Resident.Alien.S04E08.1080p.x265.ELliTE Subtitles

00:00:11,645 --> 00:00:15,- Previously
on "Resident Alien"...

00:00:17,952 --> 00:00:19,- Welcome, again, to my podcast,

00:00:19,854 --> 00:00:23,where I will discuss the search
for Peter bach's son, Robert.

00:00:23,290 --> 00:00:24,- Good work, deputy.

00:00:24,525 --> 00:00:26,This alien stuff,
it's all connected.

00:00:27,461 --> 00:00:28,- The mantid might
still be alive.

00:00:29,130 --> 00:00:31,- You can't kill me,
but I can kill you.

00:00:31,198 --> 00:00:33,- And how's little Leroy?

00:00:33,267 --> 00:00:35,- Starting to kick like
a little fancy dancer.

00:00:35,502 --> 00:00:38,- I decided to stop drinking,
and I found an aa meeting.

00:00:38,338 --> 00:00:41,So now that the baby
is safe, I want to tell

00:00:41,041 --> 00:00:42,Ben and Kate the truth.

00:00:42,376 --> 00:00:44,- You killed your own
dad to save me.

00:00:44,111 --> 00:00:45,- Don't make it weird.

00:00:48,248 --> 00:00:50,- What the...

00:01:03,129 --> 00:01:04,- Hey.

00:01:04,464 --> 00:01:06,Looks like I g***t to pack up.

00:01:42,769 --> 00:01:44,You comfortable in there?

00:01:47,474 --> 00:01:50,Sorry, Jules, you
can't come with me.

00:01:51,045 --> 00:01:54,But you've been
such a good host.

00:02:19,105 --> 00:02:20,- Humans do not like change.

00:02:20,874 --> 00:02:23,They find comfort in their
lives staying the same.

00:02:23,610 --> 00:02:26,I think for humans, seeing
your son hugging an alien

00:02:26,813 --> 00:02:28,does not count as comfort.

00:02:30,917 --> 00:02:34,Could you please cover up the
dead alien statue father thing?

00:02:34,955 --> 00:02:37,It's making me want to barf.

00:02:37,057 --> 00:02:42,- Do not disrespect my dead
father, who I just murdered.

00:02:47,968 --> 00:02:51,Thank you for turning
back into a human.

00:02:51,738 --> 00:02:54,That was a lot.

00:02:54,174 --> 00:02:55,- It was easy.

00:02:55,442 --> 00:02:57,It was like putting on a coat,

00:02:57,043 --> 00:02:59,one with broad shoulders,
great hair,

00:02:59,980 --> 00:03:02,and n***s like
Spanish doubloons.

00:03:02,716 --> 00:03:06,- Well, thanks for ruining
history and n***s for us.

00:03:06,520 --> 00:03:09,- So now, you know
I ** an alien.

00:03:09,356 --> 00:03:11,And we are not too different.

00:03:12,025 --> 00:03:13,Now get out.

00:03:13,227 --> 00:03:15,I need to break up
my father into pieces,

00:03:15,595 --> 00:03:17,turn him into a rock
garden by the lake.

00:03:17,964 --> 00:03:18,- Not so fast.

00:03:18,965 --> 00:03:21,We still have a few questions.

00:03:21,268 --> 00:03:23,So you really went to space?
Was it neat?

00:03:23,404 --> 00:03:24,Did you... did you
learn anything, or...

00:03:25,071 --> 00:03:27,- It seems like a question
you could ask on the way home.

00:03:27,140 --> 00:03:28,- And why are you
asking him like he

00:03:28,609 --> 00:03:30,just went on some school trip?

00:03:30,210 --> 00:03:31,He left the planet.

00:03:31,478 --> 00:03:33,- I was only up there
for, like, 10 minutes.

00:03:33,980 --> 00:03:35,And then when I g***t back,
I grew a beard because I

00:03:35,982 --> 00:03:37,touched one of Harry's balls.
- I knew it.

00:03:37,718 --> 00:03:38,- What?

00:03:40,887 --> 00:03:42,- Metal spheres.

00:03:42,255 --> 00:03:44,It's alien technology
from my planet

00:03:44,057 --> 00:03:45,to assist me if I g***t lost.

00:03:45,358 --> 00:03:47,And did you say, I knew it?

00:03:47,728 --> 00:03:50,Do you think i'm
scrotum-ing your son?

00:03:50,097 --> 00:03:51,I'm no freak.

00:03:51,698 --> 00:03:52,I like birds.

00:03:57,504 --> 00:03:58,- What the hell is that thing?

00:03:58,638 --> 00:04:00,- This is my son!

00:04:00,273 --> 00:04:02,I don't call your son a thing.

00:04:02,208 --> 00:04:03,- He calls me a shaved squirrel,

00:04:03,643 --> 00:04:06,pinky, mouse baby, maxi pad.

00:04:12,385 --> 00:04:13,No more screen time!

00:04:13,887 --> 00:04:14,- What the hell is happening?

00:04:14,955 --> 00:04:16,There's... there's
little aliens?

00:04:16,390 --> 00:04:17,- Mm-hmm.

00:04:17,791 --> 00:04:19,- There's praying
mantis aliens...

00:04:19,226 --> 00:04:20,- Why not?
- On earth?

00:04:20,827 --> 00:04:22,- How could you keep
this all a secret?

00:04:22,529 --> 00:04:23,- Yeah.

00:04:23,830 --> 00:04:24,Buddy, you didn't think
to tell us that the town

00:04:25,031 --> 00:04:26,doctor is an alien?

00:04:26,467 --> 00:04:28,You know, he prescribes
Adderall,

00:04:28,134 --> 00:04:30,but sometimes won't.

00:04:30,371 --> 00:04:31,- I did tell you.

00:04:31,872 --> 00:04:34,You told me I was broken and
wanted to send me to a school

00:04:34,340 --> 00:04:36,in Georgia for special kids.

00:04:40,614 --> 00:04:42,- I mean, it was a nice school.

00:04:42,148 --> 00:04:43,- Mm-hmm.

00:04:43,217 --> 00:04:46,- They... they had horses.

00:04:46,620 --> 00:04:47,- They did.

00:04:48,088 --> 00:04:50,- Does anybody want coffee?

00:04:50,590 --> 00:04:52,Dinglebutt?

00:04:52,392 --> 00:04:54,Oh, I call him that, too.

00:04:56,130 --> 00:04:57,- Lena, it's me.

00:04:57,664 --> 00:04:59,I was right about Jules
being an alien, ok?

00:04:59,599 --> 00:05:01,So could you just give me a
call when you get this message?

00:05:01,501 --> 00:05:03,And just know I'm pretty
sure cletus is farting

00:05:03,203 --> 00:05:04,because he misses you, ok?

00:05:07,674 --> 00:05:08,- Did you get a hold of her?

00:05:08,742 --> 00:05:10,- Well, she thinks I'm crazy.

00:05:10,310 --> 00:05:12,I mean, I sit in a car
for hours, stalking a woman.

00:05:12,378 --> 00:05:14,She goes out for a cigarette,
I put a bullet through her,

00:05:14,815 --> 00:05:16,and I'm the crazy one?

00:05:17,418 --> 00:05:18,- I'm still trying
to process that I had drinks

00:05:18,885 --> 00:05:20,with a mantid,
and she stuck me with the bill.

00:05:20,921 --> 00:05:23,What a b-i-t-c-h.
You know what?

00:05:23,523 --> 00:05:24,She's a murderer.

00:05:24,724 --> 00:05:25,I'll just say bitch.

00:05:28,261 --> 00:05:29,Oh.

00:05:29,329 --> 00:05:30,- Did you... you send
a car over to Lena's?

00:05:30,764 --> 00:05:32,- Yeah, they're
keeping an eye on her.

00:05:32,465 --> 00:05:35,They also searched Jules'
house, found nothing.

00:05:35,902 --> 00:05:37,She's gone.

00:05:37,303 --> 00:05:38,- We g***t to put
a stop to this thing.

00:05:39,072 --> 00:05:40,Old mining days starts
the day after tomorrow.

00:05:40,206 --> 00:05:41,It sounds like this
mantid's planning

00:05:41,608 --> 00:05:43,on turning it
into an all-you-can-eat buffet,

00:05:43,643 --> 00:05:44,with me as a side dish.

00:05:44,945 --> 00:05:46,I'm no d***n floppy broccolini.

00:05:46,847 --> 00:05:50,Hell, I'm a fully loaded baked
potato, with extra bacon.

00:05:50,284 --> 00:05:51,D***n.

00:05:51,618 --> 00:05:54,Now I'm hungry for something
as delicious as myself.

00:05:54,721 --> 00:05:57,- So you lied when you said
that Harry wasn't an alien.

00:05:57,157 --> 00:05:58,- He wasn't an alien then.

00:05:58,825 --> 00:06:00,- My life has been
a roller coaster.

00:06:00,961 --> 00:06:02,- Hi.

00:06:02,463 --> 00:06:03,We need to talk.

00:06:03,897 --> 00:06:05,- Why do humans have
so many knock-knock jokes

00:06:05,632 --> 00:06:07,if they never knock, knock?

00:06:07,400 --> 00:06:08,- We saw your car outside.

00:06:08,735 --> 00:06:10,You guys just hanging out?

00:06:10,270 --> 00:06:11,- That's us.

00:06:11,705 --> 00:06:13,We're the family who hangs
out with the town doctor,

00:06:13,173 --> 00:06:15,who happens to be an alien.

00:06:15,409 --> 00:06:16,- Remember your therapy.

00:06:16,910 --> 00:06:18,Go to your happy place.

00:06:18,044 --> 00:06:21,They saw Max hugging
me in my alien form

00:06:21,948 --> 00:06:23,after I killed my father.

00:06:23,484 --> 00:06:26,His corpse is
under that blanket.

00:06:26,553 --> 00:06:29,I g***t my alien energy back
after the tube fell out

00:06:29,189 --> 00:06:31,of his crotch and it broke.

00:06:32,392 --> 00:06:33,Big day.

00:06:33,660 --> 00:06:35,- Normally, that would
be a lot to take in,

00:06:35,662 --> 00:06:38,but it's disturbing how not
disturbing all that sounds.

00:06:38,464 --> 00:06:39,- Hmm.

00:06:39,866 --> 00:06:41,Well, you know what's really
disturbing, is the fact

00:06:41,467 --> 00:06:42,that this whole time,
the two of you

00:06:43,069 --> 00:06:44,have known about...