family_matters_s04e12_hot_wheels Subtitles
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00:00:28,910 --> 00:00:29,Tell what you're thinking.
00:00:30,410 --> 00:00:34,You're thinking, Steve, why do you have
a stool glued to your gluteus?
00:00:36,770 --> 00:00:37,No.
00:00:38,030 --> 00:00:41,I was thinking, Carl, why not just sell
the house and move away?
00:00:42,410 --> 00:00:43,Okay,
00:00:45,470 --> 00:00:46,Steve, I'll b***e.
00:00:46,430 --> 00:00:47,Why are you stuck to a stool?
00:00:49,290 --> 00:00:50,Correction, my friend.
00:00:52,410 --> 00:00:54,The stool is stuck to me.
00:00:55,370 --> 00:00:56,Thanks to my latest invention.
00:00:57,470 --> 00:00:58,It's a revolutionary super glue.
00:00:59,250 --> 00:01:00,Wacky tacky.
00:01:00,470 --> 00:01:01,Patent pending.
00:01:04,370 --> 00:01:09,Uh, you accidentally glued yourself to a
stool?
00:01:11,910 --> 00:01:12,Oh, please.
00:01:13,190 --> 00:01:15,What do you mean, a ball? I would...
Yeah.
00:01:20,390 --> 00:01:21,Hello?
00:01:22,270 --> 00:01:23,Oh, hi, Mrs. Urkel.
00:01:23,950 --> 00:01:24,Just a minute.
00:01:25,070 --> 00:01:26,Steve, it's your mom.
00:02:28,910 --> 00:02:34,It's a rare condition, this day and age,
to read any good news on the newspaper
00:02:34,930 --> 00:02:41,page. And love and tradition of the
grand design, some people say, is even
00:02:41,190 --> 00:02:42,harder to find.
00:02:43,570 --> 00:02:49,Well, then there must be some magic clue
inside these gentle walls.
00:02:50,830 --> 00:02:54,Because all I see is a tower of dreams.
00:03:28,010 --> 00:03:29,Crazy world we live in, isn't it?
00:03:30,130 --> 00:03:32,Crime, war, poverty.
00:03:38,770 --> 00:03:42,Edward, that's the sports page.
00:03:45,330 --> 00:03:46,Oh.
00:03:49,330 --> 00:03:54,Listen, Dad, I'm becoming an adult now,
and... No, you can't have a car.
00:03:55,190 --> 00:03:56,Well, why not?
00:03:58,480 --> 00:04:02,you know this was about a car the
problem is you're going to college next
00:04:02,660 --> 00:04:07,and i can't afford to buy you a car and
pay for school oh well that's cool dad
00:04:07,040 --> 00:04:13,i've g***t the perfect solution really
i've decided to sacrifice college and go
00:04:13,460 --> 00:04:14,for the car
00:04:32,080 --> 00:04:33,What's the matter, Carl?
00:04:33,860 --> 00:04:37,Harry, is there anything that you're
willing to sell?
00:04:37,620 --> 00:04:42,You know, like an old table, some
knickknacks, a kidney?
00:04:44,420 --> 00:04:46,Eddie told me he'd hit you up for a car.
00:04:46,720 --> 00:04:48,He's bummed out, but he understands.
00:04:50,560 --> 00:04:57,You know, Harriet, when Edward was born,
I held him in my
00:04:57,280 --> 00:04:58,arms and...
00:04:58,320 --> 00:05:02,I promised myself that I would give him
everything that he ever needed.
00:05:02,320 --> 00:05:05,And you have, Carl. He has all the
essentials.
00:05:05,700 --> 00:05:07,Food, shelter, Nintendo.
00:05:10,780 --> 00:05:14,But most important of all, he has lots
of love.
00:05:15,080 --> 00:05:18,But, Harriet, the boy wants a car.
00:05:18,780 --> 00:05:23,Now, I can relate to that. I mean, a car
to a teenage boy means independence,
00:05:24,100 --> 00:05:25,freedom, s***x appeal.
00:05:27,159 --> 00:05:29,I don't know, car. You were pretty s***y
on your moped.
00:05:33,320 --> 00:05:34,Well, that's true.
00:05:36,500 --> 00:05:38,But, sweetheart, I feel like I'm letting
him down.
00:05:39,280 --> 00:05:43,I can't buy Edward a new car. I can't
even afford to buy him a decent used
00:05:45,240 --> 00:05:47,What about buying him an old beat -up
car?
00:05:48,700 --> 00:05:49,What do you mean, a clunker?
00:05:50,040 --> 00:05:52,Yeah. And you and Eddie can work on it
together.
00:05:53,000 --> 00:05:54,Well, I don't know.
00:06:03,720 --> 00:06:07,Oh, it would be a great way for us to
spend time together. You know, father
00:06:07,160 --> 00:06:12,son side by side, up to our elbows in
Greece, working and sweating till we
00:06:12,380 --> 00:06:13,like hogs.
00:06:15,860 --> 00:06:16,I'll let him walk.
00:06:20,280 --> 00:06:21,Thanks, honey.
00:06:21,480 --> 00:06:22,Hey.
00:06:23,980 --> 00:06:30,How did a guy like me ever end up with a
genius like you?
00:06:31,180 --> 00:06:32,I don't know.
00:06:32,490 --> 00:06:33,I guess I wasn't paying attention.
00:06:39,370 --> 00:06:41,Why, Wacky Tacky will bond anything.
00:06:42,610 --> 00:06:44,Plastic, wood, stone, you name it.
00:06:45,590 --> 00:06:48,Well, what would happen if I spread some
on your lips?
00:06:49,490 --> 00:06:50,Well, my mouth would be shut forever.
00:06:55,010 --> 00:06:56,That's sick.
00:06:59,570 --> 00:07:01,Why are my little gummy bears?
00:07:02,960 --> 00:07:05,Why don't you and I take in a flick?
00:07:07,760 --> 00:07:08,Pucker up, Steve.
00:07:09,220 --> 00:07:11,Now give me the clue. Oh.
00:07:14,160 --> 00:07:16,Listen, Miss Life is Short and You Ain't
Gettin' Any Younger.
00:07:18,960 --> 00:07:22,If you think that you're just gonna open
this door one day and find the man of
00:07:22,900 --> 00:07:24,your dreams, well, you're plum crazy.
00:07:39,370 --> 00:07:41,Would you like to buy some candy? Why,
yes.
00:07:41,550 --> 00:07:45,Yes, I'll pay. Excuse me, excuse me,
excuse me, but the lady has all the
00:07:45,630 --> 00:07:46,items she needs.
00:07:47,410 --> 00:07:48,Now be gone, scamp.
00:07:50,910 --> 00:07:51,Who are you?
00:07:52,370 --> 00:07:53,Steve Urkel. I'm her man.
00:07:56,270 --> 00:07:58,He's not my man. He's my albatross.
00:07:59,450 --> 00:08:04,She's very confused, and sugar will only
make it worse. Now... Oh, God!
00:08:05,410 --> 00:08:06,Won't you come in?
00:08:20,330 --> 00:08:21,I'm Laura Winslow.
00:08:21,270 --> 00:08:22,Ted Curran.
00:08:22,930 --> 00:08:24,Laura, you are beautiful.
00:08:25,170 --> 00:08:28,Is that my heart pounding or ** I still
knocking on the door?
00:08:28,470 --> 00:08:29,Oh, please.
00:08:33,270 --> 00:08:34,Maybe it's my heart pounding.
00:08:35,549 --> 00:08:39,Listen, I know we just met, but would
you like to go out sometime?
00:08:39,890 --> 00:08:40,No, she's not interested.
00:08:41,190 --> 00:08:42,How's tonight? We'll catch a flick.
00:08:43,110 --> 00:08:45,She doesn't like flicks. I just asked
her.
00:08:47,330 --> 00:08:48,Sounds great.
00:08:51,609 --> 00:08:54,Great. Well, listen, now that we're
friends, I can't sell you candy.
00:08:55,210 --> 00:08:56,You can't?
00:08:56,290 --> 00:08:59,No, but I can give you some.
00:09:01,290 --> 00:09:02,No,
00:09:03,870 --> 00:09:05,but I can give you some.
00:09:10,650 --> 00:09:11,See you tonight.
00:09:11,910 --> 00:09:12,Seven o 'clock.
00:09:13,170 --> 00:09:14,Be there.
00:10:12,460 --> 00:10:17,g***t cheated but you don't know how much
i paid for did you give him money yeah
00:10:17,600 --> 00:10:24,you g***t cheated okay i admit that she's
not much to look at now
00:10:24,520 --> 00:10:31,but we're gonna fix her up you and me
together yes sir there is nothing more
00:10:31,340 --> 00:10:33,reliable than a police cruiser
00:10:42,190 --> 00:10:44,Yeah, but that's the beauty of it.
00:10:44,590 --> 00:10:45,I don't either.
00:10:47,590 --> 00:10:52,I bought some books and manuals. Now
we'll read them and use that knowledge
00:10:52,390 --> 00:10:54,restore this baby to showroom condition.
00:10:54,890 --> 00:11:00,But, Dad... Son, use your imagination.
00:11:01,070 --> 00:11:03,Dad, I... Picture this.
00:11:04,250 --> 00:11:07,A big, powerful machine.
00:11:08,210 --> 00:11:11,Bright metallic paint glistens in the
sun. A big...
00:11:12,360 --> 00:11:17,whole racing stripe rips up one side and
down the other. You're almost blinded
00:11:17,220 --> 00:11:22,by sparkling alloy rims, but you can't
take your eyes off of her because she's
00:11:22,800 --> 00:11:26,beauty like no other car that you've
ever seen.
00:11:27,140 --> 00:11:28,Wow.
00:11:31,120 --> 00:11:33,What's that sound I hear? What's that
sound?
00:11:33,720 --> 00:11:34,What's that sound I hear?
00:11:35,380 --> 00:11:38,Sounds like babes.
00:12:19,060 --> 00:12:23,A 455 cubic inches of raw V8 power.
00:12:23,580 --> 00:12:24,Four barrel cars.
00:12:25,080 --> 00:12:26,Twin chrome exhaust.
00:12:26,700 --> 00:12:29,Man, this ride is hype.
00:12:29,760 --> 00:12:30,Yo,
00:12:31,480 --> 00:12:32,dad, I'm sold.
00:12:32,960 --> 00:12:35,Sweetheart, you are going to be the
hottest car.
00:13:01,630 --> 00:13:04,Steve, Ted's going to be here...
00:00:30,410 --> 00:00:34,You're thinking, Steve, why do you have
a stool glued to your gluteus?
00:00:36,770 --> 00:00:37,No.
00:00:38,030 --> 00:00:41,I was thinking, Carl, why not just sell
the house and move away?
00:00:42,410 --> 00:00:43,Okay,
00:00:45,470 --> 00:00:46,Steve, I'll b***e.
00:00:46,430 --> 00:00:47,Why are you stuck to a stool?
00:00:49,290 --> 00:00:50,Correction, my friend.
00:00:52,410 --> 00:00:54,The stool is stuck to me.
00:00:55,370 --> 00:00:56,Thanks to my latest invention.
00:00:57,470 --> 00:00:58,It's a revolutionary super glue.
00:00:59,250 --> 00:01:00,Wacky tacky.
00:01:00,470 --> 00:01:01,Patent pending.
00:01:04,370 --> 00:01:09,Uh, you accidentally glued yourself to a
stool?
00:01:11,910 --> 00:01:12,Oh, please.
00:01:13,190 --> 00:01:15,What do you mean, a ball? I would...
Yeah.
00:01:20,390 --> 00:01:21,Hello?
00:01:22,270 --> 00:01:23,Oh, hi, Mrs. Urkel.
00:01:23,950 --> 00:01:24,Just a minute.
00:01:25,070 --> 00:01:26,Steve, it's your mom.
00:02:28,910 --> 00:02:34,It's a rare condition, this day and age,
to read any good news on the newspaper
00:02:34,930 --> 00:02:41,page. And love and tradition of the
grand design, some people say, is even
00:02:41,190 --> 00:02:42,harder to find.
00:02:43,570 --> 00:02:49,Well, then there must be some magic clue
inside these gentle walls.
00:02:50,830 --> 00:02:54,Because all I see is a tower of dreams.
00:03:28,010 --> 00:03:29,Crazy world we live in, isn't it?
00:03:30,130 --> 00:03:32,Crime, war, poverty.
00:03:38,770 --> 00:03:42,Edward, that's the sports page.
00:03:45,330 --> 00:03:46,Oh.
00:03:49,330 --> 00:03:54,Listen, Dad, I'm becoming an adult now,
and... No, you can't have a car.
00:03:55,190 --> 00:03:56,Well, why not?
00:03:58,480 --> 00:04:02,you know this was about a car the
problem is you're going to college next
00:04:02,660 --> 00:04:07,and i can't afford to buy you a car and
pay for school oh well that's cool dad
00:04:07,040 --> 00:04:13,i've g***t the perfect solution really
i've decided to sacrifice college and go
00:04:13,460 --> 00:04:14,for the car
00:04:32,080 --> 00:04:33,What's the matter, Carl?
00:04:33,860 --> 00:04:37,Harry, is there anything that you're
willing to sell?
00:04:37,620 --> 00:04:42,You know, like an old table, some
knickknacks, a kidney?
00:04:44,420 --> 00:04:46,Eddie told me he'd hit you up for a car.
00:04:46,720 --> 00:04:48,He's bummed out, but he understands.
00:04:50,560 --> 00:04:57,You know, Harriet, when Edward was born,
I held him in my
00:04:57,280 --> 00:04:58,arms and...
00:04:58,320 --> 00:05:02,I promised myself that I would give him
everything that he ever needed.
00:05:02,320 --> 00:05:05,And you have, Carl. He has all the
essentials.
00:05:05,700 --> 00:05:07,Food, shelter, Nintendo.
00:05:10,780 --> 00:05:14,But most important of all, he has lots
of love.
00:05:15,080 --> 00:05:18,But, Harriet, the boy wants a car.
00:05:18,780 --> 00:05:23,Now, I can relate to that. I mean, a car
to a teenage boy means independence,
00:05:24,100 --> 00:05:25,freedom, s***x appeal.
00:05:27,159 --> 00:05:29,I don't know, car. You were pretty s***y
on your moped.
00:05:33,320 --> 00:05:34,Well, that's true.
00:05:36,500 --> 00:05:38,But, sweetheart, I feel like I'm letting
him down.
00:05:39,280 --> 00:05:43,I can't buy Edward a new car. I can't
even afford to buy him a decent used
00:05:45,240 --> 00:05:47,What about buying him an old beat -up
car?
00:05:48,700 --> 00:05:49,What do you mean, a clunker?
00:05:50,040 --> 00:05:52,Yeah. And you and Eddie can work on it
together.
00:05:53,000 --> 00:05:54,Well, I don't know.
00:06:03,720 --> 00:06:07,Oh, it would be a great way for us to
spend time together. You know, father
00:06:07,160 --> 00:06:12,son side by side, up to our elbows in
Greece, working and sweating till we
00:06:12,380 --> 00:06:13,like hogs.
00:06:15,860 --> 00:06:16,I'll let him walk.
00:06:20,280 --> 00:06:21,Thanks, honey.
00:06:21,480 --> 00:06:22,Hey.
00:06:23,980 --> 00:06:30,How did a guy like me ever end up with a
genius like you?
00:06:31,180 --> 00:06:32,I don't know.
00:06:32,490 --> 00:06:33,I guess I wasn't paying attention.
00:06:39,370 --> 00:06:41,Why, Wacky Tacky will bond anything.
00:06:42,610 --> 00:06:44,Plastic, wood, stone, you name it.
00:06:45,590 --> 00:06:48,Well, what would happen if I spread some
on your lips?
00:06:49,490 --> 00:06:50,Well, my mouth would be shut forever.
00:06:55,010 --> 00:06:56,That's sick.
00:06:59,570 --> 00:07:01,Why are my little gummy bears?
00:07:02,960 --> 00:07:05,Why don't you and I take in a flick?
00:07:07,760 --> 00:07:08,Pucker up, Steve.
00:07:09,220 --> 00:07:11,Now give me the clue. Oh.
00:07:14,160 --> 00:07:16,Listen, Miss Life is Short and You Ain't
Gettin' Any Younger.
00:07:18,960 --> 00:07:22,If you think that you're just gonna open
this door one day and find the man of
00:07:22,900 --> 00:07:24,your dreams, well, you're plum crazy.
00:07:39,370 --> 00:07:41,Would you like to buy some candy? Why,
yes.
00:07:41,550 --> 00:07:45,Yes, I'll pay. Excuse me, excuse me,
excuse me, but the lady has all the
00:07:45,630 --> 00:07:46,items she needs.
00:07:47,410 --> 00:07:48,Now be gone, scamp.
00:07:50,910 --> 00:07:51,Who are you?
00:07:52,370 --> 00:07:53,Steve Urkel. I'm her man.
00:07:56,270 --> 00:07:58,He's not my man. He's my albatross.
00:07:59,450 --> 00:08:04,She's very confused, and sugar will only
make it worse. Now... Oh, God!
00:08:05,410 --> 00:08:06,Won't you come in?
00:08:20,330 --> 00:08:21,I'm Laura Winslow.
00:08:21,270 --> 00:08:22,Ted Curran.
00:08:22,930 --> 00:08:24,Laura, you are beautiful.
00:08:25,170 --> 00:08:28,Is that my heart pounding or ** I still
knocking on the door?
00:08:28,470 --> 00:08:29,Oh, please.
00:08:33,270 --> 00:08:34,Maybe it's my heart pounding.
00:08:35,549 --> 00:08:39,Listen, I know we just met, but would
you like to go out sometime?
00:08:39,890 --> 00:08:40,No, she's not interested.
00:08:41,190 --> 00:08:42,How's tonight? We'll catch a flick.
00:08:43,110 --> 00:08:45,She doesn't like flicks. I just asked
her.
00:08:47,330 --> 00:08:48,Sounds great.
00:08:51,609 --> 00:08:54,Great. Well, listen, now that we're
friends, I can't sell you candy.
00:08:55,210 --> 00:08:56,You can't?
00:08:56,290 --> 00:08:59,No, but I can give you some.
00:09:01,290 --> 00:09:02,No,
00:09:03,870 --> 00:09:05,but I can give you some.
00:09:10,650 --> 00:09:11,See you tonight.
00:09:11,910 --> 00:09:12,Seven o 'clock.
00:09:13,170 --> 00:09:14,Be there.
00:10:12,460 --> 00:10:17,g***t cheated but you don't know how much
i paid for did you give him money yeah
00:10:17,600 --> 00:10:24,you g***t cheated okay i admit that she's
not much to look at now
00:10:24,520 --> 00:10:31,but we're gonna fix her up you and me
together yes sir there is nothing more
00:10:31,340 --> 00:10:33,reliable than a police cruiser
00:10:42,190 --> 00:10:44,Yeah, but that's the beauty of it.
00:10:44,590 --> 00:10:45,I don't either.
00:10:47,590 --> 00:10:52,I bought some books and manuals. Now
we'll read them and use that knowledge
00:10:52,390 --> 00:10:54,restore this baby to showroom condition.
00:10:54,890 --> 00:11:00,But, Dad... Son, use your imagination.
00:11:01,070 --> 00:11:03,Dad, I... Picture this.
00:11:04,250 --> 00:11:07,A big, powerful machine.
00:11:08,210 --> 00:11:11,Bright metallic paint glistens in the
sun. A big...
00:11:12,360 --> 00:11:17,whole racing stripe rips up one side and
down the other. You're almost blinded
00:11:17,220 --> 00:11:22,by sparkling alloy rims, but you can't
take your eyes off of her because she's
00:11:22,800 --> 00:11:26,beauty like no other car that you've
ever seen.
00:11:27,140 --> 00:11:28,Wow.
00:11:31,120 --> 00:11:33,What's that sound I hear? What's that
sound?
00:11:33,720 --> 00:11:34,What's that sound I hear?
00:11:35,380 --> 00:11:38,Sounds like babes.
00:12:19,060 --> 00:12:23,A 455 cubic inches of raw V8 power.
00:12:23,580 --> 00:12:24,Four barrel cars.
00:12:25,080 --> 00:12:26,Twin chrome exhaust.
00:12:26,700 --> 00:12:29,Man, this ride is hype.
00:12:29,760 --> 00:12:30,Yo,
00:12:31,480 --> 00:12:32,dad, I'm sold.
00:12:32,960 --> 00:12:35,Sweetheart, you are going to be the
hottest car.
00:13:01,630 --> 00:13:04,Steve, Ted's going to be here...
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