Madam.2024.S01E03 Subtitles
📝 Subtitle Preview
00:00:22,400 --> 00:00:23,Come in.
00:00:26,440 --> 00:00:28,Hi, Eddie.
- Jaz.
00:00:28,280 --> 00:00:29,Yeah.
00:00:29,480 --> 00:00:31,- We g***t your special request.
- Yeah?
00:00:31,960 --> 00:00:36,Someone's about to
have a very full bum.
00:00:36,200 --> 00:00:39,That's good news.
00:00:40,680 --> 00:00:43,- What's wrong?
- Well, is that all of them?
00:00:43,600 --> 00:00:45,How many do you need?
00:00:45,760 --> 00:00:47,Well, I mean...
00:00:47,600 --> 00:00:49,have you g***t anything...
00:00:50,080 --> 00:00:52,bigger?
- Bigger?
00:00:54,000 --> 00:00:55,- Don't worry about it.
- No, no. No, sorry, uh,
00:00:55,760 --> 00:00:57,it's just that's all we have.
- No, I should have specified.
00:00:57,240 --> 00:00:59,No, um, but did you want
to have a go anyway?
00:00:59,280 --> 00:01:01,Nah, it's fine.
00:01:01,920 --> 00:01:03,OK.
00:01:03,320 --> 00:01:05,Um...
00:01:06,680 --> 00:01:08,Oh...
00:01:09,200 --> 00:01:11,Wait.
00:01:21,560 --> 00:01:23,www.able.co.nz Able
00:01:26,760 --> 00:01:28,So, um...
00:01:28,600 --> 00:01:32,how do we feel about
clients that are married?
00:01:32,160 --> 00:01:33,Um...
00:01:33,840 --> 00:01:37,- But, you know — ethically.
- Oh. Yeah. No.
00:01:37,680 --> 00:01:40,One of my clients invited
me out on his yacht.
00:01:40,120 --> 00:01:43,Absolutely not. That is
a major safety issue.
00:01:43,520 --> 00:01:45,One time,
00:01:45,360 --> 00:01:48,I had s***x with this
really hot guy,
00:01:48,600 --> 00:01:52,and then my next client
was, like, kind of gross,
00:01:52,760 --> 00:01:54,but I orgasmed with him.
00:01:55,240 --> 00:01:57,Was that a question or...?
00:01:57,080 --> 00:02:00,- What if they're misogynists?
- Uh...
00:02:00,160 --> 00:02:02,What if they want me
to put on an accent?
00:02:02,440 --> 00:02:03,Or if they start crying?
00:02:03,600 --> 00:02:04,And what if I know them?
00:02:04,840 --> 00:02:08,What if they're really nice,
but they can't afford it?
00:02:08,400 --> 00:02:12,- And what if they're a racist?
- You can say no to anyone you want.
00:02:17,280 --> 00:02:19,Is everything OK?
00:02:19,280 --> 00:02:22,I haven't had any
repeat clients.
00:02:22,760 --> 00:02:24,Oh.
00:02:24,280 --> 00:02:25,Um...
00:02:26,241 --> 00:02:28,Tui.
00:02:31,240 --> 00:02:32,What's up, Lols?
00:02:32,320 --> 00:02:35,That sweet fat man with the sad
eyes has been in to see Amethyst,
00:02:35,160 --> 00:02:36,like, three times this week,
00:02:36,880 --> 00:02:41,so I was just wondering if maybe you
had some tips on how I could be...
00:02:41,200 --> 00:02:43,I don't know, less like...
00:02:44,640 --> 00:02:46,me?
00:02:49,440 --> 00:02:52,- Do you mind if I...?
- Yes, please.
00:02:59,320 --> 00:03:00,Lolly.
00:03:00,960 --> 00:03:02,Everyone loves you.
00:03:04,120 --> 00:03:06,Not really.
00:03:06,720 --> 00:03:07,Girls think I'm silly,
00:03:07,880 --> 00:03:10,and boys think I'm gonna
fall in love with them
00:03:10,880 --> 00:03:16,the second they say hello,
which does sometimes happen.
00:03:16,240 --> 00:03:18,Are you afraid you're gonna
fall in love with a client?
00:03:18,400 --> 00:03:21,I was a bit, but it's been fine.
00:03:21,720 --> 00:03:25,I just, uh, pretend
I'm in a romance novel.
00:03:25,080 --> 00:03:26,Bet they love that.
00:03:26,280 --> 00:03:29,No, I just do it in my head; I
don't get romantic with them.
00:03:29,920 --> 00:03:33,Why not? Plenty of guys
love that soppy stuff.
00:03:34,040 --> 00:03:36,You get super
romantic with clients?
00:03:36,840 --> 00:03:38,I...
00:03:38,360 --> 00:03:39,I get intimate.
00:03:39,880 --> 00:03:44,Um... But that lovey-dovey
stuff — I'll leave that to you.
00:03:45,400 --> 00:03:51,Babe, honestly, they're not coming
for a f***k; they're coming for you.
00:04:29,080 --> 00:04:31,Oh, f***k.
00:04:31,680 --> 00:04:34,Crikey. Still burning
through it, aren't ya?
00:04:35,481 --> 00:04:39,Um, if you did want any help with
Sweethearts, motel's very quiet.
00:04:39,480 --> 00:04:42,Yeah. No. I'll, uh— I'll manage.
00:04:42,800 --> 00:04:46,You know, I've been doing
this online investment course,
00:04:46,080 --> 00:04:48,and if there's one thing I've
learned to get ahead in business,
00:04:48,560 --> 00:04:49,it's—
- Have a p***s?
00:04:49,720 --> 00:04:50,- Well, yes, but— Oh.
- Hi.
00:04:50,800 --> 00:04:51,- Hello.
- I don't know where I'm supposed-
00:04:51,920 --> 00:04:53,- Uh, just this way. Room 4.
- OK.
00:04:56,040 --> 00:04:58,But also — be brave.
00:04:58,960 --> 00:05:01,You gotta spend
money to make money.
00:05:01,280 --> 00:05:03,And I know that you've
spent every dollar you have
00:05:03,320 --> 00:05:04,and quite a few you don't,
00:05:05,000 --> 00:05:06,but I've g***t this nest
egg just sitting there
00:05:06,960 --> 00:05:09,in superannuation,
as of last week.
00:05:09,200 --> 00:05:11,Yeah. I know. I
know. The big 65.
00:05:12,280 --> 00:05:14,Honestly, I don't need a fuss.
00:05:14,360 --> 00:05:16,God forbid a cake or anything.
00:05:16,320 --> 00:05:17,Why are you here?
00:05:17,960 --> 00:05:20,You live in a country that
basically pays you to retire.
00:05:20,880 --> 00:05:24,I hate that word. Makes me
think of cruises and cocktails.
00:05:24,680 --> 00:05:26,Ugh.
00:05:28,040 --> 00:05:30,Oh...
00:05:30,080 --> 00:05:32,- What is her problem?
- Who cares?
00:05:32,480 --> 00:05:36,Anyway, re Sweethearts — If
you did need a silent investor,
00:05:36,640 --> 00:05:38,or even a loud one,
00:05:38,640 --> 00:05:41,um, perhaps we could put
our heads together sometime
00:05:41,360 --> 00:05:42,and blue-sky some options.
00:05:42,880 --> 00:05:48,You know, really Shark Tank it and
figure out how to sweat this asset.
00:05:48,800 --> 00:05:51,I've g***t a staff meeting.
00:05:51,320 --> 00:05:53,Of course.
00:05:53,080 --> 00:05:55,- For staff.
- Yeah, of course.
00:05:55,880 --> 00:05:57,For Sweethearts staff.
00:06:02,440 --> 00:06:05,Oh. How's the training
going, ladies?
00:06:05,440 --> 00:06:10,Well, Lolly's dirty talk was
sounding a little timid, but...
00:06:13,120 --> 00:06:17,Hey, big boy. Shoot your fireman's
hose into my burning building.
00:06:18,000 --> 00:06:19,Oh.
00:06:21,000 --> 00:06:22,- Better. Yeah.
- Mm. Yeah.
00:06:22,440 --> 00:06:23,Yeah. That's good.
00:06:23,760 --> 00:06:25,We'll do another
session this afternoon.
00:06:25,440 --> 00:06:26,Thank you.
00:06:26,441 --> 00:06:28,OK, big week this week
— We've g***t Agrifest...
00:06:28,880 --> 00:06:31,biggest farming festival
south of the equator,
00:06:31,800 --> 00:06:33,and we all know what that means.
00:06:33,320 --> 00:06:35,- Ooh. Animal enslavement.
- Sale on guns.
00:06:35,640 --> 00:06:39,- No, it means rich, horny farmers.
- Finally, some cash.
00:06:39,480 --> 00:06:42,This is a chance for us all
to make some real money.
00:06:42,440 --> 00:06:44,Yeah, but not that it's
all about making money.
00:06:44,640 --> 00:06:46,Well, what else
would it be about?
00:06:46,360 --> 00:06:49,Well, it's about
emotional stewardship
00:06:49,480 --> 00:06:52,and universal empowerment
and cultural deprogramming.
00:06:52,560 --> 00:06:54,Oh my God, get f***d.
00:06:54,120 --> 00:06:56,All I know is I'm
gonna make bank.
00:06:57,760 --> 00:06:59,- Oh.
- Oh.
00:07:01,640 --> 00:07:02,For the farmers.
00:07:02,720 --> 00:07:04,Farmers work with animals;
they don't f***k them.
00:07:04,720 --> 00:07:07,OK, listen. Come on, guys,
we're all in this together.
00:07:07,320 --> 00:07:10,We've sacrificed a lot to get
to here, and now it's time
00:07:10,400 --> 00:07:13,for us to reap our rewards.
00:07:13,080 --> 00:07:15,Oh my f***g God! You guys,
00:07:15,200 --> 00:07:17,I just shoved a speaker
up a client's arsehole,
00:07:17,440 --> 00:07:18,and now I can't get it out.
00:07:18,800 --> 00:07:19,Should we be worried?
00:07:19,760 --> 00:07:20,- Yep.
- No.
00:07:20,721 --> 00:07:22,It is so far up there
00:07:22,040 --> 00:07:24,that I cannot even see
it with a phone torch.
00:07:24,120 --> 00:07:25,What?
00:07:25,041 --> 00:07:27,OK, listen, I will sort this.
00:07:27,480 --> 00:07:29,And meanwhile, ladies, you, uh,
00:07:29,280 --> 00:07:31,brush up on your farm
lingo for pillow talk.
00:07:31,680 --> 00:07:34,- We g***t a problem.
- Yes, I know. Jaz told me.
00:07:34,440 --> 00:07:35,What, you know about
the council thing?
00:07:35,920 --> 00:07:37,- My thing's a butt thing.
- What butt thing?
00:07:37,880 --> 00:07:39,- What council thing?
- What?
00:07:39,600 --> 00:07:42,Oh. Right. They just called to
say they're shutting us down.
00:07:45,760 --> 00:07:47,You said this was legal.
00:07:47,800 --> 00:07:49,It is.
00:07:49,320 --> 00:07:52,There is nothing in the act
that we're not compliant with.
00:07:53,000 --> 00:07:55,Oh, wait.
00:07:56,920 --> 00:07:58,Oh no. F***k!
00:07:58,960 --> 00:07:59,What?
149...
00:00:26,440 --> 00:00:28,Hi, Eddie.
- Jaz.
00:00:28,280 --> 00:00:29,Yeah.
00:00:29,480 --> 00:00:31,- We g***t your special request.
- Yeah?
00:00:31,960 --> 00:00:36,Someone's about to
have a very full bum.
00:00:36,200 --> 00:00:39,That's good news.
00:00:40,680 --> 00:00:43,- What's wrong?
- Well, is that all of them?
00:00:43,600 --> 00:00:45,How many do you need?
00:00:45,760 --> 00:00:47,Well, I mean...
00:00:47,600 --> 00:00:49,have you g***t anything...
00:00:50,080 --> 00:00:52,bigger?
- Bigger?
00:00:54,000 --> 00:00:55,- Don't worry about it.
- No, no. No, sorry, uh,
00:00:55,760 --> 00:00:57,it's just that's all we have.
- No, I should have specified.
00:00:57,240 --> 00:00:59,No, um, but did you want
to have a go anyway?
00:00:59,280 --> 00:01:01,Nah, it's fine.
00:01:01,920 --> 00:01:03,OK.
00:01:03,320 --> 00:01:05,Um...
00:01:06,680 --> 00:01:08,Oh...
00:01:09,200 --> 00:01:11,Wait.
00:01:21,560 --> 00:01:23,www.able.co.nz Able
00:01:26,760 --> 00:01:28,So, um...
00:01:28,600 --> 00:01:32,how do we feel about
clients that are married?
00:01:32,160 --> 00:01:33,Um...
00:01:33,840 --> 00:01:37,- But, you know — ethically.
- Oh. Yeah. No.
00:01:37,680 --> 00:01:40,One of my clients invited
me out on his yacht.
00:01:40,120 --> 00:01:43,Absolutely not. That is
a major safety issue.
00:01:43,520 --> 00:01:45,One time,
00:01:45,360 --> 00:01:48,I had s***x with this
really hot guy,
00:01:48,600 --> 00:01:52,and then my next client
was, like, kind of gross,
00:01:52,760 --> 00:01:54,but I orgasmed with him.
00:01:55,240 --> 00:01:57,Was that a question or...?
00:01:57,080 --> 00:02:00,- What if they're misogynists?
- Uh...
00:02:00,160 --> 00:02:02,What if they want me
to put on an accent?
00:02:02,440 --> 00:02:03,Or if they start crying?
00:02:03,600 --> 00:02:04,And what if I know them?
00:02:04,840 --> 00:02:08,What if they're really nice,
but they can't afford it?
00:02:08,400 --> 00:02:12,- And what if they're a racist?
- You can say no to anyone you want.
00:02:17,280 --> 00:02:19,Is everything OK?
00:02:19,280 --> 00:02:22,I haven't had any
repeat clients.
00:02:22,760 --> 00:02:24,Oh.
00:02:24,280 --> 00:02:25,Um...
00:02:26,241 --> 00:02:28,Tui.
00:02:31,240 --> 00:02:32,What's up, Lols?
00:02:32,320 --> 00:02:35,That sweet fat man with the sad
eyes has been in to see Amethyst,
00:02:35,160 --> 00:02:36,like, three times this week,
00:02:36,880 --> 00:02:41,so I was just wondering if maybe you
had some tips on how I could be...
00:02:41,200 --> 00:02:43,I don't know, less like...
00:02:44,640 --> 00:02:46,me?
00:02:49,440 --> 00:02:52,- Do you mind if I...?
- Yes, please.
00:02:59,320 --> 00:03:00,Lolly.
00:03:00,960 --> 00:03:02,Everyone loves you.
00:03:04,120 --> 00:03:06,Not really.
00:03:06,720 --> 00:03:07,Girls think I'm silly,
00:03:07,880 --> 00:03:10,and boys think I'm gonna
fall in love with them
00:03:10,880 --> 00:03:16,the second they say hello,
which does sometimes happen.
00:03:16,240 --> 00:03:18,Are you afraid you're gonna
fall in love with a client?
00:03:18,400 --> 00:03:21,I was a bit, but it's been fine.
00:03:21,720 --> 00:03:25,I just, uh, pretend
I'm in a romance novel.
00:03:25,080 --> 00:03:26,Bet they love that.
00:03:26,280 --> 00:03:29,No, I just do it in my head; I
don't get romantic with them.
00:03:29,920 --> 00:03:33,Why not? Plenty of guys
love that soppy stuff.
00:03:34,040 --> 00:03:36,You get super
romantic with clients?
00:03:36,840 --> 00:03:38,I...
00:03:38,360 --> 00:03:39,I get intimate.
00:03:39,880 --> 00:03:44,Um... But that lovey-dovey
stuff — I'll leave that to you.
00:03:45,400 --> 00:03:51,Babe, honestly, they're not coming
for a f***k; they're coming for you.
00:04:29,080 --> 00:04:31,Oh, f***k.
00:04:31,680 --> 00:04:34,Crikey. Still burning
through it, aren't ya?
00:04:35,481 --> 00:04:39,Um, if you did want any help with
Sweethearts, motel's very quiet.
00:04:39,480 --> 00:04:42,Yeah. No. I'll, uh— I'll manage.
00:04:42,800 --> 00:04:46,You know, I've been doing
this online investment course,
00:04:46,080 --> 00:04:48,and if there's one thing I've
learned to get ahead in business,
00:04:48,560 --> 00:04:49,it's—
- Have a p***s?
00:04:49,720 --> 00:04:50,- Well, yes, but— Oh.
- Hi.
00:04:50,800 --> 00:04:51,- Hello.
- I don't know where I'm supposed-
00:04:51,920 --> 00:04:53,- Uh, just this way. Room 4.
- OK.
00:04:56,040 --> 00:04:58,But also — be brave.
00:04:58,960 --> 00:05:01,You gotta spend
money to make money.
00:05:01,280 --> 00:05:03,And I know that you've
spent every dollar you have
00:05:03,320 --> 00:05:04,and quite a few you don't,
00:05:05,000 --> 00:05:06,but I've g***t this nest
egg just sitting there
00:05:06,960 --> 00:05:09,in superannuation,
as of last week.
00:05:09,200 --> 00:05:11,Yeah. I know. I
know. The big 65.
00:05:12,280 --> 00:05:14,Honestly, I don't need a fuss.
00:05:14,360 --> 00:05:16,God forbid a cake or anything.
00:05:16,320 --> 00:05:17,Why are you here?
00:05:17,960 --> 00:05:20,You live in a country that
basically pays you to retire.
00:05:20,880 --> 00:05:24,I hate that word. Makes me
think of cruises and cocktails.
00:05:24,680 --> 00:05:26,Ugh.
00:05:28,040 --> 00:05:30,Oh...
00:05:30,080 --> 00:05:32,- What is her problem?
- Who cares?
00:05:32,480 --> 00:05:36,Anyway, re Sweethearts — If
you did need a silent investor,
00:05:36,640 --> 00:05:38,or even a loud one,
00:05:38,640 --> 00:05:41,um, perhaps we could put
our heads together sometime
00:05:41,360 --> 00:05:42,and blue-sky some options.
00:05:42,880 --> 00:05:48,You know, really Shark Tank it and
figure out how to sweat this asset.
00:05:48,800 --> 00:05:51,I've g***t a staff meeting.
00:05:51,320 --> 00:05:53,Of course.
00:05:53,080 --> 00:05:55,- For staff.
- Yeah, of course.
00:05:55,880 --> 00:05:57,For Sweethearts staff.
00:06:02,440 --> 00:06:05,Oh. How's the training
going, ladies?
00:06:05,440 --> 00:06:10,Well, Lolly's dirty talk was
sounding a little timid, but...
00:06:13,120 --> 00:06:17,Hey, big boy. Shoot your fireman's
hose into my burning building.
00:06:18,000 --> 00:06:19,Oh.
00:06:21,000 --> 00:06:22,- Better. Yeah.
- Mm. Yeah.
00:06:22,440 --> 00:06:23,Yeah. That's good.
00:06:23,760 --> 00:06:25,We'll do another
session this afternoon.
00:06:25,440 --> 00:06:26,Thank you.
00:06:26,441 --> 00:06:28,OK, big week this week
— We've g***t Agrifest...
00:06:28,880 --> 00:06:31,biggest farming festival
south of the equator,
00:06:31,800 --> 00:06:33,and we all know what that means.
00:06:33,320 --> 00:06:35,- Ooh. Animal enslavement.
- Sale on guns.
00:06:35,640 --> 00:06:39,- No, it means rich, horny farmers.
- Finally, some cash.
00:06:39,480 --> 00:06:42,This is a chance for us all
to make some real money.
00:06:42,440 --> 00:06:44,Yeah, but not that it's
all about making money.
00:06:44,640 --> 00:06:46,Well, what else
would it be about?
00:06:46,360 --> 00:06:49,Well, it's about
emotional stewardship
00:06:49,480 --> 00:06:52,and universal empowerment
and cultural deprogramming.
00:06:52,560 --> 00:06:54,Oh my God, get f***d.
00:06:54,120 --> 00:06:56,All I know is I'm
gonna make bank.
00:06:57,760 --> 00:06:59,- Oh.
- Oh.
00:07:01,640 --> 00:07:02,For the farmers.
00:07:02,720 --> 00:07:04,Farmers work with animals;
they don't f***k them.
00:07:04,720 --> 00:07:07,OK, listen. Come on, guys,
we're all in this together.
00:07:07,320 --> 00:07:10,We've sacrificed a lot to get
to here, and now it's time
00:07:10,400 --> 00:07:13,for us to reap our rewards.
00:07:13,080 --> 00:07:15,Oh my f***g God! You guys,
00:07:15,200 --> 00:07:17,I just shoved a speaker
up a client's arsehole,
00:07:17,440 --> 00:07:18,and now I can't get it out.
00:07:18,800 --> 00:07:19,Should we be worried?
00:07:19,760 --> 00:07:20,- Yep.
- No.
00:07:20,721 --> 00:07:22,It is so far up there
00:07:22,040 --> 00:07:24,that I cannot even see
it with a phone torch.
00:07:24,120 --> 00:07:25,What?
00:07:25,041 --> 00:07:27,OK, listen, I will sort this.
00:07:27,480 --> 00:07:29,And meanwhile, ladies, you, uh,
00:07:29,280 --> 00:07:31,brush up on your farm
lingo for pillow talk.
00:07:31,680 --> 00:07:34,- We g***t a problem.
- Yes, I know. Jaz told me.
00:07:34,440 --> 00:07:35,What, you know about
the council thing?
00:07:35,920 --> 00:07:37,- My thing's a butt thing.
- What butt thing?
00:07:37,880 --> 00:07:39,- What council thing?
- What?
00:07:39,600 --> 00:07:42,Oh. Right. They just called to
say they're shutting us down.
00:07:45,760 --> 00:07:47,You said this was legal.
00:07:47,800 --> 00:07:49,It is.
00:07:49,320 --> 00:07:52,There is nothing in the act
that we're not compliant with.
00:07:53,000 --> 00:07:55,Oh, wait.
00:07:56,920 --> 00:07:58,Oh no. F***k!
00:07:58,960 --> 00:07:59,What?
149...
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