Chewing.Gum.s01e02.Binned.[MPup] Subtitles

At 00:00:01,000, Character said: I always thought white people were
bad kissers and it's not their fault,

2
At 00:00:03,400, Character said: it's just that they've g***t really
small lips and they can't embrace

3
At 00:00:05,960, Character said: the challenge of lips like mine.

4
At 00:00:08,000, Character said: And then they try and compensate

5
At 00:00:09,400, Character said: for their lack of lips with the
tongue and then the tongue ends up

6
At 00:00:11,520, Character said: everywhere, just flapping about,
you get my drift?

7
At 00:00:13,240, Character said: But Connor, he was good.

8
At 00:00:14,720, Character said: (CLANGING)

9
At 00:00:22,000, Character said: Hi. You alright?

10
At 00:00:30,520, Character said: Ah!
(KISSES)

11
At 00:00:31,960, Character said: Ah!
Connor!

12
At 00:00:39,320, Character said: (MUTTERS) Hello.

13
At 00:00:42,880, Character said: # Life ain't so great, yeah
They'll be dancing the moan

14
At 00:00:46,880, Character said: # And life ain't Hollywood
for any one of us

15
At 00:00:51,160, Character said: # If ever you're in doubt

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At 00:00:53,320, Character said: # Just get your wings out

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At 00:00:55,160, Character said: # Go on, darling, get your rhythm on

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At 00:00:58,600, Character said: # Somewhere else. #

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At 00:01:02,640, Character said: He ain't your boyfriend.
What's his name?

20
At 00:01:05,320, Character said: Connor.
Full name.

21
At 00:01:07,000, Character said: Connor grabbed my left boob.
Does he have a job?

22
At 00:01:08,840, Character said: Without dropping the left boob,
he went for the right.

23
At 00:01:10,640, Character said: Why does it matter if he's g***t a job?
Does Connor have a girlfriend?

24
At 00:01:13,320, Character said: Yeah, me.

25
At 00:01:15,360, Character said: You ain't even met his d***k yet.
Well, yeah, I have, so...

26
At 00:01:18,640, Character said: What's it like?
It's big.

27
At 00:01:21,400, Character said: How big?

28
At 00:01:22,440, Character said: If he put it up me, yeah,
it could've come through,

29
At 00:01:26,320, Character said: up, like, out my mouth, yeah,

30
At 00:01:28,120, Character said: and then, like, just tied a knot
around itself and strangled itself

31
At 00:01:30,880, Character said: till it was dead.

32
At 00:01:32,160, Character said: That's how big...it was.

33
At 00:01:34,800, Character said: Real talk.

34
At 00:01:37,600, Character said: A'ight, tell me this, yeah?
Is he circumcised?

35
At 00:01:43,000, Character said: What's his door number?
Er, it's...number 20...

36
At 00:01:46,960, Character said: 11!
11, that's what I said.

37
At 00:01:49,400, Character said: You have no idea how to make
a man your boyfriend.

38
At 00:01:52,040, Character said: Pall Malls, please.

39
At 00:01:53,640, Character said: My son nicked all mine,
f***g wayward b***d.

40
At 00:01:57,400, Character said: Er, menthol, please.

41
At 00:01:59,720, Character said: Oh, sorry.

42
At 00:02:02,800, Character said: Alright?
You alright, Mandy?

43
At 00:02:05,520, Character said: Do you hear Karly Raven g***t pregnant
by a Somali?

44
At 00:02:09,280, Character said: 10 pack, please.

45
At 00:02:11,480, Character said: Yeah, one of them pirate-looking
Somalians from Brick Lane -

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At 00:02:13,920, Character said: they look like pirates.

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At 00:02:16,480, Character said: Oh, er...you can't...

48
At 00:02:19,560, Character said: Sorry, theft is not allowed.
Excuse me?

49
At 00:02:22,200, Character said: I ain't thefted a thing.
I pay my way, I just...

50
At 00:02:25,520, Character said: I just came in here asking for
a bloody packet of Pall Malls!

51
At 00:02:28,720, Character said: No, it's 'cause there's cameras
now, innit?

52
At 00:02:30,800, Character said: Is there?

53
At 00:02:34,680, Character said: They new? Oh.

54
At 00:02:37,360, Character said: Fair enough, then.

55
At 00:02:39,880, Character said: Are Somalians black?

56
At 00:02:41,400, Character said: I've never been too sure.

57
At 00:02:43,200, Character said: I suppose there's various
different types of black.

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At 00:02:45,680, Character said: Somalis look a bit mixed race,
but, like...something went wrong.

59
At 00:02:50,200, Character said: OK, see you on the estate.

60
At 00:02:54,680, Character said: (DOORBELL CHIMES)

61
At 00:02:56,120, Character said: What a prat.
Why is she jacking baby food?

62
At 00:02:59,240, Character said: I know.

63
At 00:03:00,680, Character said: You should see her son.

64
At 00:03:02,560, Character said: Who is it? Who's her son?
Who's her son, tell me.

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At 00:03:05,560, Character said: Connor.

66
At 00:03:10,040, Character said: Dating is never easy and can often
throw up a lot of problems...

67
At 00:03:14,120, Character said: Agents of Satan,
we shan't be swayed.

68
At 00:03:17,160, Character said: ..promising to hook you up with
whoever you fancy

69
At 00:03:19,480, Character said: whenever you fancy it.

70
At 00:03:21,040, Character said: But how do you get beyond
that first date?

71
At 00:03:26,160, Character said: What's on your mind, dear?
Er...nothing.

72
At 00:03:30,000, Character said: Maybe you're pregnant.

73
At 00:03:31,880, Character said: Ha! What nonsense.
Ronald is a man of God.

74
At 00:03:35,640, Character said: Maybe he's not the father.
Oh, shut up!

75
At 00:03:37,640, Character said: Shut down and reboot.
No, shut up!

76
At 00:03:39,880, Character said: Hey! Hey! Hey!

77
At 00:03:41,280, Character said: (ALL CONTINUE ARGUING)

78
At 00:03:45,200, Character said: How is my future son-in-law?

79
At 00:03:48,280, Character said: God strike me down now!

80
At 00:03:50,800, Character said: (SHRIEKS)

81
At 00:03:52,440, Character said: Yeah, yeah, he's really good.

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At 00:03:56,240, Character said: Next up - from first date
to forever.

83
At 00:03:59,040, Character said: How to make the man
of your dreams...

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At 00:04:01,480, Character said: Mm, that would be Connor.
..your boyfriend.

85
At 00:04:03,880, Character said: We asked three of London's most
sought-after relationship gurus.

86
At 00:04:07,600, Character said: The gurus.

87
At 00:04:09,960, Character said: Yeah, I'll just ask them
as well, innit?

88
At 00:04:12,520, Character said: If he wants to put it in your bum
just breathe through it.

89
At 00:04:15,720, Character said: Don't start panicking, saying
it hurts, 'cause he will dump you.

90
At 00:04:19,480, Character said: Don't be there primarily
as a function or role.

91
At 00:04:22,520, Character said: Ebony, Mahogany, stop it, or I'll
put you into f***g foster care!

92
At 00:04:26,160, Character said: A field of conscious presence.

93
At 00:04:28,240, Character said: I like that.
Eckhart Tolle.

94
At 00:04:30,360, Character said: Was he in Star Wars?
No.

95
At 00:04:32,160, Character said: I think Dark Knight needs his feed.

96
At 00:04:33,840, Character said: Aww!
Dark Knight, is that a nickname?

97
At 00:04:36,400, Character said: BOTH: No.

98
At 00:04:38,200, Character said: Swallow it through the hard times.

99
At 00:04:40,760, Character said: Persevere.

100
At 00:04:42,000, Character said: My mother always says,

101
At 00:04:43,840, Character said: those who enjoy their coffee black,
tend to love the taste of semen.

102
At 00:04:49,240, Character said: Field of conscious presence

103
At 00:04:51,560, Character said: and support him,

104
At 00:04:53,520, Character said: impress him...be strong.

105
At 00:05:01,320, Character said: You're fuckin' jokin'. Don't be
a jobsworth, it's just baby food.

106
At 00:05:06,040, Character said: Uh, uh...no.
I just came for Connor.

107
At 00:05:10,240, Character said: Oh, great! You can help me
take a photo.

108
At 00:05:13,560, Character said: (DOG BARKS)

109
At 00:05:22,840, Character said: So, is Connor home?

110
At 00:05:24,560, Character said: No, no, no.

111
At 00:05:26,120, Character said: Yeah, yeah. Come on,
let's just...let's just do it.

112
At 00:05:29,680, Character said: Oh, it's nice to have a BFF
to do this stuff with.

113
At 00:05:33,400, Character said: Yeah, yeah, definitely.

114
At 00:05:35,200, Character said: Erm...I'm actually here for Connor.

115
At 00:05:37,760, Character said: It feels a bit weird talking to you
about this stuff.

116
At 00:05:39,480, Character said: No, don't be silly.
Come on, tell your girl.

117
At 00:05:41,560, Character said: I'm, sort of, trying to move things
past casual.

118
At 00:05:43,800, Character said: Nice! You'll have a task
and a half there, though.

119
At 00:05:46,960, Character said: He's never had a girlfriend.
What...never?

120
At 00:05:50,240, Character said: I suppose he's waiting for
the perfect one, who knows?

121
At 00:05:52,960, Character said: Uploading.

122
At 00:05:54,960, Character said: Thanks for this.

123
At 00:05:56,880, Character said: You putting that on the internet?

124
At 00:05:58,920, Character said: They say you're more likely
to get someone

125
At 00:06:00,560, Character said: if they know what you look like.

126
At 00:06:01,960, Character said: What is it, like, match.com?
Yeah, myfucksoulmate.co.uk

127
At 00:06:12,720, Character said: You look nice.
You look nice.

128
At 00:06:18,760, Character said: Um...

129
At 00:06:29,440, Character said: Ooh. Ah...

130
At 00:06:31,160, Character said: Yeah, I'll do it.

131
At 00:06:38,400, Character said: Ooh, tangled.
It's fine.

132
At 00:06:40,160, Character said: It's very tricky.
No, it's my, erm...

133
At 00:06:44,600, Character said: I wanna be your field
of conscious presence.

134
At 00:06:46,960, Character said: What do I take off first -
my bra or my skirt?

135
At 00:06:48,840, Character said: Do you wanna take any of it off?
No.

136
At 00:06:51,040, Character said: Well, you don't have to.
OK.

137
At 00:06:56,000, Character said: Oh!
Oh, my God, are you alright?

138
At 00:06:58,200, Character said: Yeah.
I'm sorry.

139
At 00:06:59,560, Character said: It's fine.

140
At 00:07:01,680, Character said: Aarggh!
Sorry, sorry.

141
At 00:07:03,240, Character said: It's alright, it's alright.

142
At 00:07:05,000, Character said: I don't know what I'm doing.

143
At 00:07:07,280, Character said: What's wrong?
I don't know what I'm doing.

144
At 00:07:09,640, Character said: It don't matter, I'll love it.
Just do what you want.

145...