Its Garry Shandlings s02e10 Mr Sparks Subtitles

00:00:23,130 --> 00:00:29,I... I... Thanks. Well, welcome to the

00:00:29,870 --> 00:00:33,show. And there's not much of a
monologue tonight because...

00:00:34,430 --> 00:00:35,I'm actually really excited.

00:00:36,090 --> 00:00:39,Well, I know you're disappointed. I've
never seen such a disappointed reaction.

00:00:40,090 --> 00:00:41,It slid right by you.

00:00:42,770 --> 00:00:45,Monologue? Not do a monologue? Oh,
honey, let's get out of here.

00:00:46,810 --> 00:00:51,I'm actually excited because I g***t a new
stereo VCR.

00:00:51,690 --> 00:00:52,Well,

00:00:53,230 --> 00:00:54,you're laughing at the wrong places.

00:00:57,470 --> 00:01:01,It's just a video recorder. I g***t this
stereo TV because I love...

00:01:01,480 --> 00:01:03,Stereo television. I mean, isn't it the
best, really?

00:01:05,360 --> 00:01:10,Yeah, it's... You never do really say,
it's not in stereo, why waste our time,

00:01:10,840 --> 00:01:11,do you?

00:01:11,700 --> 00:01:16,But I like watching Password in stereo,
because it's like, Betty White sounds

00:01:16,320 --> 00:01:20,like she's over here, and, you know,
Jamie Farr sounds like he's way over

00:01:22,140 --> 00:01:24,Bert Convy comes right out of both
speakers, right at you.

00:01:26,080 --> 00:01:31,And so then this way, I can now tape my
stereo programs and play them later at

00:01:31,040 --> 00:01:34,parties, because I have a lot of
really... Okay.

00:01:35,640 --> 00:01:39,I really don't have any. I don't like
parties, if the truth be known. It's

00:01:39,320 --> 00:01:41,really to the point now, if I'm not
invited, I don't even go.

00:01:43,880 --> 00:01:49,So, the deal is, this is my place.

00:01:50,020 --> 00:01:52,And, you know, Grant is...

00:01:54,160 --> 00:01:59,This is a wonderful angle I have on
Grant. You know, little Grant is helping

00:01:59,560 --> 00:02:05,install the video recorder because he's
really an electronics whiz. And so then

00:02:05,380 --> 00:02:09,I promised him as a reward for helping
me install this that I would take him

00:02:09,440 --> 00:02:12,anywhere he wants to go on Saturday, in
the car. You know, he loves going in the

00:02:12,980 --> 00:02:16,car. I crack the window down a little
and he sticks his head out.

00:02:16,980 --> 00:02:20,And the wind hits him in the face and,
you know, it's adorable.

00:02:20,680 --> 00:02:22,He thinks he's people, really.

00:02:26,500 --> 00:02:30,So, uh, now how much longer is this
gonna take, Grant? Oh, cool your jets,

00:02:30,380 --> 00:02:32,Gary. It'll be ready when it's ready.

00:02:35,020 --> 00:02:36,Sure he's g***t a hot temper.

00:02:37,600 --> 00:02:40,You know, I hope he uses his genius for
good, not evil.

00:02:46,440 --> 00:02:48,Uncle Gary, do you have any coaxial
crimpers?

00:02:48,960 --> 00:02:52,Oh, you know, I g***t some. I g***t a lot of
crimpers next to my bed.

00:02:52,780 --> 00:02:58,But I don't think any of them are
coaxial. It's g***t to be coaxial. It's

00:02:58,020 --> 00:03:01,be coaxial. Okay, well, you know what
I'll do? I'll go over to Solomon's

00:03:01,420 --> 00:03:05,Hardware Store and pick some up. Okay,
okay. It's about a two -minute walk from

00:03:05,360 --> 00:03:06,here.

00:03:06,650 --> 00:03:09,I hate to leave you hanging for two
minutes right in the middle of the show.

00:03:10,050 --> 00:03:13,Well, you know what? We can run the
opening theme. That's 41 seconds.

00:03:14,150 --> 00:03:18,And I'll run instead of walk, and I'll
be back in 41 seconds.

00:03:18,390 --> 00:03:20,So you won't be alone, okay?

00:03:20,290 --> 00:03:23,You time me. Ready, set, go.

00:03:26,990 --> 00:03:28,This is the theme to Gary's show.

00:03:29,150 --> 00:03:30,The theme to Gary's show.

00:03:30,990 --> 00:03:34,Gary called me up and asked if I would
write his theme song.

00:03:35,180 --> 00:03:39,I'm almost halfway finished. How do you
like it so far? How do you like the

00:03:39,460 --> 00:03:40,theme to Gary's show?

00:03:41,940 --> 00:03:46,This is the theme to Gary's show, the
opening theme to Gary's show. This is

00:03:46,480 --> 00:03:49,music that you hear as you watch the
credits.

00:03:49,820 --> 00:03:54,We're almost in the part of where I
start to whistle. Then we'll watch this

00:03:54,820 --> 00:03:55,Shandling show.

00:03:59,640 --> 00:04:03,This was the theme to Gary Shandling's
show.

00:04:22,890 --> 00:04:23,How close was I?

00:04:25,230 --> 00:04:28,I'm really sorry that took me a little
longer than the opening theme.

00:04:29,370 --> 00:04:32,Solomon's was out of crimpers and I had
to run down to the downtown store.

00:04:36,370 --> 00:04:37,How's it going, Grant?

00:04:37,490 --> 00:04:39,Oh, all right. Why?

00:04:40,630 --> 00:04:42,Why are you posing like you're in GQ?

00:04:44,350 --> 00:04:46,Oh, I don't know.

00:04:46,520 --> 00:04:47,I guess I'm just a cool guy.

00:04:48,060 --> 00:04:50,Would it have anything to do with the
fact that there's a hole in the wall?

00:04:51,060 --> 00:04:55,There's a beautiful, huge hole in the
wall, Grant. Look, I'm sorry.

00:04:55,880 --> 00:04:58,I just, I guess I yanked the cable too
hard.

00:04:58,880 --> 00:05:01,Oh, yeah, Grant always forgets about his
superhuman strength.

00:05:04,820 --> 00:05:07,You know, one time he actually sat in a
chair and it broke.

00:05:09,960 --> 00:05:12,Grant, it goes all the way through.

00:05:13,100 --> 00:05:14,To the next apartment.

00:05:16,000 --> 00:05:17,Hey, Mr.

00:05:18,380 --> 00:05:19,Sparks.

00:05:19,440 --> 00:05:21,Hey, I'm Gary Shandling, your next -door
neighbor.

00:05:23,020 --> 00:05:24,What is this hole doing here?

00:05:25,680 --> 00:05:28,Well, I'll come right over and explain
it to you. No, you won't.

00:05:29,140 --> 00:05:31,I don't want you to break anything in
here. I'll come over there.

00:05:33,040 --> 00:05:34,Right -o.

00:05:34,240 --> 00:05:35,Well, all right. This will be good.

00:05:36,080 --> 00:05:38,Oh, boy, what a crotchety old coot.

00:05:39,380 --> 00:05:42,Hey, come on, Grant. That's no way to
talk to older people, you know? They're

00:05:42,280 --> 00:05:44,very wise and they have a lot to offer.

00:05:47,400 --> 00:05:48,Who do you think that is?

00:05:52,040 --> 00:05:53,Hey.

00:05:53,820 --> 00:05:58,Mr. Sparks, really, it's good to see
you. You know, it's funny that this

00:05:58,280 --> 00:06:01,had to happen for us to really get to
know each other, isn't it? This is

00:06:01,620 --> 00:06:04,a godsend. I already know who you are.

00:06:05,450 --> 00:06:07,I hear you talking to yourself all the
time.

00:06:08,410 --> 00:06:11,Your car is always parked over the line
in my parking space.

00:06:11,930 --> 00:06:15,And I know that you steal the comics out
of my paper every Sunday.

00:06:16,010 --> 00:06:18,You know, Mary Worth isn't in the
recycler.

00:06:19,250 --> 00:06:21,So... Okay.

00:06:22,370 --> 00:06:23,Now, what the hell happened to my wall?

00:06:24,270 --> 00:06:30,Okay. Well, it's really nothing. You
know, and I was putting in this VCR.

00:06:30,270 --> 00:06:32,you know, the walls are very thin to
begin with in the apartment.

00:06:33,430 --> 00:06:34,So...

00:06:35,050 --> 00:06:36,Okay, well, he did it. He did it.

00:06:37,210 --> 00:06:40,I can't believe it myself, Mr. Sparks. I
was out at the hardware store, and I

00:06:40,470 --> 00:06:42,came back. What did you do? What did you
do?

00:06:45,330 --> 00:06:50,Look, I'm sorry, Mr. Sparks. I was just
hooking up Uncle Gary's stereo VCR for

00:06:50,210 --> 00:06:53,him, and I yanked the cable, and I
didn't know... Wait, wait, wait, wait,

00:06:53,530 --> 00:06:55,wait. Wait a minute here.

00:06:56,390 --> 00:06:59,He was doing your work, and you're
blaming him?

00:06:59,430 --> 00:07:01,Well, yeah. Can you believe it?

00:07:03,630 --> 00:07:05,Chandling, you're a bigger a***s than I
thought.

00:07:05,870 --> 00:07:06,Oh, yeah, Mr.

00:07:07,050 --> 00:07:08,Sparks. All right.

00:07:09,570 --> 00:07:13,You know, Grant, why don't you just run
along and I'll see you Saturday, okay?

00:07:13,350 --> 00:07:14,Okay. Yeah.

00:07:14,310 --> 00:07:17,I want to talk to Mr. Sparks. It was
nice meeting you, Mr. Sparks. Mm -hmm.

00:07:18,770 --> 00:07:20,Bye. See you again. You know, Mr.

00:07:21,250 --> 00:07:22,Sparks, look,

00:07:22,810 --> 00:07:26,I can take care of the whole. I know
you're a little upset about it, but all

00:07:26,170 --> 00:07:27,right, look.

00:07:28,290 --> 00:07:30,Why don't we just say three days have
passed.

00:07:30,940 --> 00:07:33,I've had the whole fix, and it's as good
as new.

00:07:33,880 --> 00:07:35,Okay? That's it.

00:07:35,520 --> 00:07:36,You see?

00:07:37,060 --> 00:07:38,Here,

00:07:38,340 --> 00:07:40,thank you very much. Great job. Good
job.

00:07:47,140 --> 00:07:50,It's all fixed up, and three days flew
by like that.

00:07:51,100 --> 00:07:52,Three days, huh? Yeah.

00:07:52,600 --> 00:07:53,Terrific, Shanling.

00:07:53,660 --> 00:07:54,I missed my medication.

00:07:57,700 --> 00:07:58,Well, you know, hey.

00:07:59,479 --> 00:08:02,laughter's the best...