its.always.sunny.in.philadelphia.s17e01.1080p.web.h264-successfulcrab[EZTVx.to] Subtitles

At 00:00:14,681, Character said: [Ava] So, as you may recall,
a little while back

2
At 00:00:27,561, Character said: Turns out these clowns were up
to a lot more than we knew.

3
At 00:00:30,631, Character said: Welcome to Abbott Elementary,

4
At 00:00:32,399, Character said: the best elementary school
in the universe.

5
At 00:00:34,134, Character said: What's the deal with
all the cameras?

6
At 00:00:35,769, Character said: We have, like,
a Vanderpump thing going on.

7
At 00:00:37,605, Character said: - Don't worry about it.
- No!

8
At 00:00:39,706, Character said: No. I think
I'll be spending my time
on the other side of the camera.

9
At 00:00:41,575, Character said: - Thank you very much.
- See?

10
At 00:00:43,277, Character said: - Yeah, okay.
- Totally get that.

11
At 00:01:11,038, Character said: - [Dennis] What are we doing?
- [Charlie] Go, go, go. Go.

12
At 00:01:13,907, Character said: [Frank] Close that door
and lock it.

13
At 00:01:15,309, Character said: - Okay. I g***t an idea.
- [Dennis] Frank,

14
At 00:01:17,511, Character said: let's not make this
a whole thing, please.

15
At 00:01:19,613, Character said: - [Mac] Just a quick in and out.
- [Dee] The faster
we get it done,

16
At 00:01:21,448, Character said: - the better.
- [Frank] I see
an opportunity here.

17
At 00:01:22,783, Character said: [Charlie] How's a school
an opportunity?

18
At 00:01:24,485, Character said: [Frank] It's not just a school.
It's a gold mine.

19
At 00:02:27,281, Character said: then we could be outta here
in a week. All right?

20
At 00:02:29,483, Character said: Look, I don't wanna get lice
from one of these kids.

21
At 00:02:31,151, Character said: Did you guys know that
Black people can't get lice?

22
At 00:02:34,054, Character said: Dee, that's, like, crazy racist.

23
At 00:02:36,190, Character said: No, no, no. That's just science.

24
At 00:02:37,424, Character said: It's the lice who are racist.

25
At 00:02:39,293, Character said: - [Dennis] All right.
Hold on, hold on.
- Racist lice?

26
At 00:04:20,194, Character said: She's a dud. She's a giant dud.

27
At 00:04:21,428, Character said: But I have an idea:
You follow me around,

28
At 00:04:23,597, Character said: make me the star
of whatever this is,

29
At 00:04:25,332, Character said: and I will make this s***t pop.
Right?

30
At 00:04:27,167, Character said: I'll steal her man. I'll expose
her for the dud she is.

31
At 00:04:30,070, Character said: What do you think?
Let's work together.

32
At 00:04:32,773, Character said: Huh? Oh.

33
At 00:06:39,233, Character said: No. No. What are you
[stammers] We're just doing
the one thing, okay?

34
At 00:06:41,735, Character said: You guys are talking
about five different things.

35
At 00:06:43,704, Character said: For Christ's sake,
you're all over the place.

36
At 00:06:45,372, Character said: What talent?
What you talking about?

37
At 00:06:46,807, Character said: Yeah. There's kids, like,
that are taller than me.

38
At 00:06:49,043, Character said: I say we recruit one
for the basketball team
at St. Joe's.

39
At 00:06:51,078, Character said: - No, no, no.
- Dude. Great idea, man.

40
At 00:06:53,314, Character said: - They've been sucking a***s, bro.
- We are just doing
the one thing. Okay?

41
At 00:08:41,722, Character said: My mind was going
to terrible places.

42
At 00:08:45,259, Character said: Anyway, they g***t off that idea
and bounced to the next one

43
At 00:08:48,195, Character said: like one of those ADHD kids.

44
At 00:08:49,930, Character said: The only thing I will say is,
their coffee was fantastic.

45
At 00:10:57,558, Character said: These people were passionate,
but dumb as s***t. [chuckles]

46
At 00:11:00,160, Character said: 'Cause at some point
they argued themselves
right into conspiracy theories.

47
At 00:11:03,097, Character said: - So it had to be a hoax.
- [Frank] Of course. Yes.

48
At 00:11:06,433, Character said: I mean, steel would not melt
at that temperature.

49
At 00:11:08,736, Character said: I mean, take fire to steel
and see if it melts. It won’t.

50
At 00:12:32,486, Character said: - [Frank] This is good.
- [Charlie] A little pitchy
at times.

51
At 00:12:34,488, Character said: - [Dennis] Very good singer.
- Very nice.

52
At 00:12:36,357, Character said: - He's a little pitchy,
but it's fine.
- Yeah? But [stammers]

53
At 00:12:38,425, Character said: My main concern is he's
coming off like kind of a nerd.

54
At 00:12:41,362, Character said: You know we've already
g***t our nerd.

55
At 00:12:43,063, Character said: - We need a bad boy.
- We do.

56
At 00:12:44,798, Character said: Hey, Steven, would you say
you’re a bad boy?

57
At 00:14:15,389, Character said: Okay. She was right.

58
At 00:14:17,358, Character said: Between fighting teachers,
pissing in lockers
and the boy band thing,

59
At 00:14:20,094, Character said: I should have booted their a***s.

60
At 00:14:21,428, Character said: Because that white woman
was going in.

61
At 00:15:39,940, Character said: Knock, knock, knock.
I've g***t a piping hot

62
At 00:15:43,077, Character said: caramel macchiato for a Melissa.

63
At 00:15:45,613, Character said: That's me.

64
At 00:15:47,214, Character said: - Oh, there you are.
- Thank you, Dennis.

65
At 00:15:48,816, Character said: It's my pleasure.
Absolutely. Hey, Go birds.

66
At 00:15:50,618, Character said: - Go birds.
- Hey, listen.

67
At 00:15:52,219, Character said: Um, might I trouble you
with a query?

68
At 00:16:47,807, Character said: Okay, I'm gonna
stumble through one.

69
At 00:16:48,809, Character said: Don't worry if you get it wrong.

70
At 00:16:50,611, Character said: - Okay. Yeah.
- Let's just try it for time.
Okay? Um

71
At 00:16:53,513, Character said: Okay. And

72
At 00:16:55,215, Character said: ♪ Caitlin Clark
And Angel Reese ♪

73
At 00:16:57,618, Character said: ♪ Captain Sully hit some geese ♪

74
At 00:16:59,587, Character said: ♪ Marijuana legalized ♪

75
At 00:18:07,421, Character said: - Fair. Fair.
- Yeah. That's a good question.
Like

76
At 00:18:09,590, Character said: So we realized that the kids
don't know anything
about 9/11 really.

77
At 00:18:11,225, Character said: It's like a joke
or a meme to them.

78
At 00:18:12,726, Character said: And, like,
"Never forget," you know?

79
At 00:18:14,495, Character said: We said, "Never forget,"
and they seemed
to have forgotten.

80
At 00:18:16,730, Character said: I love this.
I mean, I love this.

81
At 00:18:19,233, Character said: Human beings
have been educating one another

82
At 00:19:15,422, Character said: - [Dee] Goddamn pricks!
- Always a step ahead of us!
Fuckers!

83
At 00:19:17,591, Character said: I mean, the Ed Hardy jeans.

84
At 00:19:19,560, Character said: - The spiked hair.
- [Dee] Yeah!

85
At 00:19:20,628, Character said: [Mac] Plus the eyeliner!
That was my look.

86
At 00:19:22,630, Character said: - He stole it from me.
- [Charlie] It was your look,
Mac!

87
At 00:19:23,631, Character said: That has been your look!

88
At 00:19:25,633, Character said: - [Dennis] Goddamn Fall Out Boy.
- [Charlie] This goddamn
Fall Out Boy.

89
At 00:19:27,935, Character said: I've g***t nothing for this.

90
At 00:20:18,686, Character said: for every minute
of content they could.

91
At 00:20:21,355, Character said: It reminded me of that verse
on DMX’s "What You Want."

92
At 00:20:23,824, Character said: "There was Brenda,
LaTisha, Linda, Felicia."

93
At 00:20:26,960, Character said: I wasn’t mad at it.
It was a bop.

94
At 00:20:28,729, Character said: Look, at the end of the day,
did I like those people?

95
At 00:20:32,633, Character said: No. I did not.

96
At 00:20:33,634, Character said: But I will admit

97
At 00:21:11,605, Character said: Yes, no. Fair. Um, yeah.

98
At 00:21:13,073, Character said: Well, listen,
we just wanted to let you know

99
At 00:21:14,708, Character said: that our experience with you
really touched us.

100
At 00:21:18,179, Character said: You know, you blindsided us
with your heart

101
At 00:21:21,749, Character said: and your care
for those children.

102
At 00:21:23,584, Character said: And while Frank is sorry
that he couldn't be here today,

103
At 00:21:59,653, Character said: He must’ve ripped out
about a hundred feet of copper.

104
At 00:22:03,390, Character said: But on the bright side,

105
At 00:22:04,692, Character said: the state was gonna make us
move out some old pipes,

106
At 00:22:06,493, Character said: so actually he saved
us a few grand
in construction costs.

107
At 00:22:10,063, Character said: I’m gonna lose my job
if anyone sees this,
so burn those tapes.