The Comedy (2012).en Subtitles

00:00:34,349 --> 00:00:39,♪ When we're out in the moonlight ♪

00:00:39,454 --> 00:00:44,♪ lookin' up on skies above ♪

00:00:44,526 --> 00:00:47,♪ feels so good ♪

00:00:47,162 --> 00:00:49,♪ when I'm near you ♪

00:00:49,730 --> 00:00:51,♪ holding hands ♪

00:00:51,483 --> 00:00:53,♪ and making love ♪

00:00:53,168 --> 00:00:54,♪ whoo, whoo, baby ♪

00:00:58,239 --> 00:01:01,♪ yes, oh, baby ♪

00:01:03,211 --> 00:01:05,♪ yes, oh, baby ♪

00:01:08,416 --> 00:01:11,♪ yes, oh, baby ♪

00:01:15,223 --> 00:01:16,♪ Sandy beecher ♪

00:01:16,724 --> 00:01:20,♪ was making love ♪

00:01:20,428 --> 00:01:25,♪ as it travels in our lives ♪

00:01:25,599 --> 00:01:26,♪ feels so good ♪

00:01:26,935 --> 00:01:30,♪ walkin' side by side ♪

00:01:30,837 --> 00:01:32,♪ want to be with you ♪

00:01:32,574 --> 00:01:34,♪ all my life ♪

00:01:34,342 --> 00:01:39,♪ whoa, oh, baby ♪

00:01:39,480 --> 00:01:41,♪ yes, oh, baby ♪

00:01:44,652 --> 00:01:46,♪ yes, oh, baby ♪

00:02:23,524 --> 00:02:25,Whoo!

00:03:31,592 --> 00:03:33,No bedsores?

00:03:33,026 --> 00:03:35,Clear.

00:03:35,697 --> 00:03:36,No pulse?

00:03:36,898 --> 00:03:38,Clear.

00:03:46,074 --> 00:03:48,Why do you keep having
to push them buttons?

00:03:48,342 --> 00:03:53,Sometimes things
need to be reset.

00:03:53,614 --> 00:03:56,Did you ever have to
reset a prolapsed anus?

00:04:03,591 --> 00:04:06,Do you even... Do you
know what that is?

00:04:06,728 --> 00:04:09,Have you ever... Have
you ever had to deal

00:04:09,767 --> 00:04:10,with a prolapsed an... anus?

00:04:13,767 --> 00:04:15,Chief?

00:04:18,439 --> 00:04:22,Did they teach you
that in nurse school?

00:04:22,976 --> 00:04:25,You and the ladies
get that lesson?

00:04:25,446 --> 00:04:30,I'll tell you what. I'll give
you a little lesson on it.

00:04:30,049 --> 00:04:35,A prolapsed anus is when the
anus, which is a muscle, gives

00:04:35,554 --> 00:04:37,out, after years of abuse.

00:04:37,823 --> 00:04:45,Comes out of the rear and hangs
like a, like a slack bag of tissue.

00:04:46,834 --> 00:04:53,Like a purse that you might have...
A nurse would have.

00:04:53,541 --> 00:04:58,Can you imagine what it would
take to make your anus do that?

00:04:58,012 --> 00:05:00,A lot of butt f***g.

00:05:03,684 --> 00:05:08,The old man's probably g***t
a prolapsed amus... anus.

00:05:11,793 --> 00:05:13,Anus and Andy.

00:05:15,997 --> 00:05:17,Nothing?

00:05:25,105 --> 00:05:27,Famous anus cookies.

00:05:27,040 --> 00:05:28,Anything there?

00:05:35,550 --> 00:05:36,So you change my dad?

00:05:36,983 --> 00:05:41,You put diapers on him and
clean his a***e, and take...

00:05:41,956 --> 00:05:48,Put his s***t in a bag, throw it
out, put it down the toilet?

00:06:01,041 --> 00:06:02,Pretty cool.

00:06:02,877 --> 00:06:04,Pretty cool way to live.

00:06:08,850 --> 00:06:12,I wonder if my dad's s***t
has ever gotten under your

00:06:12,085 --> 00:06:13,fingernails, and then you
forgot, and you are driving

00:06:13,654 --> 00:06:18,home, worrying about... worrying
about your life, and you start

00:06:18,493 --> 00:06:21,biting your fingernails, and
his s***t gets in your mouth.

00:06:21,495 --> 00:06:23,You g***t to be careful.

00:06:23,029 --> 00:06:25,Make sure you wash them hands.

00:06:27,702 --> 00:06:29,Okay.

00:06:29,569 --> 00:06:31,Adios.

00:09:03,423 --> 00:09:05,Yeah.

00:09:40,695 --> 00:09:42,What's up?

00:09:50,471 --> 00:09:54,I know, but we can bring
something else in, right?

00:09:54,041 --> 00:09:57,Do we need something with
evergreens that's gonna last...

00:09:57,745 --> 00:09:59,I just want you to look
at this bush here because

00:09:59,880 --> 00:10:02,it's looking really...
It's pretty bad.

00:10:02,015 --> 00:10:06,Yeah, I don't know if
there's a bug on it.

00:10:06,119 --> 00:10:07,Look at the leaves on there.

00:10:07,954 --> 00:10:11,And it's all been chewed,
and it's unbalanced.

00:10:11,824 --> 00:10:13,It doesn't fit.

00:10:13,459 --> 00:10:16,Yeah, and it's blocking
this thing here.

00:10:16,731 --> 00:10:20,Most of when you get the flies, they...
the cuts are much more round.

00:10:20,101 --> 00:10:23,That could be the larvae
going through it.

00:10:23,203 --> 00:10:27,But I remember a grapevine...
It's comin' along, huh?

00:10:27,373 --> 00:10:30,Yeah, yeah, looks great.
Getting there.

00:10:30,242 --> 00:10:31,Good job.

00:10:31,245 --> 00:10:33,Hey, what are these?

00:10:33,346 --> 00:10:35,These are looking very weedy.

00:10:35,148 --> 00:10:38,Those are out of here, right?

00:10:38,382 --> 00:10:42,I love the black-eyed Susan.

00:10:42,919 --> 00:10:45,Nadar LA piscina, I guess.

00:10:45,390 --> 00:10:48,Nadar LA piscina.

00:10:48,026 --> 00:10:51,Yeah, yeah, sure. It's my guys
here don't speak any English.

00:10:51,231 --> 00:10:56,They keep saying, "nadar LA
piscina, nadar LA piscina!

00:10:56,068 --> 00:10:56,Swim in your pool."

00:10:56,937 --> 00:11:00,So they're always going
to me "nadar LA piscina?"

00:11:00,939 --> 00:11:02,That's great. "Can we
swim in their pool?"

00:11:02,976 --> 00:11:07,I go, "well, you know,
it's private property.

00:11:07,380 --> 00:11:10,Yeah, it's gotten hot
out here for sure.

00:11:10,918 --> 00:11:12,This is looking a little
troubled over here.

00:11:12,318 --> 00:11:15,This one's shading it so badly.

00:11:15,456 --> 00:11:18,Let's get more light under it.

00:11:18,359 --> 00:11:23,What do you say if me and my
guys took a quick little dip?

00:11:23,296 --> 00:11:24,What do you think?

00:11:29,303 --> 00:11:31,They want to swim.

00:11:33,908 --> 00:11:35,Why not?

00:11:35,976 --> 00:11:37,I suppose.

00:11:37,178 --> 00:11:40,Yeah, yeah, sure.

00:11:40,314 --> 00:11:41,Sure.

00:11:42,515 --> 00:11:44,Once they've finished here.

00:11:44,250 --> 00:11:47,They're gonna mow before
they go, as well, right?

00:11:47,155 --> 00:11:50,We can get you some towels. The
housekeeper will get you some towels.

00:11:50,491 --> 00:11:53,No, that's fine.

00:11:53,186 --> 00:11:53,Yeah.

00:12:19,186 --> 00:12:21,I had a great day.

00:12:21,020 --> 00:12:24,I went to the shopping mall.

00:12:24,625 --> 00:12:29,I feel so good about hanging out
with my best friends today.

00:12:29,196 --> 00:12:30,Who are your best friends?

00:12:30,630 --> 00:12:32,All my loved ones
are in this room.

00:12:33,000 --> 00:12:36,I want to thank everybody for
being so kind and considerate.

00:12:36,470 --> 00:12:41,How about a round of applause
just for the five of us?

00:12:41,041 --> 00:12:45,I respect my friends that come to
my house that has an artistic vibe.

00:12:45,412 --> 00:12:48,Obviously, the host of
this house cares about

00:12:48,182 --> 00:12:51,art and the visual space
and the energy within, and

00:12:51,652 --> 00:12:55,he respects all his friends that
he invites over here equally.

00:12:55,054 --> 00:12:59,I love when I go to my
friend's house and their

00:12:59,226 --> 00:13:00,bathroom's really, really clean.

00:13:00,327 --> 00:13:06,There's not pubic hair on
the rim of the toilet seat.

00:13:06,600 --> 00:13:09,I'm with you on that.

00:13:09,035 --> 00:13:10,Yeah.

00:13:10,036 --> 00:13:14,Oh, and speaking of bathrooms,
I wanted to confess something.

00:13:14,606 --> 00:13:20,I used... you have a box of always feminine
wipes in there, and I used a couple.

00:13:20,179 --> 00:13:24,Just... my clitoris
was really messy.

00:13:24,350 --> 00:13:28,So I had to wash up.

00:13:28,419 --> 00:13:33,You have these terrific comedic
instincts, and then you

00:13:33,293 --> 00:13:36,immediately sabotage them
with the worst follow-up.

00:13:36,496 --> 00:13:37,The worst?

00:13:37,630 --> 00:13:40,A terrible sense of humor.

00:13:40,933 --> 00:13:43,So you know all comedians
ever, so you are qualified to

00:13:43,203 --> 00:13:45,say what is the absolute worst.
You've heard all comedians ever.

00:13:45,371 --> 00:13:46,No, it's in my opinion.

00:13:46,573 --> 00:13:49,Well, then you can't use an
absolute term like "the worst."

00:13:49,209 --> 00:13:50,I can do whatever I want.

00:13:50,277 --> 00:13:52,Then give me a French kiss.

00:13:52,346 --> 00:13:53,Well, fine, who disagrees?

00:13:53,948 --> 00:13:56,Does he have a terrible
sense of humor?

00:13:56,049 --> 00:13:57,Does he?

00:13:57,684 --> 00:13:58,Absolutely.

00:13:58,552 --> 00:14:00,The cool thing about a group of

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