A.Madea.Family.Funeral.2019.720p.BluRay.x264-GECKOS Subtitles

00:00:42,584 --> 00:00:44,All right.

00:00:45,337 --> 00:00:46,Oh, my God.

00:00:48,340 --> 00:00:49,Come on.

00:00:53,595 --> 00:00:55,Hello.

00:00:55,264 --> 00:00:56,Hey!

00:00:57,516 --> 00:00:59,Hey, sis! You made it.

00:00:59,851 --> 00:01:01,- Oh, yes, I did.
- Mmm!

00:01:02,062 --> 00:01:04,- Hey.
- Will, you look good.

00:01:04,982 --> 00:01:06,Oh, I didn't know you were helping.

00:01:06,692 --> 00:01:08,- Yes, I wanted to.
- Aw.

00:01:09,194 --> 00:01:11,Renee has been right here,
helping us with Mama and Daddy.

00:01:11,488 --> 00:01:12,Oh, stop.

00:01:13,282 --> 00:01:14,What's up, what's up?

00:01:14,575 --> 00:01:15,Ah.

00:01:16,618 --> 00:01:18,Well, hey there, little brother.

00:01:18,745 --> 00:01:19,- What's up?
- Uh-huh.

00:01:19,871 --> 00:01:22,- You lookin' happy.
- All right, all right.

00:01:22,583 --> 00:01:24,I **. I'm engaged.

00:01:24,501 --> 00:01:27,- Oh, well, congrats!
- Thank you.

00:01:30,007 --> 00:01:31,Yeah, she clearly ain't too fond of her.

00:01:32,050 --> 00:01:33,- How'd you meet her?
- She works with A.J.

00:01:33,802 --> 00:01:35,And he's not too fond of her either.

00:01:36,305 --> 00:01:37,Hey, congrats, man.

00:01:38,056 --> 00:01:39,Thank you.

00:01:40,267 --> 00:01:41,I'll tell you about it later.

00:01:41,768 --> 00:01:43,I'm sure you will.

00:01:43,604 --> 00:01:45,Wow, this looks great.

00:01:45,981 --> 00:01:47,Renee brought the flowers.

00:01:47,524 --> 00:01:49,Oh! Mama's gonna love these.

00:01:49,109 --> 00:01:50,She will.

00:01:50,152 --> 00:01:51,- Mmm.
- Daddy, too.

00:01:52,446 --> 00:01:54,Thank you so much for helping us, Renee.

00:01:54,156 --> 00:01:56,I would do anything
for your mama and daddy.

00:01:56,742 --> 00:01:58,- I love 'em so much.
- I know.

00:01:58,619 --> 00:01:59,You always have.

00:01:59,953 --> 00:02:02,So, are you picking up the cake?

00:02:02,289 --> 00:02:05,No. Uncle Heathrow said
he g***t somebody to take care of it.

00:02:05,292 --> 00:02:07,What? No. No way. Oh, no.

00:02:07,753 --> 00:02:09,- No. That's not happening.
- What's wrong?

00:02:09,880 --> 00:02:11,You know he's half-crazy.

00:02:11,340 --> 00:02:12,I heard that.

00:02:14,051 --> 00:02:16,Uncle Heathrow! Who's picking up the cake?

00:02:16,386 --> 00:02:17,Don't worry about it.

00:02:17,721 --> 00:02:19,I wanted to do something,
so I g***t it covered.

00:02:19,598 --> 00:02:22,Oh, okay.

00:02:23,060 --> 00:02:24,We can't let him get that cake.

00:02:25,520 --> 00:02:28,How about you pick up the crackers?

00:02:28,482 --> 00:02:30,I'm bringing the cake.

00:02:30,025 --> 00:02:31,Let him do it.

00:02:31,652 --> 00:02:33,It's their anniversary.
It's too important.

00:02:33,654 --> 00:02:34,Give him something to do.

00:02:34,946 --> 00:02:36,The cake will be sexually explicit. No.

00:02:36,823 --> 00:02:40,You right, it will be sexually explicit.
I want a old chick on a cat.

00:02:40,202 --> 00:02:41,That's it.

00:02:41,995 --> 00:02:43,I'm calling Donovan.

00:02:43,163 --> 00:02:44,Okay. We'll just have a backup.

00:02:45,999 --> 00:02:47,Of course.

00:02:47,584 --> 00:02:51,So, is this fiancée of yours
coming to the anniversary party?

00:02:51,630 --> 00:02:52,Yes.

00:02:52,589 --> 00:02:54,Good. We'll get to meet her then.

00:02:54,633 --> 00:02:56,That's right. Thank you.

00:02:56,134 --> 00:02:57,And you,

00:02:57,386 --> 00:02:58,don't start with me, okay?

00:02:59,012 --> 00:03:00,I won't.

00:03:00,180 --> 00:03:01,Uh-huh. Or her, either.

00:03:03,100 --> 00:03:04,Thank you.

00:03:04,685 --> 00:03:07,You know, she's just always
looking out for us.

00:03:07,396 --> 00:03:10,I know. Sometimes too much.

00:03:11,191 --> 00:03:13,Hey, somebody need to wash their a***s.

00:03:13,527 --> 00:03:15,Did he just say that?

00:03:15,654 --> 00:03:17,Girl, you know him.
He always says what's on his mind.

00:03:18,031 --> 00:03:19,I don't know, he kinda funny.

00:03:19,658 --> 00:03:22,When you jacked up like this,
all you can do is laugh and hump,

00:03:22,494 --> 00:03:25,- and screw.
- Hey, Uncle Heathrow.

00:03:25,205 --> 00:03:26,Hey. How are you?

00:03:26,581 --> 00:03:27,I'm good,

00:03:27,666 --> 00:03:29,Okay, great. Who are you?

00:03:29,793 --> 00:03:32,I'm Sylvia, your granddaughter?

00:03:32,254 --> 00:03:34,And that's my husband, Will.

00:03:36,758 --> 00:03:38,You just ruined a crippled man dream.

00:03:38,635 --> 00:03:40,Oh!

00:03:41,096 --> 00:03:42,Is Madea and Joe here yet?

00:03:42,848 --> 00:03:43,You invited them?

00:03:44,057 --> 00:03:45,Hell, yes, I did.

00:03:45,684 --> 00:03:47,This is supposed to be for family.

00:03:48,019 --> 00:03:50,They are family. You married into this.

00:03:50,230 --> 00:03:51,You are not family.

00:03:51,440 --> 00:03:53,- You a in-law.
- Yeah, they should be here.

00:03:53,817 --> 00:03:55,You know how Daddy feels about them.

00:03:55,527 --> 00:03:58,Hey, they're still family.
And they're funny.

00:03:58,113 --> 00:03:59,If you say so.

00:04:00,532 --> 00:04:02,Look, this is a special anniversary.

00:04:02,826 --> 00:04:06,Oh, anniversary is crazy.
Don't ever get married.

00:04:06,204 --> 00:04:08,That's a waste of time.

00:04:08,123 --> 00:04:09,Well, uh, I'm getting married.

00:04:10,375 --> 00:04:13,Oh, congratulations. What's his name?

00:04:14,337 --> 00:04:15,I ain't gay, Uncle Heathrow.

00:04:15,922 --> 00:04:17,Then why are your pants so tight?

00:04:19,634 --> 00:04:21,That's it. Get out. Out!

00:04:22,053 --> 00:04:23,That's it, son.

00:04:23,180 --> 00:04:24,Get out. Of the closet.

00:04:26,641 --> 00:04:29,Look, I have a beautiful fiancée,
all right?

00:04:29,269 --> 00:04:32,And you will get a chance
to meet her this weekend.

00:04:32,105 --> 00:04:34,And I love her, just like
you loved our grandmother.

00:04:34,900 --> 00:04:36,I was so happy when she died.

00:04:36,985 --> 00:04:40,Losing my legs was easier
than dealing with her every day.

00:04:40,822 --> 00:04:43,And she smelled like sanitation.

00:04:43,158 --> 00:04:44,Okay, stop that.

00:04:44,826 --> 00:04:46,Who are you calling?

00:04:46,703 --> 00:04:48,That better not be a drug dealer.

00:04:48,538 --> 00:04:51,Hello. Yeah, I'm running low
on my prescription.

00:04:51,124 --> 00:04:52,I mean it!

00:04:53,543 --> 00:04:55,What are you saying?

00:04:55,504 --> 00:04:58,You better get your a***s away
from me 'fore I mess you up.

00:05:02,177 --> 00:05:04,- Ah, goddamn.
- Who that?

00:05:04,221 --> 00:05:05,Oh, Lord. It's Heathrow.

00:05:06,014 --> 00:05:07,That's our brother. Answer the phone.

00:05:07,682 --> 00:05:10,I don't like talking
to Heathrow on the phone.

00:05:10,477 --> 00:05:14,- That thing he talk with vibrate my ears.
- Okay. Mmm.

00:05:14,439 --> 00:05:16,Make my ear about to have a o***m.

00:05:16,942 --> 00:05:18,Give me the phone, let me answer it.

00:05:18,527 --> 00:05:22,No, no, no. We don't wanna see or hear
you have a o***m.

00:05:22,948 --> 00:05:26,Ain't that the truth.
Ain't that the d***n truth. Not up in here.

00:05:26,243 --> 00:05:28,Still don't hear her have no organism.

00:05:28,620 --> 00:05:31,Now, I don't know about that,
Barn, you might not...

00:05:31,581 --> 00:05:33,I might wanna see that.

00:05:33,041 --> 00:05:34,Joe.

00:05:35,001 --> 00:05:37,That's Heathrow.
Heathrow calling me again.

00:05:37,212 --> 00:05:38,Joe, go on and get the phone.

00:05:38,547 --> 00:05:40,I'mma put it on speaker
'cause I don't wanna...

00:05:40,757 --> 00:05:42,- Hello?
- Y'all on the way?

00:05:43,093 --> 00:05:45,- Oh!
- See how that feel?

00:05:45,637 --> 00:05:46,That do tickle.

00:05:46,972 --> 00:05:49,- Wait.
- Don't even feel right, do it?

00:05:49,099 --> 00:05:50,- Hello?
- Oh, he can hear me.

00:05:50,600 --> 00:05:52,That's making my n***s hard.

00:05:52,435 --> 00:05:54,Oh, yeah, we over at Brian's house,

00:05:54,563 --> 00:05:56,waiting for him to get here
so he can drive us over there.

00:05:56,982 --> 00:05:58,Why can't you drive yourself?

00:05:58,608 --> 00:06:01,I have some vibration going on.

00:06:01,152 --> 00:06:02,You know I ain't g***t
no d***n driver license.

00:06:02,863 --> 00:06:04,Ain't none of us g***t no driver license.

00:06:04,406 --> 00:06:05,We can't drive that far here.

00:06:05,991 --> 00:06:07,Well, I'm here....