Resident Alien Ellite S04E08 Subtitles

At 00:00:11,645, Character said: - Previously
on "Resident Alien"...

2
At 00:00:17,952, Character said: - Welcome, again, to my podcast,

3
At 00:00:19,854, Character said: where I will discuss the search
for Peter bach's son, Robert.

4
At 00:00:23,290, Character said: - Good work, deputy.

5
At 00:00:24,525, Character said: This alien stuff,
it's all connected.

6
At 00:00:27,461, Character said: - The mantid might
still be alive.

7
At 00:00:29,130, Character said: - You can't kill me,
but I can kill you.

8
At 00:00:31,198, Character said: - And how's little Leroy?

9
At 00:00:33,267, Character said: - Starting to kick like
a little fancy dancer.

10
At 00:00:35,502, Character said: - I decided to stop drinking,
and I found an aa meeting.

11
At 00:00:38,338, Character said: So now that the baby
is safe, I want to tell

12
At 00:00:41,041, Character said: Ben and Kate the truth.

13
At 00:00:42,376, Character said: - You killed your own
dad to save me.

14
At 00:00:44,111, Character said: - Don't make it weird.

15
At 00:00:48,248, Character said: - What the...

16
At 00:01:03,129, Character said: - Hey.

17
At 00:01:04,464, Character said: Looks like I g***t to pack up.

18
At 00:01:42,769, Character said: You comfortable in there?

19
At 00:01:47,474, Character said: Sorry, Jules, you
can't come with me.

20
At 00:01:51,045, Character said: But you've been
such a good host.

21
At 00:02:19,105, Character said: - Humans do not like change.

22
At 00:02:20,874, Character said: They find comfort in their
lives staying the same.

23
At 00:02:23,610, Character said: I think for humans, seeing
your son hugging an alien

24
At 00:02:26,813, Character said: does not count as comfort.

25
At 00:02:30,917, Character said: Could you please cover up the
dead alien statue father thing?

26
At 00:02:34,955, Character said: It's making me want to barf.

27
At 00:02:37,057, Character said: - Do not disrespect my dead
father, who I just murdered.

28
At 00:02:47,968, Character said: Thank you for turning
back into a human.

29
At 00:02:51,738, Character said: That was a lot.

30
At 00:02:54,174, Character said: - It was easy.

31
At 00:02:55,442, Character said: It was like putting on a coat,

32
At 00:02:57,043, Character said: one with broad shoulders,
great hair,

33
At 00:02:59,980, Character said: and n***s like
Spanish doubloons.

34
At 00:03:02,716, Character said: - Well, thanks for ruining
history and n***s for us.

35
At 00:03:06,520, Character said: - So now, you know
I ** an alien.

36
At 00:03:09,356, Character said: And we are not too different.

37
At 00:03:12,025, Character said: Now get out.

38
At 00:03:13,227, Character said: I need to break up
my father into pieces,

39
At 00:03:15,595, Character said: turn him into a rock
garden by the lake.

40
At 00:03:17,964, Character said: - Not so fast.

41
At 00:03:18,965, Character said: We still have a few questions.

42
At 00:03:21,268, Character said: So you really went to space?
Was it neat?

43
At 00:03:23,404, Character said: Did you... did you
learn anything, or...

44
At 00:03:25,071, Character said: - It seems like a question
you could ask on the way home.

45
At 00:03:27,140, Character said: - And why are you
asking him like he

46
At 00:03:28,609, Character said: just went on some school trip?

47
At 00:03:30,210, Character said: He left the planet.

48
At 00:03:31,478, Character said: - I was only up there
for, like, 10 minutes.

49
At 00:03:33,980, Character said: And then when I g***t back,
I grew a beard because I

50
At 00:03:35,982, Character said: touched one of Harry's balls.
- I knew it.

51
At 00:03:37,718, Character said: - What?

52
At 00:03:40,887, Character said: - Metal spheres.

53
At 00:03:42,255, Character said: It's alien technology
from my planet

54
At 00:03:44,057, Character said: to assist me if I g***t lost.

55
At 00:03:45,358, Character said: And did you say, I knew it?

56
At 00:03:47,728, Character said: Do you think i'm
scrotum-ing your son?

57
At 00:03:50,097, Character said: I'm no freak.

58
At 00:03:51,698, Character said: I like birds.

59
At 00:03:57,504, Character said: - What the hell is that thing?

60
At 00:03:58,638, Character said: - This is my son!

61
At 00:04:00,273, Character said: I don't call your son a thing.

62
At 00:04:02,208, Character said: - He calls me a shaved squirrel,

63
At 00:04:03,643, Character said: pinky, mouse baby, maxi pad.

64
At 00:04:12,385, Character said: No more screen time!

65
At 00:04:13,887, Character said: - What the hell is happening?

66
At 00:04:14,955, Character said: There's... there's
little aliens?

67
At 00:04:16,390, Character said: - Mm-hmm.

68
At 00:04:17,791, Character said: - There's praying
mantis aliens...

69
At 00:04:19,226, Character said: - Why not?
- On earth?

70
At 00:04:20,827, Character said: - How could you keep
this all a secret?

71
At 00:04:22,529, Character said: - Yeah.

72
At 00:04:23,830, Character said: Buddy, you didn't think
to tell us that the town

73
At 00:04:25,031, Character said: doctor is an alien?

74
At 00:04:26,467, Character said: You know, he prescribes
Adderall,

75
At 00:04:28,134, Character said: but sometimes won't.

76
At 00:04:30,371, Character said: - I did tell you.

77
At 00:04:31,872, Character said: You told me I was broken and
wanted to send me to a school

78
At 00:04:34,340, Character said: in Georgia for special kids.

79
At 00:04:40,614, Character said: - I mean, it was a nice school.

80
At 00:04:42,148, Character said: - Mm-hmm.

81
At 00:04:43,217, Character said: - They... they had horses.

82
At 00:04:46,620, Character said: - They did.

83
At 00:04:48,088, Character said: - Does anybody want coffee?

84
At 00:04:50,590, Character said: Dinglebutt?

85
At 00:04:52,392, Character said: Oh, I call him that, too.

86
At 00:04:56,130, Character said: - Lena, it's me.

87
At 00:04:57,664, Character said: I was right about Jules
being an alien, ok?

88
At 00:04:59,599, Character said: So could you just give me a
call when you get this message?

89
At 00:05:01,501, Character said: And just know I'm pretty
sure cletus is farting

90
At 00:05:03,203, Character said: because he misses you, ok?

91
At 00:05:07,674, Character said: - Did you get a hold of her?

92
At 00:05:08,742, Character said: - Well, she thinks I'm crazy.

93
At 00:05:10,310, Character said: I mean, I sit in a car
for hours, stalking a woman.

94
At 00:05:12,378, Character said: She goes out for a cigarette,
I put a bullet through her,

95
At 00:05:14,815, Character said: and I'm the crazy one?

96
At 00:05:17,418, Character said: - I'm still trying
to process that I had drinks

97
At 00:05:18,885, Character said: with a mantid,
and she stuck me with the bill.

98
At 00:05:20,921, Character said: What a b-i-t-c-h.
You know what?

99
At 00:05:23,523, Character said: She's a murderer.

100
At 00:05:24,724, Character said: I'll just say bitch.

101
At 00:05:28,261, Character said: Oh.

102
At 00:05:29,329, Character said: - Did you... you send
a car over to Lena's?

103
At 00:05:30,764, Character said: - Yeah, they're
keeping an eye on her.

104
At 00:05:32,465, Character said: They also searched Jules'
house, found nothing.

105
At 00:05:35,902, Character said: She's gone.

106
At 00:05:37,303, Character said: - We g***t to put
a stop to this thing.

107
At 00:05:39,072, Character said: Old mining days starts
the day after tomorrow.

108
At 00:05:40,206, Character said: It sounds like this
mantid's planning

109
At 00:05:41,608, Character said: on turning it
into an all-you-can-eat buffet,

110
At 00:05:43,643, Character said: with me as a side dish.

111
At 00:05:44,945, Character said: I'm no d***n floppy broccolini.

112
At 00:05:46,847, Character said: Hell, I'm a fully loaded baked
potato, with extra bacon.

113
At 00:05:50,284, Character said: D***n.

114
At 00:05:51,618, Character said: Now I'm hungry for something
as delicious as myself.

115
At 00:05:54,721, Character said: - So you lied when you said
that Harry wasn't an alien.

116
At 00:05:57,157, Character said: - He wasn't an alien then.

117
At 00:05:58,825, Character said: - My life has been
a roller coaster.

118
At 00:06:00,961, Character said: - Hi.

119
At 00:06:02,463, Character said: We need to talk.

120
At 00:06:03,897, Character said: - Why do humans have
so many knock-knock jokes

121
At 00:06:05,632, Character said: if they never knock, knock?

122
At 00:06:07,400, Character said: - We saw your car outside.

123
At 00:06:08,735, Character said: You guys just hanging out?

124
At 00:06:10,270, Character said: - That's us.

125
At 00:06:11,705, Character said: We're the family who hangs
out with the town doctor,

126
At 00:06:13,173, Character said: who happens to be an alien.

127
At 00:06:15,409, Character said: - Remember your therapy.

128
At 00:06:16,910, Character said: Go to your happy place.

129
At 00:06:18,044, Character said: They saw Max hugging
me in my alien form

130
At 00:06:21,948, Character said: after I killed my father.

131
At 00:06:23,484, Character said: His corpse is
under that blanket.

132
At 00:06:26,553, Character said: I g***t my alien energy back
after the tube fell out

133
At 00:06:29,189, Character said: of his crotch and it broke.

134
At 00:06:32,392, Character said: Big day.

135
At 00:06:33,660, Character said: - Normally, that would
be a lot to take in,

136
At 00:06:35,662, Character said: but it's disturbing how not
disturbing all that sounds.

137
At 00:06:38,464, Character said: - Hmm.

138
At 00:06:39,866, Character said: Well, you know what's really
disturbing, is the fact

139
At 00:06:41,467, Character said: that this whole time,
the two of you

140
At 00:06:43,069, Character said: have known about...