Married.With.Children.S08E02.Hood.In.The.Boyz.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP5.1.H.264-Azkars_track3_[eng] Subtitles
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00:01:25,628 --> 00:01:26,Hi, Peggy.
00:01:27,095 --> 00:01:30,We just came by to borrow
some lawn chairs.
00:01:32,496 --> 00:01:34,Jefferson's taking me to the beach.
00:01:34,729 --> 00:01:36,The beach, huh?
00:01:36,296 --> 00:01:39,Gee, I can't remember the last time
Al took me to the beach.
00:01:39,464 --> 00:01:42,Can't remember
the last time Al took me.
00:01:42,498 --> 00:01:45,-Sure as hell wasn't at the beach.
-Oh, Peggy.
00:01:45,866 --> 00:01:50,It's such a shame you didn't marry
into your own species.
00:01:50,933 --> 00:01:53,Vertebrates love to go places
with their wives.
00:01:53,933 --> 00:01:56,-Take Jefferson.
-Like you wouldn't want him back.
00:01:59,034 --> 00:02:00,For example, I meant.
00:02:00,835 --> 00:02:03,In the book that I g***t him,
The Woman Is Always Right...
00:02:08,870 --> 00:02:12,...Jefferson has learned the ABC's
of any good marriage are--
00:02:12,670 --> 00:02:16,Appreciation, balance
and consideration.
00:02:16,304 --> 00:02:20,Well, you know, Al believes
in the ABC's of a good marriage too.
00:02:20,639 --> 00:02:23,Only his are air conditioning, beer...
00:02:23,440 --> 00:02:27,...and "Could you shut up so I can
enjoy my air conditioning and beer?"
00:02:36,243 --> 00:02:39,Come on, Marcie,
your stuff's in the garage.
00:02:39,776 --> 00:02:43,Al, how come you never take me
to the beach?
00:02:43,644 --> 00:02:46,What's the point?
You'd just find your way back.
00:02:49,178 --> 00:02:51,I really wish
you two were coming with us.
00:02:51,478 --> 00:02:53,I hate seeing Al shirtless
as much as anyone...
00:02:53,979 --> 00:02:57,...but there's no better way
to keep the flies off the food.
00:03:01,580 --> 00:03:03,On the bright side,
there's no lifeguard...
00:03:03,681 --> 00:03:07,...that would give her
mouth-to-beak resuscitation.
00:03:07,781 --> 00:03:10,Hey, guess what happened to me today
at the shoe store.
00:03:10,516 --> 00:03:14,A cop came in,
gave you a ticket for loitering?
00:03:14,717 --> 00:03:17,So no friends at all
are enough for you now?
00:03:18,484 --> 00:03:21,-I'm sorry, Al. Go ahead.
-Okay.
00:03:22,252 --> 00:03:24,Jefferson, was there ever a girl
in your life...
00:03:25,119 --> 00:03:29,...that you were so nuts about, so crazy
for, so unbelievably in love with...
00:03:29,753 --> 00:03:31,...that you would do anything
she asked you?
00:03:32,320 --> 00:03:35,Yes, Marcie.
00:03:35,787 --> 00:03:37,Really?
00:03:37,988 --> 00:03:40,Yep. Marcie McGuire,
my third grade teacher.
00:03:42,289 --> 00:03:44,I remember she used to wear
this certain skirt...
00:03:44,756 --> 00:03:48,...and sometimes if there was a lot
of static electricity in the air it would--
00:03:48,924 --> 00:03:51,Jefferson, this is my story.
00:03:55,591 --> 00:03:57,What would it do?
00:03:58,058 --> 00:04:00,Cling to her bottom.
00:04:03,894 --> 00:04:06,Anyway, there I was
in the shoe store...
00:04:06,561 --> 00:04:07,...and guess who I heard from?
00:04:08,194 --> 00:04:10,Mary Ellen Listfield.
00:04:10,362 --> 00:04:12,My Marcie McGuire.
00:04:12,695 --> 00:04:13,You should've seen her.
00:04:14,062 --> 00:04:18,She was the most beautiful girl in
the neighborhood. I was so in love.
00:04:18,530 --> 00:04:19,So...
00:04:21,164 --> 00:04:22,...did you do her?
00:04:24,298 --> 00:04:27,You're a toad,
you know that, Jefferson?
00:04:27,198 --> 00:04:31,Why would I say I was in love with her
if I ever had s***x with her?
00:04:38,367 --> 00:04:40,Good point, Al. You're right.
So go ahead. What happened?
00:04:41,168 --> 00:04:44,Well, she went off to college...
00:04:44,202 --> 00:04:47,...but before she went I told her
if she ever needed anything to call.
00:04:48,136 --> 00:04:51,-And today she did.
-So now you're gonna do her.
00:04:52,570 --> 00:04:54,My doing days are over, Jefferson.
00:04:54,803 --> 00:04:57,I'm done.
00:05:02,272 --> 00:05:03,But get this.
00:05:03,739 --> 00:05:06,She's back in the neighborhood
running her father's old soda shop.
00:05:06,973 --> 00:05:09,Now, a few kids in the neighborhood
are giving her a bad time.
00:05:10,107 --> 00:05:12,So I'm gonna go
straighten things out.
00:05:12,541 --> 00:05:16,-What're you gonna tell Peggy?
-Same thing I've told her my whole life.
00:05:23,110 --> 00:05:26,That what I do
is none of her d***n business!
00:05:32,545 --> 00:05:34,Al, Al, Al.
00:05:34,945 --> 00:05:37,Have you ever read the book:
00:05:37,213 --> 00:05:39,The Man Is Always Right?
00:05:40,180 --> 00:05:42,No. Wife wouldn't let me.
00:05:43,281 --> 00:05:47,Well, in the chapter titled,
"My God, Is She Still Here?"...
00:05:49,782 --> 00:05:52,...it states that the longer
a couple has been married...
00:05:52,615 --> 00:05:55,...the less likely a man
can hide anything from his wife.
00:05:56,516 --> 00:05:59,There hasn't been a woman made yet
smart enough to read Al Bundy.
00:06:01,350 --> 00:06:02,Hi, Peg.
00:06:03,585 --> 00:06:05,What're you hiding?
00:06:06,752 --> 00:06:10,-I was at the shoe store today when--
-When, when...
00:06:10,619 --> 00:06:12,...when he realized
that he hasn't taken you...
00:06:13,086 --> 00:06:15,...on that second honeymoon
that you've always dreamed of.
00:06:15,887 --> 00:06:17,And now he is.
00:06:18,154 --> 00:06:21,-Now I **?
-Oh, Al, you are?
00:06:21,488 --> 00:06:25,-You really do care.
-But Peg, I don't. I swear that I don't.
00:06:26,089 --> 00:06:28,I gotta go tell Marcie.
00:06:38,325 --> 00:06:40,Okay, I know what you're thinking.
00:06:41,126 --> 00:06:43,Then why aren't you
crossing your legs?
00:06:50,328 --> 00:06:51,Look, Al, don't you get it?
00:06:52,161 --> 00:06:54,Now she can't suspect anything.
00:06:54,562 --> 00:06:58,All you do is you just go get
a hotel near the old neighborhood...
00:06:58,596 --> 00:07:04,...and after you take care of business,
then you can go take care of business.
00:07:04,997 --> 00:07:09,But that means
I have to s***x with my wife.
00:07:09,331 --> 00:07:14,Hey. Sometimes if you wanna win
the war you have to burn the village.
00:07:19,700 --> 00:07:21,Al, this is so exciting.
00:07:22,134 --> 00:07:23,Look at this room.
00:07:23,935 --> 00:07:25,Look at this bed.
00:07:25,935 --> 00:07:28,And it's even made.
00:07:28,902 --> 00:07:30,Our second honeymoon.
00:07:30,802 --> 00:07:34,Just you and me together
for the whole weekend.
00:07:43,738 --> 00:07:45,Gee, Al, I wish
you could feel my heart.
00:07:46,105 --> 00:07:47,I wish I could feel your throat.
00:07:51,973 --> 00:07:53,But enough foreplay.
00:07:54,107 --> 00:07:57,This is our honeymoon and I say we
shouldn't waste another minute of it.
00:07:57,808 --> 00:08:00,Oh, baby.
00:08:00,509 --> 00:08:05,Well, I haven't seen you like this
since Ginger week on Gilligan's Island.
00:08:06,243 --> 00:08:08,So, what'd you have in mind?
00:08:09,010 --> 00:08:10,First we get out of these clothes...
00:08:10,811 --> 00:08:15,...and then start things off
with a good, long, hard nap.
00:08:15,545 --> 00:08:17,-Nap?
-Yes, Peg. Just you and me.
00:08:17,579 --> 00:08:21,-Or better yet, just you.
-But, Al, I wanted to fool around.
00:08:22,047 --> 00:08:25,Oh, Peg, that'd be just like
our first honeymoon.
00:08:26,380 --> 00:08:29,Well, not if we fool around together.
00:08:35,115 --> 00:08:37,-Just a quickie, Al.
-Peg.
00:08:37,716 --> 00:08:41,Please, just a quickie. I promise.
And then I'll go right to sleep.
00:08:43,650 --> 00:08:45,Oh, all right.
00:08:45,651 --> 00:08:48,But make it quick
because I'm not in the mood--
00:09:12,723 --> 00:09:16,-Hey, buddy, can you help me out?
-No, sorry, I already gave at the wife.
00:09:27,460 --> 00:09:30,I'm here to see Mary Ellen.
00:09:30,327 --> 00:09:31,Oh, she's upstairs.
00:09:32,161 --> 00:09:36,-Hey, aren't you Al Bundy?
-Himself.
00:09:37,429 --> 00:09:40,-How'd you know?
-Everybody knows you, Mr. Bundy.
00:09:44,630 --> 00:09:47,That's the thing about coming home,
they never forget you.
00:10:00,033 --> 00:10:02,Say, little girl, you look familiar.
00:10:02,367 --> 00:10:06,You wouldn't happen to be
Mary Ellen's daughter, by any chance?
00:10:06,468 --> 00:10:09,Me? No. I'm Jackie, her niece.
00:10:09,568 --> 00:10:12,Yes! I knew it.
00:10:12,436 --> 00:10:14,My dream girl's still untouched.
00:10:15,036 --> 00:10:16,All Aunt Mary's kids are grown.
00:10:18,837 --> 00:10:20,Oh, well, what did you expect...
00:10:20,770 --> 00:10:23,...the same little virgin
you used to walk to school?
00:10:23,838 -->...
00:01:27,095 --> 00:01:30,We just came by to borrow
some lawn chairs.
00:01:32,496 --> 00:01:34,Jefferson's taking me to the beach.
00:01:34,729 --> 00:01:36,The beach, huh?
00:01:36,296 --> 00:01:39,Gee, I can't remember the last time
Al took me to the beach.
00:01:39,464 --> 00:01:42,Can't remember
the last time Al took me.
00:01:42,498 --> 00:01:45,-Sure as hell wasn't at the beach.
-Oh, Peggy.
00:01:45,866 --> 00:01:50,It's such a shame you didn't marry
into your own species.
00:01:50,933 --> 00:01:53,Vertebrates love to go places
with their wives.
00:01:53,933 --> 00:01:56,-Take Jefferson.
-Like you wouldn't want him back.
00:01:59,034 --> 00:02:00,For example, I meant.
00:02:00,835 --> 00:02:03,In the book that I g***t him,
The Woman Is Always Right...
00:02:08,870 --> 00:02:12,...Jefferson has learned the ABC's
of any good marriage are--
00:02:12,670 --> 00:02:16,Appreciation, balance
and consideration.
00:02:16,304 --> 00:02:20,Well, you know, Al believes
in the ABC's of a good marriage too.
00:02:20,639 --> 00:02:23,Only his are air conditioning, beer...
00:02:23,440 --> 00:02:27,...and "Could you shut up so I can
enjoy my air conditioning and beer?"
00:02:36,243 --> 00:02:39,Come on, Marcie,
your stuff's in the garage.
00:02:39,776 --> 00:02:43,Al, how come you never take me
to the beach?
00:02:43,644 --> 00:02:46,What's the point?
You'd just find your way back.
00:02:49,178 --> 00:02:51,I really wish
you two were coming with us.
00:02:51,478 --> 00:02:53,I hate seeing Al shirtless
as much as anyone...
00:02:53,979 --> 00:02:57,...but there's no better way
to keep the flies off the food.
00:03:01,580 --> 00:03:03,On the bright side,
there's no lifeguard...
00:03:03,681 --> 00:03:07,...that would give her
mouth-to-beak resuscitation.
00:03:07,781 --> 00:03:10,Hey, guess what happened to me today
at the shoe store.
00:03:10,516 --> 00:03:14,A cop came in,
gave you a ticket for loitering?
00:03:14,717 --> 00:03:17,So no friends at all
are enough for you now?
00:03:18,484 --> 00:03:21,-I'm sorry, Al. Go ahead.
-Okay.
00:03:22,252 --> 00:03:24,Jefferson, was there ever a girl
in your life...
00:03:25,119 --> 00:03:29,...that you were so nuts about, so crazy
for, so unbelievably in love with...
00:03:29,753 --> 00:03:31,...that you would do anything
she asked you?
00:03:32,320 --> 00:03:35,Yes, Marcie.
00:03:35,787 --> 00:03:37,Really?
00:03:37,988 --> 00:03:40,Yep. Marcie McGuire,
my third grade teacher.
00:03:42,289 --> 00:03:44,I remember she used to wear
this certain skirt...
00:03:44,756 --> 00:03:48,...and sometimes if there was a lot
of static electricity in the air it would--
00:03:48,924 --> 00:03:51,Jefferson, this is my story.
00:03:55,591 --> 00:03:57,What would it do?
00:03:58,058 --> 00:04:00,Cling to her bottom.
00:04:03,894 --> 00:04:06,Anyway, there I was
in the shoe store...
00:04:06,561 --> 00:04:07,...and guess who I heard from?
00:04:08,194 --> 00:04:10,Mary Ellen Listfield.
00:04:10,362 --> 00:04:12,My Marcie McGuire.
00:04:12,695 --> 00:04:13,You should've seen her.
00:04:14,062 --> 00:04:18,She was the most beautiful girl in
the neighborhood. I was so in love.
00:04:18,530 --> 00:04:19,So...
00:04:21,164 --> 00:04:22,...did you do her?
00:04:24,298 --> 00:04:27,You're a toad,
you know that, Jefferson?
00:04:27,198 --> 00:04:31,Why would I say I was in love with her
if I ever had s***x with her?
00:04:38,367 --> 00:04:40,Good point, Al. You're right.
So go ahead. What happened?
00:04:41,168 --> 00:04:44,Well, she went off to college...
00:04:44,202 --> 00:04:47,...but before she went I told her
if she ever needed anything to call.
00:04:48,136 --> 00:04:51,-And today she did.
-So now you're gonna do her.
00:04:52,570 --> 00:04:54,My doing days are over, Jefferson.
00:04:54,803 --> 00:04:57,I'm done.
00:05:02,272 --> 00:05:03,But get this.
00:05:03,739 --> 00:05:06,She's back in the neighborhood
running her father's old soda shop.
00:05:06,973 --> 00:05:09,Now, a few kids in the neighborhood
are giving her a bad time.
00:05:10,107 --> 00:05:12,So I'm gonna go
straighten things out.
00:05:12,541 --> 00:05:16,-What're you gonna tell Peggy?
-Same thing I've told her my whole life.
00:05:23,110 --> 00:05:26,That what I do
is none of her d***n business!
00:05:32,545 --> 00:05:34,Al, Al, Al.
00:05:34,945 --> 00:05:37,Have you ever read the book:
00:05:37,213 --> 00:05:39,The Man Is Always Right?
00:05:40,180 --> 00:05:42,No. Wife wouldn't let me.
00:05:43,281 --> 00:05:47,Well, in the chapter titled,
"My God, Is She Still Here?"...
00:05:49,782 --> 00:05:52,...it states that the longer
a couple has been married...
00:05:52,615 --> 00:05:55,...the less likely a man
can hide anything from his wife.
00:05:56,516 --> 00:05:59,There hasn't been a woman made yet
smart enough to read Al Bundy.
00:06:01,350 --> 00:06:02,Hi, Peg.
00:06:03,585 --> 00:06:05,What're you hiding?
00:06:06,752 --> 00:06:10,-I was at the shoe store today when--
-When, when...
00:06:10,619 --> 00:06:12,...when he realized
that he hasn't taken you...
00:06:13,086 --> 00:06:15,...on that second honeymoon
that you've always dreamed of.
00:06:15,887 --> 00:06:17,And now he is.
00:06:18,154 --> 00:06:21,-Now I **?
-Oh, Al, you are?
00:06:21,488 --> 00:06:25,-You really do care.
-But Peg, I don't. I swear that I don't.
00:06:26,089 --> 00:06:28,I gotta go tell Marcie.
00:06:38,325 --> 00:06:40,Okay, I know what you're thinking.
00:06:41,126 --> 00:06:43,Then why aren't you
crossing your legs?
00:06:50,328 --> 00:06:51,Look, Al, don't you get it?
00:06:52,161 --> 00:06:54,Now she can't suspect anything.
00:06:54,562 --> 00:06:58,All you do is you just go get
a hotel near the old neighborhood...
00:06:58,596 --> 00:07:04,...and after you take care of business,
then you can go take care of business.
00:07:04,997 --> 00:07:09,But that means
I have to s***x with my wife.
00:07:09,331 --> 00:07:14,Hey. Sometimes if you wanna win
the war you have to burn the village.
00:07:19,700 --> 00:07:21,Al, this is so exciting.
00:07:22,134 --> 00:07:23,Look at this room.
00:07:23,935 --> 00:07:25,Look at this bed.
00:07:25,935 --> 00:07:28,And it's even made.
00:07:28,902 --> 00:07:30,Our second honeymoon.
00:07:30,802 --> 00:07:34,Just you and me together
for the whole weekend.
00:07:43,738 --> 00:07:45,Gee, Al, I wish
you could feel my heart.
00:07:46,105 --> 00:07:47,I wish I could feel your throat.
00:07:51,973 --> 00:07:53,But enough foreplay.
00:07:54,107 --> 00:07:57,This is our honeymoon and I say we
shouldn't waste another minute of it.
00:07:57,808 --> 00:08:00,Oh, baby.
00:08:00,509 --> 00:08:05,Well, I haven't seen you like this
since Ginger week on Gilligan's Island.
00:08:06,243 --> 00:08:08,So, what'd you have in mind?
00:08:09,010 --> 00:08:10,First we get out of these clothes...
00:08:10,811 --> 00:08:15,...and then start things off
with a good, long, hard nap.
00:08:15,545 --> 00:08:17,-Nap?
-Yes, Peg. Just you and me.
00:08:17,579 --> 00:08:21,-Or better yet, just you.
-But, Al, I wanted to fool around.
00:08:22,047 --> 00:08:25,Oh, Peg, that'd be just like
our first honeymoon.
00:08:26,380 --> 00:08:29,Well, not if we fool around together.
00:08:35,115 --> 00:08:37,-Just a quickie, Al.
-Peg.
00:08:37,716 --> 00:08:41,Please, just a quickie. I promise.
And then I'll go right to sleep.
00:08:43,650 --> 00:08:45,Oh, all right.
00:08:45,651 --> 00:08:48,But make it quick
because I'm not in the mood--
00:09:12,723 --> 00:09:16,-Hey, buddy, can you help me out?
-No, sorry, I already gave at the wife.
00:09:27,460 --> 00:09:30,I'm here to see Mary Ellen.
00:09:30,327 --> 00:09:31,Oh, she's upstairs.
00:09:32,161 --> 00:09:36,-Hey, aren't you Al Bundy?
-Himself.
00:09:37,429 --> 00:09:40,-How'd you know?
-Everybody knows you, Mr. Bundy.
00:09:44,630 --> 00:09:47,That's the thing about coming home,
they never forget you.
00:10:00,033 --> 00:10:02,Say, little girl, you look familiar.
00:10:02,367 --> 00:10:06,You wouldn't happen to be
Mary Ellen's daughter, by any chance?
00:10:06,468 --> 00:10:09,Me? No. I'm Jackie, her niece.
00:10:09,568 --> 00:10:12,Yes! I knew it.
00:10:12,436 --> 00:10:14,My dream girl's still untouched.
00:10:15,036 --> 00:10:16,All Aunt Mary's kids are grown.
00:10:18,837 --> 00:10:20,Oh, well, what did you expect...
00:10:20,770 --> 00:10:23,...the same little virgin
you used to walk to school?
00:10:23,838 -->...
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Download, translate and share Married.With.Children.S08E02.Hood.In.The.Boyz.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP5.1.H.264-Azkars_track3_[eng] srt subtitles in English and many other languages. Explore a worldwide collection of user-contributed, accurate subtitles.