family_matters_s04e14_a_thought_in_the_dark Subtitles
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00:00:08,039 --> 00:00:14,It's a rare condition this day and age
to read any good news on the newspaper
00:00:14,340 --> 00:00:20,page. And love and tradition of the
grand design, some people say, is even
00:00:20,620 --> 00:00:21,harder to find.
00:00:22,940 --> 00:00:28,Well, then there must be some magic clue
inside these gentle walls.
00:00:30,080 --> 00:00:36,Because all I see is a tower of dreams,
real love bursting out of every scene.
00:00:42,480 --> 00:00:45,It's the bigger love of the family.
00:00:56,060 --> 00:00:57,Oh, pretty lady.
00:00:58,260 --> 00:01:00,Numpty pretty boy, and we be damning.
00:01:12,880 --> 00:01:14,My car was not on fire.
00:01:17,760 --> 00:01:18,Go home, Urkel.
00:01:19,040 --> 00:01:21,Hey, I paid for my... I said go home.
00:01:21,780 --> 00:01:22,Calm down.
00:01:23,060 --> 00:01:25,Go home! Go home! Go home!
00:01:31,040 --> 00:01:32,I don't have to take this.
00:01:33,340 --> 00:01:34,I'm going home.
00:01:35,840 --> 00:01:37,My dreadlocks, if you please.
00:01:46,440 --> 00:01:47,What's the matter, sweetheart?
00:01:48,340 --> 00:01:52,I'm dead meat. You remember Mom's fancy
dress with all the sparkly things on it?
00:01:53,080 --> 00:01:54,You mean sequins?
00:01:54,500 --> 00:01:59,Yeah. Well, I sort of tried it on, and I
sort of g***t it dirty, and I sort of put
00:01:59,720 --> 00:02:00,it in the washing machine.
00:02:01,880 --> 00:02:02,Uh -oh.
00:02:02,980 --> 00:02:03,Was it damaged?
00:02:15,600 --> 00:02:16,Well, don't worry, sweetheart.
00:02:17,060 --> 00:02:19,The next time we go out, we'll just glue
these on to your mother.
00:02:21,920 --> 00:02:24,Daddy, you gotta help me. Mom will kill
me.
00:02:25,120 --> 00:02:26,Well, take it easy, sweetheart.
00:02:26,520 --> 00:02:27,I'll tell you what.
00:02:27,720 --> 00:02:30,We'll wait till your mom is in a real
good mood, and then I'll explain things
00:02:30,940 --> 00:02:31,her.
00:02:32,060 --> 00:02:33,Get her back.
00:02:36,560 --> 00:02:38,Hey, Dad, can I borrow 20 bucks?
00:02:39,260 --> 00:02:40,20 bucks?
00:02:40,580 --> 00:02:43,Edward, do you see this sack of
envelope?
00:02:43,770 --> 00:02:46,This is not fan mail, son. These are
bills.
00:02:48,310 --> 00:02:49,How about 15?
00:02:51,210 --> 00:02:53,Edward, do you see this bill?
00:02:54,270 --> 00:02:56,It's from the Landon Lincoln Casualty.
00:02:56,850 --> 00:02:59,$400 for your car insurance.
00:03:00,050 --> 00:03:01,Whoa.
00:03:01,570 --> 00:03:04,That's a lot of money. You said it. I
wouldn't pay it.
00:03:04,870 --> 00:03:10,Uh, Edward, you know how you're always
complaining about how I treat you like a
00:03:10,290 --> 00:03:11,kid?
00:03:11,310 --> 00:03:13,Well, I'm going to give you some real
adult responsibility.
00:03:14,310 --> 00:03:17,From now on, you are going to start
paying at least part of your car
00:03:19,010 --> 00:03:22,But, Dad... No, but the quarterly
premium is $400.
00:03:22,830 --> 00:03:25,So I expect you to pay at least one
-fourth of that amount out of your
00:03:28,190 --> 00:03:29,But that's $60.
00:03:31,430 --> 00:03:32,$100. Nice try, son.
00:03:33,310 --> 00:03:37,Dad, do you know how many times I'll
have to say, how about some mustard on
00:03:37,170 --> 00:03:38,mighty weenie to make $100?
00:03:41,170 --> 00:03:44,No. But keep track. The guys out of the
precinct love interesting facts like
00:03:44,970 --> 00:03:45,that.
00:03:45,870 --> 00:03:46,Oh, sure.
00:03:47,230 --> 00:03:48,Mock me.
00:03:48,130 --> 00:03:49,But let me tell you something, Dad.
00:03:50,190 --> 00:03:52,I didn't get this part -time job to be
responsible.
00:03:53,090 --> 00:03:54,I g***t it to impress chicks.
00:04:15,180 --> 00:04:16,Thanks for coming, Steve.
00:04:16,200 --> 00:04:20,Oh, sorry I'm tardy, but I just g***t back
from the optometrist. He dilated the
00:04:20,500 --> 00:04:22,old peeper, so things are a little
foggy.
00:04:50,440 --> 00:04:51,concert, and I want you to go... Oh,
yes!
00:04:52,320 --> 00:04:53,Yes! Yes!
00:04:55,680 --> 00:04:57,A thousand times yes!
00:04:59,220 --> 00:05:02,Why, this is the greatest day of my
life!
00:05:03,680 --> 00:05:05,Well, Ted's coming, too.
00:05:05,660 --> 00:05:06,Oh.
00:05:07,440 --> 00:05:11,Well, ordinarily, three's a crowd, but
in this case... It's not just the three
00:05:11,380 --> 00:05:12,of us.
00:05:12,800 --> 00:05:14,Ted's bringing his cousin, Myra.
00:05:15,080 --> 00:05:16,Oh?
00:05:16,460 --> 00:05:19,Well, in some mountainous regions of the
country...
00:05:28,910 --> 00:05:29,difference does it make?
00:05:31,110 --> 00:05:36,If two or a thousand people tag along,
as long as we're together.
00:05:38,610 --> 00:05:39,What?
00:05:40,090 --> 00:05:41,Have you been eating?
00:05:44,190 --> 00:05:46,Why, you're nothing but skin and bones.
00:05:50,110 --> 00:05:51,Ow!
00:05:52,350 --> 00:05:56,Listen, it's a double date. I'll be with
Ted and you'll be with Myra.
00:05:56,530 --> 00:06:00,Ted told her all about you and...
Despite that, she's looking forward to
00:06:00,090 --> 00:06:01,you.
00:06:01,670 --> 00:06:02,Wait a minute.
00:06:03,430 --> 00:06:08,This is a transparent attempt to pawn me
off on another woman. Well, it ain't
00:06:08,110 --> 00:06:09,gonna work. Never in a million years.
00:06:12,130 --> 00:06:13,Please, please. Okay.
00:06:25,590 --> 00:06:27,And these are for you, sweetheart.
00:06:28,000 --> 00:06:29,And, uh, these are for what, their
names?
00:06:31,920 --> 00:06:33,Her name is Myra.
00:06:34,500 --> 00:06:37,Yeah, well, you better write it on your
face, because that's where I'll be
00:06:37,260 --> 00:06:38,looking all night.
00:06:39,540 --> 00:06:42,Look, Steve, give the poor girl a
chance. Who knows? You might even like
00:06:42,760 --> 00:06:45,Ha! I'd be very surprised indeed.
00:07:00,910 --> 00:07:02,This is Laura. Hi, nice to meet you.
Hello.
00:07:02,910 --> 00:07:04,Thanks. And this is your date, Steve
Urkel.
00:07:05,090 --> 00:07:06,Hello, Steve.
00:07:06,130 --> 00:07:07,Hello.
00:07:07,450 --> 00:07:11,I'm sure you're aware that Myra was a
seaport in ancient Lycia.
00:07:11,490 --> 00:07:15,Oh, yes. Then I'm sure that you're aware
that Steve derives from the Greek,
00:07:15,730 --> 00:07:17,Stephanos, i .e. crown.
00:07:20,950 --> 00:07:21,But of course.
00:07:24,510 --> 00:07:26,And these are poor boots.
00:07:31,470 --> 00:07:33,And look at these lovely catananchi
cerulea.
00:07:34,750 --> 00:07:35,What?
00:07:37,330 --> 00:07:39,Butter Captain Cupid's dart.
00:07:39,310 --> 00:07:40,Read a book.
00:07:44,070 --> 00:07:46,Uh, come on, guys. We better get going.
00:07:46,570 --> 00:07:48,I pray you, my little ancient people.
00:07:49,070 --> 00:07:51,Merci, my handsome Stefano.
00:07:52,110 --> 00:07:58,What a cute little...
00:08:11,400 --> 00:08:13,Are you paying Edward's share of his car
insurance?
00:08:13,880 --> 00:08:16,Yeah, he met this new girl and wanted to
take her to dinner.
00:08:16,840 --> 00:08:18,Don't worry, he promised to pay me back.
00:08:19,240 --> 00:08:20,Ah, oh.
00:08:20,360 --> 00:08:21,Uh -huh.
00:08:22,100 --> 00:08:23,Always coddling that kid, boy.
00:08:24,960 --> 00:08:27,Carl, are you saying that I'm coddling
Eddie?
00:08:27,720 --> 00:08:28,Well, since you brought it up.
00:08:29,720 --> 00:08:33,Carl, I'm simply helping him. Harriet,
that is not helping him.
00:08:34,059 --> 00:08:35,Now, Edward needs to learn
responsibility.
00:08:36,400 --> 00:08:39,How is he ever going to do that if you
always let him off the hook?
00:08:40,620 --> 00:08:41,Well, not calm down.
00:08:41,640 --> 00:08:43,I mean, this is very important.
00:08:45,180 --> 00:08:48,Carl, let me get this straight.
00:08:49,120 --> 00:08:52,You're saying that if our kids screw up,
we should just let them take their
00:08:52,280 --> 00:08:54,lunch? Absolutely. How else are they
going to learn?
00:08:54,580 --> 00:08:55,No exception. No exception.
00:08:56,140 --> 00:08:57,Then why are you covering for Judy? Say
what?
00:08:58,780 --> 00:09:01,You told me that my red sequined gown
was mixed up in the laundry.
00:09:02,260 --> 00:09:05,What you didn't tell me was that Judy
was the one that ruined it.
00:09:06,280 --> 00:09:08,Well, me helping Judy is totally
different from you helping Eddie.
00:09:09,580 --> 00:09:10,Oh?
00:09:11,950 --> 00:09:13,You weren't supposed to find out about
Judy.
133...
to read any good news on the newspaper
00:00:14,340 --> 00:00:20,page. And love and tradition of the
grand design, some people say, is even
00:00:20,620 --> 00:00:21,harder to find.
00:00:22,940 --> 00:00:28,Well, then there must be some magic clue
inside these gentle walls.
00:00:30,080 --> 00:00:36,Because all I see is a tower of dreams,
real love bursting out of every scene.
00:00:42,480 --> 00:00:45,It's the bigger love of the family.
00:00:56,060 --> 00:00:57,Oh, pretty lady.
00:00:58,260 --> 00:01:00,Numpty pretty boy, and we be damning.
00:01:12,880 --> 00:01:14,My car was not on fire.
00:01:17,760 --> 00:01:18,Go home, Urkel.
00:01:19,040 --> 00:01:21,Hey, I paid for my... I said go home.
00:01:21,780 --> 00:01:22,Calm down.
00:01:23,060 --> 00:01:25,Go home! Go home! Go home!
00:01:31,040 --> 00:01:32,I don't have to take this.
00:01:33,340 --> 00:01:34,I'm going home.
00:01:35,840 --> 00:01:37,My dreadlocks, if you please.
00:01:46,440 --> 00:01:47,What's the matter, sweetheart?
00:01:48,340 --> 00:01:52,I'm dead meat. You remember Mom's fancy
dress with all the sparkly things on it?
00:01:53,080 --> 00:01:54,You mean sequins?
00:01:54,500 --> 00:01:59,Yeah. Well, I sort of tried it on, and I
sort of g***t it dirty, and I sort of put
00:01:59,720 --> 00:02:00,it in the washing machine.
00:02:01,880 --> 00:02:02,Uh -oh.
00:02:02,980 --> 00:02:03,Was it damaged?
00:02:15,600 --> 00:02:16,Well, don't worry, sweetheart.
00:02:17,060 --> 00:02:19,The next time we go out, we'll just glue
these on to your mother.
00:02:21,920 --> 00:02:24,Daddy, you gotta help me. Mom will kill
me.
00:02:25,120 --> 00:02:26,Well, take it easy, sweetheart.
00:02:26,520 --> 00:02:27,I'll tell you what.
00:02:27,720 --> 00:02:30,We'll wait till your mom is in a real
good mood, and then I'll explain things
00:02:30,940 --> 00:02:31,her.
00:02:32,060 --> 00:02:33,Get her back.
00:02:36,560 --> 00:02:38,Hey, Dad, can I borrow 20 bucks?
00:02:39,260 --> 00:02:40,20 bucks?
00:02:40,580 --> 00:02:43,Edward, do you see this sack of
envelope?
00:02:43,770 --> 00:02:46,This is not fan mail, son. These are
bills.
00:02:48,310 --> 00:02:49,How about 15?
00:02:51,210 --> 00:02:53,Edward, do you see this bill?
00:02:54,270 --> 00:02:56,It's from the Landon Lincoln Casualty.
00:02:56,850 --> 00:02:59,$400 for your car insurance.
00:03:00,050 --> 00:03:01,Whoa.
00:03:01,570 --> 00:03:04,That's a lot of money. You said it. I
wouldn't pay it.
00:03:04,870 --> 00:03:10,Uh, Edward, you know how you're always
complaining about how I treat you like a
00:03:10,290 --> 00:03:11,kid?
00:03:11,310 --> 00:03:13,Well, I'm going to give you some real
adult responsibility.
00:03:14,310 --> 00:03:17,From now on, you are going to start
paying at least part of your car
00:03:19,010 --> 00:03:22,But, Dad... No, but the quarterly
premium is $400.
00:03:22,830 --> 00:03:25,So I expect you to pay at least one
-fourth of that amount out of your
00:03:28,190 --> 00:03:29,But that's $60.
00:03:31,430 --> 00:03:32,$100. Nice try, son.
00:03:33,310 --> 00:03:37,Dad, do you know how many times I'll
have to say, how about some mustard on
00:03:37,170 --> 00:03:38,mighty weenie to make $100?
00:03:41,170 --> 00:03:44,No. But keep track. The guys out of the
precinct love interesting facts like
00:03:44,970 --> 00:03:45,that.
00:03:45,870 --> 00:03:46,Oh, sure.
00:03:47,230 --> 00:03:48,Mock me.
00:03:48,130 --> 00:03:49,But let me tell you something, Dad.
00:03:50,190 --> 00:03:52,I didn't get this part -time job to be
responsible.
00:03:53,090 --> 00:03:54,I g***t it to impress chicks.
00:04:15,180 --> 00:04:16,Thanks for coming, Steve.
00:04:16,200 --> 00:04:20,Oh, sorry I'm tardy, but I just g***t back
from the optometrist. He dilated the
00:04:20,500 --> 00:04:22,old peeper, so things are a little
foggy.
00:04:50,440 --> 00:04:51,concert, and I want you to go... Oh,
yes!
00:04:52,320 --> 00:04:53,Yes! Yes!
00:04:55,680 --> 00:04:57,A thousand times yes!
00:04:59,220 --> 00:05:02,Why, this is the greatest day of my
life!
00:05:03,680 --> 00:05:05,Well, Ted's coming, too.
00:05:05,660 --> 00:05:06,Oh.
00:05:07,440 --> 00:05:11,Well, ordinarily, three's a crowd, but
in this case... It's not just the three
00:05:11,380 --> 00:05:12,of us.
00:05:12,800 --> 00:05:14,Ted's bringing his cousin, Myra.
00:05:15,080 --> 00:05:16,Oh?
00:05:16,460 --> 00:05:19,Well, in some mountainous regions of the
country...
00:05:28,910 --> 00:05:29,difference does it make?
00:05:31,110 --> 00:05:36,If two or a thousand people tag along,
as long as we're together.
00:05:38,610 --> 00:05:39,What?
00:05:40,090 --> 00:05:41,Have you been eating?
00:05:44,190 --> 00:05:46,Why, you're nothing but skin and bones.
00:05:50,110 --> 00:05:51,Ow!
00:05:52,350 --> 00:05:56,Listen, it's a double date. I'll be with
Ted and you'll be with Myra.
00:05:56,530 --> 00:06:00,Ted told her all about you and...
Despite that, she's looking forward to
00:06:00,090 --> 00:06:01,you.
00:06:01,670 --> 00:06:02,Wait a minute.
00:06:03,430 --> 00:06:08,This is a transparent attempt to pawn me
off on another woman. Well, it ain't
00:06:08,110 --> 00:06:09,gonna work. Never in a million years.
00:06:12,130 --> 00:06:13,Please, please. Okay.
00:06:25,590 --> 00:06:27,And these are for you, sweetheart.
00:06:28,000 --> 00:06:29,And, uh, these are for what, their
names?
00:06:31,920 --> 00:06:33,Her name is Myra.
00:06:34,500 --> 00:06:37,Yeah, well, you better write it on your
face, because that's where I'll be
00:06:37,260 --> 00:06:38,looking all night.
00:06:39,540 --> 00:06:42,Look, Steve, give the poor girl a
chance. Who knows? You might even like
00:06:42,760 --> 00:06:45,Ha! I'd be very surprised indeed.
00:07:00,910 --> 00:07:02,This is Laura. Hi, nice to meet you.
Hello.
00:07:02,910 --> 00:07:04,Thanks. And this is your date, Steve
Urkel.
00:07:05,090 --> 00:07:06,Hello, Steve.
00:07:06,130 --> 00:07:07,Hello.
00:07:07,450 --> 00:07:11,I'm sure you're aware that Myra was a
seaport in ancient Lycia.
00:07:11,490 --> 00:07:15,Oh, yes. Then I'm sure that you're aware
that Steve derives from the Greek,
00:07:15,730 --> 00:07:17,Stephanos, i .e. crown.
00:07:20,950 --> 00:07:21,But of course.
00:07:24,510 --> 00:07:26,And these are poor boots.
00:07:31,470 --> 00:07:33,And look at these lovely catananchi
cerulea.
00:07:34,750 --> 00:07:35,What?
00:07:37,330 --> 00:07:39,Butter Captain Cupid's dart.
00:07:39,310 --> 00:07:40,Read a book.
00:07:44,070 --> 00:07:46,Uh, come on, guys. We better get going.
00:07:46,570 --> 00:07:48,I pray you, my little ancient people.
00:07:49,070 --> 00:07:51,Merci, my handsome Stefano.
00:07:52,110 --> 00:07:58,What a cute little...
00:08:11,400 --> 00:08:13,Are you paying Edward's share of his car
insurance?
00:08:13,880 --> 00:08:16,Yeah, he met this new girl and wanted to
take her to dinner.
00:08:16,840 --> 00:08:18,Don't worry, he promised to pay me back.
00:08:19,240 --> 00:08:20,Ah, oh.
00:08:20,360 --> 00:08:21,Uh -huh.
00:08:22,100 --> 00:08:23,Always coddling that kid, boy.
00:08:24,960 --> 00:08:27,Carl, are you saying that I'm coddling
Eddie?
00:08:27,720 --> 00:08:28,Well, since you brought it up.
00:08:29,720 --> 00:08:33,Carl, I'm simply helping him. Harriet,
that is not helping him.
00:08:34,059 --> 00:08:35,Now, Edward needs to learn
responsibility.
00:08:36,400 --> 00:08:39,How is he ever going to do that if you
always let him off the hook?
00:08:40,620 --> 00:08:41,Well, not calm down.
00:08:41,640 --> 00:08:43,I mean, this is very important.
00:08:45,180 --> 00:08:48,Carl, let me get this straight.
00:08:49,120 --> 00:08:52,You're saying that if our kids screw up,
we should just let them take their
00:08:52,280 --> 00:08:54,lunch? Absolutely. How else are they
going to learn?
00:08:54,580 --> 00:08:55,No exception. No exception.
00:08:56,140 --> 00:08:57,Then why are you covering for Judy? Say
what?
00:08:58,780 --> 00:09:01,You told me that my red sequined gown
was mixed up in the laundry.
00:09:02,260 --> 00:09:05,What you didn't tell me was that Judy
was the one that ruined it.
00:09:06,280 --> 00:09:08,Well, me helping Judy is totally
different from you helping Eddie.
00:09:09,580 --> 00:09:10,Oh?
00:09:11,950 --> 00:09:13,You weren't supposed to find out about
Judy.
133...
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