Ellen s02e01 the dentist Subtitles

00:00:12,140 --> 00:00:13,Hi.

00:00:14,660 --> 00:00:16,Hi. God, I've had the worst day.

00:00:16,900 --> 00:00:20,My alarm didn't go off. Now I'm late for
the most important job interview of my

00:00:20,140 --> 00:00:21,life. Ah.

00:00:21,620 --> 00:00:23,Is there a run in my stocking? No.

00:00:23,920 --> 00:00:28,Oh, you have a thread on your dress
right there. Oh, um, could you get it

00:00:28,040 --> 00:00:29,me? Sure. Okay.

00:00:31,450 --> 00:00:32,Thanks. Oh.

00:00:34,450 --> 00:00:36,Did you get it okay? Yeah, I g***t it. I
g***t it. Okay.

00:00:38,610 --> 00:00:39,Good luck on the interview.

00:00:40,010 --> 00:00:41,Thanks.

00:00:46,750 --> 00:00:51,So, I figured, you know, I have next to
no money in the bank, zero credit, $
00:00:51,070 --> 00:00:55,,000 left on a college loan. I know.
What I should really do is buy a

00:00:56,170 --> 00:00:58,Well, you always said that you were
going to be your own boss someday.

00:00:58,970 --> 00:01:00,And now I **.

00:01:00,840 --> 00:01:02,I'm also my own employee.

00:01:02,460 --> 00:01:04,You should see me s***k up to myself.

00:01:05,440 --> 00:01:06,It's hard, but I do.

00:01:08,040 --> 00:01:09,How about another round of beers?

00:01:09,520 --> 00:01:10,Sounds great. Yep.

00:01:12,360 --> 00:01:14,Ew, someone is kissing Adam.

00:01:16,700 --> 00:01:18,Seriously, you guys seem really great
together.

00:01:18,860 --> 00:01:19,Thank you.

00:01:20,460 --> 00:01:21,Isn't there someone else you should be
thanking?

00:01:22,900 --> 00:01:23,Yes, Ellen.

00:01:23,800 --> 00:01:24,Thanks.

00:01:24,960 --> 00:01:28,Thanks again. For the millionth time,
thank you for setting us up. Oh, please.

00:01:28,980 --> 00:01:29,Come on.

00:01:30,120 --> 00:01:32,I mean, your happiness is all the thanks
that I need.

00:01:32,880 --> 00:01:33,Hey, cutie.

00:01:33,700 --> 00:01:34,Can I get you anything?

00:01:34,780 --> 00:01:36,Oh, thanks. My girlfriend just went up
to the bar.

00:01:36,980 --> 00:01:39,Girlfriend? How come the good ones are
always taken?

00:01:43,460 --> 00:01:45,I believe that waitress was flirting
with you.

00:01:45,800 --> 00:01:46,Really?

00:01:47,320 --> 00:01:48,No, she was. Seriously.

00:01:49,560 --> 00:01:52,Actually, it's weird because I've
noticed that lately you're...

00:01:53,690 --> 00:01:54,Almost attractive.

00:01:55,970 --> 00:01:56,Really?

00:01:57,410 --> 00:01:58,Almost attractive?

00:01:59,510 --> 00:02:00,Wow.

00:02:01,250 --> 00:02:04,Well, Adam, the reason that you're more
attractive lately is because you're

00:02:04,470 --> 00:02:07,happier and more confident. The reason
that you're happier and more confident

00:02:07,610 --> 00:02:11,because you're dating Joanna. And the
reason you're dating Joanna... Thank

00:02:11,450 --> 00:02:12,Ellen. Stop!

00:02:14,370 --> 00:02:17,Sorry to take so long. Thank you.

00:02:17,610 --> 00:02:18,Did you miss me?

00:02:18,750 --> 00:02:19,Terribly.

00:02:20,510 --> 00:02:23,All right, rack them up, Paige. Seven
more wins and we're even.

00:02:26,430 --> 00:02:27,Ow!

00:02:29,230 --> 00:02:30,What's wrong? Oh, nothing.

00:02:31,950 --> 00:02:34,Oh, just a little, uh... Uh -oh.

00:02:37,290 --> 00:02:40,That's a little huge, huge chip off my
tooth.

00:02:41,430 --> 00:02:42,Ellen, you've g***t to see a dentist.

00:02:43,110 --> 00:02:44,Oh, I don't have a dentist.

00:02:44,550 --> 00:02:46,Well, I'm going to set you up with mine
because he's great.

00:02:46,410 --> 00:02:48,Oh. And the added bonus is he's cute.

00:02:49,740 --> 00:02:50,Cute? Who cares about cute?

00:02:51,140 --> 00:02:52,I just want somebody to fix my tooth.

00:02:53,360 --> 00:02:54,How cute.

00:03:28,520 --> 00:03:29,Hi, Dave.

00:03:29,260 --> 00:03:31,Just Dave, not Dr. Ellis.

00:03:31,420 --> 00:03:32,No, no.

00:03:33,600 --> 00:03:35,It fell off. I saw it earlier.

00:03:37,500 --> 00:03:40,No, I never went in for doctor.

00:03:40,620 --> 00:03:41,Too formal for me.

00:03:41,860 --> 00:03:45,Well, I hope the actual study of
dentistry wasn't too formal for you.

00:03:46,720 --> 00:03:48,No, not to worry. I g***t my degree.

00:03:48,760 --> 00:03:49,No, I'm not worried.

00:03:50,140 --> 00:03:55,I mean, Paige told me what a great
dentist you are and how very undentist

00:03:55,040 --> 00:03:56,you are.

00:03:56,910 --> 00:03:57,I'll take that as a compliment?

00:03:58,290 --> 00:03:59,Whatever.

00:03:59,970 --> 00:04:03,All right, let's have a look at that
tooth, shall we?

00:04:05,290 --> 00:04:06,That's a very nice smile.

00:04:07,230 --> 00:04:08,Thank you.

00:04:08,530 --> 00:04:12,But I'd like to see that chipped tooth,
so let's open wide.

00:04:13,750 --> 00:04:15,Oh, come on, really, really wide.

00:04:18,990 --> 00:04:19,Helen,

00:04:21,250 --> 00:04:22,do you floss?

00:04:22,710 --> 00:04:24,Yes, I do, yes, religiously.

00:04:25,360 --> 00:04:26,Christmas, Easter, Rosh Hashanah.

00:04:29,320 --> 00:04:35,Well, you've g***t a little decay in
there. Now, I'd like to do some x -rays,

00:04:35,020 --> 00:04:39,then I'm going to have to clean it out
and put on a crown.

00:04:40,020 --> 00:04:44,Well... It'll probably take a couple of
visits.

00:04:45,220 --> 00:04:49,Oh, two visits. Aren't we rushing things
a little? I mean, shouldn't we just

00:04:49,320 --> 00:04:52,have that first visit and see how that
goes and take it from there?

00:04:55,600 --> 00:04:58,So, was that a cute dentist or was that
a cute dentist?

00:04:58,620 --> 00:05:01,Yeah, he is now my cutest health care
provider.

00:05:02,580 --> 00:05:04,So, are you going to ask him out?

00:05:04,900 --> 00:05:07,No. Are you crazy? He had his hands in
my mouth.

00:05:09,280 --> 00:05:13,Well, at least you broke the ice. I
mean, now it's easy. You can make a late

00:05:13,160 --> 00:05:16,afternoon appointment and then
afterwards maybe suggest going for a

00:05:16,980 --> 00:05:19,right. Yeah, sure. I mean, my mouth will
be numb.

00:05:19,880 --> 00:05:21,Wine will be dribbling down my chin.

00:05:22,500 --> 00:05:23,Yeah, that's a good look for me.

00:05:25,040 --> 00:05:28,Listen, I have to go, but I ** telling
you, life is way too short.

00:05:28,800 --> 00:05:29,Carpe dentist.

00:05:33,280 --> 00:05:34,Seize the dentist.

00:05:35,720 --> 00:05:37,Hey. Hi. Hi, how was the beach?

00:05:37,840 --> 00:05:39,Okay. Oh, it was so great.

00:05:41,120 --> 00:05:42,Listen, can I get some change for the
meter?

00:05:43,200 --> 00:05:44,Sorry, you'll have to buy something.

00:05:44,600 --> 00:05:47,Really? Yeah. Okay, I'll take a couple
of biscottis.

00:05:48,180 --> 00:05:49,Okay, that'll be a dollar even.

00:05:51,540 --> 00:05:53,Here, he does that all the time. Thanks.

00:05:53,820 --> 00:05:54,I'll be right back.

00:05:54,830 --> 00:05:57,Oh, Adam, tell her about Santa Barbara.
Okay.

00:05:58,030 --> 00:05:59,You going to Santa Barbara?

00:05:59,470 --> 00:06:00,I'm not going anywhere.

00:06:01,750 --> 00:06:04,Ellen, I'm going crazy. I can't take it
another minute.

00:06:04,790 --> 00:06:08,What? I'm completely stifled. If it's
not, let's play pool. Let's go to the

00:06:08,390 --> 00:06:10,beach. Let's go to Santa Barbara for the
weekend.

00:06:11,370 --> 00:06:13,Well, clearly the woman is a sadist.

00:06:15,230 --> 00:06:17,I want to be free to pursue other
options.

00:06:18,010 --> 00:06:19,What options?

00:06:19,310 --> 00:06:21,Before, Joanna, you spent your weekends
sorting laundry.

00:06:22,090 --> 00:06:23,Not anymore.

00:06:23,390 --> 00:06:27,Like... This woman at my photo lab, in
five years, she's never given me the

00:06:27,420 --> 00:06:28,of day.

00:06:28,300 --> 00:06:29,Until today.

00:06:29,880 --> 00:06:30,What'd she say?

00:06:30,880 --> 00:06:33,Well, she gave me the time.

00:06:34,100 --> 00:06:39,But it was the way she said it, kind of
like, I have the time for you, too bad

00:06:39,320 --> 00:06:42,you don't have the time for me because
you're stuck in a relationship.

00:06:44,780 --> 00:06:48,Were you sure she wasn't saying, I have
the time, but not enough time to call

00:06:48,880 --> 00:06:51,the men with the big butterfly nets to
haul you away?

00:06:53,770 --> 00:06:55,Why are you doing this? You wouldn't
understand.

00:06:55,830 --> 00:06:56,It's a guy thing.

00:06:57,870 --> 00:06:58,Adam's right.

00:06:59,670 --> 00:07:02,It is, in fact, the most primal of guy
things.

00:07:03,330 --> 00:07:08,Our survival instinct dictates that we
find as many mates as possible to ensure

00:07:08,070 --> 00:07:12,the propagation of our genes. That's
exactly it. I want to propagate my

00:07:13,330 --> 00:07:17,Of course you do. We still possess the
primitive instincts of our hunter

00:07:17,210 --> 00:07:18,-gatherer ancestors.

00:07:18,430 --> 00:07:21,It is virtually impossible to remain
monogamous. So...

00:07:22,080 --> 00:07:23,You think I should break up with Joanna?

00:07:23,940 --> 00:07:26,Joanna? The one that was just here? Uh...