Married.With.Children.S08E04.Luck.Of.The.Bundys.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP5.1.H.264-Azkars_track3_[eng] Subtitles

00:01:27,052 --> 00:01:29,-Hi, Al. How was work?
-Horrible, Peg.

00:01:29,488 --> 00:01:32,-I fell off a ladder and I hurt my--
-Well, that's nice.

00:01:33,492 --> 00:01:35,Because I want you in a good mood.

00:01:35,294 --> 00:01:38,Honey, I bought a new dress.
How do you like it?

00:01:41,400 --> 00:01:44,Well, I don't know, Peg.
I'd have to see it without you in it.

00:01:46,100 --> 00:01:47,What do you need a new dress for?

00:01:47,867 --> 00:01:50,There's nobody inside the TV
looking at you.

00:01:52,367 --> 00:01:54,Well, I bought it so I'd be ready.

00:01:54,401 --> 00:01:58,See? My horoscope says:
"Buy a new dress.

00:01:58,367 --> 00:02:02,You're about to embark on a new and
unique undertaking." Isn't that great?

00:02:02,833 --> 00:02:06,Well, the undertaking
has a kind of a nice ring to it.

00:02:07,098 --> 00:02:09,But Peg, I don't believe
in horoscopes.

00:02:10,198 --> 00:02:14,And yet you believe in a 19-year-old
in Playboy pouring honey on her tush...

00:02:14,763 --> 00:02:17,...is really interested
in saving the environment.

00:02:17,261 --> 00:02:18,I never said I believed her...

00:02:18,993 --> 00:02:22,...just that I supported her
and loved her very much.

00:02:24,591 --> 00:02:27,Let's just do your horoscope, Magoo.

00:02:27,688 --> 00:02:29,Now when's your birthday?

00:02:33,584 --> 00:02:35,It's two months after yours.

00:02:35,349 --> 00:02:38,The only difference
is that I have mine every year.

00:02:39,346 --> 00:02:41,Look, Al, you're a Cancer.

00:02:44,542 --> 00:02:46,Right back at you.

00:02:48,337 --> 00:02:50,Honey, you have
an amazing horoscope.

00:02:51,035 --> 00:02:53,It says-- Now brace yourself.

00:02:54,132 --> 00:02:56,"Good luck's a-coming."

00:02:56,829 --> 00:02:59,Oh, well, that's a-different.

00:03:00,991 --> 00:03:03,I always thought horoscopes
were a lot of hooey...

00:03:03,355 --> 00:03:05,...but after hearing
"good luck's a-coming"...

00:03:06,185 --> 00:03:09,...I realize they're based
on hard scientific data.

00:03:09,781 --> 00:03:11,Tell me, does it say
anything in there...

00:03:11,812 --> 00:03:14,...about "The wife is a-leaving"?

00:03:20,368 --> 00:03:23,"And the kids are a-with her"?

00:03:26,793 --> 00:03:28,Hey, Daddy.

00:03:34,483 --> 00:03:36,Daddy, I'm afraid I have
bad news for you.

00:03:36,979 --> 00:03:40,Well, pumpkin, that can't be.

00:03:41,174 --> 00:03:45,The horror with the scope here says,
"Good luck's a-coming."

00:03:47,499 --> 00:03:50,The health inspector's closing
the diner for two days.

00:03:50,561 --> 00:03:54,-Well, that's not so bad.
-Well, then they're tearing it down.

00:03:55,054 --> 00:03:56,Can you believe it? I'm unemployed.

00:03:56,919 --> 00:04:00,And it's all because
of those stupid raisin cookies.

00:04:00,647 --> 00:04:04,What, the raisin cookies
you were getting me free every day?

00:04:04,908 --> 00:04:10,Yeah. You know, it turns out that only
half the raisins were actually raisins.

00:04:18,057 --> 00:04:20,Well, what was the other half?

00:04:21,218 --> 00:04:24,Oh, believe me, Daddy,
you do not wanna know.

00:04:25,678 --> 00:04:29,Oh, well, I guess I'm out of a J-O-D.

00:04:30,606 --> 00:04:35,All right. Well, now I guess you won't
have enough money to move O-U-L.

00:04:36,897 --> 00:04:38,Well, not necessarily.

00:04:38,496 --> 00:04:43,One of the guys from the extermination
company that deloused me...

00:04:43,289 --> 00:04:47,...remembered me as the Verminator
and want me to be their local mascot.

00:04:47,184 --> 00:04:49,Here's the part
that's important to you.

00:04:49,181 --> 00:04:52,You're going to tell me what the
other half of those raisins were?

00:04:53,609 --> 00:04:56,I can't, Daddy. The guys from
the Atomic Energy Commission...

00:04:56,573 --> 00:04:59,...said mum's the word on this one.

00:04:59,968 --> 00:05:02,Anyway...

00:05:02,366 --> 00:05:05,...the good news is,
I'll be making more than at the diner...

00:05:05,428 --> 00:05:07,...and I'll be able to move
sooner than I thought.

00:05:08,225 --> 00:05:09,Well, I'd better get busy.

00:05:09,591 --> 00:05:12,I'm under court order
to burn this uniform.

00:05:14,052 --> 00:05:17,-Remember to take it off first, honey.
-Oh, thanks, Mom.

00:05:20,180 --> 00:05:23,All right, now won't you admit
that your horoscope is right?

00:05:23,609 --> 00:05:26,-Good luck is a-coming.
-Come on, Peg.

00:05:27,039 --> 00:05:29,Even if Kelly does leave,
Bud'll still be here.

00:05:29,337 --> 00:05:32,Having only one kid is like having
only one noose around your neck.

00:05:44,756 --> 00:05:47,Family, good news.

00:05:47,654 --> 00:05:49,I pledged a fraternity today...

00:05:49,320 --> 00:05:51,...and if I'm accepted
I'm moving to the frat house.

00:05:51,851 --> 00:05:54,Al, did you hear that?

00:05:54,783 --> 00:05:58,I can't believe it.
I'm finally gonna be a cool frat dude.

00:05:59,546 --> 00:06:02,I'll have respect. I'll have honor.

00:06:02,444 --> 00:06:04,I'll be my own man.

00:06:07,008 --> 00:06:09,Dad, can I have some money?

00:06:11,040 --> 00:06:13,I gotta go buy a tutu
with a trap door in it.

00:06:14,238 --> 00:06:17,They're gonna spank me on the corner
of 5th and Main for my initiation.

00:06:19,936 --> 00:06:21,Make me proud, son.

00:06:21,901 --> 00:06:23,Bula bula, big guy.

00:06:26,133 --> 00:06:29,-Do you realize what this means?
-Yes, Peg, I do.

00:06:29,332 --> 00:06:33,After Bud's arrested, all four of us will
have a record for indecent exposure.

00:06:33,964 --> 00:06:36,Honey, why is it so hard
for you to admit...

00:06:36,230 --> 00:06:38,...that you're having good luck?

00:06:38,930 --> 00:06:41,Peg, have you ever heard
of the Bundy curse?

00:06:42,162 --> 00:06:44,You mean that foot odor thing?

00:06:47,396 --> 00:06:49,The other curse.

00:06:49,728 --> 00:06:51,See, the minute a Bundy
starts having good luck...

00:06:52,162 --> 00:06:56,...he immediately starts to build up
an equal amount of bad luck.

00:06:56,228 --> 00:06:58,It's simple Bundy-nomics.

00:06:59,895 --> 00:07:01,For example...

00:07:01,329 --> 00:07:04,...when I was 18 and scored
four touchdowns in one game...

00:07:04,562 --> 00:07:07,...I became the greatest football
player in the history of Polk High.

00:07:08,562 --> 00:07:10,And what bad thing
happened after that?

00:07:15,798 --> 00:07:18,Like I'm the one that said,
"Al, show no ambition.

00:07:19,132 --> 00:07:22,We can live off of your income
of rocks and leaves."

00:07:23,700 --> 00:07:25,There is nothing wrong
with having good luck.

00:07:26,135 --> 00:07:29,Yes, there is. And you know what's
worse than a Bundy having good luck?

00:07:30,170 --> 00:07:33,A Bundy wearing Speedos
while having good luck?

00:07:38,440 --> 00:07:40,Good guess, Peg. No.

00:07:40,741 --> 00:07:42,A Bundy admitting
he's having good luck...

00:07:42,944 --> 00:07:44,...because that's
when the bad luck starts.

00:07:45,778 --> 00:07:49,Look, I don't care what you say.
Good luck is a-coming.

00:07:53,016 --> 00:07:55,-Peg, you won't believe this.
-I know, Al.

00:07:55,651 --> 00:07:58,A fat woman came
in the shoe store today.

00:07:59,021 --> 00:08:01,No, actually, an attractive woman
came in today.

00:08:02,057 --> 00:08:05,Nothing but attractive women
came in today.

00:08:06,060 --> 00:08:09,So, what you're trying to say
is that you had a good day?

00:08:09,730 --> 00:08:12,No! You know I can't say that.

00:08:12,366 --> 00:08:15,It was okay, that's all.

00:08:17,738 --> 00:08:19,I hit every green light.

00:08:21,075 --> 00:08:25,All the songs on the oldie station
were some of my all-time favorites.

00:08:25,546 --> 00:08:28,A cop pulled me over
and told me my taillight was out.

00:08:28,615 --> 00:08:30,Gave me his.

00:08:35,223 --> 00:08:36,But I wouldn't say it was a good day.

00:08:37,792 --> 00:08:40,Well, here's some more good news
you won't wanna hear about.

00:08:40,763 --> 00:08:43,It seems that Kelly is gonna
appear as the Verminator...

00:08:43,667 --> 00:08:45,...at Bud's homecoming rally.

00:08:45,635 --> 00:08:48,A few more gigs like this
and she will be able to move out soon.

00:08:49,007 --> 00:08:52,Yeah, well, how about Bud?
He didn't get in that fraternity, did he?

00:08:52,644 --> 00:08:56,No. Fraternities have standards
and they have traditions, you know?

00:09:05,596 --> 00:09:08,Gamma gamma sigma pi

00:09:08,299 --> 00:09:10,Gonna, gonna get some thigh

00:09:14,642 --> 00:09:15,I'm in.

00:09:15,910 --> 00:09:19,Words a male Bundy
has never uttered before.

00:09:23,955 --> 00:09:24,It's gonna be...