:12,Okay, sugar pants. I'll find somebody
else to entertain.

00:00:16,140 --> 00:00:17,Hi, big guy.

00:00:18,860 --> 00:00:19,Hello, Steve.

00:00:20,400 --> 00:00:23,Hey, want to hear my impression of a
chicken yodeling? No.

00:00:31,040 --> 00:00:33,I'm warning you, Steve. I'm in no mood
for this.

00:00:33,480 --> 00:00:34,Okay, pause the hombre grande.

00:00:36,810 --> 00:00:39,Eddie is an hour past his curfew, and
it's a school night.

00:00:40,590 --> 00:00:44,Oh, well, I don't blame you for being
perturbed. Why, my father always says

00:00:44,330 --> 00:00:45,curfews are like prostate exams.

00:00:48,090 --> 00:00:49,Unpleasant, but necessary.

00:00:51,050 --> 00:00:52,Do you have a curfew?

00:00:52,650 --> 00:00:57,Oh, my, yes. Why, my curfew is written
in stone and strictly enforced by both

00:00:57,910 --> 00:00:58,my parents.

00:01:00,450 --> 00:01:01,Oh, good, it's midnight.

00:01:02,110 --> 00:01:03,I'm allowed to...

00:01:16,970 --> 00:01:23,It's a rare condition, this day and age,
to read any good news on the newspaper

00:01:23,250 --> 00:01:29,page. And love and tradition of the
grand design, some people say, is even

00:01:29,550 --> 00:01:30,harder to find.

00:01:31,890 --> 00:01:37,Well, then there must be some magic clue
inside these gentle walls.

00:01:39,090 --> 00:01:45,Cause all I see is a tower of dreams,
real love bursting out of every scene.

00:01:51,360 --> 00:01:54,It's the bigger love of the family.

00:02:05,420 --> 00:02:07,Come on, Eddie, I'm hungry. Give me a
sandwich.

00:02:09,080 --> 00:02:10,No, Waldo, I can't.

00:02:11,180 --> 00:02:12,Hey, wait a minute. Why are we
whispering?

00:02:12,860 --> 00:02:13,I'm late.

00:02:13,640 --> 00:02:14,Don't you have a curfew?

00:02:14,760 --> 00:02:17,Nah, I'm lucky. My parents don't care
about me.

00:02:19,280 --> 00:02:20,What about you, Waldo? You g***t a curfew?

00:02:21,860 --> 00:02:22,No.

00:02:24,060 --> 00:02:25,But I had a hamster once.

00:02:27,840 --> 00:02:28,Edward!

00:02:34,180 --> 00:02:35,Hi, Dad.

00:02:35,280 --> 00:02:38,Sorry we woke you. We've been hanging
out down here since 1058.

00:02:39,660 --> 00:02:40,Oh, really?

00:02:40,400 --> 00:02:42,Yeah. No, we weren't. We just g***t here.

00:02:45,880 --> 00:02:48,Thank you, Waldo. No problem, Bob.

00:02:50,700 --> 00:02:51,You're in big trouble, mister.

00:02:52,140 --> 00:02:53,Major trouble.

00:02:53,140 --> 00:02:57,Um, um, excuse me, but in Edward's
defense, Mr. Winslow, it's my fault that

00:02:57,380 --> 00:02:58,violated his curfew. Oh?

00:02:59,340 --> 00:03:02,See, he completely lost track of time
watching me moon meter maids.

00:03:06,100 --> 00:03:08,Say goodnight to your little friends,
Edward. I'll be over on the couch making

00:03:08,980 --> 00:03:09,out your will.

00:03:22,890 --> 00:03:23,is 11 o 'clock.

00:03:24,270 --> 00:03:28,Not 11 .30, not 11 .45, and certainly
not 12 .22.

00:03:28,950 --> 00:03:29,Oh, come on, Dad.

00:03:29,870 --> 00:03:33,I'm a senior in high school, and 11 o
'clock curfew is ridiculous.

00:03:34,210 --> 00:03:35,Well, maybe you're right.

00:03:36,010 --> 00:03:38,Let's say we change it to 10 .30.

00:03:39,190 --> 00:03:41,Come on, Dad. I gotta have a social
life.

00:03:42,570 --> 00:03:43,Social life?

00:03:44,050 --> 00:03:46,You call mooning meter maids a social
life?

00:03:48,770 --> 00:03:52,I didn't do that. I would never do a
thing like that.

00:03:56,590 --> 00:04:00,Edward, it is completely inappropriate
behavior, and I don't want you

00:04:00,730 --> 00:04:03,with it in any way. Now go to your room,
young man.

00:04:03,550 --> 00:04:06,You treat me like a little kid, Dad, and
you embarrass me in front of my

00:04:06,750 --> 00:04:08,friends. Oh, well, pardon me.

00:04:10,430 --> 00:04:14,I'm sorry that I embarrassed you in
front of a guy named Weasel.

00:04:26,090 --> 00:04:27,That's what's going on. What?

00:04:27,630 --> 00:04:31,You heard me. You were grounded for one
month, Edward. A month? Just for being

00:04:31,150 --> 00:04:32,late? That and your snotty attitude.

00:04:33,210 --> 00:04:34,Mom, say something.

00:04:34,590 --> 00:04:37,I want both of you to just calm down.
Oh, sure. Take his side.

00:04:40,870 --> 00:04:42,Edward, you messed up.

00:04:42,890 --> 00:04:44,And you're going to have to suffer the
consequences.

00:04:45,090 --> 00:04:48,Oh, man, all you ever do is nag me,
criticize me, and put me down.

00:04:48,650 --> 00:04:51,Well, I'm sick and tired of it, Dad, and
I'm not going to take it anymore.

00:04:51,730 --> 00:04:52,Oh, yes, you are.

00:04:53,010 --> 00:04:55,You may not like it, but you're going to
have to take it.

00:04:55,530 --> 00:04:56,Oh, no, I don't.

00:04:56,830 --> 00:04:57,Excuse me?

00:04:58,510 --> 00:04:59,I'm moving out.

00:04:59,690 --> 00:05:00,Edward, you don't mean that.

00:05:00,850 --> 00:05:03,Oh, yes, I do. Edward, you are not going
anywhere.

00:05:03,650 --> 00:05:06,Oh, yes, I **. I can't wait to get out
of this prison.

00:05:13,410 --> 00:05:15,Eddie, are you still upset with your
father?

00:05:16,410 --> 00:05:17,Yes, Grandma.

00:05:17,550 --> 00:05:19,I mean, he's just being totally
unreasonable.

00:05:20,230 --> 00:05:22,I can't wait to find my own apartment.

00:05:22,670 --> 00:05:24,Now, Eddie, I know you're frustrated.

00:05:25,050 --> 00:05:26,But this is your father's house.

00:05:27,150 --> 00:05:29,And he's g***t a lot of rules and
regulations.

00:05:30,250 --> 00:05:32,But there's one thing you've g***t to
admit.

00:05:32,970 --> 00:05:33,What's that?

00:05:33,950 --> 00:05:35,You can't beat the rent.

00:05:39,650 --> 00:05:40,She's right, you know.

00:05:41,830 --> 00:05:44,You can't find a studio apartment for
under $400 a month.

00:05:44,990 --> 00:05:46,One bedroom started at $5 .25.

00:05:47,650 --> 00:05:49,How come you know so much about
apartment prices?

00:05:51,440 --> 00:05:54,I think about getting my own place every
time Steve drops by.

00:05:56,420 --> 00:05:58,I'm absolutely panicked.

00:06:03,240 --> 00:06:04,Well, what's the matter?

00:06:04,820 --> 00:06:08,My father has forbidden me from doing
any...

00:06:26,820 --> 00:06:27,Sounds like a winner.

00:06:27,940 --> 00:06:28,Oh, it is.

00:06:29,440 --> 00:06:32,Why, you could wipe out a platoon with a
single meatloaf.

00:06:34,420 --> 00:06:36,Anywho, I stored some egg grenades in
the fridge.

00:06:37,260 --> 00:06:40,Dad went to make himself an omelet and
blew himself into the garage.

00:06:56,590 --> 00:06:57,What are you going to do?

00:06:57,290 --> 00:06:59,I'm getting a place of my own.

00:06:59,490 --> 00:07:02,We'll see how cocky he is when he stops
getting my rent check every month.

00:07:04,730 --> 00:07:08,From now on, this puppy's going to be a
lone wolf.

00:07:10,610 --> 00:07:11,Yeah.

00:07:11,930 --> 00:07:13,A lone wolf.

00:07:14,350 --> 00:07:15,A lone...

00:07:15,330 --> 00:07:21,Steve.

00:07:29,390 --> 00:07:31,I've also been thinking of leaving the
nest.

00:07:32,910 --> 00:07:35,You mean we could be roomies?

00:07:35,650 --> 00:07:36,Why not?

00:07:36,430 --> 00:07:39,If we combined our cash, we could get a
really fresh pad.

00:07:40,430 --> 00:07:43,Gosh, Shadow, I can only afford about
$300 a month.

00:07:44,230 --> 00:07:47,Oh, no problem. I mean, we'll just look
for something in the $310 to $320 range.

00:07:53,190 --> 00:07:54,Yeah,

00:07:57,070 --> 00:08:00,this apartment hasn't been rented for...
quite some time, we've been waiting for

00:08:00,620 --> 00:08:03,just the right tenants to come along.

00:08:03,620 --> 00:08:05,Oh, I see. You guys are perfect.

00:08:05,660 --> 00:08:06,Sign here? Sure.

00:08:07,100 --> 00:08:08,Hold it, hold it.

00:08:08,960 --> 00:08:11,Perhaps we should see the apartment
first.

00:08:11,920 --> 00:08:15,Well, I guess we could do it that way.

00:08:15,560 --> 00:08:16,Here we go.

00:08:19,100 --> 00:08:20,So, nice, huh?

00:08:21,420 --> 00:08:25,$325 a month. I need first month, last
month, and a security deposit.

00:08:25,920 --> 00:08:28,Well, we only have enough for first
month.

00:08:28,570 --> 00:08:29,Deal. Sign here.

00:08:30,950 --> 00:08:32,Not so fast.

00:08:33,590 --> 00:08:38,I assume if anything goes wrong with the
apartment, you will handle the

00:08:38,230 --> 00:08:39,situation personally?

00:08:40,710 --> 00:08:45,550...