The.Art.of.Love.2022.1080p.WE Movie Subtitles

1 00:00:55,200 --> 00:00:56,440 Sorry I'm late, love. 2 00:00:57,240 --> 00:00:58,400 That's all right. 3 00:00:58,480 --> 00:01:01,040 This is what you get when people start working from home. 4 00:01:01,840 --> 00:01:03,000 See you next week. 5 00:01:15,360 --> 00:01:16,720 How ** I doing, Susie? 6 00:01:16,800 --> 00:01:20,360 You have a performance drop of seven percent compared to yesterday. 7 00:01:20,440 --> 00:01:22,000 Keep pushing hard. 8 00:01:29,000 --> 00:01:31,600 -Best driver in town. -Gonna need a hand, mate. 9 00:01:35,080 --> 00:01:38,760 -D***n. -These things don't get any smaller. 10 00:02:03,280 --> 00:02:04,760 Bugger. 11 00:02:13,040 --> 00:02:14,680 O***m complete. 12 00:02:16,960 --> 00:02:19,880 -I'm sorry about the mess. -No problem. 13 00:02:32,360 --> 00:02:33,680 The usual? 14 00:02:48,840 --> 00:02:49,840 God. 15 00:02:57,160 --> 00:02:58,240 Lovely, darling. 16 00:03:15,880 --> 00:03:17,920 -Hope you enjoy it. -Thank you. 17 00:03:18,000 --> 00:03:19,800 -What's your name, darling? -Peggy. 18 00:03:19,880 --> 00:03:23,320 Peggy? Oh, that's a beautiful name. I used to have a cat called Peggy. 19 00:03:23,400 --> 00:03:26,120 -Enjoy. 20 00:03:28,840 --> 00:03:31,040 And to what pretty name ** I dedicating this? 21 00:03:31,120 --> 00:03:33,200 It's a birthday gift. Her name's Angela. 22 00:03:33,280 --> 00:03:34,520 Her name's Angela? 23 00:03:35,920 --> 00:03:38,160 Well, I hope Angela enjoys it. 24 00:03:40,440 --> 00:03:42,280 -Hello, mate. -Hello, big fan. 25 00:03:42,360 --> 00:03:44,120 Oh, good, good, grand. 26 00:03:49,560 --> 00:03:50,560 Hey. 27 00:03:52,160 --> 00:03:54,000 You just signed a gift for a friend. 28 00:03:55,120 --> 00:03:58,000 You guys always say that: "For a friend." 29 00:03:59,200 --> 00:04:00,880 -You don't believe me. -No. 30 00:04:00,960 --> 00:04:02,760 Do you think she'd prefer bath oils? 31 00:04:03,640 --> 00:04:07,920 -What would you prefer? -The thing is: I don't like plastic. 32 00:04:30,480 --> 00:04:33,440 Shall I call you an Uber? 33 00:06:08,040 --> 00:06:11,160 Goldfinger… 34 00:06:18,000 --> 00:06:22,400 Good morning people! It's your boy Adam Kowinski. 35 00:06:22,480 --> 00:06:25,680 It's another beautiful day in a beautiful city, 36 00:06:25,760 --> 00:06:28,440 and have I g***t news for you! 37 00:06:28,520 --> 00:06:31,200 Now, believe it or not, yesterday I had the prototype 38 00:06:31,280 --> 00:06:34,560 for the brand new XT-5 dangling around my loins. 39 00:06:34,640 --> 00:06:37,760 In a nutshell: This thing rocks! 40 00:06:37,840 --> 00:06:40,560 Now firstly, this is as real as it gets. 41 00:06:40,640 --> 00:06:44,000 Secondly, the toy also reacts to the movement of your hips. 42 00:06:44,080 --> 00:06:47,520 And if you throw in some extra pounding, you get a bit more bang for your buck. 43 00:06:47,600 --> 00:06:50,000 Not to mention: A free workout. 44 00:06:50,080 --> 00:06:53,000 I'm sure you guys love training thighs and tight arses. 45 00:06:53,080 --> 00:06:55,880 Speaking of tight arses, the jeans I'm wearing: 46 00:06:55,960 --> 00:07:01,400 Now you guys can get these bad boys with a 15% discount at Lola's. 47 00:07:01,960 --> 00:07:04,720 Just use the code: "Adam sent me." 48 00:07:04,800 --> 00:07:06,920 That's all for today guys, signing off. 49 00:07:07,000 --> 00:07:11,840 And do not forget: I love you all. Peace. 50 00:08:16,720 --> 00:08:22,880 Hi everybody, and welcome to the 'Art of Love' Tester Conference! 51 00:08:24,520 --> 00:08:28,640 Now please, give it up for our beloved host, 52 00:08:28,720 --> 00:08:31,680 Mister Hector! 53 00:09:08,160 --> 00:09:11,440 Three months ago, I had a vision. 54 00:09:13,320 --> 00:09:18,640 A vision that we, all together, could improve love lives worldwide. 55 00:09:19,760 --> 00:09:23,640 Yes, brother! That is something worth cheering for. 56 00:09:24,280 --> 00:09:27,760 Because today, I'm gonna give all you lovely people, 57 00:09:28,360 --> 00:09:31,680 all you valued members of our big, happy family 58 00:09:31,760 --> 00:09:34,600 something to really cheer for. 59 00:09:37,840 --> 00:09:40,160 The "Art of Love." 60 00:09:43,440 --> 00:09:45,440 The "Art of Love!" 61 00:09:46,440 --> 00:09:49,440 Today is the day we say goodbye to the s***x toy, 62 00:09:49,520 --> 00:09:54,040 and we say "hello" to the love toy! 63 00:09:56,720 --> 00:10:03,120 Three years ago, the UK government appointed a minister for loneliness. 64 00:10:04,040 --> 00:10:06,320 Because according to a recent survey, 65 00:10:06,400 --> 00:10:10,840 nine million people of all ages feel lonely and unloved. 66 00:10:10,920 --> 00:10:14,720 And that, my family, is in England alone. 67 00:10:16,880 --> 00:10:20,120 The love toy is the salvation! 68 00:10:22,640 --> 00:10:26,760 So the love toy will not only fulfill your wildest fantasy, 69 00:10:27,680 --> 00:10:30,200 the love toy will love you for who you are. 70 00:10:30,280 --> 00:10:31,600 And with the love toy, 71 00:10:33,080 --> 00:10:37,840 you will never be lonely again. 72 00:10:38,920 --> 00:10:40,840 In six months' time, 73 00:10:40,920 --> 00:10:45,440 we will present the ultimate love toy at the Venus Conference in Berlin! 74 00:11:20,360 --> 00:11:22,880 Have you tested "Adam’s Pleasure" by any chance? 75 00:11:23,480 --> 00:11:26,120 -"Adam’s…" what? -"Adam’s Pleasure." 76 00:11:26,200 --> 00:11:31,040 He's g***t his own signature line. Those things have his exact dimensions. 77 00:11:31,120 --> 00:11:34,480 My wife says he's the best she's ever had. 78 00:11:37,120 --> 00:11:38,360 Right. 79 00:11:40,560 --> 00:11:43,120 For those of you who have been with us for a while, 80 00:11:43,200 --> 00:11:44,960 you'll know that each year, 81 00:11:45,040 --> 00:11:49,560 as a company, we pay special tribute to outstanding achievements. 82 00:11:50,560 --> 00:11:54,000 So, this year, the "Art of Love" Award 83 00:11:54,080 --> 00:12:00,600 goes to a person who supports our cause with incomparable dedication and loyalty. 84 00:12:01,440 --> 00:12:02,680 For six years running, 85 00:12:02,760 --> 00:12:07,480 this person has amassed more test hours than all of us! 86 00:12:10,240 --> 00:12:13,640 Ladies and gentlemen, go mad for, 87 00:12:14,640 --> 00:12:20,240 give it up for Mister Love himself, Adam Kowinski! 88 00:12:38,360 --> 00:12:40,120 Well done brother, you deserve it. 89 00:12:40,200 --> 00:12:43,320 Keep up the good work, I'm very proud of you, okay? 90 00:12:45,000 --> 00:12:49,120 So now, this year, I'm gonna be super cheeky 91 00:12:49,200 --> 00:12:52,000 and give out a second award! 92 00:12:53,720 --> 00:12:56,920 The second award goes to a person who understands human longing 93 00:12:57,000 --> 00:12:58,720 and sexual fantasies… 94 00:12:59,520 --> 00:13:01,000 like no other. 95 00:13:02,160 --> 00:13:04,960 Not only has she extensively tested the toys 96 00:13:05,040 --> 00:13:08,520 but she has provided them with a soul. 97 00:13:09,840 --> 00:13:13,000 Her test reports are beautiful. 98 00:13:14,320 --> 00:13:16,280 In fact, they are so beautiful 99 00:13:16,360 --> 00:13:19,760 that we have used them as product descriptions on our packaging. 100 00:13:19,840 --> 00:13:25,920 And this has resulted in an overwhelming increase in sales! 101 00:13:26,720 --> 00:13:31,600 And she's been with us only for five months, already a rising star. 102 00:13:31,680 --> 00:13:37,000 Ladies and gentlemen, make lots of noise, give it up for Eva Parker! 103 00:14:05,000 --> 00:14:06,880 Welcome to the family, darling. 104 00:14:08,040 --> 00:14:13,480 Now our A-team here will play a major role in the development of our new love toy. 105 00:14:17,320 --> 00:14:18,800 Ladies and gentlemen, 106 00:14:19,760 --> 00:14:24,040 the war on loneliness has well and surely begun! 107 00:14:26,920 --> 00:14:29,800 Now, this is just the beginning. 108 00:14:29,880 --> 00:14:31,840 So we'll talk next week, 109 00:14:31,920 --> 00:14:35,880 but I want you two to go and celebrate, okay? 110 00:14:35,960 --> 00:14:37,000 Ah, yes? 111 00:14:42,920 --> 00:14:44,600 Well, one size fits all… 112 00:15:22,560 --> 00:15:26,320 Hey, this is Hector, can't take your call, you know what to do. 113 00:15:26,400 --> 00:15:27,760 Hey Hector, it's me, 114 00:15:27,840 --> 00:15:31,040 if you could call me back ASAP to explain to me 115 00:15:31,120 --> 00:15:35,080 what it is exactly I'm supposed to be doing with this, ah, boomer. 116 00:15:35,160 --> 00:15:36,920 I'd really appreciate it. 117 00:15:37,000 --> 00:15:40,400 Yeah, and if I don't hear from you then I will see you at the gym. 118 00:15:42,080 --> 00:15:43,440 All right. Talk soon. 119 00:16:46,320 --> 00:16:49,200 Hey, sorry love. Sorry, I'm a bit late. 120 00:16:52,480 --> 00:16:55,560 -My boss, ah, he wanted me to, you know… -It's okay. 121 00:17:01,040 --> 00:17:02,840 This is quite a place. 122 00:17:03,720 --> 00:17:04,960 I g***t a bonus. 123 00:17:06,160 --> 00:17:08,119 Really? What for? 124 00:17:09,040 --> 00:17:10,440 Ten year anniversary gift. 125 00:17:15,440 --> 00:17:17,599 Well, at least they appreciate what you do. 126 00:17:24,040 --> 00:17:26,880 -Where's the meat? -Oh, it's vegetarian. 127 00:17:27,920 --> 00:17:31,440 No meat? How can you open a restaurant and not serve meat? 128 00:17:31,520 --> 00:17:34,400 Well, more and more people are going vegan, you know? 129 00:17:34,480 --> 00:17:36,800 Yeah. Well, I wouldn't trust them. 130 00:17:37,640 --> 00:17:40,160 Seems you pay just as much for all the trimmings without the meat. 131 00:17:40,240 --> 00:17:41,440 For god's sake! 132 00:17:42,200 --> 00:17:44,000 We've not been out in eight months! 133 00:17:45,000 --> 00:17:49,520 Sorry, sorry. I didn't mean to, you know… 134 00:17:49,600 --> 00:17:50,760 It's just… 135...