Scary Movie 3 (2003).en.bug-fixed Subtitles

00:00:18.195 --> 00:00:21.I hate television.
Gives me headaches.

00:00:21.632 --> 00:00:24.There's so many magnetic
waves traveling in the airspace...

00:00:24.802 --> 00:00:26.because of TV and television.

00:00:26.737 --> 00:00:29.We're losing ten times as many
brain cells as we're supposed to.

00:00:29.506 --> 00:00:31.Oh, please!

00:00:32.109 --> 00:00:36."The cow says blank."
Three letters.

00:00:37.314 --> 00:00:40.- Dude!
- "Dude"!

00:00:40.551 --> 00:00:45.Magnetic waves, brain cells,
don't understand the connection.

00:00:45.823 --> 00:00:50.You know what else heard? Magnetic
waves shrink silicone molecules.

00:00:54.598 --> 00:00:56.- Oh, my God! Turn it off.
- It's not working.

00:00:57.167 --> 00:00:58.- It's backwards!
- What to do?

00:00:58.836 --> 00:01:00.I don't know.

00:01:04.241 --> 00:01:07.- That was kinda scary.
- I know something even scarier.

00:01:07.444 --> 00:01:09.- What?
- Have you heard about this videotape?

00:01:09.379 --> 00:01:12.The one where they do it on the boat?
Then in the car? And the bathtub?

00:01:12.850 --> 00:01:15.And he's like, "Baby, love you".
And she's like, "Where are we?"

00:01:16.860 --> 00:01:18.- And did you see the...
- No, not that tape.

00:01:19.123 --> 00:01:23.The one with all the scary images.
After you watch it, the phone rings...

00:01:23.560 --> 00:01:26.and this scary voice comes
on and says you are gonna die...

00:01:26.830 --> 00:01:29.In Seven days. I saw that
one wit Josh, last weekend.

00:01:29.366 --> 00:01:31.You were with Josh last weekend?

00:01:31.668 --> 00:01:33.Oh, my God!

00:01:35.772 --> 00:01:37.Oh, yes, I was.

00:01:38.475 --> 00:01:40.You ho!

00:01:43.800 --> 00:01:44.You know it!

00:01:58.128 --> 00:02:01.- This is really weird.
- Yeah.

00:02:01.398 --> 00:02:04.Big house, only one phone.

00:02:07.538 --> 00:02:09.Hello?

00:02:16.446 --> 00:02:21.- Hello?
- I'm coming for you, my precious.

00:02:21.919 --> 00:02:25.- Hi, Mom.
- Hi precious. Having fun?

00:02:25.956 --> 00:02:28.Hey, ask her which bathroom
has the vibrating showerhead.

00:02:31.295 --> 00:02:34.Hello?
Hello?

00:03:24.881 --> 00:03:26.Katie?

00:03:28.118 --> 00:03:30.Katie?

00:03:34.925 --> 00:03:36.Katie?

00:03:45.302 --> 00:03:47.Are you okay?

00:03:50.674 --> 00:03:52.Are you okay?

00:04:59.710 --> 00:05:03.Tom, did you hear...
The dogs are acting strange.

00:05:24.234 --> 00:05:25.D***n it!

00:05:26.690 --> 00:05:29.Sue! What are you doing out here?

00:05:30.400 --> 00:05:32.- We were worried sick.
- What's wrong?

00:05:43.420 --> 00:05:45.I wonder what they're
trying to tell us.

00:05:53.964 --> 00:05:57.And now, Washington's
leading morning news program...

00:05:57.968 --> 00:05:59."The Morning News".

00:05:59.603 --> 00:06:01.Good morning.
I'm Ross Giggins.

00:06:01.405 --> 00:06:02.For our top story:
we turn now...

00:06:03.173 --> 00:06:04....to Cindy Campbell.
- Thank you, Ross.

00:06:05.542 --> 00:06:06.There's a developing story...

00:06:06.877 --> 00:06:07.in Middleburg at this hour.

00:06:08.111 --> 00:06:10.A mysterious crop circle appeared...

00:06:10.313 --> 00:06:13.in local farmer Tom Logan's
cornfield.

00:06:13.216 --> 00:06:16.Elaborate prank or
extraterrestrial phenomenon?

00:06:16.753 --> 00:06:19.We'll update you as soon as
we have any further information...

00:06:19.923 --> 00:06:21.but either way, it's clear
something strange...

00:06:22.920 --> 00:06:24.is happening in that small town.

00:06:24.461 --> 00:06:28.- Ross.
- I'm sorry, I wasn't listening.

00:06:28.265 --> 00:06:30.Coming-up, more news after this.

00:06:32.569 --> 00:06:34.- Cindy, you g***t a second?
- Sure.

00:06:34.204 --> 00:06:37.I want you to take a look
at this big strip club exposé.

00:06:37.307 --> 00:06:41.- I'd rather stick with the crop circle.
- You know those things are a hoax.

00:06:41.778 --> 00:06:47.I sense something about that cornfield.
Women's intuition, or ESPN, or both.

00:06:47.517 --> 00:06:50.But I can tell when
danger's near. I just...

00:06:53.623 --> 00:06:56.It's sweeps month.
Rating mean everything.

00:06:57.127 --> 00:07:01.People want human-interest stories,
like the one you did yesterday.

00:07:01.331 --> 00:07:03.The report on breast augmentation?

00:07:03.633 --> 00:07:05.It was ten minutes of topless women.

00:07:06.102 --> 00:07:08.I mean, come on.

00:07:09.506 --> 00:07:12.Why are these so interesting?
Oh, for God's sake!

00:07:13.610 --> 00:07:16.People don't care about this.
They want hard-hitting stories...

00:07:16.646 --> 00:07:18.and in-depth coverage, and, and...

00:07:18.682 --> 00:07:20.And twins!

00:07:40.237 --> 00:07:43.You think it was the Kreisel boys
who cut that stuff into your corn?

00:07:43.740 --> 00:07:46.All I know is my crops are gone.

00:07:46.710 --> 00:07:49.The bank's gonna foreclose
if I can't pay the rent.

00:07:49.579 --> 00:07:52.I g***t sixty days to
come up with US$ 1,50.

00:07:54.184 --> 00:07:57.I'm sorry.
The last thing you needed...

00:07:58.555 --> 00:08:02.was more hardship in your life.
Especially after what happened to...

00:08:02.926 --> 00:08:07.- Sheriff, I don't need your sympathy.
- I didn't mean to upset you, Father.

00:08:07.731 --> 00:08:13.Please. I'm not a minister anymore.
I lost my faith that terrible night.

00:08:14.871 --> 00:08:19.Your fate will return, just
as sure as the sun will rise.

00:08:19.409 --> 00:08:20.Sounds like a long shot.

00:08:20.644 --> 00:08:25.Look, there's always an explanation
for all this so-called phenomenum.

00:08:25.448 --> 00:08:28.Maybe you're right.
It was probably just the Kreisels.

00:08:28.852 --> 00:08:34.When I get through with them, doubt
you'll be seeing anything strange.

00:08:34.624 --> 00:08:36.You'll see.

00:08:38.610 --> 00:08:40.You all right, Tom?
Get some rest.

00:08:48.471 --> 00:08:50.George!

00:08:52.750 --> 00:08:54.George!

00:08:56.120 --> 00:08:58.I need you back here tomorrow
night after you pick up Sue.

00:08:59.150 --> 00:09:02.- That tractor needs fixin'.
- Sorry, dog. Can't help you.

00:09:02.352 --> 00:09:06.- I have to get ready for my show.
- Not that stupid hip-hop stuff again.

00:09:06.656 --> 00:09:08.D***n it, George, when are you
gonna do something with your life?

00:09:09.125 --> 00:09:10.- I g***t a dream.
- What is your dream?

00:09:10.660 --> 00:09:14.- To have a dream.
- George, all you've done is chase...

00:09:14.464 --> 00:09:17.adolescent fantasies. You wanna
be an astronaut, a cowboy...

00:09:18.168 --> 00:09:21.gynecologist to the stars!
And now, this stupid hip hop thing!

00:09:21.871 --> 00:09:25.For your information, this
hip-hop thing's gonna get me paid.

00:09:25.442 --> 00:09:27.I'm gonna win that rap
battle tomorrow night.

00:09:27.310 --> 00:09:32.- Rap battle? Oh, for God's sake.
- You just hate me 'cause I'm black.

00:09:32.682 --> 00:09:34.You don't have any faith in me.

00:09:34.551 --> 00:09:36.You don't have any faith
in anything anymore.

00:09:36.419 --> 00:09:40.So why don't you just worry
about you, and I'll worry about...

00:09:58.800 --> 00:10:00.Cody!

00:10:00.744 --> 00:10:04.- You're late again, Aunt Cindy.
- I'm sorry, was stuck in traffic.

00:10:04.981 --> 00:10:06.Cindy!

00:10:06.316 --> 00:10:10.- Brenda, hi!
- It's great to see you!

00:10:11.421 --> 00:10:15.- It's been so long.
- Too long. I've been working so hard.

00:10:15.725 --> 00:10:17.I've had to spend more
and more time at the station.

00:10:17.927 --> 00:10:20.The news just keeps on coming in.

00:10:20.964 --> 00:10:25.- What was the assignment?
- Draw your family and friends.

00:10:25.335 --> 00:10:30.- So, anyone new in your life, Cindy?
- Just haven't found the right guy.

00:10:30.940 --> 00:10:33.I'm looking for something
more than just good s***x.

00:10:33.710 --> 00:10:36.- I know. You want commitment.
- No, want great s***x.

00:10:37.180 --> 00:10:40.- And when I meet that guy...
- That's what I'm talkin'bout!

00:10:40.617 --> 00:10:43.You want a guy that's like bam, bam,
bam! You know what I'm sayin'?

00:10:45.355 --> 00:10:47.Did I say stop drawing?

00:10:48.910 --> 00:10:50.Look, when I meet
Mr. Right, I'll know.

00:10:51.928 --> 00:10:57.- Uncle George!
- Hey, sweetie, come here.

00:10:58.268 --> 00:11:00.Go get your stuff, okay?

00:11:01.738 --> 00:11:07.- You're Tom Logan's brother.
- You're that reporter, Cindy Campbell.

00:11:07.544 --> 00:11:11.- You did the story on our "cop cycles".
- Crop circles.

00:11:11.214 --> 00:11:12.Right.

00:11:13.216 --> 00:11:16.947...